


Heuristically Speaking

by BatsuGames



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Animals, Curing the Impossible, Dagna is the bestest friend ever, Dissociation, F/M, Fixin' dwarves non-magicalness hopefully, Gereon will even be your friend wow, Leviathan ala FFXV may play a role, Magic and Science, Main character is kinda romance-stupid, Making Science/Magic hybrid things, Modern Girl in Thedas, Original Character(s), Power Imbalance, Powerful Character, Science, Women In Power, underlying bitterness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-02-08 19:44:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 102,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12871665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatsuGames/pseuds/BatsuGames
Summary: I, Lani Loch-Li, have narrowed it down to this.A university science student picking up a rock + picking up magic + picking up something else = Science!Inquisitor.And I am damn well going to change Thedas.Whether they like it or not.(Another MGiT is Inquisitor fic in first person, but with more science.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a tumbler post abut dragon age magic and soundwaves (http://holyshitdragonage.tumblr.com/post/149031101726/the-nature-of-the-veil) 
> 
> and this about the Blight (http://fanfoolishness.tumblr.com/post/117319104913/pathophysiology-of-the-blight-and-red-lyrium). 
> 
> If you don't see things in these posts in this fic that's sciency, that's from me. I will have added some things, but not too much, because these are well rounded theories that I really do love. Check 'em out. I also might add some Law of Thermodynamics and magic in, mostly to teach myself about the Laws, ha! Don't worry, it doesn't get super analytical or crazy science speak.

 

**Chapter One**

 

I gasped as I touched it, something searing into me. It burned and wrenched a way into my body, slicing into my stomach and cutting me open, leaving me raw and in agony. I snapped my eyes open, looking around at the wobbly green place full of sharp crystals and soggy puddles of shimmering liquid.I gawped like an idiot at the place.

 

And stumbled back when a screeching sound echoed in front of me, like nails on a chalkboard.

 

There was a woman there suddenly, beautiful and horrible all at once. She was elegant, sleek, with long blonde hair with a crown of mangled antlers and ashen white skin, but there was a vibrating sense of degradation around her, and the green world around her wanted her _gone_ I could just _feel_ it _sink_ into me as a statement and I wanted nothing to do with this. Fear jerked me into walking backwards, and I sucked in a breath when I had no defence against this woman, creature, _thing_ that cracked and creaked towards me, eyes like a dead fish’s but filled with a hunger and terrifying need. She reached and I yelped, frightened grin on lips as I realised I’d had a wall behind me of some kind. I yanked myself to the side and cursed inwardly as I fell over a rock like those ridiculous tropes in a horror film.

 

I just blessed the fact my ankle hadn’t twisted and that it was pure emotion messing me up right now.

 

That fear-struck smile on my lips hadn’t dropped one bit as I shuffled back, groping for anything, hand slapping into water and making me slip, twist, and cough and choke on the weirdest tasting liquid I’d ever had in my mouth. It was like a mixture of tangy, gloopy, slime, and the purest tasting glitter filled cloud – if anyone could taste a cloud. Some part of me wanted to throw up and another part of me, sliced raw and clawed open, desperately wanted more. Called for me to continue, meshing with the need to get the fuck away from this crazy grotesque being. Madly, I followed that need, drinking it down greedily as my ears pounded and head throbbed until I couldn’t drink anymore. I then rush to my feet and bolted, looking around as adrenaline raced through me.

 

Nothing.

 

It was an endless ground of green shards, wet pools of green stuff and a green sky that changed.

 

Gravity changed suddenly and I noiselessly screamed at that, confusion tumbling about me. It felt like that time I’d gone in one of those humungous zorbing balls on a dare, strapped in and rolling down a hill where the scary sense of adrenaline and complete lack of control overtook my vocal cords to keep me silent and I slammed into the… ground? Ceiling? The sudden land messed with me for a second and I sat up, running a hand through the loose fringe that had come out of the wet bun I had made of my hair, having just come out of the gym to cool off the mental fatigue of my biology exam. I wish I was back there now.

 

I ran a shaky hand over my face, laughing in disbelief.

 

Where the _hell_ was I?!

 

Hunger for the green water overtook me and I rushed to it, feeling my stomach empty once more. I couldn’t stop myself, drinking until my belly hurt and my head throbbed and my inner ears screeched in pain.

 

Why the fuck was my head hurting so badly?!

 

I shrieked as she grabbed me from out of nowhere, kicking out and getting a howl in return, as well as shouted words as I scrambled up. I dodged a bolt of _something_ that couldn’t possibly be magic and dashed away, skidding to a halt as she reappeared before me and then bolting to the right of her, looking behind me as she faded away once more. I turned right again, only to gasp as my moronic self understood mere milliseconds before it happened that I’d fell into a pond of the green stuff. I choked and struggled as I felt myself drown in it and it forced its way into me, frantic to get there with the rest of the litres and litres I’d gulped down already and bubbles of oxygen left my open mouth as pain scraped through me.

 

Heat burst through me as everything of it was sucked in, settling and expanding something in me. I felt clotted up with the stuff, saturated, bulging with green.

 

I made a keening sound as the woman dove in like a torpedo and hands wrapped around my neck, tight and clawing.

 

“ _You will be mine!_ ”

 

“Stop!” I begged, crying, pain flying around me and making black spots erupt in my vision. “C-” I choked and then flight or fight snapped in and I began to fight, furiously kicking with a single minded purpose to _hurt her damnit_ and she screamed as she was blasted back.

 

I gawped.

 

“What the fuck happened…?” I realised I was trembling when I looked down at my body to see if anything had changed. Still clad in tight soft, stretchy dark green jeans, black lace up boots that had those cheat zips on the side, baggy dark orange blouse, thick scarf and dark grey blazer. Not a damn bit of it was wet, sucked into… me somehow. Even my non-waterproof bag, when I reached behind me to check, still digging into me with my four heavy university books I’d bought for my last year, were completely fine. I shook out of my stupor as she came back, vengeance on her face. “H-Hey now,” I said, darting my eyes around and ducking as she swiped at me. “What the hell, woman?!”

 

“ _Give me your body!_ ”

 

“I have no idea what you’re saying here!” I flung out an arm to block, but a humungous wave of orange energy flared from it in an arc, making her snarl in pain, dead eyes locked onto me. I stilled, stunned by this and then with a shaking sense of understanding, I stood up properly. Teeth gritting, knowing I’d be in pain, I also knew I had to fight somehow. That there was simply no _exit_ to be seen. Unless she was the exit?

 

She bellowed an outraged roar at my defiance and went for me and I jumped out the way, feet just about catching me when the weird gravity of the world tried to drag me upside down once more but the gaping rawness in me continued to suck up the green and with demand in my head I slammed back to the ground, knees bending.

 

But I watched as _she tried to follow after me and was smashed by gravity to the ceiling_.

 

I stopped at that.

 

What?

 

Why would I be able to go against it but she couldn’t?

 

A halted yelp left me when she reappeared before me and I side-stepped with a gasp and jumped back as a bolt of lightning came at me in the shape of a dragon, snarling and snapping. It slammed into a pool behind me and I had to roll painfully out of the way, books harshly grinding into my spine, reminding me to _think_ , that _damnit_ I was a scientist in the making! What were the variables? How would one localise the subject to be treated? ‘ _Okay. So. So. So- Stop freaking out! Think!_ ’ Fear was making that hard, but with another run and a shriek of fury going on behind her, I had a moment to think before she came back. ‘ _A woman with magic, you have magic being sucked up. She’s affected by the world, you’re getting control of it.’_

 

I screamed in pain as lighting caught my thigh, burning through me like a bullet and sending thrills of burning soreness echoing through my nerves, eyes watering and making me fall, hand catching me but slipping at water, which then sucked into me greedy to be in me. The pain went in an instant and I jerked into a run as laughter and a feeling of power rising behind me like a dot on a radar came out of nowhere and I laughed in sheer nervousness, slightly hysterical.

 

‘ _Now what?! Nowwhatnowwhatnowhat?!_ ’ I whimpered and dashed around a huge crystal, hiding behind it for a moment as I heard a scream of frustration. Trembling, I swallowed. ‘ _The water gets me power, right?! That’s that weird opening thing in me?!_ ’ I grabbed my stomach, feeling only blouse and put my fingers in the hole to touch my sternum but found only soft, giving flesh. ‘ _No hole. Has to be something like a superpower then. She had it. This place has it. Now I have it. Am I infected? Either way I have it, have to use it. Need more._ ’ The world around me began to glow at that, melting quickly and I stared, disbelieving before grinning and forcing my body to begin sucking it in, uncaring of any potential consequences.

 

“ _NO!!_ ” The howl came.

 

I didn’t have to know what she was saying to hear the anger and fear in it, taking everything in, flooding me, compressing inside me. I wondered why she hadn’t killed me at the beginning when I was dazedly looking around this place because I sure as hell wasn’t letting her get away with it. Maybe reckless stupidity or the green magic was taking over my brain, but I couldn’t let her leave.

 

Not insane, not murderous, not when I now had some ability to stop her.

 

Where this bravado had come from I didn’t know, _but I couldn’t let her leave_.

 

Something was trilling in me to stop her.

 

I then got it was the green stuff making me think this, but it didn’t stop me. It appealed to my logical side that she needed to be gone. She locked her eyes on mine and I clenched my jaw, raising my hands and imagining an impenetrable barrier around her. A ball of orange eclipsed her and she, in all her finery of robes and jewels and creepy as hell joint-cracking walk, began to shove at it, lashing magic. I winced and slammed more energy into it, beginning to make it shrink and shook as the power in me thrashed through my clenching fists. No finesse at all, but I forced more out, trying to pinpoint weaknesses in her. I could find only one – her eyes - and it suddenly slammed around her as she screamed in pain, clawing at her face.

 

There was a moment of stillness.

 

I whispered, “ _Apologies, but I won’t die here,_ ” and shoved my hands together to clap hard.

 

Then she positively exploded, leaving behind a weak, throbbing, cosmic navy blue… wisp? It was like a delicate construct, but somehow like a jellyfish. I reached out for it and it zoomed to my hand, struggling sluggishly and I grasped it. I clenched down and it burst and went into me like the magic had done. Peering around, I swallowed, frustrated.

 

I wanted _out_.

 

The world cracked and I slammed into ground painfully.

 

Cold, stone ground.

 

I choked, my throat feeling dried out in an instant.

 

“W-What the…?”

 

I got up, wobbling and exhausted mentally, trying to understand what the hell was even happening here, eyes darting everywhere in alarm as I backed up into a wall.

 

The corridor I was in was nothing like I recalled. There was nothing modern about it. There were _sconces_ on the wall for godsake, metal and with patterns I would liken to something favoured some centuries ago. There were tapestries on the wall as well, beautiful and well designed. I couldn’t help but reach out the touch one and cursed as it dropped to the ground, apparently badly put up.

 

Or I was stupid enough to touch it.

 

Probably that.

 

Unsure of how I even put it up again, I kind of just figured I’d fold it back up and put it in my bag to give to someone later with a huge apology and hope they don’t seriously fine me. I didn’t know where the hell I was – would they even take British Sterling? Maybe Renminbi? I’m sure I had some Chinese currency on me still. I went through my bag, finding my phone and finding no bars. Just heavy anatomy and biology books, stationary full of pens and pencils and a calculator, empty two litre thermos that’d been full of coffee, some half eaten bag of gummy bear Haribo’s, gym clothes that needed washing in a wrapped bag and a full sports bottle of water I’d refilled after exercising for the journey back home to the student dorm in west London.

 

I drank from it heavily and sighed, and then looked around as I capped and put the bottle away in the side pocket on the outside. Wooden doors lines the corridor and I opened one. Was this a castle? Everything was old style, worn though cleaned. So that meant someone had to be here, right? Some hired cleaner? They could help! I felt a little more at ease then.

 

Until _un_ ease hit me as I began to feel a large amount of magic and swallowed.

 

Not again.

 

Please not again!

 

“ _Someone, help me!_ ”

 

And there it was, my sense of being brave from having magic getting me to go forth. I groaned at myself internally, but knew I’d never be able to face running away, and hell, maybe helping out would help me? I slam open the door sounds were coming from, only to gawp at an old woman in a robe floating in a cross formation as these people in matching suits of armour held her aloft by red light and this… _creature_ holding a sphere that glowed with green magic like the place I was just in. He was disgusting in a way the other woman hadn’t been and it made me cringe to look at him. He stared at me, something very human like surprise on his face before the woman slapped the ball out of his hands towards me.

 

Thinking this must be the way to stopping him like it had been for me stopping that messed up woman in the green world, I grabbed it with my left hand and screamed as pain flooded me and burned something into my hand.

 

The world around me throbbed and I fell in the floor before that weird beast of a twelve foot man could get me.

 

I looked around, fearful once more.

 

_Green world._

 

“Shit. Here again.” I got up, moaning. I was beginning to ache, and it didn’t help I was tired from being in the gym for a couple hours either. When was this bullshit going to end?! I walked forward, finding that once again magic wanted to be sucked into me but… It had to go through something first? I raised a hand to brush away fallen hair once more only to note some kind of mark on it. “What the…?” I stared at it, touching the magic in me to it and finding that it was some sort of… runes? Glyphs? Something like that. The place didn’t look as wobbly and distorted either. Still, I didn’t like the fact it was there, or the fact magic was now only slowly entering me. With concentration, I began to pull more into me and sucked it up greedily once more. It was now set back to autopilot when it came to sucking it into me. Somehow. So magic was to do with willpower?

 

 _No way_ was I going to fight any more crazies without as much power as I could handle.

 

I found it hard to focus on much else as I did so, stepping forth slowly into this weird kaleidoscope world once more. It must have been an hour of slow walking about, sucking up magic without end and peering around in bemusement of wondering where the exit was before I heard scuttling.

 

Large scuttling.

 

I cut off my concentration on magic taking and ran from it.

 

Breathing heavily, my heart thudded and body ached to stop and I had to minutes later. I slumped against the nearest crystal and sighed out haggardly, drained even as immense power floated about in me. It took me no time at all to spot the black… well, it was like an avalanche of-

 

I squint.

 

_Spiders?_

 

My eyes widened and I squeaked.

 

Spiders!

 

Normally I wasn’t afraid of arachnids, but large gnashing fangs on beings the size of a Great Dane had me sprinting, grasping the handles of my backpack tight to stop the slamming of it against my back with one hand. I completely forgot about fighting in the face of such fearful creatures gaining on me, not realising I was crying, terrified once more.

 

“Quickly!”

 

I stumbled at the sudden piercing cry and looked up at the old woman climbing the ladder like wall some distance in front of me and ran to her. Ignoring my protesting body as much as I could, I went up, feeling my thigh muscles scream at me. But fear made miracles happen and I was scrambling up and breathing insanely hard, sweat making my hair stick to me and get in my eyes. I got to the top with her, feeling just about done with today. “Who are you?” I wheezed, bending over, hands on knees.

 

“The demons!”

 

“What?!”

 

The woman in white and red looked at me in pity but then took off a necklace and threw it over my head, tucking it away and upon grasping my cheeks she kissed my forehead. “May the Maker and Andraste watch over you, child.”

 

Child? I’m twenty seven!

 

I was about to open my mouth to ask what she was on about, but she shoved me back into the huge glowing hole behind me and I slammed to an ash filled ground, groaning out loud at the sharp edge of books grating into my back. It closed and the power in that mark zapped out of my hand making me cringe before people in armour with longswords approached me.

 

My body shut down in an instant when the power came back into the mark.

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

 


	2. Violent Introductions

 

 

** Chapter Two **

 

 

I awoke to feeling frozen and pain with the smell of cold damp in my nostrils. There was one small blur of heat coming from the side and I opened my eyes to see a torch being held over me by a scowling soldier, squinting against the light. The hell did I do to get that look? I wanted to say, but he strode off, probably to go get someone.

 

Good.

 

Better than staying here-

 

“The hell…?” I shifted the clamp around my wrists to get a better look, bewildered. I’m a prisoner. _For what?!_

 

I scramble my thoughts for anything I could have done.

 

“Tell me why we shouldn’t kill you.”

 

I jerked at the sight of two women, one in purple and chest armour, with a large shield on her back and longsword on her hip. Black hair with a braid and a tan complexion and… what accent was that? It was a mixture of what I knew as European accents. The woman had strong shoulders to her, in a certain purple uniform with a chest piece, and began circling me, practically prowling for any weakness. My mouth opened but I was unable to form words, half having thought it was a maniacal dream from too much studying.

 

It was weirdly a blow to realise it was me, still here.

 

I’m still in it.

 

Coming to terms with the fact this place was real would be something that’d take it’s time.

 

“The Conclave is destroyed.”

 

Confusion went through me.

 

I mouthed to myself _conclave?_

 

What…?

 

The only conclave I’d heard of was a papal one.

 

Must be, right?

 

“Everyone who attended is dead. Hundreds.” The strong woman circled to my front and glowered down at me. “Except for you.”

 

I stared in horror, unable to speak. _Jesus_.

 

She scowled deeper and grabbed my hand shoving the bright mark up to my face. “Explain _this._ ”

 

I opened my mouth, about to explain, but nothing came to mind.

 

Alarm ran through me.

 

No.

 

Something had happened!

 

I remember the woman in the green world. Both of them. But I don’t remember the way of how I got this mark. “I… I can’t? It’s gone. The gap. I was in the green world, chased, spiders and… the woman in white, she gave me a necklace and shoved me out and then… ash?”

 

“A necklace?” The other woman spoke up, red head in a purple shawl and a long chainmail tunic with thick gloves.

 

I reach up, stopping at the sudden hand on the hilt of the woman with the longsword. “I was going to show it?”

 

The other woman spoke up, “Cassandra, let us just see it.”

 

Cassandra nodded once and I awkwardly took it out. Some figure of a woman on a chain. The two stilled and looked at each other intently before the sword-bearer stated, “Go to the forward camp, Leliana. I will take her to the rift.” The necklace get's snapped off me, and I wince at the burn.

 

A nod, and red was gone with a narrowed look in my direction.

 

I watched as Cassandra came closer, ducking down, pausing again at the sight of the necklace on my scarf and then unlocking me. “What… what happened, Miss Cassandra?” I ask, feeling particularly tender.

 

“It will be easier to show you.”

 

In no time at all, I saw it.

 

 

I murmured under my breath, “Oh my god…”

 

“We call it the Breach,” Cassandra said without any inflection and then told me of how this was the biggest one, but there were multiple others and caused by the explosion at the Conclave.

 

The Breach suddenly flared with power, causing me to feel rivets of pain claw up my arm from what felt like a dagger twisting the inside of my hand and ripping apart muscles and bone. I hissed out wordlessly and bared my teeth in a dangerous snarl, my whole body shaking with the attempt to hold the pain from showing. It slowed after a good ten seconds but left me breathing heavily, and knees about to buckle. Then I looked down at the mark. Something that was once only a centimetre had grown into an inch and a half, cradled right in the middle of my palm, glowing a pleasant green. The pain had shocked me out of my stupor for the moment. “It spreads in time with it?”

 

“Yes. And it is killing you. Unless we act, the Breach may grow until the world is swallowed up by it. That mark may be the key to closing it.”

 

“Then let’s try. Six impossible things before breakfast and all that.”

 

The woman frowned. “What?”

 

“Alice in Wonderland.”

 

“Wonderland? Where is that? Is this your home?”

 

I stared at her in disbelief and about to say something, but then people caught my attention. All of them in old clothing, most likely a bit scratchy, dirty and the smell was rather… farm like. Buildings all around me were rustic, wooden, with barrels and carts everywhere. I heard some chickens cluck in the distance and the slamming of metals some other direction. Snow was all over, showing me why I’d been so damn cold. My clothing wasn’t doing anything for me either, more for spring weather it had been back home. I looked behind me, noting some type of chapel like building that I remember being everywhere in Ireland when I visited friends over there one time.

 

Not possible.

 

I began to breathe heavily, loudly and backed up, somehow more scared by this than I was by the crazy bitch in the green world. The green world was so twisted that I could believe it, yet this… this was too much to believe and I stepped back again, slamming into the chapel and shaking my head. “No, no, no, no, no.”

 

“What is wrong?”

 

_It’s a whole other world! It’s real, it’s real, it’s fucking real!_

 

I gave a partly hysterical laugh under my breath and grinned at her hysterically with far too much teeth and eyes that touch too wide and she looked at me warily. “Just completely out of my world and depth.”

 

Cassandra gave me a hard look. “Enough fooling around. You will come with me to the Breach.” She grabbed my still bound wrists and shoved me forward, telling me how the people here of Haven (I inwardly snorted at the name) mourned the Divine Justinia (Christ, I was being accused of killing some religious leader now?!) and how the conclave was the chance between Mages and Templars for peace between them.

 

Templars? I grimace and dodge the spit someone hocks up my way. So this was around the twelfth century now?!

 

The next bit of phlegm doesn't miss, and I cringe at the green on my jeans.

 

“S-So, it’s the Julian calendar, right?”

 

Cassandra pretends not to see the way I am treated. “What? Do not try to trick me with your nonsense. Go. We will test that mark of yours on the rift.” She cut the binding off my hands as we went over a bridge and it was after walking up another one she began to talk about demons of all things coming from these green holes in the sky. I gawped at her before putting my hands to my face and laughing, which seemed to piss her off. “You mock this?!”

 

“No! Just… demons? What’s next? Vampires? Angels?” I then yelped as a bolt of Breach had us tumbling and I caught Cassandra on me as we slammed to the ground. I coughed and then chuckled. “Looks like you fell for me, Cassandra.” I joked weakly making her growl and get up, shoving me up into a stand as well. Just in time for a shock of energy to come flinging down from the skies’ rip to smack into the icy ground we’d fallen to. Some odd cloaked Harry Potter-esque Dementor thing came up, black clouds spewing from under it. I groaned. “Of course, speak of the fucking devil… Demons are real. Holy fucking shit.” I then snorted at all the irony in my words.

 

“Your mouth is atrocious,” Cassandra said in disgust.

 

“You do not know the day I’ve had, lover. Wouldn’t mind you cleaning it out for me.” I winked at her, making her scoff and take her blade out, momentarily making me wary though I kept the cheeky grin on my face to hide it.

 

“Do not call me that and stay behind me.” She charged off without another word.

 

But more of that black cloud spewing stuff came up, and I widened my eyes in surprise, looking around for something to help me and landed on a _staff_.

 

Well.

 

Of course there was one.

 

I grab it, grimacing at how heavy it was – and where the hell was my bag, now I think about it? I didn’t take long to ponder that, grabbing a pair of daggers in a sheath on a belt with pockets, putting the staff that was pulsing with energy as soon as I touched it under my arm. Couldn’t use the blades, but maybe someone who didn’t have them could? I belted them on swiftly as it shrieked at me and focused on my magic, having to work to put it through the staff, which took more effort than I recall it doing when using my hands only. A blast of energy wrenched through it, making it spray into a thousand pieces of dust.

 

Hm.

 

Too much energy.

 

Even the staff was hot in my hands, the spiked ball that must be some kind of conduit was red hot.

 

I blinked at it, wondering at the fragility of this weapon.

 

“Drop your weapon. Now!”

 

I jerked, lowering it instantly as Cassandra aimed her sword at me. “With all the demons?” I squeaked out in fearful disbelief, embarrassingly enough. Then I cleared my throat, about to let it go. “A-Alright.” It's not like I needed it, judging by past experiences.

 

“Wait.” She clenched her jaw and nodded to herself, sheathing her weapon. “You cannot be without weapon in such conditions. Keep it.” She cautiously looked at the red focus on the staff and looked back at me, pursing her lips for a moment. “We must keep going forward.”

 

Keep going forward meant dealing with about twenty odd more Shades as Cassandra called them. Luckily enough it gave me time to practice with controlling my magic, that, once thrashing and wild in me, had generally calmed down and was practically purring at being used so often. I couldn’t decide if it was a good thing that I could feel it and other magical things about me. It certainly was kind of annoying, even if helpful. Hopefully not going to keep me awake at night either. Determined to make it back home, I was, and I’d have to learn how to wield this stuff if I wanted to make any attempt at getting back through.

 

If I could get here then I could damn well get back, too.

 

We got to some sort of bridge and there were those Shades coming out from around a green crystal – this was the ‘rift’, right?

 

The mark on my hand twitched in reaction, likely relative to the distance of the rift. I shook my head as Cassandra charged into the fray. I aimed the staff like a gun and fired it swiftly and easily, sucking the energy that came out from the staff into the area around me back into me so it wouldn’t go to waste like I had done in the green world. I stepped closer to the rift, eyeing it before a hand took my own and I looked down at the pale digits on the males’ hand, thinking they’d look good with a violin in them, only to have it thrust up. “Quickly, before more come through!”

 

The magic in the mark reacted in an instant at the touch of his own to mine, making me shiver but then the rift sucked up into me, sealing the world behind in a swooping sucking sound and I felt it power my magic even more.

 

He let go, eyes flickering before giving a smile my way, pleased by something.

 

What the heck was that? Had he done this before?

 

I blinked slowly. “Do you play the violin?”

 

It was his turn to blink at me. “I… do not, no.”

 

“You should, you have lovely hands,” I remarked earnestly and then looked back up and slowly swiped my hand through the air where it had been. “It’s really gone. This mark thing actually does close it.” Then I snorted and giggled. “Re _mark_ able!” Cassandra scoffed in disgust while the ears of this male in front of me twitched upwards, a little quirking of his lips as someone laughed behind me. I turned to see some short guy, broad as all get out and like a mini tank. “Good afternoon, you two. Lovely weather we’re having, isn’t it? The scent of farm and apocalypse really clears the senses. Or baffles them, either way, it’s a headache.”

 

“I think I’m going to like you,” The male with the crossbow said, nodding in appreciation.

 

I give him a little grin. “And the fact I have this mark piece that apparently closes these things helps, right?”

 

“Always good to know we have a plan to stop apocalypses, because here I thought we’d be ass-deep in demons forever! Varric Tethras, rogue, storyteller, and, occasionally, unwelcome tagalong.” He winked at Cassandra getting a sound of derision and crossed arms.

 

“Can’t win them all. Though I did already win her over.” I waggled my brows, playful.

 

Varric’s eyes twinkled at me. “Oh?”

 

“She fell for me you see,” I sighed, putting hand to chest, “Right into my arms. Couldn’t resist.”

 

Cassandra spluttered. “We fell off of a bridge! You caught me!”

 

“See? Couldn’t resist!” I laughed when the woman shoved me in disgust and stumbled next to the other guy, a grin on my face, because laughing about stuff like this kept away the fact I was in another world. Kept it from being real. “Can’t keep her hands off me. Even after saving her from slamming her head into piece of stone,” I remark, with some pointedness in an undertone.

 

“Seems like the Seeker needs all the help she can get.”

 

The woman came over with pursed lips at the pointed remark, ignoring mine. “Varric, your help here is appreciated but-”

 

“Have you been in the Valley lately, Seeker? Your soldiers aren’t in control anymore. You need me.” The short male pushed.

 

“Ugh.”

 

The pointy eared fella by my side spoke up, “My name is Solas if there are to be any introductions. I am pleased to see you still live.”

 

I was about to say ‘pleased to meet you’ when I heard that, mouth open before closing with a snap, eyebrows lowering because who the hell said things like that?

 

Varric chuckled at me. “He means ‘I kept that mark from killing you while you slept.’”

 

I blinked at that. “Oh.” It was trying to kill-? My manners suddenly kicked in. “Oh! Well, yes it has been having its’ temper tantrums,” I acknowledge, looking at it and dreading the next time it’d light up. “Bah. Ah, but I must mind manners, so thank you! I'm very grateful.” I beamed at him, because living is high on my list of priorities. “That’s how you knew about the mark, then? You’ve been tending it?”

 

“Indeed.” He sounded a bit bemused by me.

 

Not really sure why. I just thanked him. Normal for people saving your life.

 

“Unlike you, Solas is an apostate.”

 

Apostate?

 

I think I’d heard of that word before?

 

No wait, I was thinking of acolyte, and this one didn't look like part  of a religious faction like Cassandra.

 

“Technically all mages are apostates now, Cassandra.”

 

Mages _were_ a thing? Well yeah I’d been using magic, but I’d simply thought people here all could, that some just preferred sword and shield. But then... I’d not actually seen anyone but myself and Solas here use it. Hm.

 

“My travels have allowed me to learn much of the Fade, far beyond the experience of any Circle Mage,” He informed me, eyes locked onto mine. I cocked my head, silently asking for him to continue as I looked at him in curious interest and he did so, still somewhat judging. “I came to offer whatever help I could with the Breach. If it is not closed, we are all doomed, regardless of origin.”

 

“That’s brave of you. Not many would want to face that.” I nodded at the glowing magical hurricane looking thing. “Even if they have the skill to. Of course, I kind of have to, that’s my way home.”

 

Solas’s gaze sharpened. “Home?”

 

“I came through there, as in via the green world, from mine.”

 

There was a quiet tension in the air.

 

I looked at each of the three. “What? Just get me to the Breach. I go in the Breach, then I can close it on the other side with this right?” I showed the mark, hopeful.

 

“I do not know if it will work like that,” Solas spoke up and I turned to him to ask for more insight, but he was speaking to Cassandra, making me narrow my eyes. Getting passed over like that made me twitch. “It is magic unlike anything I have ever seen. Your prisoner is a mage, but I find it unlikely any mage is able to have such power.”

 

I looked at the Seeker, who seemed more prone to believe him than the woman who claimed to come from another world. “Why not? Surely if I’m on the side with magic saturating the very air and water, I can use it with more ease? That if it’s concentrated, the effects should be catalysed and have greater power for it?” I reason out, knowing my magic was vastly more easy to use over there than with this staff, even though it helped with control of how to use it. “The greater the power,” I say to Cassandra, “The likelier it closes, yes? And that up there? It’s going to need all the power it can get. And what better power source than the green world itself?” I say temptingly.

 

She does seem rather taken by my argument, but then narrows her eyes at me. “And have you get away with opening the Breach, destroying the Temple?”

 

Indignation washed through me. “Okay, I did not open that thing. I did not blow up your Temple. I didn’t kill those people. Never killed a damn thing in my life until those ghastly screechy beasty things came out of it. Notes for posterity, alright?”

 

Cassandra strode forward and I yelped as she grabbed me by the scarf and drew me closer. “You will be coming with me to close this Breach and on this side. You are my prisoner-”

 

“On who’s bloody authority?!”

 

“The Chantry!”

 

“The Chantry? As in some sort of religious faction?” I repeat, eyes narrowed. “You _actually_ have the government of countries intertwine with a religious sect?” Cassandra nodded, teeth clearly gritting as her jaw jumped. I burst out into mocking laughter. “Do you know how utterly ludicrous that sounds to me? That you believe in some God and force others to and allow them to be punished if they don’t, I’m taking it as? Are you serious?! The government should have its’ own policing force which religion should defer to for being moralistically upholding rather than spiritually upholding. I know people exist, but I sure as hell don’t know if your God exists!” I yelped as I was thrown back with a sound of disgust, hands skidding and cutting open, making me wince.

 

But more at being treated like shit.

 

“Whoa now, Seeker!” Varric said, stepping in front of me. “Everyone’s allowed their opinion.”

 

I look down, thinking back to video games I’d played and fiction I’d read, wondering if healing was a thing. I concentrate on it, putting magic in my hands very, very slowly, tentative, thinking of what I wanted it to do. It was a lot harder than throwing magic out, but when I realised I wasn’t giving it enough direction, I thought about the arterioles clotting and healing up, of dirt being pushed out, of multiple layer of skin stitching together seamlessly. It left me with a bit of a headache to go through all the knowledge I knew from my degree but it worked in an instant. I even closed that wound on the side of my thigh from that crazy woman in the Fade.

 

Solas held out a hand for me.

 

I ignore it and get up with a clenched jaw angrily, brushing myself off silently, not looking at her. “I see how it is then, in your _Chantry._ You don’t like what I say, so you use violence. Right. Why am I not surprised? There will always be religious wars,” I mutter to myself, though they all heard it.

 

“I apologize.”

 

I wanted to be a little shit – who the hell throws people?! – but then realised it was a different time and I was a prisoner. Prisoners didn’t get shit. “Accepted. Please don’t do it again.”

 

Cassandra simply nodded, though in acknowledgement and not agreement. “Let us go to the forward camp.”

 

So we did.

 

And naturally the prisoner was under scrutiny once more. Gods, the pain I am going through trying to not be condemned is unreal. And this is probably getting off lightly as well. This Chancellor Roderick guy wanting to send me off to this French place to get executed. Frustration and the need to cry kept welling up in me during that conversation I wasn’t part of and I grit my jaw through it all, throbbing with derision and restrained belligerence. Until they couldn’t make a decision. Then the Breach boomed and shuddered and I gasped, bending forward and screaming silently before coughing and choking as it went and I flooded the magic down that arm to heal it, waving the hand to clear the last vestiges of pain from it. I stare in disbelief at them asking me what I think, breathing heavily as if I'd run a marathon.

 

Seriously, they locked me up, forced me to fight to the death, harmed me for thinking my opinion out loud, and now want me to give my opinion.

 

Off their fucking rockers, this lot.

 

“You violent religious nutters want me to choose for you? Fine. Mountain pass. The scouts might have something useful.” And no way was I going into a big fight in this state.

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

  

I kept getting thrown off, magic slamming around in me haphazardly as I have to keep parting my focus from the Breach.

 

Damn all these demons! I had to hold it open to get through!

 

I shoved all the power I could into the Breach and saw that I could get through! I could go home! A little bit more flew from me and-

 

I lost my breath and possibly broke a couple ribs as the Pride demon snagged me by the chest and flung me away from the Breach and spit flew from my mouth as I slammed to the ground a good twenty feet away. I coughed and spluttered, tasting blood and shuffled back, focusing on healing with my magic, hissing at the feel of someone tugging me up, my name being called in alarm.

 

Solas.

 

Tch.

 

Wasn’t best pleased with him right now.

 

“Thanks.” I side-stepped away from him, concentrating on healing bone as he put a cooling barrier over me. Must prefer the ice then? He had used it the most. It helped me focus though and bones clicked back into place. I tried to scan a little but that needed more magic. I needed to heal this Breach up. I doubt I could go on the other side now, but thought that if I had to reopen this one, I could reopen another later on when I’d gained some trust.

 

With a thought, I relinked myself to the Breach and grudgingly closed it, knees crashing to the ground and fell unconscious from the blast of magic coursing into me and making it my own.

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, and we shall be getting past the first bits soon :)


	3. The Stories That People Tell

 

**Chapter Three**

 

 

I awoke once more, confused at the surroundings of a cabin and my position on the bed, and of my clothes. “Beige?” I mumble, bewildered, and sat up, jolting at a sound of something crashing to the ground making my magic pulse from me in alarm.

 

“I am sorry milady! I did not know you were awake!” She fell to the floor, making me jump again and began to spout apologies without end.

 

I goggled at her for a moment. “Uh, it’s cool. Please get up from the floor; that must be uncomfortable.”

 

The woman looked at me as she got up, all unsure and scared and I stared at her blankly. “I-I should tell Seeker Cassandra you are awake!”

 

“Where am I?”

 

“Haven! They say you saved us milady! The Breach stopped growing, just like the mark on your hand. I must go see Seeker-”

 

Because she wanted to see bloody Cassandra, I simply wanted to stop her. “Can you bring me food first? And my stuff like bags and clothes? I’m so hungry from stopping the Breach growing.”

 

“Y-Yes, milady!” She scarpered and I ran a hand over my face. It was quiet then, with only a fire crackling keeping me company. I felt sweaty and haggard and slumped back unhappily, staring at the ceiling and still unable to believe I was here. What the hell do I do? I was so close to simply opening it enough, holding back the Veil to magic my way through. Stupid fucking Pride demon! I grabbed a pillow and howled an angry scream into it, flinging it across the room and then bursting into tears of frustration. My magic rumbled through me in reply. I just… how could this happen?! What had I done? I picked up some kind of rock I thought one of the PhD students had lost since I’d overhead her going on about it in the library I was swotting up in before the exam.

 

Not to mention my family and friends and, shit, magic was wondrous and all, but without it I’d still be happy with them.

 

Stupid rock.

 

I close my eyes tight, rubbing my face from furious, disbelieving tears.

 

No.

 

I could still get back.

 

It was... _good..._ I’d stayed for now, anyways. I could make up a plan for the Fade proper, instead of bullheadedly charging into the magical other half of this world. I wondered about that as well. Was it like some underground area, like with Hades? Or more like the Norse gods with their multiple worlds? They said the Veil is the… something between worlds? Gateway? Barrier? But with the mark I could get through it, it’s just, making another gateway now… er, right? But then how do I pinpoint where the gateway of the Fade to my world is? And the correct time?! Did I have to find that rock?! How the hell could I find a singular rock in a whole _world?!_

 

It felt more and more impossible as logic set in. Magic was an extreme advantage here, but even magic had to have limits, right? And how did it work? I pondered if it meant I was putting my science understanding into magic so magic understood my clear instructions or if because of my science I knew what to do to make it work or if magic just understood wants. Or something else? Surely it was magic understood with my control needing to... something. Oh, I don't know! I didn’t think it was sentient, but from inside me and my instinctual understanding of magic, it sure wanted to be used. Did _that_ make it sentient? My understanding wasn’t clear on that question. Maybe it depended on my understanding of something else not yet explained?

 

Thinking on this stopped me feeling so uselessly adrift, so I focused on what I could do now, playing with magic, feeling better with some of it in my hands. I tried to mould it into ice first, having seen Solas wield it well and feeling the magic of it sweeping out often was clear in my memory. It came out half frozen solid and half like that squelchy snow crap on the pavement when it didn't snow enough to make a proper layer on the ground. This wasn’t so bad, but ice didn’t really feel good for me, oddly _too_ still. which made no sense to me. I could still use it and thought of a few things to do during a fight with demons when closing the rifts but the most fun I would have would be making ice statues. Chipping away and melting ice could be a fun diversion over the days when not exploring magic and Fade.

 

And holy shit,  _demons._ That's a fucking doozy. Things like that here were- I cut my thoughts off. No. Best to ignore it until it happens again. Just practise, practise, practise.

 

I didn’t get much time to play as the woman came back, nervous and carrying a large bowl of stew and two rolls I could never finish. I looked up in alarm as she struggled to get in while having my bag on her back and scrambled up from the floor to go over and help. “That’s… hey come help me eat this, would you?”

 

“Oh, I-I couldn’t possibly-”

 

“I’d never be able to eat this all, and you could use a good meal. You’re skinny for a human. How else will you survive the winter, woman?”

 

The lady blinked. “I-I’m elf?”

 

“Pardon, elf? What’s that?” I question, putting the tray down and ignoring her wringing hands at me doing so called servant work. Surely it wasn’t like the Lord of the Ring elves, because looking at her - no offence, but no. Those proud beings would not be like this. And certainly not the tiny Santa’s elves or Harry Potter House Elves.

 

“We’re uhm, another type of being, like dwarves and qunari.”

 

“Wait, really? That’s… oh. I’ve never met anyone but human. Do you have a home country? And language? What about culture?” I ask, intrigued and then push the bowl at her and enthuse, “Eat as well! What’s your name?”

 

“N-Nina. Well, we speak Elvhen…” The woman slowly went into an enthusiastic talk about the culture she knew, informing me about everything I’d ever want to know. She winced at speaking of the humans in a bad light but I waved that off and told her to continue, curious and learning. I even began practising a few Elvhen words with her, laughing at any and many mispronunciations. As she ate I talked to her of the basics of biology, simple stuff like digestion system and circulatory system. She was staring half the time until I nodded at the bowl and she blushingly ate. She was able to parrot back all I said and I cocked my head, musing.

 

I… kinda liked her a lot.

 

“You like this stuff?”

 

“Oh yes, milady!” Nina replied cheerily, bright and attentive.

 

I could definitely be a teacher. “Well, next time if you bring me food I’ll teach you some more. Doesn’t hurt to brush up on the basics. Oh next time I’ll try to use magic to create a replica fake one!” I said, thinking of using ice. Could I colour ice? Was that a thing I could do? Surely it was? I then felt a twinge in my lower body and grimaced. “Say, I’m coming up on my-" I hesitate, wondering if they'd understand, " _Moon_ soon…” She flushed and told me of the things I would need, promising to bring me some tomorrow and show me how it was used. We then went onto bathing products which she was very interested in, telling me of the many scents she’d smelt before and would love to try. The door knocked loudly. “Seems like I’m to have company. Hey, hug me! I hug all my friends goodbye.” I demand and her cheeks go red in delight, shyly doing so and making me hug her warmly back. “Yeah?” I call out loudly.

 

“It is Cassandra. May we speak, please?”

 

I pause, letting her think I was considering it. “Come in.”

 

The Seeker came in with three others, eyeing the elf without emotion who looked about to shake in terror.

 

Going to save her, I spoke up, “Mm, Nina, I’ll see you again soon, yeah? Have a good day!” Nina gave a little bow and left quickly, my grin following after her before turning a polite, but bland look her way. “Cassandra. Is it time for book club? Didn’t get the memo, though if you’ve not messed with my things too badly I’ve likely got some in there.” I thumb at my bag.

 

“I can only apologize for wrongly accusing you. Reparations can be made.”

 

I sigh. “You know what I want.”

 

“You realised it may be impossible?”

 

My lips quirked up. “I’ve begun to believe nothing is impossible, only improbable and it is only impossible if it isn’t attempted.”

 

“Those are surprisingly heartening words,” The only male said, and I looked his way. Damn. He was _attractive_. He had a hand on his sword and I stared at that until he let go, coughing into the hand that held, crossing arms instead. “It is habit.”

 

I gave a half-hearted smile. “Yee-es, I got that that when I used magic around the soldiers when I was closing that gigantic magical hurricane in the sky, because somehow my tool of magic that can also heal is worse than your blade that is only made for one thing. Sorry, did I come off as bitter?” I ask rhetorically, looking away into the banked fireplace, “I guess I’m not doing my _utter_ frustration with this world any justice.”

 

“Lady, ah,” Josephine looked to Cassandra, who suddenly stilled and shook her head. “I am Josephine Montilyet, an Ambassador for the Inquisition.”

 

I choked and looked at her sharply at that, eyes narrowed. “An Inquisition? I am not interested in a religious group out to expel people who worship other deities forcefully from their lands, thanks.”

 

“That is not what Inquisition’s stand for,” The red head said, who I couldn’t remember the name of.

 

“They do where I’m from,” I retort. “So I’m a little wary of history about to repeat itself again, despite worldly differences.”

 

“This Inquisition stands to close the Breach, restore order and find the ones who opened the Breach in the first place,” Leliana replied strongly, looking at me in determination.

 

I hum at that. “That’s a plan I can get behind if only to clear my name for my time remaining here. However, if I help seal the Breach, I have no way home. To my world. What makes you think I could give that up, and what would make me think, if I did, that you wouldn’t simply toss me out after my only use is up?”

 

“You raise good points, Miss…?” Josephine asked kindly, “What is your name, please?”

 

“Lani Loch-Li. A pleasure to meet you.” I wasn’t about to tell them I was adopted to Chinese parents despite being a typical white Brit from London. No point. They’d have no idea what either countries were.

 

“Miss Loch-Li. The future of our world depends on you being able to close the Breach,” She said earnestly. “I will bring you into my noble family if you help us after it is closed. I assure you I am in good stead with my family name being well renowned and you can judge what I do here for the Inquisition by seeing how I work and what my family worth is. Until then, we can pay you by the rift.”

 

“And get undercharged while putting my life in danger because I have no knowledge of worth of things in this world?”

 

“Perhaps I can bring you to stores here,” The man with a sword stated. “So you may see prices and put that against what we offer. I am sure there is information on prices and homes in different countries so you may understand that as well?” He asked Josephine.

 

“I can easily bring them together,” The Antivan nodded.

 

Honestly, neither of us could offer more, could they? It now had to be a matter of trusting the other side would do their side of the bargain. “I cannot fight. It's not common as a civilian to do so. I do not know your lore or history or myths, your culture or even the state of your technology. I don’t know your laws and rules and regulations or etiquette. Potentially, this is the only language I can speak here, unless you know Mandarin or German.”

 

“I can get a tutor in for you, no payment required as we realise the Inquisition must look its best to attract attention,” Josephine nodded, glad to see progress. “I am sure the Commander can spare time to personally teach the only one who can close the rifts?”

 

A nod. “I will do so. I am Cullen, Commander of the forces here.”

 

“A pleasure to meet you.” I eyed him, once again with his hand on the hilt, indeed out of habit and my lips twitched as he took it off instantly. “Then, I will work hard and be part of the Inquisition.”

 

“And I am Leliana.”

 

“A pleasure to meet you too.” Though I note she didn’t tell me what she did.

 

“We should introduce you to the people.” Leliana smiled at me, an odd tension in the air now.

 

I sensed something and eye her. “Sure…?”

 

The four led the way out of my temporary cabin and people, having been lingering outside when seeing the four important people go forth to the cabin, looked up. I was stood in the middle between Cullen and Josephine while the left and right hands took their Chantry given positions. I peered around as Cassandra spoke up, “We have formally started the Inquisition! We aim to close the Breach, find who did it, and take them down!” She finished shortly. “And we have the Herald of Andraste by our side with her mark, fighting for our side!”

 

The crowd cheered, but I had a frozen grin on my face. I turned my face slightly and muttered to Josephine through a crack in my lips. “Josephine, hey, Josephine. Who the hell is Andraste?”

 

Cullen coughed into his hand, hiding a smirk.

 

Josephine tried to hide the giggles but had to pretend to cough as she let them out with the crowd cheering and said nothing.

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

  

I didn’t see anyone until the next day, with Cullen having gone by his word, taking me to stalls and actually going into depth about good textiles and foods here and promising to take me to the blacksmith the next day because there was much training of new recruits to do. He would train me at the end of the day, stating he’d find me, so until then, I didn’t have much to do. Josephine caught me a good twenty minutes later talking to some kids about biology and took me to her little room in the Chantry filled with papers, only to take on some DuRellion guy whose wife apparently owned Haven. I was sufficiently impressed.

 

“Niiiice.” I praised with an appreciative nod, making her lips pull up even if she didn’t wish to, complimented. “Is the Nevarran thing true?”

 

“Yes, but it has not been taken seriously since the last age.”

 

I cock my head. “Age?”

 

“You do not go in ages? It is how we write our time.”

 

“Your calendar then? Oh, we follow the Gregorian calendar in my country. So the current year is two-thousand and seventeen. Though in other countries further east they’re in their two thousand five hundreds and four thousand seven hundreds. Generally though, we all have twelve months and three hundred and sixty five days a year. And a quarter to the precise ones. Hence we have a leap year with an extra day in the shortest month.” I do wonder why February is so short. March has thirty one, why not give a day over to it?

 

“Fascinating! I wonder if people across the seas on this planet have different calendars? Let me get a map.” She bustled about, finding one a moment later in her desk. “Here.”

 

I lean forward, intrigued. “So this is what this, uh, continent looks like?” Josephine nodded telling me it was Thedas. “Have you not attained the technology yet to make ships that can sail great distances? I think galleons are the best known ones in my world about four centuries ago when it came to overseas trade. Had… four masts? About eight hundred tonnes.”

 

“Impressive! No, we do not. Though it is said the qunari came from abroad.”

 

“Qunari?”

 

“You have not seen qunari before?”

 

“Only humans are in my world. I didn’t even know that servant I was talking to was considered an elf. I saw enough people on the way out from Haven to the Breach with pointed ears. I thought it was just a genetic thing. Same with dwarves.” That, and I didn’t want to make sweeping generalizations that, in a world of magic seeing short people or pointy eared people, it meant dwarves and elves. “It’s interesting to have other people though. More culture to find out about.”

 

“I am glad for this. There are many in this world that do not care for them, mostly humans to other species.”

 

“The other species are considered lesser?” I ask, frowning when she nodded with a sad sigh. “The servants all get paid the same here yes? Their money isn’t being skimmed from to line human pockets?”

 

“They get the same, though it will be something to look out for, just in case.” Josephine made a note on her joyful little candle-notepad and began to talk more of the world I was in. I offered to help with some things here, like looking through contracts, but then it turned into Josephine teaching me to read their language. Having nothing else to do, my mind locked onto finally doing something that wasn’t running like hell or fighting for my life. I liked doing things that challenged my mind and doing things in groups with people just as eager. I smile to myself as I leave the Chapel, deciding on going to the tavern for a drink to try what they had, coin in my hand from Josephine from the two rifts closing.

 

And then I see Solas.

 

Ugh.

 

Our eyes link, and I had to fight the initial dislike in me at seeing him. I’d wanted to go home and he’d had a good hand in stopping it. I wasn’t feeling very kind. However, I’d had manners worked into me and I smiled politely and nodded, intending on going about with my day, maybe grab my bag and study for a little bit after the tavern trip, but he stepped forward to me.

 

Damn.

 

Though it did come to me he was an elf now. And surprisingly built for an elf too, if what other elf males I’d seen were to judge by. I’d not actually thought of him that way until now, knowing what I know. I wonder why that is? It's not even me thinking of his potential attractiveness, his dismissal of me and talking for me sure as hell was a turn off, but he was certainly, well,  _more_ than any other elf male here.

 

Elf.

 

How strange to think it _real_.

 

“The Chosen of Andraste. A blessed hero to save us all.”

 

I initially snort before looking around warily and then leaning forward and whispering, “Who is Andraste? They keep saying his name?”

 

Solas chuckled, but didn’t look too amused to be honest. “Andraste is a woman, the bride of the Maker.” He eyed me watchfully, face and slight smile relaxed but eyes never turning elsewhere.

 

“And the Maker is… one of those Gods for a religion with a single deity?” He nodded making me lean back and go, “Ah, I see. Lots of old societies have multiple deities in my world, though the later religions come with one. Is it the same here?”

 

“Indeed so. What types of religions were there in yours?”

 

“Old or new? I’m quite good with myths so I know more of the old, if you’d like? Yeah?” I ask, grinning when he nodded. “Oh, deities are my favourite stories! Okay, so the main ones most I know would be Greek, Norse, and Egyptian because they’re the ones most people know of, but I’m pretty good with Hindu, Sumerian and Chinese. Or perhaps a specific types of deity?”

 

His head cocked. “Do you have the trickster type?” There was something in his voice as if he couldn’t help but ask it.

 

I smile widely at that. “Do we ever!” I laugh. “Usually they’re shapeshifters, interestingly enough. Monkey specifically in Chinese mythology, spider and rabbit in African, though others have animals accredited to them such as the wolf in Norse mythos and coyote in Native American stories. I’ve found most common to be animals of litheness, able to slink away. Usually the, uh, _shakers_ of social convention, I’d say, willing to break rules and morals of the time and never really on either side. Mostly male as well.”

 

There was a quiet thoughtfulness in his smile at that. “Would you share a story of each?”

 

“Sure!” I did so, because these were much loved stories during my life. I want to share them. He seems happy to listen, questioning from time to time, but seeming content to pay attention to me. We’d since migrated to the wall next to his cabin, with me sitting on it and him leaning against it with one elbow on it that held up his chin while the other was crossed along his chest to hold his bicep as he watched me. “Hey, tell me about some gods here, Solas!”

 

“I shall. It is surprising that you are not religious,” Solas noted curiously.

 

I wave that away. “They’re just stories. If there was a Zeus father of Greek Gods or an Inanna, goddess of joy, sex and war, they’re likely just people treated with extreme reverence. Historical figures turned to myth. Known for acts specific to their role in godhood. Either way, if they are gods they’re not here or clearly don’t give a damn about me hopping worlds.”

 

He smiled at me. “You tell their stories well and enthusiastically, they are fools not to care. I shall tell you of Elgar’nan and his birth as the sun touched the earth…” He went into the story, with me watching avidly as he painted the story far better than I could my own, using such a wide vocabulary I couldn’t help but see everything in my minds eyes.

 

He finished, and I couldn’t help but clap. “Bravo! Excellent story telling skills! Careful, you may put our resident author out of a job!” The hedge mage chuckled at that. Feeling a bit better about the guy, I pat his forearm. “You’re not as bad as I thought, So’.” I slunk down and saw Nina, ignoring Solas’s frown at being thought of in such a way. “Hey, girl!” I wave at her.

 

She flushed prettily and came over, nervous. “Lady Lani.”

 

“Ah, don’t give me that…” I look around and then see her terrified look. “Er. Uhm. Well. Maybe only in public?” I wave it off. “Never mind that, you hungry?”

 

She perked up at that. “Yes! Shall we eat together? I can get the food?”

 

“And I’ll think on what to teach you over it. Meet me at mine asap?”

 

Nina brightened up and nodded. “Yes, my lady!” She bustled off.

 

I turn to Solas. “Speak tomorrow? You can tell me more stories of gods, too?” I ask hopefully.

 

He nodded, but didn’t say much else, preoccupied with something and frowning a little. “Have a good evening, Miss… Lani, was it?”

 

I nod with a grin. “Catch you later!”

 

Solas smiled after me, a little bemused and a little charmed.

 

Just how I liked to leave ‘em.

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will have frequent updates until I run out of what I've written. Probs every couple days when I do an extra editing and trying to find and clean up all typos (but likely ultimately failing ha). It was meant to help me get over writers block for Draconology, so you may see some similarities (such as Chinese background and language, etc.) because I was trying to get back into my fic when I'd only written about 30 chapters and wanted to finish it but couldn't find the words or ideas to get from A-B to complete at least it's skeleton.
> 
> Anyway, this is just a fic for my own enjoyment, but hopefully you enjoy it too :).


	4. Contact

 

**Chapter Four**

 

 

 

I was looking in intrigue at the quill in my hand as I walk to my given cabin.

 

“You look rather taken by the quill, Miss Lani.”

 

Solas.

 

I smile up at him for his quip. “It’s a _quill._ ”

 

“Indeed.”

 

I laugh lightly at that slightly patronising on purpose tone, shaking my head. I held it up. “I’ve not held one before yesterday. It’s novel to me.”

 

That caught his attention. “Oh? What did you use previously?”

 

I perk up. “Pens. The closest to a quill would be a fountain pen. Come, come!” I walk backwards and beckon him with a hand and a brighter smile. “Let me show you!”

 

Probably having nothing better to do at that moment in time, he did so. I turn, slowing to have him by my side and guide him to my cabin, talking of the technology for a minute and very much a hands speaker which must have amused him about, considering the raised brow. Getting to my little cabin and leaving the door open for him to come in, I ignore that he hesitated for a moment, looking back but then coming in. “You do not worry about rumours?”

 

“As if there aren’t dozens already. Why, do you?” I ask curiously, opening my bag on the table and taking out my pencil case and notebook, putting the notebook on the table and then putting the bag on the floor with care.

 

He gently replied as he came up to me, “We are of different species, genders, and places in society.”

 

Sounds like a test. “You’re the guy that kept me alive, ‘they’ can keep their opinions. We know the truth is different. Anyway, stuff like this scenario happens all the time and I’ll leave the others that want to uphold the Andraste image to do so.” I open the pencil case, taking out a couple different kinds and holding them out for him. “Here, check ‘em out.”

 

The man took them softly, curiously examining them with intent blue eyes. He turned them this way and that, taking in every line and bump, fascinated.

 

I grinned while watching him, leaning against the table and lightly threading fingers over my lap.

 

“You look rather fascinated by the pen, Mister Solas.”

 

A chuckle left him at my tease. “It’s a _pen._ ”

 

“Indubitably.” Another chuckle and he raises his gaze to me, so in return I offer my hand to the notebook. “Want to try it out?”

 

“I would like to, yes.”

 

In mere seconds he is sat in the proffered chair as I sit next to him on the edge on the bed, elbows on table and chin in hands. I watch him write something in sleek lines that had a bit of flair to them in my notepad, with him commenting on the thin sheets of paper. One by one he tried the different writing implements, with me explaining how one was cheaper than the others and could be easily bought in bulk, usually for companies or schools or such things, or you could get more comfortable ones singularly or in packs of two or three, that there were multiple colours and so on and so forth. He quite liked the thought behind the highlighters, and ruefully about the ease of writing without using the ink pot constantly when he automatically went to top the tool up and I couldn’t help but chortle.

 

“So what did you write?”

 

“We’ve different scripts, I take it? I wrote about the tale you told me of Arachne the talented weaver.”

 

“What, really?” I look at the words, so few. “In such short sentences? How efficie-Liar!” I say loudly as I understand, smacking the table, causing a mirthful laugh to jolt from him. I scrunch my nose at him but look down with a smile. “Hey these are different languages, right? Which is which?”

 

He pointed to the first in black, and informed, “Trade, and Elvhen.” He tapped the next in red. “You spoke of another language you know?”

 

“Mhm. Here.” I pluck up a pen and began to write in English. “I know this as English, but you also use these characters for German. I lived in England for most of my life, but my adoptive parents were Chinese,” I say, changing the script to the completely different Chinese characters and look up when he leans in, captivated. “Uh, Solas?”

 

“It is so akin to glyphs I’m taken aback. That you use such in sentence structure is quite something to see.”

 

I didn’t quite know why, but I was glad he was positive to it. “Glad you like it. Say, while you’re here, mind tutoring me a little in Trade writing?”

 

He smiled at me, pleased to teach it seemed. “Of course, I would be happy to. I rarely get the chance.”

 

“Great! Ooh, also, can you teach me some Elvhen? I have Nina teaching me some basics like Ma Serannas-”

 

Solas interrupted, “Ma Serannas has no distinct syllables in it that are emphasised-” I give him a grin and raise my eyebrows, “Ah, I see. Yes, why not?” He seemed to ask himself, ears twitching up as I straighten up, pleased.

 

The lesson lasted for a couple hours until a knock on the door happened and I called out, “Come in!”

 

Cullen was there, and his brow furrowed a little at the sight of us alone together. “I apologize if I’m interrupting something private?”

 

What the heck? Why would he insinuate… whatever. I throw it back, “Well, it is kinda flustering I don’t know trade alphabet. But, other world, other ways. Can’t be helped.” I grin, letting that sink in. “Lesson time, Commander?”

 

That makes a smile settle on his lips. “Lesson time. I shall wait for you in the Chantry chapel.” Another little furrow at taking us in and he seemingly reluctantly left with a nod.

 

I hum in understanding. “So that’s what you meant by the gender, species comment thing. Wow, weird.”

 

“Is it so different back in your world?” Solas inquires, watching me.

 

“The gender thing? Because we’re alone, yes. But what world with two sexes wouldn’t it be? I do wonder about worlds with potentials for many sexes, that could be fun. I have wondered if we’d be looked down upon just because one sex can _only_ donate DNA or one can _only_ merge and create within themselves. Seems like we’d be thought of as lesser beings for it, you know? I mean, imagine having three or four! The entire concept of gender roles and issue with that would go out the window. So many problems would be solved, though of course new ones would arise.” There was a peculiar look on his face at the thought, likely having never thought of it before as he stared at me. Understandable. “The species thing? There’re only humans in my world. Congrats on being the first elf I’ve ever met,” I joke, getting up. Then I pause and pluck up the pen he liked most and hand it to him. “Here, as a delegation, because technically this would be some sort of First Contact scenario between aliens in my world. I guess I represent my people, so, yes. From one of the people of Earth to one of the People of Thedas, we hope to create new bonds of friendship.”

 

Solas stares at me with an expression I can’t quite understand, slowly wrapping his fingers around the pen. “I find I cannot think of anything of equal value to give you that I may own.”

 

I hold a finger up, grinning at him as I put free hand to hip. “Cultural exchanges are always welcome! Please teach me well!”

 

There was a focus in his eyes, weighing me up but nodding with a, “I shall do so.”

 

He seemed approving so I smile. “I’m ever ready to learn! Toodles, Sol’!” I wink and leave.

 

I left him with that bemused and charmed look once again.

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

  

 

Honestly, three weeks of daily training really wasn’t much when compared to fighting in the Hinterlands with Mages and Templars trying to kill each other off.

 

The first day out there I’d killed my first non-Fade person, some Templar woman.

 

A swift bolt of Fade to the face and she was down for the count, head gone and body taking a couple seconds to drop. I’d stilled for a second before logic caught my mind to think of it as merely a corpse – _I’d seen those, had been to an autopsy, had been to a body museum, had floating biological specimens of all parts of the body in my university, I could deal damnit_ – and simply went on with fighting for the groups’ survival. Ignore it was the name of the game and worked a treat. It was surprisingly easy to get past for me, all the chunder and gore.

 

Not as easy as getting past killing in the Fade. That had been for life or death more than this felt, people surrounding me to keep the marked one alive. But it also felt easier in the Fade, almost dream-like, to simply do away with her, like anything was possible if your will was sharp and strong.

 

Here I could smell the metallic flavour of blood, and taste it on my tongue.

 

Varric had gotten it out of me why I’d been down and understood, asking if I wanted to speak about it and usually, I wasn’t the person to do so. Call it composure or trying to act tough or what-have-you, but I felt like the less prone you were to fits of emotions by pushing it down, the more in control you were. It worked for me so far, whether it came to heartbreak, stress from education, or work. Logic and practicality had helped greatly because it appealed to me. How I was a mage – that of creativity and imagination and wonder, was beyond me. I was too… Templar-y. As a scientist in training, I instilled reason in the world around me to understand it. It was my go to and it kept me sane.

 

How I could even do magic was a blessing of energy.

 

Yeah. If I subscribed to deities, which _I_ heavily lean against, my deity would be energy.

 

The only reason for any of this in my opinion.

 

Could energy be created and controlled by some god or goddess?

 

Sure.

 

And if it was proved, I’d probably be an… energist? That. Whatever it is.

 

I shoved a strand of hair that had fallen from my ever-present bun that kept all my long hair back behind my ear and inwardly sigh.

 

 _'At least biology was serving me well in healing,'_   I think, looking down at my hand that swiftly heals a cut with no problem whatsoever.

 

There was quiet in the camp, scouts to one side and me and the other three of Varric, Cassandra and Solas to one side, Varric having finished charming the scouts after they found out he was some kind of well-known writer and Cassandra giving them an update. Solas had quietly stayed by my side, however, not too close and not speaking because both of us like to think in peace we found.

 

I didn’t have my bag of books or my own clothing (which Leliana had clearly been through because I order things differently in my bag though everything was there) instead in some clothing akin to Cassandra’s. It was minus the chest plate, but in a dark orange instead of purple, surprisingly Andraste’s colour. I was fine with that, though more of my clothing had lighter colours to it, like the red undershirt under Cassandra’s top and chest plate was now silver on me. There was a matching silver sash around my waist under a coat that looked exactly like Josephine’s blue one but with a high neck and large swishing sleeves that fell to my elbows and all white. My gloves and boots were brown though, which I was pleased for.

 

It all felt a little ridiculous compared to the muted colours of the rest, and I doubted how I could hide with anyone not thinking I was the main target, but it was some sort of religious thing and I didn’t want to too heavily verbally shit on it and just took it.

 

I still wondered if they were mocking me, seeing Varric choke on his laughter at the shades and Solas blink at it slowly.

 

Probably.

 

Ha.

 

Joke’s on them.

 

I love orange.

 

“Hey, So-so,” I murmur, leaning to nudge him with my shoulder. “Can we make music with our magic?”

 

“I do not believe we could not. I simply have never tried,” He admitted, a little surprised with himself it seemed. “I’ve only heard it by instrument. Or instruments playing by magic.”

 

It’s a good thing I’d heard of midi fighters and sound waves. Considering they could travel through gas, liquid or solid, the vibrations that is, experimentally, I put my magic out to reverberate with the world. It clanked horribly, enough to make us wince but then begin to tune it, turning around my hand as I try for different vibrations and frequencies and then pressed it. It did the low beat I wanted, making me smile, until I did another, apparently too close because it them clashed horridly. I grimaced and then wondered what I would have to do change it. Could I make a certain set of noises for one of my buttons? A loop? I focused on that and ignored everyone else, trying to perfect a singular loop, only for Solas to lightly touch me some time later.

 

“It is time to sleep now, Lani.”

 

I looked up, noting the pitch black night time sky. “Oh. That was quick. Cheers.”

 

“Quick? It had been three hours.”

 

“A usual study session,” I shake my head.

 

“Usual?”

 

“Yeah, my friends and I usually studied for hours after lessons. There’s a lot to learn. I should show you one of my biology books sometime,” I murmur, cracking my back as I stood and stretched up. I went to the tent but then paused, “You not getting into bed?”

 

“I was going to let you change first.”

 

“We’re sharing, huh? Alright. Gimme a few minutes.” I got in, changing out of the clothing, cursing having big boobs in this place. We were in camp, so it was best to keep sanitary well taken care of, so I actually took time to wipe in the most ‘aromatic’ of places down with spare cloth and spritzing those places on my clothes with a clean vanilla scent that wouldn’t be overbearing. I folded them, now in a loose male tunic and looser baggy pants, then peek out. “Will you be changing or cleaning?”

 

He smiled hearing the expectation in my quiet voice. “If you’ve spares.”

 

“You didn’t bring spares?” I ask, aghast at that and then tug at my tunic. “This is a male tunic if you want to borrow it because I have an extra top? I said that as a question but…”

 

Solas honestly didn’t like smelling and would be glad to change. “Ah, well. If you don’t mind.”

 

“Am I sleeping by you? Then yes, please change.” I wrangle it off me, leaving me in a spaghetti top I was fine with and give it to him. “I’ve also vanilla fragrance wash cloths to pour some water on at the top of my pack. Take one that isn’t scrunched up and to the side.”

 

He paused at my ease of taking it off and baring what is likely an undergarment akin to knickers for me. Curiousness take him, judging by his eyes, but he merely takes it and remarks, “Thank you, Lani.”

 

“Oh no no, thank you for not being stubborn!” I reply in relief and gesture with both hands to the tent. “Please.”

 

He chuckled and bowed to me a little before going in.

 

I simply went back to music making, a silence barrier around me as I played loud music to myself, trying to recreate popular songs I knew. Florence and the Machine was coming along nicely. It was fun to try and place my ‘buttons’ from each other, and I reluctantly looked away from them to see the ever watchful Solas when I heard him come out. He always seemed bewildered by me for some reason. I smile. “Sleep time?”

 

“Indeed.”

 

I grin and then join him inside, finding I had the left, which would make it a little awkward as I fell asleep best on the left and would be facing him, though I did eventually turn on my back and face upwards during sleep. I went into the blanket, rolled over to cover myself fully, nuzzled into my pillow with a happy sigh and closed my eyes. It was seconds later I opened them, looking at Solas because I could damn well feel his eyes on me. “Yes? What is it?”

 

“You sleep, just like that?”

 

“You… don’t?”

 

“I can, you merely fascinate me.”

 

I chuckled and closed my eyes. “A man saying that, in bed with me, late at night, wearing my clothing and favoured scent? I’d think you were coming onto me here, Solas,” I teased lightly.

 

“Another time perhaps.”

 

I couldn’t help the grin on my face, but still kept my eyes closed, because opening them to see him would make me flush completely red instead of the tinge going on in my cheeks now. “Hm, might have to hold you to that. Or you to me. That could be good too.”

 

His words were suddenly by my ears, “Whenever you wish.”

 

I snapped my eyes open with a yip at the sudden closeness, body lighting up with hormones as magic pulsed around my body in excitement. Because damn it’d been a while and I’d warmed up to him over the weeks I’d been around him. And then it happened.

 

My magic rumbled through me in a _purr_.

 

A fucking purr!

 

I choked, slapping hands to mouth and staring up at Solas above me on all fours, the pair of us looking shocked. It died pretty quickly as the heated moment went and an odd tension settle itself between us smugly. “I’ve never done that before,” I admitted. “That was odd.”

 

“I apologize.” He bowed his head and shifted away.

 

“We were just playing. It’s cool. I mean, it is fine.”

 

“It was not to you.”

 

I was confused. “Why would I fake attraction? It would just be some fun if it did happen.”

 

He said nothing for a moment, watching me with an odd intensity. “You have an open heart.”

 

I paused, confusion on my face. Was he insinuating that was stupid to do? Sure, I’d been heartbroken before, had been engaged to a man before having it broken off because he couldn’t imagine lifelong marriage and had tried for my sake. Of course the fucker was married the next year. Way of it, wasn’t it? It didn’t mean I hated men or anything, and I didn’t keep my heart closed. I bounced back surprisingly quickly. Quick to love, quick to fall out of love, me. I’d dated plenty since that time two years ago. “I keep it that way. It’s not a reflection on me if it gets broken. Yes, I know.” I say at his cock of the head. “Why chance it? I just do.”

 

“It is quite a young thing to do.”

 

“Aww, I’m young at heart! Thanks, gorgeous.” I wink.

 

He chuckled, the odd moment of tension broken and he lay down. “Goodnight.”

 

“Night-night, and try not to seduce me again. I know, I know. Difficult.”

 

Another chuckle, a, “Quite so,” and silence.

 

I fell asleep easily.

 

  

* * *

  

 

* * *

 

 

 

Naturally I woke up in his arms.

 

I shifted, stilled and cursed, making the body under me shudder in silent laughter. I look up, cheek feeling his heartbeat and regardless of how surprisingly comfy he was I say, “This never happened, Solas.”

 

He smirked at me, the hand of the arm I’d laid my head on twiddling with my hair. “As you say.”

 

I scoff and shuffled back to my roll, feeling the coldness. “I attach to sources of heat so no wonder I did that. Good thing it wasn’t Cassandra or Varric. I’d probably have a sword run through me in Cassandra’s case, and I’d probably asphyxiate Varric with my bosom.” I laugh at the thought of the dwarf, red-faced and wondering if he should accept his fate or not. “What a way to go. Anyway, I’ll grab us food if you want to change first?”

 

Solas shook his head, an oddly firm look on his face. “I shall get us something to eat while you change.” He left before I could say anything and I pursed my lips. There it was again, that ‘ _I’m taking charge, I’m in control’_ attitude I wasn’t too fond of. It happened with him speaking over me now and again, as if he was used to commanding. Perhaps to him it was normal to do so, to look after women or something? Or to be in a position of command? I wash as much as I could with limited space and utilities and dressed swiftly, repacking my bag and putting on boots, nodding when he came back in with two bowls and took one, holding the tent door flap open for him, getting a thankful smile in return.

 

Food!

 

Some battles could be saved for later.

 

Either way, I was getting to know this one rather well.

 

Sometime later we set out to the Crossroads, where Mother Giselle spoke to me of the clerics denouncing me for taking on this Herald title. I merely smiled at that, amused, but nodded. “Any help you can offer to the Inquisition will be most appreciated, Mother. I feel like the people of Haven will need someone like you to set their minds at ease. There’s more to closing rifts in a battle against the one who opened them, after all. Healers like you will be needed rather than the ones like me.” Plus it would get people off my back about being more for Andrastrianism if someone else could be asked about that stuff.

 

“You are a magical healer?”

 

“Yes. As is my friend there.” I nod at Solas, who was helping the ones away from the outside ward next to me. His ears twitched, listening. I found that so damn cute. Though to me, Solas was a mix bag of handsome and unattractive. In some ways his face was too long, so oddly proportioned and that cleft in his chin I’d never been a fan of… but in others his jawline was incredible, his lips delectable and eyes… just so darn sensual. I shake myself away from that type of thought. Still a bit of a dickhead, though. “Do you need me to help here? I feel rather full up on magic.” And I’d healed myself a few times since the first when Cassandra threw me down.

 

I could do this stuff.

 

I pause at the thought and look away.

 

Yeah. Sure. Why not?

 

“That would be wonderful.”

 

I nod, turning to one next to me waiting to be seen on his side. Arrow wound to the shoulder. Luckily straight through to the other side and with a small slash of Fade energy, the head of the arrow was cut off. I hoped I was doing the right thing, numbing the area first so he felt no pain there, taking it out and tossing it away in one easy movement. My hand went over the copiously bleeding wound, concentrating on the veins and arteries I knew around that area, expelling the bits of splinters from the wooden shaft. I then began to have the blood vessels regenerate, then the muscles, and layers of skin and felt a little overheated from such magic chugging through me. It, actually all worked. Well, I mean, yes, if I could heal myself with ease, another body with the exact same functions would be just as easy.

 

The one after that had a huge infected cut running along her side that was easy to deal with and she repeatedly kissed my hand and spoke of her loyalty to the Inquisition loudly.

 

I swiftly went away to the next, flushed and a bit mortified at such behaviour.

 

Two more had sliced wounds, another eight had infections and the next dozen or so had magical burns and lacerations.

 

The next woman actually had a stump of her foot gone, leaving her with only a half a big toe. Knowing this would be hard and not allowing myself to know if it was impossible, I set to work, knowing this woman had likely been left to die, blood so very depleted. I pursed my lips, thinking of all I knew of the foot and glad for having so much magic. I took in her foot, magically numbing it at the ankle as someone tried to coax me away, some robed dude. I waved him off. Twenty six bones in the foot, my guesses that she still had the two in her big toe, and all of the tarsals and half the metatarsals were there. So should most of the muscles, ligaments and tendons be there but for those in the missing part of the body.

 

I got to work, boisterous magic enthusiastically going through it and expending more than necessary from lack of control. My body was tired by the time I’d regrown all of that, sweating by the time I’d filled out the blood vessels, and I had to push forward to make sure the skin was covering it and toenails were regrown too, though her foot was somewhat orange for some reason. It was only tiring for the amount going through me, as there was far too much to be tired from the loss of magic. But my control might still be an issue with some things. I’d probably willed too much magic into melatonin production for it to be this colour. “Oh, uh, sorry about the orange lady,” I apologize to her, the woman having been gawking at me in awe. “But it’s a pretty shade!”

 

She still said nothing, staring.

 

“Uhm…”

 

Varric was apparently next to me, and had been chuckling. “At least it’s the foot, huh, Amber?” He said to the woman who nodded, still gawking and bypassing her new nickname entirely for the sight of her foot. “You’ve got a fan, Lani.”

 

“Clearly not in you, where’s the nickname for me?”

 

“Ah, see, I’ve been trying to think of one, but Sunshine’s already take, and I was thinking Daffodil-”

 

I scrunch up my nose. “You better bloody not.”

 

He snickered at my offence and offered me some water, which I took with a quiet thanks. “-but it doesn’t fit either. Charmer, might. But it doesn’t quite hit the nail on the head, you know?”

 

I nodded drinking from it. “It’s gotta just _fit_ , right? Like, to me? You’re Scribbles. Or That Mentally Narrating Twat Back There.”

 

He barked out a laugh and asked incredulously, “How can you people even tell?”

 

“Just a feel we get from you. That or, like a toddler, when you’re quiet _we know somethings afoot._ ”

 

The dwarf loved that, grinning at me gleefully until a robed woman came over to us anxiously.

 

“More healing?” I offer up.

 

“Indeed. Please Herald…”

 

I nod, ignoring the exhaustion in my body, but knowing I had to get used to this. Again, I wasn’t magically drained. It was my body that wasn’t used to it. My body needed a different type of stamina, and I was enjoying the workout of it that was so different to hiking through the Hinterlands. “Of course.” That happy lack of magic drain meant I was able to go through ten other people in the next hour before I had to stop, wobbling and sitting down, done for the moment even though my magic seemed to regenerate faster than I could expend it. That could be a problem. How was I to learn control when a sea full of magic loved to slam around in me? Seriously, I’d felt the magic of another mage and wow, the difference was immense, _intensely_ so. Not only did I have more, it was super concentrated, likely from drinking pure Fade.

 

Earlier, because of that thought, I’d tried to swiftly regrow a pinkie finger on a guy, but the magic scorched him enough I had to have him knocked out. I wasn’t exactly sure why it did, but I knew not to do it again. He was still out even now. It was food for thought. Maybe my mind was simply yet to determine how to swiftly reconnect it all. I’d work on it. It would be very useful to know how to do if, say, my own hand got lobbed off. Perish the thought, but so, so useful to know and have relief in the thought I could do it if it ever happen. Yes, I’d learn.

 

Solas came over to me, crouching down. “You are drained?” He seemed to have that parental knowing about it, as if expecting it from me with an _I told you so_ feel to it.

 

Dickhead.

 

_This is what I’m saying!_

 

I’ve no idea if I should like him or not.

 

“Absolutely knackered, So’.”

 

“You should not have healed so much nor so quickly in one case.”

 

“Had to try.” I felt bad, but scientist me had taken over when it came to medical stuff. I couldn’t help but experiment. Plus there was so much else I wanted to try. I had regrown and stopped infection, but could I _make_ infections happen? With all the knowledge I had on bacteria and more, could I flip it around, speed up colonization? Create it? Hide it? What about more than just bacteria? Poisons? Toxins? Youthful regeneration? I could grow back limbs, blood vessels, muscles – could I make my own animals? “Have to know my limits.”

 

“Do you now have better grasp on them?”

 

“Sure do.” That there didn’t seem to be any but for bodily stamina.

 

“Perhaps it best we should return to camp so you may regenerate your magic? We cannot let the marked one be harmed.”

 

The unease that rushed through me at that overwhelmed me for a moment, and I had to look away, grimacing.

 

_The marked one._

 

I was an asset to him and the others, that’s all.

 

Just a body for the mark.

 

Was it just me he saw as a chess piece?

 

I couldn’t decide if I liked him or not. One time he’d be great, we’d be fine and have a laugh and get along like two peas in a pod – with even him looking surprised at how well we got along - and then suddenly something unusual happens and I just find myself a little edgy around him. I mean, was that _cannot let the marked one be harmed_ sarcasm or a joke I’m not picking up or what? He threw me off. “I wonder, how are your levels?”

 

There was a smile on his lips that pissed me off. Something about it screamed he pitied me… “They will suffice to protect us. Shall we?”

 

But…

 

I sigh, unsure.

 

Never one to give much away, Solas. Maybe he just needed some time? I stood up, noticing Cassandra come back with Varric. “Seeker. How’d the talk with the Corporal go?”

 

“Not good,” Cassandra admitted. “The people need much to help them through this trying time. With Templars and Mages fighting all over the Hinterlands and multiple rifts spewing demons, not many wish to venture out any further.”

 

“How else do they expect to get food if they don’t chance it?” I ask.

 

“Not all of us are lucky enough to be mages or skilled in weapons,” The Seeker responded, tartly.

 

“But they could be smart enough to ask if there were any hunters around to create a group to go out or… or find there’s an Inquisition.” I ended up at, sighing and leaning on my staff. “And helping out means a grateful area close to home base so less envy our way and more willingness to look after their benefactors and better reputation and word of mouth and likely better prices at stalls and more interest and - _god-damnit fine_.”

 

“Been around the Ambassador lately?”

 

“Several hours daily and learning diplomacy via diffusion. Not that it takes a great leap of logic.” I rub my eyes with thumb and index finger.

 

“Diffusion?”

 

“A movement of gas or solute molecules going from a place of high concentration to low concentration until equal.” A moment of quiet and I peeped at them staring back at me with differing levels of amusement or exasperation. “Right. Different science levels. But just that I’d been around her, sooo…” I trail off and look away as they stare at me still. “It’s hard to not talk science, alright? Just ignore it. You get what I’m on about. Can we go to camp and get groups to go get meat from the lands for these people?”

 

“Of course.” Cassandra began to lead the way, hand on sword. “It is merely surprising to us that a mage learns other things than magic.”

 

I shrug at that. “Oh, I didn’t have magic until I got here. I was a biology student at a university in my home town.”

 

“Wait, wait, wait, you got magic just a month ago?” Varric asked in disbelief.

 

“Uh, well yes, of course I didn’t have magic. _No one_ in my world has magic. Hence why I know it’s your worlds' fault I’m here. Why?”

 

“That should not be possible!” Cassandra exclaimed, glossing over my accusation.

 

“It is, though?” I say, confused.

 

Varric was next. “But those people you just healed?!”

 

“What about ‘em?”

 

“That takes years to get to!”

 

“Poppycock. How’d I learn it so easily then?”

 

“Well I should know; one of my closest friends was a healer for years and he performed such feats nearer the end of it. Heck, to understand the body- wait, biology student? So you’d understand it?”

 

I shrugged and nodded. “Well, considering the level of tech around here? Likely better than every single person on Thedas, yes. Still, my control is pretty bad, hence why that woman has an orange foot now. My magic saturated her melanin too much. Melanin is the polymer responsible for skin, hair and eye colour. And a polymer is a macromolecule. And I can just go on because I don’t know if you know these words and phrases. Do you know if any healers or biologists at university that would know these things?”

 

“The only university that potentially would is the one in Val Royeaux, experimenter.”

 

I perked up. “Great! We need to go there then.” I quickly informed them of what Mother Giselle told me. “Think about it! I learn so called _better_ healing from the University of Val Royeaux, the Inquisition could spread me as this bastion of healing and oh look how wondrous our healing Herald of Andraste is blah blah blah, so selfless like her fore-bearer blah blah blah which attracts more attention to our cause, and we get better links with the university and potentially the capital of Orlais because of it. Optimistic, granted, but the potential is there, right? Josie would know, wouldn’t she? She was once the Antiva to Orlais ambassador, yes?”

 

“Well, yes, but it is not so simple,” Cassandra said, a little overwhelmed by my thinking.

 

“Yes I know, I’m trying to run before I could walk. It’ll take time. There’s always a giant problem somewhere. But it can happen, yes?”

 

The Seeker was clearly exasperated at my pushing. “Well yes, but-”

 

“Who’s to say it couldn’t happen, Seeker? The Orlesian’s get to think of how great they are to bestow help upon the poor little dogs lords, and we get the benefits,” Varric added on.

 

Cassandra reluctantly said, “The Orlesian’s indeed do think of themselves as the best in Thedas.”

 

I inwardly fume at not being believed, as if my ideas and opinions were ridiculous and to be ignored yet if someone else from here says it… My jaw twitches as I clench it.

 

“Isn’t it going to be great to one up them? If experimenter here is as good as she says-” I scoff at this point, “-Then it’s worth a try.”

 

“We could also use propaganda to gather more to the cause, send out specialised and trained people to circulate rumours,” I tap my staff a couple times as we climb up the hill to the camp. “Some publicity stunts in the right places.”

 

Varric eyed me for a second. “You done this before or something, Lani? Huh,” He went as I shook my head, curiously watching me.

 

“I just read books.”

 

“Some books they must be.”

 

“History books. Scribbles, my good man, I just come from a world where information is much more readily available. I didn’t show you my books, did I?” I muse. “You’ll see back at base.”

 

I notice Solas did not say anything, simply staring at me. I could feel it in the back of my head, and it only made me leery of him.

 

Moral, kind and intelligent, but just a little bit off.

 

Why did it seem like I was the only one to be a little wary of the guy?

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fine line between wonderin' if Solas is attractive or someone to look out for is a hard one to walk. Or something.


	5. Butting Heads

 

 

**Chapter Five**

 

 

We were in the Hinterlands for another few weeks, groups going out to hunt food, bringing back animals like goats and fennec foxes to breed them so they could have their meat. There were other groups going out and helping with chopping wood to rebuild homes. Personally, our little group went around closing rifts, helping set up camps and getting a good bunch of Mages and Templars to Haven; though more Mages than Templars, who seemed far too jumpy at the slightest bit of magic. Less fighting and demons meant more opportunity for the people of the Hinterlands to actually go do things for themselves, and the Inquisition could help with actual scouting instead of just guarding from desperate Mages and Templars trying to loot for survival.

 

More people had been pouring in, most of them refugees. I got extensive experience in healing whenever we stopped in the Crossroads, which did help with growing my stamina on having magic go through me for longer amounts of time and able to heal faster than ever though my control was shoddy as always. Seemed like I’d never gain much control over it. I wondered if the mark interfered with my precision in usage of magic and that made me realise I had this… _mutualistic symbiosis_ thing with it. Mutualistic symbiosis was where two organisms benefits from the relationship so I felt safe on eventually deciding it was this. Not so much amensalism, where one is harmed and the other is unaffected. Antibiosis could be from the mark to me considering it was a small thing latching onto a bigger thing but, I gained from it so it wasn't that. Nor was it parasitism or commensalism, where one benefits while harming the other and not harming the other did respectively.

 

But that was just me trying to pin the mark down so I could understand it better. That it wasn’t mine and latched onto me because I did something to get it was forefront in my head. I needed to look at it, figure out if any of the mages I knew in Haven were any good at glyphs and helping me decipher this thing on me. Maybe we could do a down-low experiment on making more versions of the mark?

 

If only I could bloody remember how I got this thing.

 

I stared at the fire as I thought, not blinking, zoning out. How would I have got it? Because looking at it, it seemed to have seared into me. I stretched my palm out and looked at it flaring back at me mesmerizingly. It was like looking at a mini rift, but there was runes all over it, reminding me of those green Matrix-like ‘0’s and 1’s’ on a black background. Not entirely sure how glyphs work, considering I’d not learnt a single one, but the sides seemed to stretch out quite neatly. So I must have… touched something. I think. Something in the Fade maybe? Why could I remember being in the Fade and killing that crazed woman and taking her magic and drinking the Fade? Which, oh great, she’s pissing me off from beyond the grave by messing up my control from too much magic, isn’t she? Why could I then also recall running from spiders and having the Divine help me out? How does specific memory loss even happen?

 

Does it even happen? It's just... nothing. Not even trauma flashes like I expected. No nightmares of it. So something had to have done something to me. But considering I can't even remember, there's no point really trying to pull the invisible threads over that rip in the tapestry of the mind.

 

So, something else; why could I even take in magic?

 

I should be dead.

 

I shouldn’t _be_ in this world.

 

“Your food’s going cold there, experimenter.”

 

I silently pass it over to him, not in the mood to eat as I brood and try to connect dots, not looking at him.

 

He took it, but not dropping the subject and I simply hum or give non-committal answer until he did, lost in my own thoughts.

 

“We cannot afford a lack of alertness in our Herald,” Cassandra stressed.

 

“Good thing we have a Seeker then, to show us alllll the way to truth. Or the truth _she_ knows. Sod off with your Andraste business when we’re not around people who care about it, Seeker. I’m not in the mood for your preachy bullshit when I never agreed to be your Herald, only the person that closes the rifts. I let it go on because it helps us both. Anyway, I already internally scorn your specific religion, don't make it worse.”

 

She scowled my way, but I didn’t care about the tension in the slightest, looking away into the forestry around us and to the Crossroads as I continued to muse.

 

Two, nearly three months here. I still feel rather… hm, what the word for it? I see it as fake, in a way. Like it doesn’t matter what I do. This isn’t my world, what do I care for it? Terrible I know, but seriously, my first impression wasn’t exactly the greatest. Nearly hunted to death, a prisoner about to be killed off, and having to go around the place closing rifts to stop demons for a chance to get home.

 

Chances I was closing up.

 

Was I doing the right thing helping the Inquisition? But… they had the best chance of getting me back, right?

 

Right?

 

I was feeling stressed as fuck these days. Too quiet at nights, always on edge, trying to stay happy so as not to alarm or alert the others, trying not to give up hope after such a short time here. Everything was either slow as slugs or in a blast of insane activity to keep yourself alive. Frankly, the world sucked. Perhaps I’d yet to see something making me want to help it and put my all into it rather than get home.

 

Positivity! I just needed positivity!

 

I could do that.

 

But I just missed Earth _so much._

 

I didn’t sleep that night, uncaring of Solas’s eye on me as he slowly fell asleep and I didn’t.

 

The only thing I could really do and have control with was my magic, so I fell into it while here.

 

It's the only thing I have going for me. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Two weeks later and we’d befriended cults, found apostate caches and helped out many more people in this land before all of us wanted a break and we made our way back to base. It surprised me how much I actually missed Haven when we got back, wincing from travelling by horse and jumping down, flushing healing magic through me and idly putting a hand to Varric’s shoulder to do the same for him. It was good to be back in base, seeing familiar places. I felt a sense of relief for a good few minutes at the sight of it, before seeing the awed eyes of people and then the sudden loud noises of arguing from the Chapel.

 

“For fucks sake, just a day of relaxation please,” I muttered to myself, really just wanting a day of hideaway and my books. Or tea with Josie. One of the stable hand boys came over to take my horse. “Hey, lad, what’s going on over there?”

 

“T-The Mages and th-the Templars are arguing over the death of the D-Divine!”

 

“Oh, boy,” I murmured and sigh silently through my nose. “Thanks.” Noting a bruise I lean forward and easily heal it – any chance to do so and I’ll take it.

 

“M-My lady, thank you! I am undeserving!” He bowed low.

 

“That deserving is not for you to decide. Mostly other people do. It sucks, I know.” I pat his shoulder, taking my bag and throwing it on top of my staff and leaving him to it, ignoring the people I’d travelled with.

 

People passed me, clearly the fight had broken up and I was late to this party though they did stare and gawp at me and whisper to each other as they left. “Hey, Commander, how you doing? Miss me?” I asked, putting some charm on as I grin and wink, “I missed you.”

 

He chuckled, crossing his arms. “It has been less optimistic around here without you.”

 

I raised my brows and smiled warmly at him before putting a hand to my mouth and chuckling out, “Aww, that’s actually really lovely to hear. You smooth talker, you. Hey, Chancellor, how’s your time here? Hopefully many people are seeking comfort via faith from you?”

 

He seemed not to expect that but recalled himself. “Yes, they are, naturally. Marked one, this organization flouts Chantry authority! It does not help the matter of the fight between Mages and Templars!”

 

“With all due respect, _yes it does._ ” I nod in agreement with myself and make sure to have a very soft voice when I spoke up, “I have spent weeks out on the field stopping the fights between the two sects, stopping murderers on both sides and seeing the fear on both sides. It is due to people rallying around a banner, the Inquisition, wanting to help people that we have all been able to help our fellow beings out there. Good men and women were starving, scared, homeless. The Inquisition helped them. This is what it’s aiming to do.”

 

He sighed and remarked, “That is all well and good-”

 

“No.” I hold up finger and look at him sadly. “No Chancellor, Roderick. Do not diminish what people have done to save others’ lives just because you’ve not seen it. All well and good, I cannot believe how can a man of faith, who follows a religious icon who was all about helping people, can ignore that very core feature of her ideals? Did she not appeal to the Maker to forgive them, to help them once more? This here, is helping people. This doesn’t go against what the Chantry is about.”

 

Seeing me talk about the Chantry and being a little more for it seemed to calm him some. “It is true the Chantry is about that, and I have heard tales of the good you have done. We are all thankful there is a way to close the Breach, however suspicious you come across as.” I nod in acknowledgement of that, giving him some confidence. “But the Chantry must have a leader to authorise this!”

 

“Any organization should have a leader yes. I agree with that, but right now, there is so much infighting and politics regarding that, yes?”

 

“Yes.” He narrowed his eyes.

 

“And the Inquisition is helping people, yes?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“So should we still not continue to help people with the Inquisition, until a Divine, whenever elected, which could be months along in the future mind you, is elected? Would you stop people from trying to help others? Surely the Divine, who is the one to uphold the helping nature of Andraste, pure and kind of heart, would understand why we remain? To be the one to tear this goodness down, to keep the world at _peril_ , surely you see that would do no one any favours? That it would only cast _aspersions_ on the one who’d do so? I ally with the Inquisition, because I cannot close this by myself.”

 

Roderick looked a little uncomfortable at that and nodded slowly. “Yes. I… must think. Good day to you… Herald.”

 

I nodded courteously as he left, then quickly turned to Cullen, incredulous. “The heck haven’t we shoved that nob out back to Val Royeaux?” I hiss lowly.

 

Cullen laughed at that switch around of personalities and said in amusement, “It is a good judge of how they will be _in_ Val Royeaux. I must say, you handled him very well.”

 

“Just full of compliments today, aren’t you?” I joke and then went past him, nudging him when shoulder to shoulder before remarking over my shoulder, “Knew you missed me!” I blew him a kiss, laughing at his red face and the rubbing of the back of his neck. Handsome as all get out, and damn what a good feeling it was to make a guy like that go red! Feeling bubbly, I went in, going to see my favourite lady here. I knocked on the door and grinned when I opened it, with Josie squeaking at the sight of me and waving me in excitedly and hugging me tight. “Glad to have so many people excited to see me return! Really boosts my self-confidence.” I say when she finished hugging me and went to her tea set. “Oh you know how to make me happy you do.”

 

“Oh? Who were the others? Here. Sit, please. I need a break from my work.”

 

“Only one so far, Cullen. Our dear Commander, complimenting me left and right,” I joked. “So I blew him a kiss, always a decadent feeling to make a handsome guy like that blush.” I lifted my teacup in salute, about to take a sip when,

 

“ _Handsome?_ I’ll remember that.” Lips near on brushed my ear.

 

I yipped, splashing hot tea over said Commander that had spoken so closely to me. I gawped for a second before rushing to grab a serviette and dabbed at his face. “Oh hell I am _so_ sorry! Are you burnt?” I check while drying him, looking him over, but it seemed the only thing damaged was his ego for the moment. “I am so sorry!” Then he and I kind of stared at each other, abashed before grins grew on our faces and we burst into stupid snickers with Josie giggling in the background. “Because _that_ was bloody hilarious!”

 

“So handsome I get tea thrown at me apparently.”

 

“What can I say, you make my lady parts goo all wobbly like.” I wink. “Couldn’t be helped.”

 

Josephine erupted into fresh giggles as Cullen cleared his throat, fist to mouth and cheeks fire hydrant red.

 

“I had come in to say there will be a meeting in the war room about our next steps to Val Royeaux and other matters.” Cullen collected himself for now.

 

I nod, look at my mostly empty cup, shrug and knocked the rest back licking at my lips with a bit more purpose in them, as if I couldn’t get enough while staring at the cup. I could feel his eyes on me as I did so but didn’t look at him, putting the cup down on the tray. “Lovely tea. To business then?”

 

“And after, come back with me to there, and we shall talk of your adventures!” Josephine went to her notes, not looking at me as she compiled things. “And then you simply must return today to your lessons in etiquette, language…” She went on and I rolled my head to the side, wanting to cry at so much to do. I’d just come back! A chuckle to my side and I was about to make a retort, but Cullen was giving me an understanding look and a shrug to say ‘what can you do? That’s life.’ and I nodded tiredly. “Oh, and how goes your fighting and magical understanding?”

 

“Oh, well…” I talk to her as we walk to the strategy room.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

  

I rub my forehead on the towel at the end of practise, unable to wait to have that bath and sleep in my bed. I’d originally wanted a couple drinks in the tavern and then off to sleep, but sleep is not allowed when five hours of lessons and another two of self-defence is needed to be had, even if I just came back from the Hinterlands today. Back home, these would come in useful, considering I’m learning Spanish and French, and getting them for free and one on one was remarkably good luck. Home. Three months I’d not been there. ' _Wow, that’s quite the amount of time having gone by,'_   I muse to myself, drinking water from the wine bottle, having boiled and capped it myself, not wanting to drink mead all the time. Plenty of fresh snow away from the town out there. Anything in it that had adverse affects on me I simply healed with ease.

 

Cullen settled by me, and seemed to want to say something, so I looked to him curiously. “I heard from Varric you’d killed your first man out there. I wondered if it was on your mind?” He asked gently.

 

First? Christ, how many had I killed since then? That wasn’t on my mind much. But naturally I lied to keep face and cause less stress with an, “Only a little. It’s… I squashed him to a puddle with my magic. There, then suddenly just a mess of red and the stench of copper and faeces and bile. In my world there are museums of body parts in certain liquids to keep them preserved to observe them for an academic interest. I’d already seen-” I cut myself off when a look of shock went to his face. “I should not speak of it.”

 

“No, I… would like to hear of your world. You’ve _body museums?_ ”

 

He wants to hear about my world? My eyes lit up at him, as a big smile on my face emerged. He reactively smiled back, looking a bit surprised. “You want to hear of my home? Barely anyone has asked..." I shake my head and then go on enthusiastically. "There’re museums on everything across the world, Commander. From ships to cartoons to toy museums. An academic one for body parts is not unusual. Shocking, but educational.”

 

“And you’ve seen worse there?”

 

“Everything from conjoined twins, to lungs to an arm sliced open so you can observe everything inside it. Incredible stuff, if you’ve the stomach for it. There was a murder section of-" I cut myself off at his somewhat morbidly fascinated but mostly alarmed look, "-many things. It felt like that prepared me, quite the bit better.” As did seeing horrible pictures of dead people through historical war books. As did everything from film and television and comics. As has being in morgues and that particular _smell_. “I look at it from a scientific and analytic viewpoint and it helped. Worse is knowing you did it.”

 

Worse is knowing the bodies looked more like lumps of meat, and worse was the thought that it didn't mean as much as it would be if it were a person from my own world. I felt terrible for that, but it was a coping method. It could be worse. As long as I thought that, I wasn't about to go screaming off into the forest in a fit of madness from this insanity happening to me.

 

“Survivors guilt,” He said softly.

 

“I’m a student. I’ve seen dead bodies in morgues but… Now I’m thinking of it.” I felt rolling guilt and sickness go through me at my thoughts, and swallowed up the saliva that built in my mouth as bile began to rise. “I tried to shove it away? Don’t think about it. Out of sight, out of mind but-” I choked and put hand to mouth. Why was it hitting me now? “Why do I care more now?”

 

His hand settled on my shoulder, making me want to sob. “You’re home.”

 

“That’s even worse because I’m _not_. I can’t… I don’t even know if I can get home, and that’s worse for me!” I could feel the burn it my eyes and muttered, “Shit. I haven’t cried and I’m not bloody crying now!” I stupidly sobbed once and was suddenly enveloped in a hug, face in a sweaty poets shirt covered chest and then sobbed even more. “I didn’t want to…” I clung to him and cried like a baby, “Cry in front of anyone damnit!”

 

But I gripped him tighter and he simply ran a hand up and down my back, murmuring silly nothing to try and sooth me, ignoring the flashes of magic flaring from me as they were healing them.

 

“Stupidstupidstupid.”

 

“It’s not stupid, you’re just being human. It’s fine. You’re not in the wrong.” Silly nonsense like that to soothe me that eventually penetrated my mind.

 

It must have been a good ten minutes but I eventually calmed down, done and embarrassed.

 

“Lani?”

 

I shift back, looking down and away. “Thank you, I. Uhm. Just, thank you.”

 

“You are welcome, Lani.” He smiled at me, uncaring of how I looked it seemed.

 

Bless his cotton socks.

 

I stare at him, incredulous. “I’m exhausted, Cullen. How do you do it? You’re up all hours! Do you have a secret to this?” I ask, tiredly.

 

He chuckled at that, looking me over and growing concerned. “Luckily, I do not have to deal with demons on a regular basis, nor do I have to deal with culture shock and all you do. I do take time to myself and if you find yourself needing to look busy to have a reprieve, you are welcome to visit me in the room opposite Josephine’s when I need to do paperwork. I see you have lost weight.” He peered at me critically, syrupy brown eyes regarding me with concern.

 

“Oh. At first the food didn’t really agree with me, but lately I’ve not found myself in the mood to eat.”

 

“You must keep up your strength,” The Commander said in concern. “Of all people, we cannot have you- Maker that sounds like I care only for your health due to the mark. It is not so, at least not now,” He admitted, he rubbed the back of his neck, wincing a little.

 

I felt a little annoyed at first, but then nodded in acceptance. It wasn’t as though I wouldn’t have been the same if the tables were turned. I had been callous towards their dooming sky problem, but it was for good reason I was like that. Same would be for him. “Thank you for the offer. I sometimes do so with Josephine, the people staring is… discomforting to say the least. I’m an other-worlder who doesn’t even believe in that god because hey, never heard of him until three months ago.”

 

“Not even of ones from your own?”

 

He seemed very intent on wanting to know this, eyes bearing into me. I wondered if he thought I had some better knowledge. “No, there’s been so many pantheons over the thousands of years with no evidence to any of them being real. I am a scientist, I believe there’s a reason for everything, but heck, if that means it ends up a deity of some kind was behind it and there is very clear evidence for it, I’d accept it. But then it means so many of them have turned their backs on us over the many thousands of years humans have been around in my world, Cullen, and I’m not sure I’d want to worship gods like that. I prefer to believe in people. They seem more reasonable.”

 

“Perhaps only because of the lack of godly abilities.”

 

I laughed and looked down, kicking the ground with the point of my boot. “Yes, but people manage a way to gain their own power akin to a god all the time, though I completely understand what you mean. If a person gains amazing powers, the temptation would be very real to do whatever they wanted. Still, I would hope in the case of Gods, they would have more care. Thousands of years is a long time not to look at your created people. I mean, I know my mum was nosy as hell.”

 

Cullen laughed at that. “If it were the Maker was a woman! There would be more care in the world!”

 

It startled a laugh out of me, surprised he would say that. “Hey, don’t say that! You males just gotta learn to show more caring. I believe in you lot.” I wink, playful, and making him chuckle. Seriously, making an attractive guy smile was _amazing_. Still, I felt stinky and naff. “I’m probably a mess, so I’m going to wash and collapse into bed."

 

“Allow me to escort you?”

 

He hadn’t asked before.

 

“Sure? I mean, we both need to clean, so yes.”

 

He smiled wider. “You make yourself approachable to many here, but not many would approach me. So we would get there without stopping for anything. Being who we are, people would think us talking Inquisition.” He went to grab our things.

 

I grin at that, tugging at some loose hair and looking away. “Aha… yeah…” I did end up talking to half the village it felt like, ever curious about what people did and ending up knowing their life story. I know Harritt was both annoyed and amused by my intrigue by his blacksmithing and constant presence when I wasn't training, studying, eating, sleeping or at the stables. I don't know, I just liked it there. It was warm, and watching the work of them diligently forging on (ha) and seeing them _create_... It was really cool to me. Same with being in the small stables Haven had. I liked knowing about the animals. A city girl I may be, but I did really like animals and how they acted and how their bodies worked so differently to a humans. I did wonder if one could study an animal and use magic to copy how it did things.

 

The Commander came over with sword and items in hand while holding an arm up for me to take.

 

Unsure, I fake a confused stare and then mimic him.

 

He choked out a laugh. “Do men not escort women?”

 

“Well if we were together I’d have my arm around your bicep or holding your hand, like so," I reach out and take his hand, entwining our fingers with a playful squeeze, running a thumb over his before letting go, "But, no? Women do link arms often enough.” I muse, putting the side of my finger to my mouth. Was there any places that still actually did have men escorting women from sensibilities on Earth? I couldn’t think of a one I’d visited that did it to be quite honest. “I mean, I think I may have read of it as something men did hundreds of years ago?”

 

Cullen’s eyes widened, looking a bit shocked. Was it really that weird? He shook it off. “Simply put your hand on my forearm or on the inner of my elbow.”

 

Okay, one thing about me? I could flirt the hell out of people with words.

 

_Touching?_

 

Man, it was just like, _the next step_.

 

And he had _gorgeous bloody forearms_.

 

I'm a weak woman, what can I say?

 

I reach forward and then hesitate.

 

Why was I suddenly like this?! It’s not as though I hadn’t done this before!

 

Cullen stared at me, a bit befuddled and I felt my cheeks heat up the longer I dithered about this.

 

Embarrassment wrenched through me once more.

 

“Lani?”

 

“Sorry, I can’t. If it was for some important thing it’d be nothing to me, but to do so in private is very much so personal and means something and-and-and-” I choked like an idiot at his astonished expression, feeling so confused because this world wasn’t supposed to be real. “I can’t. I’m sorry, I can’t.” I take my stuff from him and point away. “I’m gonna go now before I make more of a mess of this.” I abruptly turn and walk away quickly, stiffening when I heard a curse and Cullen came up putting a hand to my shoulder and making me freeze up, eyes wide.

 

“Lani, I had not meant-”

 

“Is everything well here, Lani?”

 

I look up at Solas to my right, clutching my things to me, probably looking a state while his eyes are narrowed at us, arm behind him while the other held his staff imperiously, tunic flapping in the evening breeze. Huh. Statuesque. He looked rather marvellous like that. “Ah, yes, simply some, uh, miscommunication and cultural differences.” He cocked his head at that, seeing my inflamed face and whatever Cullen looked like. Probably appalled with himself. He seemed the type. “It is nothing major to be concerned over, So’.”

 

I see his eyes linger on my face before looking sharply at the Commander. “I see. Shall I walk you back?”

 

“Uh, I-”

 

“Have already accepted my offer to escort her back.”

 

I look over my shoulder, but he was staring at Solas who was staring right on back. Nervous, I simply say, “By the water goddess Leviathan! I’m going back to my assigned sleeping quarters now. Goodnight, _gentlemen_.” I _may_ have left some sarcasm in that word.

 

But hell, I was a grown woman.

 

I could take my damn self to my own bed, thanks.

 

So I did.

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comments you have would be awesome to read - and thanks to those who have, and those who gave this a kudos! x


	6. Nuts to Crack

 

 

**Chapter Six**

 

 

 

I look at the note from that guy whose wife owned this place.

 

There was one of these twice _weekly_.

 

“Josie baby, when is the Inquisition going to find an _actual_ base? Surely we’re not staying in Haven forever? We’re going to get big. Plus it’s kind of outlandish here and I don’t really like Haven. And wooden walls can be burnt down.”

 

Josephine hummed. “That is a very good point. I had been thinking these things myself,” The Ambassador admitted and set her paper down.

 

“Know any good places with low mortgage and good, strong, stone walls?” I joke, but she went pensive anyway.

 

“I wonder…” She got up and left the room. She spoke to someone outside before coming back in. “We shall have company soon.”

 

Bewildered and yet curious, I nod, letting a few magical motes of light surround me. Some of them were companionable, brushing up against me and others were just lights. I quite liked the thought of pets, so I had some of the lights take some personality in their making. Mainly because I missed the cats I had in my family home. Ideas flooding me as I went back into my magical research, because Nina had jolted my mind into recalling that eyes were light detectors, and I’d also wondered if I could modify body parts to have animal characteristics which in turn made me wonder if I could do something more.

 

Pets.

 

 _Could_ I make animals?

 

I’d thought that before but, surely I could?

 

I pause, because I seemed to have already made motes of light like me, so… I could potentially do _more_ right? I knew the body, had made a woman regrow her own foot. Surely a small body, a mouse or something, wouldn’t be so hard?

 

The door knocked and Solas came in when Josie called for him to enter.

 

“You wished to see me, Ambassador?”

 

“Lani had an idea.”

 

I blink back into it with a, "Hm?"

 

"Stone walls?" Josephine prompted.

 

I gave her an amused look at her wanting me to be all leader-like but turned to Solas. “Hey, hope you’re doing well today, So’! I was thinking, the Inquisition, it’s naturally going to get bigger. Bigger than Haven. Do you know of any places such an organization could stay from your Fade travels? Because someone who opened the fissure up there will want to find and take out someone with the ability to stitch that up and uh, Haven? Their defences? Nuh-uh.” For some reason, his ears lilted a little, pulled down and out before going into place again. I was a tad intrigued by that. “What does it mean when your ears do that?” I ask curiously, only to jump as Josephine’s gasp of shock and curse under my breath when I knock the ink, thinking I’d tipped it over but it fortunately rocked back without spilling.

 

“You do not ask such things, Lani! It is most rude!”

 

I reared back at that a little, eyebrows completely raised. “W-What? How do I know if I do not _ask,_ Josie baby? Isn’t it just like raising a brow in question or lifting lips in hilarity? Just a way to communicate emotion?”

 

“It is, how do you say, a faux-pas?” The Antivan said softly.

 

“Why?”

 

Solas was looking at the Ambassador as well, hints of curiousness in his perked up ears and slight head movement.

 

“I… do not quite know why. It has always been considered rude.” She mused, thoughtful but uncomfortable.

 

“I don’t get why.” I settle back into the chair. “How else am I supposed to properly understand people that have an extra layer of body language that I don’t have that I can’t decipher if I don’t ask? It's not like I'm being ignorantly rude on purpose or offensive or...  _Was_ it offensive, Solas?” I ask, unsure.

 

“No. It was surprising, but it was not offensive to me, though I cannot say of others of my kind as I have been apart from them most of my life.” He nodded and I nodded back.

 

“I’ll ask Nina as well. Maybe it’s a country culture thing? Anyway, so what did that mean?”

 

Solas smiled. “I was recalling a memory in this instance.”

 

“This instance? Huh. And would that memory mean you have some Fadewalking knowledge of a place the Inquisition could stay in? Because I’ve really had enough of these now _tri_ -weekly notes from that DuRellion guy.” I wag it at Josephine who sighs and nods in agreement and then chuck it down in vexation. “Seriously, doesn’t he have anything better to do?" I turn to Solas hopefully. "If you’ve the co-ordinates, I’m sure we can go send out a scout team – do we have a builder or architectural hobbyist of some sort in the ranks in case of weathering?” I remark to Josephine.

 

“I shall ask Leliana to have an appropriate team sent out. May we have information on this memory, Solas?”

 

I seem him lean the slightest and say, “Josie, our manners are atrocious.”

 

The Antivan gasps again and gets up, fluttering about and speaking quickly and apologising effusively and I put my smiling mouth behind my hands when Solas gives me a look, amused and exasperated in one and calms the Ambassador. He was now sat with a set of plates at my desk before him and a cup of apple juice because I remember him not liking tea from going to the Hinterlands for weeks with the guy. Who the hell didn’t like _tea?_  It was literally flavoured water. He forever has my very slight suspicion because of it. I was a Brit with adoptive Chinese parents and whose best friend was Indian. Three of the biggest tea drinking countries known for it!

 

It was in my damn _subconscious_ to warily wonder at a person who said no to tea!

 

The elf mage talked of his travels around a place called Skyhold with a lot more enthusiasm than he normally showed, perhaps buoyed by two intrigued women stopping their pressing work to listen. We threw questions at him left, right, and centre, assembling any bit of knowledge from him and figuring out what would need to be done to the place to have it liveable. I cajoled a couple of more amusing anecdotes out of him with a grin, chin in hands and elbows on desk. He probably liked the lighting motes flying around my head. I know I’d seen him smile a little more when I laughed at something and the pet motes nuzzled into me.

 

It’s only when I saw something flicker in his eyes I leaned forward, fascinated, making his eyes widen at my sudden movement.

 

Green reflectiveness in his eyes, like a cat.

 

“Ah!” I grin when I understood. “You can see in the dark!”

 

“You did not know this?”

 

“No. You’re the first elf I’ve ever met, remember.” I fiddle with a quill and sigh. “That’s so cool. I’d love to see in the dark. Tripped over _waaay_ too many things at night.”

 

Josie giggled at that. “You are most inspiring, Lady Lani.”

 

I snort and turn to Solas and gesture to Josephine as I comment lazily, “Did you hear that, Solas? That was a total dig at me. Backhand compliment, alright,” I tease, scrunching my nose playfully up at the woman who giggled again as he chuckled.

 

“The first? You said it before but, do you truly have no elves in your world? What did you think of us when you saw us? Elves are... disliked to be candid about it.”

 

“Only humans," I confirm gently and looked at him with a smile looking his face over. "I often want to touch your face to feel the difference between elf and human, but that's scientist me being curious. I kinda thought you and Varric were just weirdly shaped humans to be honest. Some kind of different genetic sequencing and all that.” He cocked his head, wanting an explanation on that but I instead continued, “Plus people do body modification in our world all the time, putting things under skin to make patterns, piercings and tattoos galore. Some even sharpen their canines further. Someone with pointier ears? S’nothing to me. They look pretty if I’m honest.” I happily smiled at his, grinning wider when they twitched a little and tinted pink. Though I wondered if that was my sight in the dim light of the windowless room playing tricks on me. “I like our differences, they’re fun to talk about for me. And some guy is shorter? We get people like that too.” I shrug, not bothered by it. “Anyway, hate for a certain people is a learnt thing. You just have to look at kids to know that.”

 

Solas took that in silently, that intent but reticent look on his face there once again. “Fascinating.”

 

My lips quirked, able to see him as Spock. “Can I scan them?”

 

“Pardon?”

 

“Your eyes, so I can see how it works, if the optic nerves are greatly different, if there’s more muscles, what type of extra receptors you have, that sort of thing.” I explain, but it simply made his brows raise. He nodded slowly and I cheerfully stood up, circling the table and putting the unmarked hand to his temple, fingers lightly touching the temple and thumb on the bridge of his nose. I felt him suck in a silent breath when my very enthusiastic magic did its best to calm down under my terrible control and piped the tiniest bit out to go over it. Huh. So it really was just like a cats. There was only an extra layer of tissue behind the retina and slightly stronger muscles. I gently take it out and nod. “Thank you. I understand it fully now.”

 

“You are welcome.” He paused and I saw him swallow, Adam’s apple bobbing. “I understand your control problem now. That which you put in me… that was not all your magic?”

 

I give a smile and rueful nod. “Right you are. But it’s no big deal. I’m sure others have way more magic, easy.” I then look down at the notes, not seeing the wondering look on his face at the uncaring of the immense power I held. “I’ll go see Leliana about this. It’s time for me to go find the Commander and get some training in anyway. Peace out, people.” I salute them and walk out.

 

Down the hall I hear from behind me, “I am often lost with Lady Lani’s words, Solas, but I am rather sure she was hoping for no war between us.”

 

“Or goodbye.”

 

“But that is so dull!”

 

Josephine would totally be a tv-soap type of person.

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

 

The next week of rest is full of lessons galore.

 

I hardly have time to myself, worked hard physically when training with Cullen in the morning and at night and mentally with Josephine and Leliana, both helping me to become better at The Game and all its’ intricacies.

 

It’s a reprieve from being on field all the time, but I don’t feel that good at either.

 

It’s only in my cabin, practising magic, that I feel best.

 

Even if trying to create animals is rather… gory.

 

Multiple times I’d chucked half made animals on the fire.

 

I’d get it, eventually.

 

Falling asleep is easy when completely exhausted; waking up after four or five hours and counting the days I’ve been here, is not.

 

My eyes are bloodshot as I stared gormlessly at the ceiling, but ignoring my head is the best thing for me and so I get up and wash, continuing on with the day.

 

Cullen wrapped on the door, and with a quick burst of healing over me, I go to the door with a sleepy grin and endure the next day of not being on Earth.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

I was drying my hair with a towel as I got out the communal bathing spring when I noted one of the mage women simply come out, flare heat over her and dress. Unable to help myself, I went over with a soft, “Excuse me?”

 

The pretty brunette looked up and jolted. “Oh, milady Herald!”

 

I then realised it was one of the mages we’d recruited in the Hinterlands. “Mary, right?”

 

Her green eyes lit up, a beautiful smile on her lips. “Yes!”

 

“How did you do that? With the heat?”

 

“Like this,” She held her hands out, put the unmarked one of mine on top of it, slowly raising it to my hair so I could feel the motions of it. My magic scanned her hand, felt how the energy change and vibrated quicker, which made sense. I mimicked with my hands, only for others in a three metre radius to gasp as I accidentally dried them all.

 

Uh… Whoops.

 

“Sorry about that people! I’m too used to using lots of power to close rifts!” I called over my shoulder and then grin at Mary.

 

“Wow! That’s impressive!”

 

Yeah, I wasn’t about to tell her it was a _complete_ accident, acting as if I had any control. Seriously, I had to learn how to contain all this dang power. “Thanks, Mary! Do you think the mages will mind if I ask such things?”

 

“Not at all, Herald; we’d be happy to teach you little tricks.”

 

“I’m not really good with lethal attacks. I’m much better at healing, anything the others could teach me would be great! Hey, does anyone know how to shapeshift around here? That’d be incredible!” I ask enthusiastically, and she laughed.

 

“How about we get dressed and find out?”

 

I realise now my towel had dropped when I dried myself and four other women and I was naked to everyone.

 

I coughed and picked it up with fake dignity anyone could see through. “Ahaha… yeah.”

 

The mages were full of little tricks and tips for better control and doing things quickly. Mary was wonderful at cleaning with her magic, and able to find many hidden glyphs and other such magical hidden treats as she delicately brushed away dust and hidden wards, so I was thinking of recommending her to Leliana, who’d been surprisingly pleased about the thought of finding this fortress to the north, having told me of Soldier’s Peak in upper Ferelden and how useful it was to have such a base. I quite liked how Mary’s magic worked, and it was interesting to note I was beginning to feel out subtleties of magic after much use of it.

 

Ferdinand, a blue eyed, black haired and rather buff Orlesian that had gotten the heck out of the White Spire, was very good at manipulating magic already present. He was particularly fond of using others magic without having to expend much of his. He’d been able to, with difficulty, do so to mine and was hopping with energy for the next hour. He was good at dispelling and making people into bombs, which was half terrifying and half awe-inspiring. He seemed good at leading as well, rallying around some mages so there could be a mini-lesson going on with us all swapping help to boost others abilities.

 

Joan was rough and ready in more rogue-like clothing of leathers rather than robes like the others, a grin on her face that made me instantly like her as others warily back off. She’d purchased a manual that helped her with shapeshifting and could change into a spider, like one of those humongous ones that had charged after me in the Fade – in which she did so, instantly making others shriek. The redhead sheepishly apologised to them when she changed back but gave me a thumbs up and a playful bow when I began clapping enthusiastically, mind whirling at the possibilities. She even began to juggle balls of lights and then threw them up only to have them swallowed down when they came back down as if affected by gravity and she glowed like a firefly, gratified by the applause.

 

Until I noted Cullen coming over and realised how late I was to training. “Oh shit.”

 

“Herald.”

 

“Commander.” I slip down from the barrel I was sitting on and smile awkwardly. “I was just getting some useful training from fellow magic users.”

 

Cullen raised his brows, looking at the glowing Joan, who waved at him cheekily. “Quite.” He remarked, not seeming fazed by it, though it had gained a bit of a crowd from the non-magical sector. “We have a meeting, I believe?”

 

“We do!” I chirped and looked around me. “See you guys tomorrow! I got blade training to get to! Wish me luck!”

 

They did so, waving after me as I skipped over to the Commander, looking up at him playfully.

 

“Shall we?” He held an arm out and I easily took it, thumb on the back of his wrist and was guided away to the emptied training area. Around no one else, I took it away. “I must apologise for before with the escorting.”

 

“Why do you believe you are apologising?”

 

“You were not comfortable. It was wrong of me to do so.”

 

I side-eyed him. “Hm.”

 

“Do you not accept? Was I wrong?” He asked quickly, hazel eyes looking concerned at me, a little furrow between the brows.

 

“Yes, you were wrong about having to apologise for that specific thing.” I narrow my eyes at him.

 

Cullen paused at that, taking me in as he ran through what he was supposed to be apologetic for. “I do not understand.”

 

“You, and Solas.”

 

Discomfort ran over his features. He ran a hand through his hair. “It was not for you to think we were treating you like Mabari over a piece of meat. I-”

 

“It sure felt like it. And not for me to think it? Excuse you?” I crossed my arms and heckled him more, “Am I not to think now?”

 

Alarm ran over his features. “No! Maker’s breath, I simply did not wish you treated like you had to be coddled by him. I’ve seen you fight. You’re feisty and-” He went red when I raised my brows. “Oh, for- you do not need to be walk anywhere from me as if I were preying upon you. _I_ was offended by him insinuating I was so and I’ve clearly offended you, which was _not my intent,_ ” He remarked heatedly and then ended with softly at the dropping of my defensive arms, “At all.”

 

I blink at that. “Oh, okay then, apology accepted. Glad you understand. I don’t think you are, either.” Honestly between the two, I’d much think it was Solas that was more a preying type, sometimes cooping up next to me as if to protect his territory. He was an odd one. “I was being sarcastic on the way out, but you really were being a gentleman before it. I just don’t know how to react to such old mannerisms. Anyway, now I know my autonomy is secured once more, let’s go, yeah?” I grin, holding out a hand for the longsword and with a little smile he handed it over. I couldn’t help but watch as he took off his cloak fur thing I managed to resist not ever touching.

 

“Let’s.”

 

It was only an hour later Cassandra came over as Cullen helped me off the floor once again. Grasping his forearm with my hand, I sent healing magic through us both and let go. “Seeker.”

 

“You and Solas both,” She mentioned and shook her head, bewildering me as Cullen crossed his arms. “We’re going to Val Royeaux tomorrow after our earlier talk. Do what you can to prepare, Lani.”

 

“Thanks for the heads up. How long do you think we’ll be?” I really hope it’s not ages. The thought of going away for another long stretch was seriously unappealing. I did not like to _stink_ and unfortunately, world being as it is, we were in the wild and away from decent waterfalls and rivers most of the time. I carried an extra bottle of water just to wipe down the smelliest parts of me and also carried oil to keep clothing smelling better. I didn’t care if it ruined my tunic and breeches and socks. I was smelling decent damn it.

 

“This will be talks with the clerics. The length should be the trip there and back rather than the stay.”

 

“Oh good.”

 

“I’d advise washing and sleeping while you can. We’ll be on sea there and back.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

  

 

A four days later and I was getting off a ship to the capital of Orlais, sheer relief running through me, slumping on an understanding Varric.

 

“Never been on a ship, experimenter? Thanks,” He added on as I healed us both.

 

“Oh, I have but hey, forward technology includes greater ships. You do _not_ get that on a cruise ship. That was terrible. We have to do _that_ again?” I ask in disbelief but then realise I am sounding like I’m complaining and sigh. “It could be worse I guess. Sorry for the whining.”

 

“Don’t worry, I’m with you. City boy.”

 

I laugh. “Same! Give me a bustling city over Haven.” I then began peering around curiously, taking in the sights. “Lovely architecture!”

 

“Most of it was based on the first Emperor’s design of the Chantry and half this stuff was rebuilt about six hundred years ago after a fire, though the outer edges were put up about two hundred years ago. The Temple was made in minus three Ancient. First Divine was elected three years later. They thought unifying under the banner of Andraste would bring peace and marched all around Thedas,” Varric explained, and then chuckled to himself. “Of course, two years after the Second Blight happened.”

 

“Blight?”

 

“You don’t know what it is? How long have you been here?”

 

My keen smile dims and I feel my body visibly slump without meaning to. “One hundred and twenty-two nights,” I promptly remark, crossing my arms, and the sights suddenly weren’t as pretty. “You know quite the bit about this place. Studying up beforehand or just a general interest?”

 

“This is not a merry city break to be had at one’s convenience, you two,” Cassandra stated before Varric could respond and went on her way.

 

The dwarf gave me an apologetic shrug of the shoulders before following after the Seeker.

 

I plod on after them.

 

“Lani?”

 

I look at Solas with a, “Hm? What is it, Solas?”

 

“I had meant no offence trying to take you from your companion. Merely to keep you safe. He is an ex-Templar, and the need for lyrium still burns through him.”

 

The guy was one of them?

 

My lips pursed at the information as I slowly nod in understanding, walking after the other two. Why was he telling me this now, away from Cullen where I couldn’t ask…? Confusion and hurt was now on my face. He’d-He’d done something like this before, Solas. Speaking over me. Keeping me away from things I could easily deal with. Seemingly warning me from others now. Why? What the hell was this guys’ problem? So maybe I was the weak link here to be kept an eye on, but Cullen was right in that I had no need to be coddled. I wasn’t emotional. In fact I was sure I was less emotional than most people around me. I was playful and quite bubbly, but I thought things through, was more smart than strong with my science and deduction and used that in my choices. Perhaps because I was outspoken and staunch in opinion I was considered troublesome?

 

But it felt like I was being quashed underneath Solas’s eyes, and under Cassandra’s too.

 

Nina, Varric, Josephine, and Cullen were my closest friends here. Not one of them made me feel like I had to push myself down. They seemed approving of my personality, even.

 

“Thank you for telling me this. I wished I’d known earlier.”

 

Solas smiled at me, eyes warm. “You’re welcome.”

 

_You suspicious bastard._

 

Walking into the capital proper, I idly looked at one of the plaques before snorting, bad mood going. “Hey, hey Varric, look.”

 

The dwarf did so, snickering at the added description with me, only to spy another a little along the way. “Hey, there’s another one. _At meeting a low door frame_.” The pair of us look up and then cackled at the marble statue holding his head.

 

“Would you two focus?!” Cassandra snapped as Solas chuckled to himself at our playing.

 

“Of course, of course,” I soothe and then she nodded and went forth.

 

Naturally Varric and I couldn’t help but peer at each other with smirks and silently shuffle off to look at the next ones anyway, snickering under our breath when we told each other like a pair of troublesome schoolchildren and Solas’s ears twitched, amused and saying nothing.

 

It seemed he oddly approved.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

I choked on stage-fear for a few moment, coughing. I begin out wobbly, “Th-There’s a problem in the sky that has to be seen to f-first. The Inquisition is dealing with it. We are not heretics for doing as Andraste did in the first place, you are the ones stopping us from carrying out the kindness and bravery to help the people of Thedas Andraste would smile upon!”

 

“Us?! We-URK!”

 

I jerked as one of the Templars flat out punched the woman in the back of the head, making her roll.

 

The crowd gasped in alarm.

 

“Still yourself. She is beneath us.” The leader said to the Templar who’d begun to react.

 

“Lord Seeker Lucius!” Cassandra cried out and clerics that had been there to be convinced otherwise scattered.

 

“Hey!” I snapped out. “Is that what your order does? Goes around hitting old Mothers just for speaking their mind? And they call the Avvar barbarians! At least they look after their elderly!”

 

The people around them murmured in agreement.

 

“Her claim to authority is an insult, much like your own.” The man sneered and walked away.

 

Cassandra tried to talk and was rebuffed, going on about the Templars standing on their own. “But Lord Seeker-”

 

“There’s no point Cassandra. He is free to make a Templar order like we are free to make an Inquisition when there is no Divine to stop us.” I say.

 

The Seeker stared at me as if I said some sacrilegious. “What?!”

 

“However.” I raise my hand. “The Inquisition has not only the writ that doesn’t make us heretical, it also hold the only person who can damn well close the rifts and the Breach. Your people stop magic, but can only a handful of you stop the full might of the Fade itself? A whole other world of magic? Can you actually believe you can close it? You take a good long look at the Breach, tell me your power is enough.”

 

The Templars shifted and said nothing, but Lucius growled.

 

“I know there is some of you that don’t agree with this madness,” I gesture to the downed woman, who groaned on cue. Nice. “The Inquisition is open to those of you who don’t.”

 

“Templars! We leave Val Royeaux to itself!”

 

“That was great, experimenter,” Varric remarked and clapped me on the back when everyone else was watching the Templars go. “Didn’t take you for one to do performance art.”

 

“You kiddin’ me? I was terrified they’d turn around and knock me out next!” I admitted quietly. “Something isn’t right with that leader. Seeker might be a hard arse, but she’s usually good at finding if people are good enough or not, and she seemed to trust that dude.”

 

Cassandra was walking to the Mother and beginning to talk to her, with Solas healing the downed woman wordlessly.

 

“Agreed. Well at any rate, you did good, experimenter.” He sighed and shook his head. “Living by bullshitting day to day. What a life.”

 

“Thought that was adulthood in a nutshell?”

 

He laughed.

 

 

* * *

  

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thumbs up for the kudos ty much love mwah mwah hope you like this cheerio


	7. New Crew

 

 

** Chapter Seven **

 

 

 

 

Fuck the piece of shit Orlais University.

 

I leave through the front doors, inwardly infuriated.

 

Not one took me seriously and I was loathe to give them more futuristic information than I’d already given.

 

“No good?”

 

I level Varric with a dark look as we walk down the steps briskly.

 

“ _We shall not speak of this again_ it is, got it.”

 

“No. No, I’m going to remaster the way they know magic and biology and I’m going to _lord_ it in their fucking faces,” I snarl out, swiftly walking past Cassandra and Solas who’d been waiting before the steps for me.

 

Science was the one thing I was so proud of! The future of people, and their health and understanding of the world and all the benefits of technology that came from it and-and-and-?!

 

My science was laughed at by these backward piece of shit-?!

 

My eyes watered in fury.

 

The world I longed for was insulted, and that _scorched_ me to the core.

 

I hated these backwater fucking barbaric, blithering donkey cum-guzzling fucking tosspots that couldn't-!

 

Cassandra crossed her arms and drawled, “I did inform you that your _science_ would not be-”

 

I turn on her in an instant, face murderous and ready to slam her away with my magic. “Say _one more word_ about my _world_ and its’ _science, **Seeker**._ I fucking dare you.” I didn’t realise sparks of orange were tumbling about me threateningly and my eyes flashed with my magic. “Because I’m in the mood to pick a fight and _bury_ you with my _bare fucking hands!_ ” I yell at her, uncaring of what she'd think of me after this.

 

The woman did not, bowing her head. “Apologies.”

 

I look back at the University and narrow my eyes. “The Inquisition is going to outclass these bastards in every way,” I swore defiantly, chin raising and then turn on the building, fire in my heart to be the best. "There's no way we're allowing this _ignorance_ to keep happening!" I didn’t see the others look at each other, Solas and Cassandra thoughtful and intrigued while Varric was suddenly going through his pockets for spare quill, ink and parchment.

 

Solas raised a brow at him as I stormed off.

 

“ _Can’t believe those fucking twats!_ ”

 

“Gotta make sure I write those words correctly for my next book.”

 

Cassandra made her thoughts well known with an, “Ugh.”

 

_“Absolute fucking bastards! I am damn well going to pull this world forward in whatever way I can whether it likes it or not!”_

 

Varric called out, “You tell ‘em experimenter! Keep it up! _I’m_ taking notes!”

 

"Fuck off, author! Shove those notes up your arse!"

 

"Keep going, I love it when you talk dirty to me!"

 

"Gah!"

 

Why is my anger amusing to them?!

 

 

* * *

 

  

* * *

 

  

Sera was gabbing on in my ear as we travelled by ship over the calm sea a week later.

 

I simply ate another almond tuiles, a type of Orlesian biscuit. There were so many tasty foods in Orlais, and I’d also spoke to Cassandra about gathering some resources here, so we had this whole ship to ourselves, but extra in the form of a small group of Templars, a few traders and some tradesmen in building that would go along with the scout group to the fortress in the north after a short break from travelling. Not to mention long lasting food, potion ingredients, more weapons and building supplies were also to be sent along to the fortress with them.

 

All in all, a pretty good haul.

 

“Must you fester in the Herald’s ear?” Vivienne spoke out. Funny that, considering she had agreed to speak in people’s ears in the Capital of Orlais. But first she wanted to see what it was like in Haven so she could report things properly. Probably something like what Josephine did. “We both have business to think over.”

 

Sera snorted, not wanting to be around the prissy bitch, with a happy and then mocking, “See you later, Herald! Later, _Vivvy._ ”

 

I raised my brows at that and shake my head, turning back to face the sea. “Thank you, Madame. I was not in the mood to speak. Tuile?” I offered the bag out. “The walking we will do will burn it off,” I added when she was about to say no. “Plus it’s nice not to taste salt with every inhale.”

 

She took one delicately. “Thank you, my dear.” A bite into the biscuit and she smiled. “The best ones in Val Royeaux. Your author has excellent taste.”

 

“I pretty much had him bargaining all day and throwing around his Merchant Prince reputation for being a sod to me.” I couldn’t resist. There were all these personal hygiene products and little treats I wanted to try and books that seemed like they’d be useful for my magical education. Just a bunch of things, really. Cassandra had sent word forward, so carriages should be awaiting us, letting us ride forth as they followed behind with a group of men to guard it all. “Worked a treat.” Speaking of, I took another one out and began nibbling.

 

“I see you are not a Circle Mage.”

 

“I’m not circle trained, no. My control is an issue, so any help is always appreciated, though all the mages I know are pitching in to help me,” I grin at her ruefully. “I only really have healing down to an art. Attacking doesn’t come naturally to me, though I am one for using the Fade for moves such as veil strike.”

 

“It is unusual that healing is your best school of magic.” The woman came up to my side fully. “Though I understand why you would be good at using the Fade as it is. It takes a certain strength most do not have, and an affinity with the Fade being powered through you.”

 

Where was this leading?

 

Solas came up and for once I was glad of his pesky overbearing protectiveness over my mark. “I am sure if the Madame wishes, I would be able to tell you more of the Fade and the mark our Herald bears.”

 

Vivienne stiffened but looked around. “And what would an apostate without the mark be able to tell me of it the Herald could not do so better?”

 

“I was the one to heal her when it was first placed upon her. I’ve more knowledge on it.” His eyes flickered to it.

 

It, not me, the bearer.

 

“ _She_ has a name, apostate.” Madame Vivienne sniffed at him, making it an us against him thing as she crossed her arms and leaned her hip my way. “Not that you should be calling her anything but Herald.”

 

Solas turned to me and I blankly stared back, bringing a tuile to my mouth and biting into it. “Lani.” He nodded in acknowledgement.

 

“It would behove you to be wary of this apostate, Herald. It seems he sees the mark first,” Vivienne told me with a scoff and derisive look Solas' way, promptly walking off.

 

 _And you the figurehead that is the Herald. But at least I know where I stand with you, Madame._ I scrunch the top of the bag of biccies closed, hating politics and how this place had a hell of a lot more backstabbing than I’d ever gone through before and lean on the side of the boat to stare at choppy waters splashing against the side.

 

“It is not so.”

 

I look at him from the side and then back out at the sea again. “I regret her saying that.”

 

“It is not for you to regret it, Lani.”

 

“Only I do regret it because I should have been able to say it first. We have been by each other’s sides for weeks after all.” I finish at his astonished expression that quickly goes neutral. “There’s something about you, Solas. And even someone that’s new to our group such as Vivienne saw it. Some sort of dislike of people. You’re snobbish in a way Vivienne isn’t. I don't even know how to explain it, but I have every belief you know _exactly_ what I'm talking about. Whatever it is, sort it out.” I stare at him as I say these thing, seeing his eyes flicker, but his face remain as neutral as it could. It seemed he wasn't used to such bluntness as he reacted a little, letting me know he knew, and if he knew and still did it, that meant a lot.

 

His head cocked slowly, eyes inscrutable. “I am merely here to help you close the Breach or we are all doomed." Repeated words from him. "I intended no offence. The mark is yours." There was something odd about the way he said it. "I will admit, I sometimes find it hard to disjoint the world from the Fade and cannot see it as real. Connection between people is...  _difficult_ , for me.”

 

Statements that didn’t link.

 

Still, I understood the last part all too well and looked out to the sea as I admitted, “Sometimes, I do not see the world as real, the beings around us as people. My world is real, not yours. Not all this fantastical magic, unusual beliefs and completely different flora and fauna. But just because it isn’t what I know, doesn’t mean it’s not right.” But I still couldn't see it as truly as real as mine. Maybe... i don't know. Maybe if I was able to go back and forth world to world (and what a doozy that was to think about) I could, but... I felt like I was dreaming here. The world was lacking a certain vibrancy and life I was accustomed to. It wasn't just a technology thing either. The place just seemed muted, in a way, and it didn't help I had future knowledge banging about in my head that cried to come out and correct people, to better them and change their life for the greater.

 

“Or indeed wrong.” A hand was suddenly on my shoulder, warm and gentle. “Perhaps we should both work towards getting our world right.”

 

“Yes. But how?”

 

“Touch, perhaps?” He squeezed and I turned to him as he stroked a hand down my arm and took the chance to bow over my unmarked hand and kiss the back at it, eyes staring at me. I felt heat go through me, magic thrumming in me. I held back the purr, however, I think he may have felt it regardless. “I will endeavour to better myself, and give more mind to treating you well. You’ve yet to succumb to the mark overpowering you. You are admirable. And your cheer and joy in magic is a balm to the soul. I have interest in the mark, but which mage wouldn’t?”

 

Ducking and diving. He was just suspicious.

 

_He wants me for the mark._

 

Yet he'd taught me well, listened, laughed and lived through things with me. He helped. He hindered. He was kind. He was harsh. He was so him and he felt more alive than all the others in this world, so greyed out and lacking that _oomph_ I was so used to back home. I didn't quite know how to explain the push and pull of my emotions with this guy, but whatever it was, in the end, he was alive, and I couldn't ignore him.

 

Not just because it was him, but because I needed  _someone_ here to feel alive for my own damn sanity.

 

Unfortunately, he was becoming a crutch to me.

 

I needed to lean on him, have his presence around, to feel awake.

 

It wasn't healthy, but I had nothing else as real as him around.

 

“But I do wish your continued health, and hopefully continued happiness.”

 

I give a half smile, a little sad, letting my magic droop, so to speak, as my shoulders do. “I suppose I should expect it from everyone. My life isn’t my own, huh?”

 

And that, that stung.

 

I felt bitterness in me at that.

 

That wouldn’t do.

 

His hand squeezed comfortingly. “Unfortunately so, lethallan. My friend.”

 

It made me stare out at the choppy waters with a little frown on my face at the thought of that.

 

No.

 

No, that wouldn’t do at all.

 

It would  _not happen._

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

  

 

A sudden surge of working my magic took over. I decided control mattered, yes, but if I had to simply power my way through most things like a bull in a china shop, then that’s what I’d have to damn well do for now. There was just too much magic in me and it remade itself so swiftly I couldn’t get _rid_ of it all so I couldn’t bloody well use it efficiently. Everything came out overpowered, too big, _too much_. But for my healing, which was still rambunctious in me before it came out, yet did so with my full control for some reason. I daren’t use lightning in forested areas lest I wanted to cause mass wanton destruction, and fire stayed an absolute enigma to me for some reason despite knowing exactly what it needed (perhaps creating that from nothing was a step too far for my mind?), so I pretty much ignored those two. Ice was a little odd to use, and as I learnt it from Solas when I asked him, I had better understanding of it, and that made it slightly easier. Sheer spirit magic was best, though I had to make sure no one was in the area I wanted to use it.

 

I had to stick to staffs or freak out the populace, but the amount of staffs I went through from them burning out from too much magic was alarmingly high.

 

You’d think having lots of power was great, but clearly wielding such an amount meant I couldn’t properly use it _at all_.

 

There’s every chance I never would.

 

Again, but for my healing that worked beautifully. I ended up pumping that constantly around my body, localising it like I had done music outside of me in a loop and was constantly repairing myself enough that it’d become independent in me, having dared to place it into my autonomous nervous system in the hypothalamus. It worked, though afterwards I was kicking myself when I reread what the rest of the ANS did. I could have killed myself from disrupting the ANS that controlled the heartbeat and cardiac regulation. I could have died from thinking only if I _could_ , not whether or not I _should_. Still, it helped to refine the healing in me by constant usage, so healing came out far better than ever. Insanely good, even. Biology was truly my shining point.

 

Some days it astounded me.

 

I had _magic_.

 

I loved it!

 

So it came to no surprise to me that when I did some serious concentration of research for days on end, experiments with a bunch of gruesome failures that made me grimace, I was holding a happily panting Mabari pup.

 

Created by my own magic.

 

It woofed at me and I cooed at him. “Aww, who’s a cute puppers?” I giggled as the dog proceeded to lick my face and shifted away. “Ah, puppy attack!” I laughed and fell back as the sandy-orange coloured beast slobbered over me, butt waggling from the force of his happiness. I got up at a bell from the Chantry chapel, realising it was time for training with Cullen in an hour. I changed into usual training clothing of breast wrap, tight top and loose breeches, gloves and boots in muted brown colours, unable to help but stare at the Mabari puppy that sniffed at everything in my room curiously. Awe flowed through me. _I made you._ I snag the dog up, laughing freely at his yelping woof at the suddenness of it and make my way out, only to see a bit of a commotion at the gate to Haven proper.

 

Seemed people had arrived?

 

I curiously looked down the stairs, arms crossed under the Mabari’s chest so his legs dangled, eager as the others to know what was going on. The first sight I got was some decidedly _unfairly_ incredible looking man in gleaming white armour pieces. The brightest of blue eyes came into my vision as he got off the horse, looking around in amusement, lips twitching at people gawping so unabashedly. Seeing no one else was doing anything, I went forward down the stairs with a, “Good afternoon, visitors! Welcome to Haven!”

 

The man, along with his contingency, turned to see me smiling at them so welcomingly. A little relief came over his features. “Ah, lass, thank you for that. I was rather unsure I’d come to the right village for the moment. This is the home of the Inquisition, aye?”

 

I couldn’t help but melt a little inside – _Scottish!_ Oh, I had missed this accent! I was so glad it was still around, it really was one of my favourites. “That it is!” I look back, noting three unsure stable hands and gestured them over. They hurried to me, needing direction. “Come get the horses and rub them down, lads. And get others to get the rest of you lot out here and inform Horse Master Dennet of this arrival.”

 

“Y-Yes, milady!” The trio dashed to do what I asked.

 

I grin and look at the leading man again. “You’ll be wishing to speak to Lady Josephine?”

 

“Aye, lass. If there’s a place for my men to rest while I talk to her…?”

 

“Certainly, if everyone’s ready, we can go the roundabouts way to the tavern.” I look at the eight men with him, off horse and ready to go as I put the dog down. “Go back to mine, Woofers.” The dog barked, spun in a few circles and then went on his way. I’m so glad he was made with brains.

 

He smiled at the dogs’ actions and then at me gratefully. “That would be perfect. It has been a long journey for us.”

 

“Shall we?” I ask and get a nod in return and begin leading them up and around. Everyone stared of course, unable to help themselves while watching them go by. “We don’t get many foreigners here, though admittedly as of late it’s become the norm, and not many in such great looking armour. Who are you?”

 

The man gave a kind smile. “I am Sebastian Vael, Prince of Starkhaven.”

 

“You don’t say?” I remark in surprise, eyebrows rising. “So you’re Varric’s Choirboy?” I grin playfully.

 

He gave a surprised chuckle at that. “Read his book, I see?”

 

“No, actually. I haven’t. He’s here.”

 

Surprise lit his face. “Here? Still?”

 

“In the tavern, I believe,” I add on thoughtfully, considering we were passing the fireplace and he wasn’t there. “He’s talked of his Kirkwall friends a few times to me. Very proud of you all. Don't tell him I said that. Speaking of, here it is.”

 

Sebastian turned to his men. “Enjoy a break, men, you’ve earned it.” They gave bows, and I watched the men in leather and clan tartan over their shoulders that fell over their backs to wrap around their waists with multiple sporrans on their sides go in to rest for a bit. One stayed with him, likely his second in command. “Are you sure, Rylen?”

 

“Of course, Prince.”

 

“Very well.” Sebastian turned back to me.

 

A nod, and I led them into the Chantry chapel, smiling at Solas who bowed his head back before staring back off to the Breach in thought on the way. Ever thinking that one was. Dangerous, that. I knocked on the door. “Lady Josephine, visitors from Starkhaven.”

 

“Come in!”

 

Opening the door, I winked at her as I came in and held it open for the two men. “There you are! Presenting Prince Sebastian Vael and his second, Rylen. Must go, Commander Cullen is training me shortly, but I’ll make sure some tea is ordered in here.” I say and with a short bow I leave. I catch a couple servants who smiled and nodded that they’d bring enough tea and refreshments straight away and leave to go find Cullen.

 

The man was in his tent, going through reports and rubbing the back of his head. “Head bothering you again, Commander?”

 

He jerked and turned, getting up at the sight of me, wide golden eyes narrowing in confusion. “Apologies, am I late? I could have sworn I didn’t hear the bell-”

 

I wave dismissively and cut him off with a laughing, “I came early,” as I went over to him. He sighed and sat down. “We have visitors from Starkhaven. One Sebastien Vael.”

 

“Stark-? You mean the Prince is here? Now?” Cullen said in alarm, getting back up again and grabbing a few pieces of parchment. “Come, we must make haste to meet him. You included, naturally, dear Herald.”

 

I grabbed his left upper arm with my marked hand as he passed and his frowning face turned to me as he stopped.

 

“Lani, we shouldn’t tarry-”

 

Smiling at this workaholic, I go on tip toes and raised a glowing orange hand to grasp the nape of his neck and the back of his skull and heal him. A moment of concentration and it was done. “There.” I nod to myself and turn away, leaving the tent, but hear nothing so I look around. He was looking at his reports in hand. “Yo, didn’t you want to go? I mean I could totally go for a round with you instead, you know?”

 

That made him jolt his head up and he barked out, “What?!”

 

I jumped from the sudden loudness, magic riling in me, eyes wide at him. “W-What?! What is it?”

 

We both stared at each other in confusion before suddenly he understood and laughed under his breath.

 

Cullen smiled at me ruefully. “I see.”

 

“I sure don’t,” I mutter to myself, but he clearly heard and smiled at me with more friendliness in it, coming up to my side. “Are we good now or are you going to be weird again?” I ask warily.

 

Cullen chuckled at that, idly putting a hand on my back and gently pushing me forward. “Let us go see Josephine.”

 

Minutes later and with a look around, Cullen knocked at the door and went into the meeting room rather than Josephine’s room, considering her usual space was vacant. I followed after he held the door open for me, seeing him once again peer around and close the door after me. Odd. “Good evening, I am Commander Cullen and this is the Herald Lani. Welcome to Haven,” He hailed as I noted the other three women that led the Inquisition there with Sebastian and Rylen.

 

“I am Prince Sebastian Vael of Starkhaven and this is my second-in-command, Rylen. Thank you for having us,” Sebastian replied with a nod and then stared at me in surprise. “You did not introduce yourself as the Herald of Andraste.”

 

I smile and shrug my shoulders. “I didn’t introduce myself at all, to be fair. Simply guided you to where you needed to be.”

 

It seemed he liked that. Greatly so. “Indeed so. You truly close rifts with a mark upon your hand?” He questioned, piercing blue eyes looking at my gloves.

 

I take it off, thinking how insane it was his eyes were that intense. I waggle my glowing hand before tugging the glove back on with a, “Yup.” I notice Josephine give me a look and nod quickly at me. Ham it up, then? “It’s a role I do my best to live up to, to protect the people of this world from demons finding their way here. I find much fulfilment in it.” The woman wanted more, quill going in circles, but what else did I say? Leliana was next to her, lips twitching. I sheepishly rub the back of my hand on my forehead, looking vulnerable. “I do not know if it was Andraste or not, if this is a question you wish to ask, but I have met spirits and demons in my dreams and none held the type of divinity the woman I saw did. The one that guided me out of the Fade.”

 

Which was true, actually. Flashes of memory of falling out made me feel something from that woman. Nothing like my other-worldly visitors in dreams when I sometimes go to the Fade, but something like going into a place of religion – that certain quiet pensive peace. I wasn't religious, but I couldn't deny the atmosphere put in them.

 

The two seemed awed, especially the Choirboy, which made sense.

 

“But, anyway, I… believe, you know?”

 

Sebastian was the one to nod earnestly and from his enthralled reaction, a little spiral of guilt twirled in my chest from my misdirection. “I completely understand, Herald.”

 

“So what brings you here?”

 

“I’ve come to help the Inquisition, Lady Herald,” He said sincerely. “Now Starkhaven is fully under my command once more, it is time to look outward to see which direction I wish to take my city-state. I wish to ally with the Inquisition, partake in trades of all kinds between our two factions and to see the Herald with my own eyes.”

 

“Ah-ha, perhaps I should have worn more than training gear and a lost Mabari puppy in first meeting with you. Would have left a better impression,” I say wryly, tugging at the off brown high-necked top.

 

Sebastian cocked his head slowly. “I daresay you were most appealing the way you were presented.” He smiled and damn if my heart didn’t flutter. I bet the Scottish bastard knew it too. “A warrior woman that cared for others... the image of Andraste.”

 

Slick. Scottish. Shit.

 

“Quite the compliment! Though considering the placement of where you _put_ her image, I’m not sure if I’ll take it as such,” I mused, crossing arms though I put the side of my right index finger to my lips as I shamelessly stared at it and then at him, eyebrow raised.

 

He laughed at that rejoinder, appreciative.

 

“You offer an alliance, Prince Vael?” Leliana brought it back around.

 

His eyes slowly peeled away from me. “Aye, I wish to rebuild Kirkwall after the Templar and Mages have stopped fighting. To have such a group as this help would be a great boon, and I am willing to offer my assistance now, inclusive of my men and their talents.” The Prince’s eyes locked back onto me, making me blink at the abruptness of his focus. “Naturally, I personally offer my protection in the field to you, Herald, regardless of how this alliance goes. I could not watch more of Thedas crumble as it has done if I could help you prevent it.”

 

The conviction in his words actually touched me a little. There was a wall around me from all others due to being from another world and myself still feeling hazy on the subject on if I truly cared what happened to these people. A wall that was sometimes breached, like right now. Likely because of my own mind playing tricks on me. However, “Any help we can get to close rifts will be gratefully appreciated.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you like, will update both this and Draconology after exams. (am doing science, so this fic is helping me to learn stuff and pretty much the reason why i wrote it)
> 
> any comment is awesome and welcome and helps to me actually finishing this fic instead of just throwing it up because maybe people will like the idea for a lil while


	8. Addictive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the 100+ kudos! Enjoy x

 

** Chapter Eight **

 

 

A little later as he pulled me up from the ground once more, Cullen asked me, “Did I hear Mabari puppy earlier?”

 

I perked up. “Yeah! Would you like to see him?”

 

The boyish grin on his face absolutely charmed me. “Of course! Where'd you get him from?”

 

I lie, hoping he takes it, hoping the Ferelden adoration of Mabari is true, "There was a dying Mabari mother, ill, carrying what must have been her last pup. This was the last pup." Later on, I know I'd go out and do one of those failure bodies, make it look real. "I healed him, turned to the mother, but she was dead. Even I can't bring back the dead."

 

There was no way they'd look at me the same if they knew this ability of mine, what with how much people hated mages.

 

Sorrow came over him. "A shame. They are wonderful companions."

 

The rest of the evening was the pair of us, mucky, muddy and messing with a Mabari puppy, laughing with a couple bottles of ale and telling stories of pets and animals we knew about in his open tent.

 

Cullen laughed uproariously at my dropped jaw when he said dragons were real.

 

Because.

 

Seriously.

 

_I gotta get me one of those._

 

He laughed harder when Woofers managed to climb on me and lick my face, only for his tongue to lick in my mouth and I spluttered in disgust. “Gross, Woofers!” I pushed him away, wiping my tongue on the inside of my sleeve, washing away the taste with more beer and rolling my eyes at Cullen still cackling at me. “Oh hush you.” I shove his knee, making him snicker. Leaning back against the table, I huddle the puppy in my arms, making sure to keep his head under my chin and he calmed down, panting happily. My magic still influenced him it seemed. I smiled a little and stroked his head. “Did I ever tell you I was working on making music with my magic?”

 

“Music?”

 

“Music and magic are actually very close to each other!” I begin, perking up and turning to him. “Sound is from vibration, right?”

 

Cullen cocked his head. “Like the string instruments? Lyre’s and such?”

 

“Exactly! You know how the strings goes back and forth when it’s twanged?” A nod and I continue, “Well, that’s exactly how sound moves. Compression and… rarefaction, I think we named it back home? Doesn’t matter. Either way, one back and forth motion,” I gesture with my hands, making them go towards and apart from each other, “is a wavelength. You know, like how waves go back and forth on a shore? When I hit these wavelengths in the right place with my magic, which is also like wavelengths by vibrating my energy through the air,” I lift my hand and tap at a place, creating a bass sound, “I get music. Now some of these wavelengths don’t like to harmonize, it crashes, you see?” I go next to it, one index finger hitting a certain note and the middle finger then doing the same and making a grating sound.

 

We both wince.

 

“I see. So distance helps?”

 

“Yes. Quite like how when you make glyphs, you must place them fittingly when creating them or they don’t harmonize correctly.”

 

His lips pursed a little, but there was curiosity at my enthusiasm for it. “I see. You learnt this by yourself?”

 

“Yes. I had the scientific theory from secondary school education back home. It’s mandatory for children to be educated until sixteen in my country.” I go quiet for a moment, missing it dearly, feeling the pulsing _ache_ in my chest for it. Woofers feels it and nuzzles into me. I guess I did make him for comfort and protection, like what I thought Mabari were for. Just with an edge of being able to poison his target by biting them with Inland Taipan venom. I smile at the thought with the dog nuzzling his buff head into my chin. “N’aww, buddy. So yeah, magic is music to me.”

 

Cullen put his hand to his chin, rubbing at the shadow there. “There were slips of comments I recall in the Circle I served at of songs in magic, but I’m not quite sure what. It does fit, what you say and show me. Is it different, around the rifts?”

 

“I-” I cut myself off for a second, thinking on it. “Yes, and _no_. Yes because it’s so energetic, these waves, but the Veil is… not? Like a block of sound. But sound… we hear it in our brains at the…” I put my hand to the side of my head, unsure. “Crap, what was it again? Cullen, Cullen have you ever done a smite or seen the results of the mage being in pain? Is it in the head most of all?”

 

The Commander swallowed for a second, wondering what I was thinking, worried and fascinated. “I, yes, I have. Their ears always bled afterwards. My power is diminished so it would not effect as greatly as it could. In fact, it is very weak now.”

 

I brighten up. “Good! Well, not good, the smite thing, I mean that I might be onto something here.”

 

“What something?”

 

“That not only could I potentially be able to stop a smite, everyone could have the ability to use magic!” I scramble up, putting puppy down beside me and grab his arm. “Come on! I need you to write for me!”

 

“Write? Write what?” He asked in bemusement but was ignored until we got to the cabin I had.

 

I go in quickly, stating, “Okay! Grab some quill, parchment and ink and write what I say down will you please?” Swiftly I went to my backpack to grab my anatomy book. “So the brain needs to hear sounds and then breaks them down so certain cells of us respond to different parts.” I heard the man curse as he spilt the ink bottle over but I didn’t mind that, waiting patiently as I flipped to the right page. “What needs to be done is finding the cell that responds to magic, figuring out why it does for mages and doesn’t for non-mages. Now, we also have dwarves that cannot use magic or visit the Fade in their sleep for some reason, but that’ll be another problem for another day. We’ve receptors in our bodies, perhaps one of them is switched off? Maybe there's a methyl group added? Perhaps it somehow doesn’t exist? But then why? Ah, that doesn’t matter, making it does.” I paused, thinking, biting the nail of my thumb.

 

Cullen looked up at that silence. “Why doesn’t it matter?”

 

“It’s more of a ‘let’s see if we can make it or awaken it’ thing first before we figure out the intricacies of genetics in beings here. ‘Why’ is usually the hardest question but answering the ‘how’s, when’s and what’s’ usually supplies you with the why’s.” I recall literally drinking and eating the Fade and then also that crazed woman giving me her magic. Was my head wringing then? “I think it’s simply something that needs awakening. If it wasn’t there, I’d never be able to do magic in the first place considering I come from another universe. But that might just be my breed of human. I’ll have to find a willing subject to try this on, but then I’d need to create a form of scanning microscope to see what I’m doing to replicate it with understanding.”

 

He cocks his head, syrupy eyes on me. “Scanning microscope?”

 

I nod at him and look to the book. “Something that pinpoints a location and drags it out wider to have just as clear a vision, so what you see is considered magnified. I could do that too, right?” I look to Cullen to find him already staring at me with a faint grin and ask again hopefully, “Right?”

 

“You’ve still much to learn to protect yourself while closing rifts.” He pointed out, eyebrows raised. “Not to mention etiquette lessons, language lessons, your other magic lessons with the mages – and let’s not forget eating and sleeping.”

 

I sigh unhappily, going over to him and I lean a forearm on his shoulder while my other hand was put to my waist absently. “Gets in my way of trying to benefit people, this rifty business does.” I snicker as he snorts at that. “I’ve got more important things to me than the end of the world. Jesus Christ, couldn’t the man have done this at some other time when I’m not busy and passionate about my subject? Like in ten years. Ten years sounds good.”

 

Cullen chuckled at that. “Quite. We could prepare far more adequately then. Jesus Christ?”

 

“Son of God of the Christian religion, quite like your _Maker’s Breath_ you do that I find cute,” I tease, patting his upper chest and then going to the book once more, turning around to begin pacing because it helped me think. “Okay to the smite thing. Please start writing again Cullen. Wavelengths can be construction or destructive. The wavelength of magic is constructive… No, that’s not right. Ah! But wait, if there wasn’t an ability of magic in some way in people, how do Templars even have the ability to stop magic? Only a destructive interference cancels out wavelengths to silence. So yes, everyone does have the ability but somehow it can be trained. It can be accomplished, but how do Templars gain the ability and non-magic users don’t?”

 

“Lyrium.”

 

I turn to him, closing the book, ignoring the darker intonation he put to that word. “Of course! That makes so much sense!”

 

“It does?”

 

“Yes!” I didn’t explain how that was why I had magic, imbibing pure concentrated Fade. My body wanted more magic, that’s why it took from the rifts each time. I put the book down on my desk. “And you want more right? You feel-” I cut myself off, staring at him.

 

_Hungry._

 

Cullen nodded softly, eyes closing as he admitted, “Addicted.”

 

Surprise lit in me. It was that bad for Templars? “Oh,” I say lightly, “May I try… that is to say… Do you wish to try some of my magic? Instead of lyrium? When I heal you, it feels relieving, right? Because your body’s had the dose of magic it craves?”

 

_But then what if he grew addicted to you?_

 

_You’ve a lot of magic, what if you could get the faction of them addicted to you?_

 

I snapped away from those thoughts. It didn’t have to be like that and it damn well wouldn’t, either. This one trial could go a different path.

 

It _would_ go a different path.

 

Cullen looked at me and then slowly nodded. “I, yes.”

 

I slowly reach forward, looking at his face with concentration to make sure he wasn’t backing out and slowly put a hand to his head to soothe the ache once more. I place a ball of my magic in him, quite like my little light motes I use and curiously enough, something in the back of my mind tells me where he is. He breathes out in relief. “I’ve only put some there and I don’t know how long I can leave it there, in case it potentially negatively affects you. But it doesn’t need any attention, it self-vibrates, so to speak.” What I did was give it the magic, and also the skill to suck in the magic in its aura as well as energy from himself holding it together. Quite like when I cast a spell and the excess was tugged back into me for reuse. “Should be good to go.”

 

“Just… like that?” He put a hand to chest, where I’d left it.

 

“Yes? Why not?”

 

The man put his head in his hands and I reached to him in concern. “This is…” His words were full of emotion, before lifting his head to look at me all worriedly staring at him, hands hiding his mouth. “At first I’d thought perhaps we were dealing with a madwoman, now I am feeling blessed we didn’t go with immediately killing you.” My face must have shown what I thought of that comment and he laughed. “Apologies. That was blunt. I can feel it, soft and warm, and you.”

 

I raise my brows. “I don’t think I can change that,” I say wryly.

 

The Commander stood and smiled down at me and the air suddenly changed, heated and full of potential for more. “No, it is most welcome. Compared to the feel of lyrium, sliding down my chest like some sort of oozing poison...” He leant down and kissed my cheek for a good two seconds, lingering as he pulled back. “Thank you. Know you’ve my loyalty. Anything I can do for you for changing the rest of my life, I will do it. This I swear, my lady.” He lifted my hands and kissed the back of them one by one.

 

“I-I thank you?” I stutter out, not expecting that from him. Not after we were playing with a puppy and drinking beer and having a laugh. “Uh… I can’t think now,” I say mindlessly and then close my eyes at his masculine smile at that. “Not like thaaat.” I go red and then peek to see him grinning wider at me and my reaction. “Okay well, maybe a little. You stop that smile, mister.” I grimace, gently taking my hands away and walked back as he continued to smile and walked towards me until I hit the wall. “Bah.”

 

Cullen stopped a step away from me, hands behind his back. “Now I know you reflect my emotions, I don’t think I will stop this smile. How do they court in your country?”

 

“W-What?” I move away from the wall and go by him, watching him watch me.

 

I didn’t feel wary – the air between us was rife with _intention_.

 

It made me swallow, wanting.

 

“You did say the why’s come last, so I suppose that’s why you said what?” He teased gently.

 

That made me laugh. “My own words against me.”

 

“So?”

 

“Well,” I say, flushing under his gaze. “If one likes another, attracted in a romantic fashion then they ask another out on a date. It’s just the two of them somewhere, getting to know one another, see if they click in more ways than simply being sexually attractive to one another. Go somewhere and do something both are interested in, have a laugh.”

 

His head canted to the side. “Rather like what we just did?”

 

I cough into my hand but nod. “Yes, very much like that. That was as friends though. Dating? It’s generally said beforehand, not after in my culture.”

 

“And if I wish for it to have been a meeting between potential partners? A date?” Cullen asked quietly, leaning forward. “What would you say to that?”

 

I stare at him, mouth slightly open.

 

Someone from this world?

 

Liking me?

 

I hadn’t even considered it.

 

Flirting was one thing.

 

A relationship?

 

“You… You know I aim to get home, right?” I say slowly, unsure what he would react with.

 

He nodded and straightened his back. “I understand.”

 

Loss hit me, startling me, and want made me greedily speak up, “I… did not say I was unopposed to it. Just to make you aware of... _intentions._ ” I fiddled with my fingers, looking up at him from underneath lidded lashes. Cullen’s eyes locked onto me instantly and I cock my head, peering up at him from under my lashes. I liked him, how he focused on each task so fully, how he was kind to the children of all species here, how he would laugh and listen and learn in a way I appreciated greatly. There was no ridicule or urge to one-up someone. There was genuine interest. Even when I spoke to Varric I sometimes got the feeling he was just storing everything for later use, no matter how much something I explained charmed him. “Cullen, can I kiss you?”

 

“Yes.” His eyes darkened and he bent down and I chuckled as he waited.

 

“No hands now, dear Commander,” I lower my tone, dragging it out and leaning forward, intentionally breathing against his neck. Noting I wasn’t tall enough to reach his lips, I gently drag my fingertips up the side of his abs, knowing it was a rather sensitive area and smirk to myself when he shivered reactively and place my hands on his strong shoulders. Damn. Something to be said for dating a Commander of an army. Guy was rock solid and very heated. In cold weather as this… I shake out of fantasy when I realise my fingers had been playing with the collar of his top for a few seconds and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.

 

I decide to be kind and lean my lips up his neck to his jawline, tasting the salt of his skin as I lick my lips, hovering them before his own and _accidentally_ licking his and a grunting growl came from his mouth.

 

He went to push against his lips me but I pulled back with a grin. “ _Lani._ ”

 

As much as that did things to me, making heat gather down below, I raised my brows at him. “My kiss, _my_ rules.” I state and heard his hands clenched around something. I look over, glad it wasn’t my book, and smile up at him with his half lidded expression of want on his face. I didn’t want to just yet but give in, leaning up and lightly put my lips to his kissing gently and parting slowly, taking my time and enjoying the softness of his lips. My lids close and I go for it, pressing my lips against his harder, groaning when he kissed back with as much passion, pressing his body against mine, turning the kiss hot and heavy and unable to stop himself.

 

He made my head spin with lust and buddings of affection, the scent of him pressing around me, and my magic found that very important for some reason, so I rubbed up against him, making sure I was over him as much as he was over me. It ended all too soon as I pulled back, not wanting to give too much too soon, licking my lips and parting from him, only to realise he’d broken my quill.

 

“Uh- that was- I couldn’t help it?”

 

I blink.

 

“No hands,” He informed with a sheepish grin, but not looking at all apologetic. “I’ll get you a dozen more, I promise. They’ll be there by the time you come back from Redcliffe.”

 

I burst out laughing, putting a hand in front of mouth while the other wrapped around my waist to hold my side.

 

It’d taken months here… but… maybe a few people seemed real to me.

 

Well, shit.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Needed a break from studying oxidative phosphorylation (by editing some more science haha), have this and wish me luck in my biochem test y'all, imma need it x


	9. In Which Being Laid-Back Bothers Some People

 

 

 

 

**Chapter Nine**

 

 

 

 

Varric looks at me after gently flicking through the heavy anatomy book, eyeing the pictures in awe. “You understand this?”

 

“Well, yes.”

 

“I meant the information.”

 

I give him a bewildered smile and remark, “As did I? This is your doubting me, isn’t it? My world outclasses yours in science and technology a dozen times over. Perhaps now you’ll _actually_ understand that?”

 

“And it’s all true?” He holds his hands up at my glower, knowing how protective I was of it. “Just asking. Will you read some to me?”

 

“It may bore you, but sure. Let’s slap some basics into you.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

  

I overhear the quiet conversation about my new Mabari pet before I enter the strategy room.

 

They believe me.

 

I’m too innocent and naïve not to be believed, it seems, and Cullen's enthusiasm seems to win over the Ambassador and Spymaster.

 

Good.

 

I smile to myself, pleased, and patiently give it a moment before I would enter.

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

 

 I looked around Redcliffe curiously as we got there, having recruited this Grey Warden guy that was now with us. “Nicer than Haven. Why is everywhere nicer than Haven? Seriously, Scribbler, we have to get Haven to up their game.”

 

Varric chuckled at that as he rubbed the head of the puppy in his arms. “I agree. Some dancing girls maybe?”

 

“Only if we get an equal amount of guys. Twice the fun, more opportunity for all.”

 

“I like your mind.”

 

“Equality and profit, baby.” I look around speculatively as I remark absently, “Multiple times the audience for their kinks.”

 

“Kinks?”

 

“You don’t have that word used for fetishes?”

 

“No, no, just surprised you know it. And say it so brazenly.”

 

I look at him, a bit puzzled at that. “It’s not something I’m really shifty over. Say, that building is pretty cool. I like the way it’s broken down. You can really imagine the fight there, couldn’t you? Ballistics going ballistic, you know?”

 

Varric stared at it and then at me. “Stop throwing me off. You’re all science-y, so don’t go artsy on me - I’ll feel threatened.”

 

“Throwing you off? Pretty sure that’s a failure of you, matey.”

 

“Oh, I’ll probably end up writing this story as well so I can’t be having that.” He turned to Sebastian who was quietly listening in as Cassandra and Solas spoke to Warden Blackwall, trying to suss him out still. “Make some pretty good profit on it, be more famous.”

 

“By now, aren’t you the most popular of the last decade? You write enthrallingly. I don’t know how you do it. Of course, I’m used to writing factually-”

 

Sebastian laughed as Varric responded with an, “Ouch!”

 

I blinked and then chortle to myself as I realise what it sounded like. “Ah, sorry, sorry! I meant reports! Anyway, art’s not my thing, though it’s relaxing to watch an artist draw. I had a brother who would always draw every day. Now he was the artsy one, loved to dance, played lots of instruments, always in motion, that one.”

 

“Do you have many siblings?” Sebastian asked, coming up to my side.

 

A murky well of bitterness for my situation hit me, reminding me of my ever growing dislike of this place. “No. My family is not of this world, Seb.”

 

Varric looked at me at that as my features twisted darkly, momentarily letting the hatred of this world take over me, and the Prince missed a step at me saying that. “I apologize for bringing up any bad memories; I too understand that pain. My family were murdered so rivals could take the throne.” Then he blinked. “Seb?”

 

I looked like a deer caught in head lights for a moment. “Uh…” Then I carried on, deciding to own it. “I can make it worse, you know. Sebsie, Sebbibi, Sebsiekins.” I then snorted at the names. “How badly can I mangle your name?”

 

“Seb will be fine, if you must.”

 

“Sweet, ‘cause Choirboy is Scribbles here petname and I just don’t want to get in the way of his feelings for you, you know?” I sigh, putting hand to chest, snickering when Varric poked me.

 

“Very funny, now get to healing me, Lady Herald.”

 

“So demanding,” I playfully say and then set to healing us both from evil horses and their riding killing our thighs and lower backs. “Want a heal?” I offer and he nodded hesitantly. A flare of magic, and I ease all aches and pains. “Sorry about your family, Seb.”

 

His brogue rolled out as he put a hand on my shoulder, “Thank you. It is an old pain, now.” He squeezed and let go.

 

 _Slowly_ , which made me freeze a smile on my face and my nether region pulse in attraction, magic purring, with fingers trailing before he looked away and went forth. 

 

I don't see Solas looking around at that from behind me, eyes narrowed as I slowly turn to Varric with that frozen look on my face, making him snort, having seen it all. He pat me on the back and walked after Sebastian, catching up to the guy he insulted with the word ‘nice’ to me quite often. I rub my temple, only to look up when Cassandra put a hand to my back and nodded at me. I grin and hugged her tight for a moment making her flush red when I peer up at her and waggle my brows cheekily. I let go just as quick, instead hooking onto an arm. “Thanks, lovely. Say, Cassie,” I remark leadingly, about to annoy her.

 

“Yes, Lady Lani?”

 

“Have you noticed how every single one of our male companions is attractive as all get out?” I ask, uncaring of Solas and Warden Blackwall staring at me from behind, both now wielding amused looks and trading looks. “Like damn. Visiting other countries? Oh, forget the history! It’s all about the people. You feel me?”

 

“Unfortunately.” The woman snorted, squeezing my arm to her but not actually letting go.

 

I heal her as well and she smiles at me gratefully before I grin cheekily and waggle my brows with a, “Heh heh heh.” I snicker out lowly, making her flush again on purpose and for her to shove me away. I pout at her as the two men behind me caught up and instead I slunk my arms into theirs easily, grinning at both innocently. “Gentlemen. Looking mighty fine today. How are we?” I ask playfully and Solas chuckled, appreciating my bouncing back but Blackwall had apparently been alone enough that his cheeks tinted red. “Hey, Blackwall! You’re so pretty when you blush for me. Say, how far does that go down?”

 

Blackwall coughs loudly and I smirk cheekily up at Solas, winking.

 

Solas remarked, enjoying this, “You, dear lady, are an incorrigible flirt.”

 

“Who doesn’t feel good after a bit of flirting? And I was simply in the mood for it! You know, you’ve a _wonderful_ jawline.”

 

“I am pleased you noticed!” His welsh accent said happily to me.

 

I brighten at that. “The confidence in you! I like it!” I squeeze his arm to me, putting chin on bicep and waggling brows at him, making him laugh with cheer and squeeze back. 

 

He smirks at Sebastian.

 

The Prince stares back, his back up.

 

“You.” Cassandra finally turns to me. “We need to be serious now.”

 

“That’s… surprisingly difficult, but I shall do my best.” I dropped my arms from theirs and inquired, “How do you want me to present myself, Cassandra? Chin up and proud, or cocky and flirtatious, or somewhat demure? I can do them, Lady Josie has been training me up,” I nod proudly, making Cassandra snort and give me a raised brow face of disbelief. I kept the proud look up, pretending it didn’t occur to me she was half insulting me and then letting it appear as so with a frown. “What, I couldn’t? I could make a great liar, thank you!” I play, lying, lying, lying.

 

“Indubitably.”

 

I let her have this one, inwardly smiling. “Gull and Lantern, then?”

 

Minutes later, with Woofers now in my arms, we were greeted by a wary Leader of the Free Remaining Mages… or whatever she called herself.

 

And told that they’d already pledged themselves to some Tevinter and had no authority to negotiate.

 

Until Magister Gereon Alexius made his appearance.

 

“Yes, the southern mages are under my command,” He began. “And you are the survivor, the one from the Fade. Interesting.”

 

“The ones you could find yes. The others are with the Inquisition,” I smiled widely, acting the part of preppy, pretty airhead for now. “Doing very well for themselves, mind. Even starting to get along with Templars, as well, surprisingly.” I rubbed at Woofers chin. “It’s so wonderful people are getting along, seeing the greater problem. Hey, I’m wondering about this alliance of you and the mages?”

 

“Of course, my girl, what would you wish to know?”

 

_Girl?_

I simply keep an intrigued look. _Fuck you, I’m nearer to thirty years old than some ten year old, you-_ “Indentured?” I cocked my head, keeping a smile on my face.

 

“Yes, our southern brethren have no legal status in the Imperium. As they are not native born citizens of Tevinter, they must work for a period of ten years to gain full rights and must have someone vouch for them. As their protector, I take this up and oversee their work for the Imperium and I gain helpers for my research projects.” The Tevinter smiled at me.

 

“Then I hope it goes well for them. However, I’m still in need of mages to help close the Breach.”

 

“Ah, to business! I do like a person that gets down to it! I understand,” He gestured me forth to a table and we both sat, the others watching us intently. “Felix, would you send for a scribe please?” I then noticed a rather unwell looking male come forth to us, in yellow Tevinter robes and looking like the man opposite me. “Pardon my manners. This is my son, Felix.”

 

The man bowed and I give him a winsome smile, making him blink at me in surprise and then rise while staring at me. “A pleasure to meet you,” I comment with good manners and a bow of my head, slowly turning away, eyes all toffee like and then look politely upon the Magister. “And yourself as well. Pardon _my_ manners, Magister Alexius.”

 

He seemed happy about something. “Please, Gereon will do. I’m not surprised you’re here. There is no telling how many mages will be needed for such an endeavour. Ambitious.”

 

Knew, did he? I smiled wider. “I am most sure the quality and skill of the mages under your command will be more than sufficient for this venture. You seem like you have a good eye and sense of timing, as Grand Enchanter Fiona rightly commented,” I said demurely, but with wide eyes and smiles, face brightening up in the candlelight of the backroom of the tavern.

 

So I was smooshing up to him a bit, so what?

 

He was falling for it, and Josephine is kind of my hero right now, because, her method? It’s bloody _working_ somehow.

 

“You are most kind-” His head snapped to the side, but it was me pushing Woofers to the table and getting up that grabbed the stumbling Felix that shoved something into my hand secretively. Before I could attempt to heal him, Gereon had excused himself, told me I’d have word sent to conclude this business at another time and left to get his boy his powders or healing something or other, everyone but my crew was left.

 

“What were you doing, flirting like that?”

 

“Working to my strengths, really,” I muse wryly.

 

“We do not have time for you to be fooling around and making eyes at any pretty face that comes along!”

 

I grimaced at that, rubbing the back of my neck.

 

“C’mon Seeker, it did look like it was working,” Varric stuck up for me, understanding I had hidden depths.

 

“Regardless, the Breach is a serious matter, Varric, and we cannot let her wandering eyes hinder us!”

 

I fake a wince and look away, scratching Woofers chin, but ultimately don’t care. “I’ll take this all in consideration of course, Cassandra,” No I wouldn’t, “But, uh, I do have a note.” I wave it. “Come to the Chantry. You’re in danger.” I go over to them, Mabari on my heels. “Burn it, would you please?” I ask of Solas, who nodded and acquiescingly did so, a puff of magic flaring up. “Cheers, Sol’. I really should learn elements better.”

 

“In time, it will come to you, I’m sure,” Solas smiled at me and I nodded at that with my own wry grin, fiddling with one side of the high neck silver coat I had on. “It may be best to go there as soon as possible.”

 

“Agreed. Right. Let’s boogie.”

 

“…Boogie?”

 

I ignore the dwarf, and when we got there, my hand was thrumming, so I take out my staff. “Suit up people, we’ve a rift to close.”

 

Cassandra and Blackwall were the first to open the heavy wooden doors that groaned from being pushed in, faces grim and determined. We entered and saw a mage already taking on three demons. He swirled his staff around with a flair, magic blasting out as he slammed the demons to bits in an impressive display of finesse. There were no demons attacking for a moment, so he turned to us, fiddly moustache all sorts of wonderful, and stated with camaraderie, “Oh, good!” He was highlighted green from the rift as he quipped on, “You’re finally here! Now do be a dear and help me close this, would you?”

 

I grinned at this one. “Certainly, good sir!” I take off the gloves for this, shoving them into a pocket on my belt, hand now obvious and glowing in a pulsing riveting manner now it was near a rift. The other immediately began firing, a barrier coming over me as it always did, Solas protecting me over the others. I was able to fire off a blast of pure Fade magic into the demon that just came out, a Shade, and it disintegrated in an instant but honestly, with such a large crew of experienced and well trained fighters there wasn’t much for the least trained one to do.

 

Yet… there was something unusual going on here, demons coming out faster than ever though some places around it were unbelievably slowing down the other-worldly creatures.

 

Odd.

 

And I didn’t like it.

 

So, I lifted my hand, touched the power in it with my own and set to work. The power was sucked into me swifter than ever, sealing up the Veil once more. I shuddered at the feel of it setting into me, reverting into my magic instead of the Fade magic just dissipating, expanding my magic base greatly. Every one of them that I closed made me that much more powerful, but it sure was hell on my ability to control magic. The mark on my hand tingled, and I really had to set about working on turning it into my power as well. Just so many things to do when it came to magic. I’d put this on the backburner, yet if I honestly wanted to get back home, I’d have to work on this becoming mine.

 

I stare at it with an exasperated look.

 

Glyphs.

 

I hadn’t even started on that side of things, knowing how ridiculously bad my control was in anything other than biological magical happenings.

 

I smile at Woofers as he panted up at me, tail wagging.

 

“What a happy fellow!” The lone mage came over. “And that’s quite the mark! How does it work exactly?”

 

“Oh you know,” I grin at him, leaning on my staff. “Six of one thing, half a dozen of the other.”

 

He laughed richly at that. “You don’t even know, do you? You just wiggle fingers and boom, rift closes!”

 

“Hey, I’m a relatively late magical bloomer, thanks! So, who are you?” I ask curiously, canting my head to the side.

 

“Ah, I am Dorian of House Pavus, most recently of Minrathous. How do you do?”

 

Smiling, I reply, “How do you do? I am Lani, rift tamer of the Inquisition!” I announce hand waving outwards and twirling three times.

 

“Oh, mind my manners.” He copied my bow perfectly and rose, apparel glinting prettily. “I hadn’t knowledge of any southerners knowing Tevinter greetings.”

 

“We southerners may yet surprise you more then!” I laugh and waggle my brows.

 

“Indeed so!” Dorian smiled at me, and I inwardly cheered at getting him on my side, warming up to me.

 

Cassandra spoke up with a grudging, disliking, “Another Tevinter. Be cautious with _this_ one.”

 

The moustachioed man raised his brows. “Such suspicious friends you have!”

 

“The reputation of your countries people proceeds them, unfortunately,” I say and shrugged in a ‘what can you do?’ fashion. “And Magister Gereon Alexius came off as a little…” I turn to Varric.

 

The dwarf smirked. “Slimy? Creepy?”

 

“Ob-something.”

 

“Obsequious?” He gave me a look, as if surprised.

 

Not sure why.

 

I was pretty much just academic-smart over anything else.

 

Still, I snapped my fingers. “That! Oh, you are just too good, Scribbles.” I nod, impressed, and turn to Dorian. “And typical, too. See, this is why you have an author around. Pretty handy with his Bianca, too. Uh. Ask about her some other time,” I add on, seeing the Tevinter’s intrigued look. “So, why are you here and not Felix? Is he okay by the way?”

 

“He’s had a lingering illness for months. Felix is an only child, and Alexius is being a mother hen, no doubt.” He sighed. “Look, you must know there’s danger. That should be obvious without the note.”

 

“Oh wow, news to me,” I replied blandly. “The eyes just usually distort their light receptors to recreate a revolving lime-coloured doom rip in the stratosphere, don’t they?”

 

The man gawked at me for a moment. “I… receptors?”

 

“Eyes are light receptors. Now, we have three types of photoreceptor cells in the body, rods, cones and- wait, I’ll tell you later.” He was still staring. “Why do people give me this look? I get it _far_ too often and I’m starting to feel offended.”

 

“Merely stunned by knowledge from one as cute as you.”

 

“Cute,” I deadpan. “ _Cute?_ You know what? No. So, Alexius?”

 

Dorian nodded acquiescingly. “Right. So let’s start with Alexius claiming the allegiance of most of the mage rebellion out from under you.”

 

“Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.” I nod, frowning.

 

Dorian nodded as well. “As if by magic yes? Exactly so. Alexius distorted time itself.”

 

“Oh gimme a break…” I grumble to myself, having watched way too much sci-fi tv shows to know that would go nowhere well.

 

“That is fascinating if true. And almost certainly dangerous,” Solas spoke up from behind. “Does that account for the irregularities of this rift?”

 

The Tevinter nodded. “Yes, it does. And soon there will be more like it, and they’ll expand out further and further away from Redcliffe.”

 

“Then we must halt it at the source,” Sebastian stated and I looked back at him, nodding strongly in agreement.

 

Cassandra was the one to play devil’s advocate with a, “Do you have evidence to support this time magic, Tevinter?”

 

Dorian pursed his lips at that, knowing he was telling the truth and not being believed for it was grating. I could understand. The only reason the Commanders of the Inquisition believed me was because of my clothing, knowledge and book quality that was, quite literally, out of this world. “I was Alexius’s apprentice, I know what I’m talking about. It was theory at the time and neither of us could get it to work. However, I don’t understand why he was doing it. Ripping apart time to get a few hundred minions?”

 

“Can’t be just that,” Varric inserted, arms crossed.

 

“Doesn’t make for a good story, right Varric?” I throw a grin over my shoulder, and the dwarf winked at me in approval. “See? I can learn the arts.”

 

“We’ll make a storymaker out of you yet, experimenter.”

 

Felix came in at that. “He didn’t do it for them. I thought he’d be fussing over me all day. My father has joined a cult,” The ill man said to me, frowning. “Tevinter supremacists calling themselves Venatori. He’s done it to get to you.”

 

I justly wasn’t that surprised. “Alright, so we’ve got to stop him from gaining the mark. Who do Venatori work for?”

 

“I don’t know. I don’t think they do?”

 

I hold my hand up. “Nah, nah, nah. Cults have leaders. Cults _always_ have leaders. Some nutter is at the top promising something that won’t ever happen. That’s how it goes,” I state, arms crossing. “He’s a Tevinter, so what would he promise that would have others going along with it that could be about Tevinter?”

 

Dorian and Felix looked at each other grimly, one idea clearly in their head. “Power to make the Imperium ‘the great empire of old’ again,” Dorian answered me with pursed lips. “Taking over the other countries so Tevinter Imperium is the dominant force once more.”

 

I whistled, rolling back and forth on my feet. “I’ll give it to them, their timing really is good. Civil war in Orlais, big old Breach down south, mage rebellions – perfect time for a multiple-country-coup. Couldn’t think of a better chance.” Honestly, I didn’t have any attachment to any country here so it didn’t bother me, which is why I was easily able to take that on. And a cult wanting to get a hold of me not frightening me much? It’s not unexpected. It really isn’t. “Especially if you were to get the figurehead of the Herald to be converted to them or forced to do their bidding. Would look like they not only had control but could use it well and wow and make the other countries weaker and submit to them.”

 

“You really are rather laid back about this all, aren’t you?” The mage questioned in fascination, somewhat jovial and somewhat incredulous.

 

“I’ve enough on my plate with the rifts and Breaches and my magic, I’ll leave Tevinter Imperium politics to the Tevinter’s and the people I know getting information on them - until the Venatori come for me, that is.”

 

“Yes, waiting until it explodes in your face like gaatlok is reasonable,” Dorian replied with slight sarcasm in his voice.

 

“Gaatlok?” I blink.

 

“The explosive power Qunari use?”

 

“Riiiight, Gotcha. Completely forgot about that for a second.” I nod, but still have no clue.

 

Explosive powder though?

 

Like, uh, gunpowder? Damn, they could make that? I recall it being three ingredients, sulphur like the fires of hell and potassium nitrate because it was the most difficult to remember, but what was the last bit?

 

Dorian suddenly seemed to want to leave, shifting. “Listen, we’ve been here too long. I’ll meet you when you’re ready.”

 

“You don’t want to come with us to headquarters for your safety?” Leliana would love to get her claws in him.

 

It’s like he could smell the trap. “I’ve a few things to do, good lady. I’ll see you there and keep in touch with you. Felix, try not to die.” The man left with a swish of fashionable Tevinter robes and Felix bowed to us, departing a different way.

 

Varric came up to me, looking at me with a little concern on his face. “Some food for thought there, huh, experimenter? You don’t seem surprised?” He commented.

 

“Why should the Herald be surprised?” Warden Blackwall said for the first time since the Tevinter’s showed up that day. “Someone always wants power and that mark is, well, a very big mark on her back.”

 

“What he said. It’s not as though Leliana hasn’t told me of the assassins after me,” I respond, but really, it just doesn’t feel real.

 

And it was easier to deal with that way.

 

Damn do I want my home.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 


	10. Hidden Fears

 

** Chapter Ten **

 

 

 

The journey back home is a quick two day ride on horseback. Some of the scouts under Leliana had managed to convince the Horse Master of giving them and himself over a while back after completing a few things for him, which was great because damn did we need them, though space was quite limited as Haven was never that big. It seemed that same crew had come back from the fortress in the north, speaking good things of it to the Spymaster I was now with an hour later and joined by Cassandra, the pair of us reporting to the other three.

 

“That’s great news! We can start sending people there to clean up and begin loading up supplies, right?” I look down at the reports in my hand, quickly reading through. “Ah, you already are. Excellent, excellent,” I absently murmur, “Quite the bit of damage. Hole in the prison cells? Wonder if there was a breakout of some kind. Fascinating stuff. Wonder if So’ knows more.”

 

The spymaster eyed me, taking in all I did and the ease of relationship I had with Solas to simply shorten his name. “We already have a force partly there doing patrols around the area, but one can apparently see for miles around it at all angles. A most wonderful base. We are lucky to have our Fade Expert.” Leliana nodded, satisfied by my response. “It will take quite the time to repair, but Josephine is on the case, getting funds to come in for that specific need. Right now, we are sectioning off areas and beginning to mill some of the ground for farming potion ingredients and kitchen ingredients. Supplies are slow to come in, but we have what we need to clean, repair and grow in the fortress.”

 

“When it is of greater standard, we should relocate most of our soldiers there and leave the people of Haven to go back to normal for them,” Cassandra said, reading over my shoulder. “It should be done soon.”

 

“And we should leave the people of Haven reparations for what is essentially a takeover of their village,” Josephine added on. “Better tools for their trades, perhaps?”

 

“Agreed,” Cullen concurred shortly and I look up at him, seeing him watch me with darker eyes than usual, unblinking and making me swallow and look back down at the papers casually. “The better protected the Inquisition and the Herald is, the better for us all.” His gaze was off me for a second, and I could feel it _peel_ off of me and leave me able to breathe again as he turned to look down. “Hello Woofers, boy. Have you been looking after your mistress well?” He chuckled and picked up the war hound caringly, Ferelden through and through.

 

I flushed when I realised how affectionate the dog was being to him and that Woofers being a creation of mine had taken on _my_ liking of people.

 

And he was very happily licking the man.

 

Damnit all but I had to push down the envy, wanting to have _my_ tongue on certain parts of the man.

 

Ugh. Seriously?

 

I need to get laid.

 

My eyes look at the Commander.

 

_Preferably by…_

 

The bell rang ten times, and I hum. “Yeah, I’m going to bathe and sleep now.”

 

“Oh! I may join you!” Josephine perked up. “I wanted to try that shampooing oil of yours, if I may be so bold?”

 

I brighten, liking company. It’d been weird to get used to at first, communal bathing, but now it was just a gossip session and chattering over new beauty treatments and such. “Not at all, lovely! Let’s go quickly, I smell of horse.”

 

A giggle, and Josephine whisks me away.

 

It’s when I touch the glyph that refills the pool and then reheat the bath that Josephine begins to ask, “So, may I enquire something?”

 

I ignore the urge to give the irritable reply of ‘ _you just did_ ’ and look at her with a nod as we undress. “Sure.”

 

“I happen to notice the Commander looking at you, rather intently too,” She began with a small smile to herself, toying with me.

 

Of course it was this.

 

No point being stupid about it. If she’d seen that, she’d likely seen me do it to, with or without my knowledge. “Yes, I saw it. I’m worried that placing any potential affection of mine in his hands to care for is the wisest course, considering he’s ex-Templar.”

 

Josephine sank into the water with a sigh. “I understand. It is something to be concerned with, but it is for you to speak with him about yes?”

 

“It is.”

 

“He is not the only one.”

 

Now that was news. I look up, befuddled by that. “He’s… not?”

 

She smile as I got in, slinking up to me, turning me to take my long hair out of the constant bun it was in and dunk my head. She hummed happily as she played with the strands that had grown long over the near half a year I had been here. I watched as servants come in with baskets, placing them down and gathering our used clothing and leaving with bows I nodded back to with a smile. “Solas has always had an eye out for you and is a wonderful protector.” She pushed me up and plucked shampoo from the basket and poured some into her hand, then beginning to wash my locks carefully. “And our dear Starkhaven Prince… a marriage to you would bring great tidings to his people. He aims to hold Kirkwall in his hands through goodwill or not. His plans are not hidden to myself and Leliana, and having you as a bride… we could have better trade, more people and more power. It is his plan, coming here, having heard tale of the young woman who is the Herald of Andraste.”

 

Even in bathtub I couldn’t get away from politicking, could I?

 

“The Prince, huh? He does have that incredible Scottish accent,” I say, wistful.

 

“Scottish?”

 

“Yes. Scotland. One of the countries we share an island nation with. It’s funny they both wear kilts of their clan. Josephine, I would end up in your family, can’t you marry your other sister off to him and have a tenuous link that way?” I joke, but the woman gives me a thoughtful look as she begins to lower me in the tub and wash my hair. “Josephine? Josie? Phi-Phi?”

 

She scoffs at the last one and I grin. “Not again, you. That could be done. Sebastian seems to approve of the younger type and be protective.”

 

“I’m not that young, you know.”

 

Josephine blinked at me. “Are you not eighteen?”

 

“Eighteen? Where on Earth are you getting that information from?” I question, utterly bewildered and raising my head as all the suds went. “Josephine, I’m twenty seven. Or is it eight now?” I mentally calculate how long I’d been here, comparing it to back home’s calendar. “Yes, actually, some weeks back I turned twenty-eight.”

 

She gawped at me. “How are you so youthful? Even your energy and face are of a younger person!”

 

I grab and squelch conditioner in my hair as I begin, “They are? I suppose I am generally happy, yes. However, it _is_ my age, so I would appreciate not being treated as if I am just an adult out of childhood by the others. As seems to constantly happen.” I turn her around, duck her head under carefully and raise her, taking the shampoo and lathering up her hair. “But it is also how my people are. Most of us live to at least to eighty years old. It also helps I’m excellent at the knowledge of human body structure and function and it processes and getting just as good at healing so my body remains top-notch,” I state factually. “I’ve been learning this body stuff - let’s see - a summer plus two years previous to uni for a-levels and then two and a half at uni, plus this past half year for my magical healing… Nearly six years, wow.”

 

“So you could, perhaps, heal yourself of aging effects?”

 

I slowly dunk her, considering it as I scrub the lather out. “Could I? I mean… why not?”

 

“I hope so. I would love to have retained my youth until death.”

 

“It’d take considerable research.”

 

“We have time, yes? After the Breach closes, we must hurry to build up Skyhold further and secure ourselves as a power. Solas believes the Breach to close all the others, but we cannot be sure after all. Who knows if there’s leftovers to be closed?” She mused, but I could tell it was more of her beloved politics and smoozing in her head to what she would say to others. After months of working with her in Haven, she trusted in me and was open about that part of herself, the part that delighted in tearing enemies to shreds with honeyed words for more than a greater cause, rather because I enjoyed seeing it. “I would have us as a power. Just in case.”

 

“True. Josie-baby, I will be happy to continue French and Spanish with you as well as help with the letters – we mix those well – but as we get closer to the Breach closing with these mages, I’m going to focus on my magic and fighting defence. I’ll have to drop the other parts of etiquette and houses and heraldry and leave that in your capable hands.”

 

“I understand the need to do so. I will miss your company, sister.”

 

“As will I, Josie.” I smile at her warmly and hug her around the shoulders from behind.

 

“You know, considering we will be Montilyet’s, I should tell you of our siblings…”

 

Siblings.

 

I wonder what happened to my brother, Jerome.

 

And my family.

 

My parents couldn’t have children, and so they adopted. I was the younger child, and I was white and Brit, but my brother Jerome, he was black and from Jamaica, his parents good friends with my adoptive friends, and when they’d died in a car crash, they’d instantly adopted him. He was the artsy child, ever the drawer and the one that loved poetry and being emotive, the one that showed me the beauty of life. I was the scientist and lover of knowing why things were as they were, the researcher, the one that kept my head in the clouds brother down to earth by helping him into wherever he wanted to go because I adored the focused bugger. He was protective over me, less socially popular as I was.

 

What would happen if I came back home, and it wasn’t home?

 

I closed my eyes.

 

What if it was, and I wasn’t me anymore? 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

I hadn’t expected to see Cullen patiently waiting in front of my cabin with Woofers in his arms, but I had left the dog with him after all.

 

Woofers was the first to notice me, jumping out his arms and causing the man alarm. He barked happily and skidded to a halt in front of me when I put my hand out in a stop motion. He panted up at me, quivering with excitement and I grinned, opening my blanket over my shoulders and laughing when he pounced on me, a complete ball of energy. I raised my head when he tried to lick my face in greeting. “I just got cleaned, c’mon puppikins! Gah!” Still, there was a glow of happiness in me at such a welcoming and I hugged him tightly, burying my face in his fur.

 

“Aren’t you a sight?”

 

My eyes peek up at Cullen now in front of me and my dog, affection on his face as he smiled at us. “You are quite forward aren’t you?”

 

“If there is a chance you will be gone soon, then I have no reason to hold back and if there stands a chance you will stay, then we can slowly explore us afterwards. If it’s too much, I’ll stop. I just… do not have much in my life I wish to care for and show I do,” He admitted, clearly hiding some nervousness.

 

I go red. I’m not used to such things, but there’s a growing stupid grin on my face. “I like you.”

 

“I would hope so.” He raises a brow.

 

I drop the dog from in front of my face slightly, giving him a look and making him smirk. “Hush you. C’mon, I have some mead inside. Join me?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Inside was warm from Nina leaving the fireplace lit. A bit dangerous, wasn’t it? Then I noted the glyphs on the side. Ah. How’d I never notice that? I put the dog down, grinning as he began to play tug of war with Cullen’s furred cloak and the man snorted, scooping the dog up and roughly playing with him, which Woofers adored and got into as I poured drinks, adding some Antivan brandy to it and went over to the fire place sitting down cross-legged. I was immediately joined, happy dog in front of us on his back and wiggling around as Cullen took the drink. “So, Josie still seems intent on having me as a sister. I admit, at first, realising how manipulative she can be, I honestly thought she was just playing me – and what choice did I have? I don’t know this place, and knowing what we do about the Venatori, I’d have ended up a Tevinter slave probably.”

 

“To be honest, we’d have taken you back and kept watch on you. Knowing that you come from elsewhere, we’d have tried to be kind, but you wouldn’t be free.”

 

“Figured as much.” I sipped my drink. ‘ _It wouldn’t have kept me in though_ ,’ I thought to myself. ‘ _My magic would have gotten me out. Even if it was back into the Fade and another of those crazy women._ ’ I swish the alcohol around in my mouth. I said to him, “No hard feelings though.”

 

He chuckled at that, a little relieved. “Lani, there was a look on your face as you came back?”

 

“Saw that, did you? Ever since I’ve been here, I’ve been puzzling back home to get home, every day. See those?” I murmur, staring at the fire and then point at several huge sheathes of parchments. “That’s everything I could think of to get home. Say the answer is in there. I’m the only one with magic there. What the hell would happen?” I had no illusions about my people. Media was insane, each government would be trying to get a hold of me, especially the British and Chinese one I held dual-citizenship in. Varric called me experimenter, and yet the thought of being experimented on was terrifying. And what would happen to the people here if mine found a way to get here? Magic would only do so much against the billions of people there. “It’s not a pretty picture. My people are technologically, scientifically and militaristically ages ahead of you guys.”

 

“What are you saying?”

 

‘ _I’m saying…_ ’ I frown, knowing what I meant. Because what if I could only have magic here? Above all, I’d miss it the most. I didn’t want it to go. I wasn’t like Cassandra that had as much power as Leliana in this Inquisition but then let go of it to follow. I had always lead, had always had to deal with younger people that didn’t want the responsibility of leading and took it upon myself. Unwillingly as well at first, yes, but then readily because I enjoyed it. I liked having power and doing things and I damn well took the consequences as well. “I’m thinking about staying, if only ten percent of me is.” I reach forward and pet a drowsy Woofers that woke up and little and nuzzled into my hand. I smile at that. “A lot can go wrong at trying to get back.”

 

“Do you think it possible you would die doing so?”

 

“Not so much from what’s in there, in the Fade, but the power it may take. It’s why we’re going after mages, after all.”

 

“We can still go after the Templars.”

 

“For Cassandra’s sake we’re going to find out, because if the tales I’ve heard from the mages here are anything to go by, they’ll need to be watched.”

 

Cullen sighed sharply, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I wish I could say otherwise.”

 

“Have you done something in the name of Templars, Cullen? Technically you were once a jailor of my type of people.”

 

His eyes closed and his shoulders sagged. “From young, Templars are taught, no, brainwashed, to think of mages as creatures to be contained for everyone’s safety. However, from being around the more powerful mages, I have learnt many lessons. Emotion and fear drives them to greater temptations because demons are drawn to them. It is the youth that need to be trained in control, both magically and emotionally. It is why I worry for you.” Then he quieted his voice and looked at me, remarking, “I don’t know why you would give an older man like me a chance, a once Templar.”

 

“Josephine thinks I’m eighteen or nineteen.”

 

“You… are not?”

 

Exasperation clouded me. “No. No, I’m not. You thought that too?” I ask and he nodded, intrigued. “I’m twenty eight.”

 

“Only three years my younger?”

 

“Does everyone really believe I’m so young as to be eighteen?”

 

“It’s your features. You are very attractive to us all. It’s called years of good health and not many of us here have it,” Cullen chuckled, sipping his drink. “Only nobles have as good as health as you do, and even then they made have a tooth missing or wrinkles.”

 

“Drink more water and eat more vegetables and you’ll have fresher skin, as well.”

 

“I shall do so then. If only to keep you attracted to me,” The Commander spoke and smirked at my silly grin. “Not that it seems to take a lot.”

 

I laughed at that. “No, indeed!”

 

He smiles at me, but then his thoughts go dark. “To continue your question… yes. There was the thought that mages were little more than toys of demons, so many ridiculous rumours that became more believable. The worst was me writing to Orlais to have the Right of Annulment done during the time of Meredith’s reign in Kirkwall because I thought it better to put a threat down.”

 

Oh.

 

“A good hundred people would have died for no reason other than the possibility of what they could do.”

 

Fuck.

 

I watched as he caved in on himself. “I-I… I understand if you cannot accept me, even if my powers are diminished greatly.”

 

I said nothing, simply watching the sheer self-loathing wash over his face.

 

Only the fire made any noise.

 

Woofers was the part of me that comforted him, the dog crawling on his lap and whimpering and digging his head in to comfort.

 

I was quiet for a few long moments, processing that.

 

Then, “I need you to smite me.”

 

His head jerked up. “What?! No,” He stated, appalled.

 

“You said you’d help me before.”

 

“After this talk?!”

 

I nod once. “Yes. You said your powers were diminished, yes?”

 

“Why _now?_ ”

 

“Because I don’t know what to do with you now, so… Huh. I react with science. Do it.” I sit down as I throw up a barrier to block all that went on here, or at least mask the Templar powers because my own magic would overwhelm it.

 

The man doesn’t seem to know what to do with me. “That makes no… very well. Be prepared.” He lifts a hand, concentrated for a good minute. Then he grimaces and looks upon my face with want for me to tell him to stop and slumps. “Forgive me, it is hard to do this to one you care for.” My eyes narrow at this, chin rising. He sighs, relenting. “Yet, I see you will not concede until I do so.” His hand lifts again and a steely glint comes to his eyes even as his hands wobbles and his lips pull down. The blast of it frazzled me, making me – yes, my ears ring my head pound in pain and I staggered even while on the floor. But I’d been working hard of my healing and lock down in my head the piece that truly hurts. I focus on it, memorise its position. It took a couple moments for me to narrow it down, but I nodded and let my magic fly.

 

Cullen took in the flair of orange and how I was fine, but had to check, “Lani, are you-?”

 

I scramble up, cutting him off with my actions and go and grab my quill ink and parchment. “Completely, yes. Hm.”

 

He gawped at me, dazed at the recovery.

 

I don’t see the sudden serious concern on his face.

 

“Please write for me.” I hand him the things and he slowly takes them, making sure I was actually up and ready and rearing to go before shaking his head in breathless disbelief, eyes widened. “It has come to my attention that the Templars do indeed have a form of soundwaves that cause destructive sounds between the Mages magical core. It makes sense that Templars powers boost in the presence of others, the same as Mages, for the amplitude doubles, but when two opposite but similarly powered soundwaves are thrown together, as in the case of Mage waves and Templar waves, one Magic is cancelled out. There are possibilities as to why it is Mage Magic and not Templar Magic that is cancelled. The main theory for me is the use of staff will control and corral an amount of magic whereas Templar hands do not and therefore there is less for soundwaves to travel through.”

 

“Travel through?”

 

“What’s louder? The sound of a clap in front of you, or one through a wall?”

 

Cullen slowly nodded in understanding.

 

I go to my research writings. “Another could be something to do with the Fade and it being organically made and as such harmonizes more with the world and expels into it more easily, thus losing its efficiency, compared to the concentrated form of the lyrium that is manmade, in a fashion, and wouldn’t harmonize and would retain its concentration without saturating the environment.” I pace for a bit. “As it is indeed magic that Templars have, this means anyone, in theory, could have magic if they get their hands on lyrium. It will be utterly uncontrolled from these people. But, underlying all this is the theory that everyone can use magic. Now I have to figure out if it’s from the bones in our ears, the cochlea which has a fluid that ripples inside that may be different or maybe it’s the stereocillia with added chemicals.” I noted him writing it all down, watching him for a moment, mind going blank.

 

He looked at my still and quiet person, then smiled at me, both bewildered and smitten and something else.

 

I swallow and then clear my throat. “That’s, uh. That’s all I can think for now.”

 

“You’re incredible and terrifying, you know that?”

 

I give him my own confused look. “Aha… Thank you?”

 

Cullen just half grinned at me, looking somewhat shell-shocked, then kissed my cheek and left with a murmured goodbye and good luck on my work with me watching him leave.

 

I look at the door.

 

Something felt… different now?

 

He and I were suddenly, very clearly, _not okay._

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna go with Antiva=Spanish and Rivain=Italian. But I've seen it could be the opposite, just here in the fic is this. Title refers to Cullen.


	11. Again and Again

 

 

** Chapter Eleven **

 

 

 

I hadn’t really noticed the correlation between me able to heal a ‘ _smite_ ’ relatively swiftly to their greater presence, but the next day, Solas and Leliana were both in my life more.

 

There were certainly more eyes on me, making me uncomfortable.

 

It just made me want to retreat more, hide away talents.

 

This had to be controlled somehow.

 

My thoughts went to Nina.

 

Perhaps she could be of more use?

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“So, what shall you offer in exchange?”

 

“Ah, this may be forward of me, but many little birds have tweeted in my ears of a cult called the Venatori. I’d wondered if you’d tell me more of them?” I smile glibly, holding my heavier Mabari pup. Woofers was getting big already, made to be big quickly.

 

Gereon narrowed his eyes slightly, keeping his smile on. “Now, where could you have heard that name?”

 

I was about to demur on that topic, but Felix was the one to say, “I told her.”

 

_Damnit, Felix!_

 

I’d wanted to bat around with information, lure him into an emotional state to get just one reason to apprehend him and use him-

 

“Felix, what have you done?” A tone of worry sprang through Gereon’s voice.

 

Maybe it was getting there anyway?

 

“Your son is worried you’re doing something terrible, Magister Gereon,” I say softly. “Listen, go home, spend time with him. I would go home if I could-”

 

“So speaks the thief!”

 

I-What?

 

_Thief?_

 

“You walk in my stronghold with your stolen mark – a gift you don’t even understand – young, foolish, _simplistic_ , and think you’re in control, girl?”

 

_Simplistic? Sim-fucking-plistic? Me?_

 

My smile only widened, anger simmering in me. I did my best to keep hold of my magic, struggling with it lashing in me. “Something akin to that.”

 

“You’re nothing but a mistake!” He snapped, standing up.

 

I also get up, shooing Woofers over to Solas. “You seem to be in the know, dear man,” I say calmly, still smiling. No teeth gritting. But a lace of sarcasm was in the undertone of my, “Do tell,” as I look down my nose at him as best I could considering his taller height.

 

“It was to be a triumphant moment for the Elder One, for the world!” He breathed out, somewhat desperate.

 

I opened my mouth, but Felix once again spoke up, making me snap my teeth shut in one show of annoyance, a dark look on my face before a moment before I go neutrally blank. “Father, do you know what you sound like? Listen to yourself!”

 

“The sort everyone believes us to be, clichéd villains. How common, Alexius,” Dorian came out, tutting and shaking his head, giving a deeply disappointed look a father would to a son at his mentor.

 

“I gave you a chance,” Alexius waved his hand. “The Elder One had power like you wouldn’t believe. He will raise the Imperium from its own ashes.”

 

Dorian threw me a, “Seems you were right. Ugh, I detest how base that is, my lovely Herald. He was a mage and the one to kill the Divine, I take it? Try to rule over everything?”

 

“Soon, he will become a god!”

 

Dorian and I groaned in unison, rolling eyes in sync and then looking at each other in camaraderie.

 

“Stop it, father! Give up this madness, this ridiculous cult! Let the mages go with the Inquisition,” Felix pleaded, going up to his father. “Let’s go _home._ ”

 

Alexius shook his head. “No, it’s the only way to save you Felix!”

 

“Save me? I’m going to die, you need to accept that. Let us have my remaining time together - not in bloody combat with a crazed man wishing to be a god.”

 

I cock my head. “What _are_ you ill with? I’m a rather proficient healer. It’s my forte. Come with us, use your excellent talents for the Inquisition, and I will focus on healing your son.”

 

“You, save him from Blight Sickness?” Gereon seemed not to believe me, discrediting me.

 

Perhaps I shouldn’t have played the cute and easily duped card to get him to lower his defences?

 

“I heal. It’s kind of my thing.”

 

“No. It won’t work! You should never have existed!” His hand dug in his pocket, taking out a smooth dice-like cube and holding it up and I widened my eyes at the glowing green that pulsed like the Breach and rifts did.

 

_Maybe that could help me get home!_

 

“No!” Dorian cried out, slamming a bolt of energy into it and it flew from Alexius hands, vibrating loudly and then a whirling portal appeared before myself and Dorian, pulling us in swiftly and sucking us through.

 

I saw odd shapes, shadows and blurs of energy that had an odd familiarity to them as well as an odd sense of deja vu as I went through before having to slam my eyes closed tight and my grip held sure on my staff. What the hell was this weird trip? I slunk my magic out, testing, and once again my magic was greedy for more of it – were we in the Fade?!

 

My magic reacted with my excitement, disrupting the traveling and its own intake of Fade magic once more and the pair of us slammed to the wet ground.

 

Dizzy and discombobulated – and what an excellent time to use that word, my unhelpful conscience noted happily – I choke on tepid, stinking water that tasted beyond disgusting and stand up swiftly, gasping and spluttering as I staggered. Water dripped from me and I coughed, getting spits filled with mould fly from my mouth. I was stunned for a moment, unable to comprehend that this bullshit was happening to me again.

 

_A-fucking-gain._

 

And what the hell was up with the place? With the time magic? With the fact I just kept up sucking magic up with no ability to stop it? I sucked in a heavy breath as Dorian went on about ‘arcane energy’ and then breathed out shakily, putting a fisted hand to forehead when he spoke of ‘us look around’ only to finally notice I wasn’t listening much.

 

“Dear girl, are you quite alright? I understand this is quite the spectacular achievement, and it is terrifying-”

 

“Terrifying?!” I retort hotly, rage boiling under my skin at the sheer lack of control I had in my life.

 

Dorian jerked, astonishment at the sudden fury on my face.

 

First through space and now through time?! I grit my teeth and then snap my eyes to the side at the sound of feet, staff flying out and a perfect arc of energy slashed through Venatori necks cleanly. The decapitated bodies fell with splashes, bubbles spurting from necks and reddish-pink clouded around them. “I’m just dandy thank you!” I scoff and then reign it in. Stiff upper lip. I exhaled long and angrily and then breathe in slowly. It takes a few seconds but I reconnect my eyes with his. “Now, I’d thought it possible to travel through time, but only forward, which, considering the build-up of detritus and red lyrium and a shocking lack of regard to plumbing, is likely where we are. I’d always thought going back in time was the impossible thing.”

 

“You are familiar with time theories?” Dorian asked, impressed, clearly over my anger if I was and beginning to guide us out and simply stepping over bodies.

 

Well, most people into sci-fi or fantasy had some experience with it. “Of some, yes. Hopefully we haven’t ended up in some other multi-verse.”

 

“Multi-verse?”

 

I hadn’t realised that was a question for a second as we went through cells, eyes peeled for more trouble. “Yes?”

 

“Elucidate! I am intrigued!”

 

“Multiple universes. We could be in a whole other world that has a Redcliffe castle but when we exit, we’re in a desert, or tropical paradise. Then there’s multiple timelines. Imagine if just now, I ignored you? That’s a timeline that never happened. It travels alongside our one and branches off into its’ own millions of possibilities, like if I’d ignored you _and_ gone left instead of going up stairs as we’re doing,” I explain. “Both ways, we know our key to our homeland and time is Magister Alexius and the cube he has. It’s really not hard to understand. Any idiot could get it.”

 

I thought of the stupid stone that got me here in this-

 

It was in the Fade.

 

I… I dropped it in the Fade, not this world!

 

Summoning spell, perhaps? But what demon could I try and bargain with? In sleep, I’d always kept a barrier over me when in the Fade, keeping everyone away. That one Solas had taught me when he noticed me unable to sleep in the Hinterlands and I explained why. I shook my head, realising Dorian was staring at me. “But we have to investigate first. That,” I look at the red lyrium everywhere, pulsing temptingly, “Is something we need to look into.”

 

“You’re quite right. What Circle did you hail from? You are a First Enchanter, yes?”

 

“No. I’m apostate. My magic came in one hundred and ninety eight days ago,” I inform promptly. I woke up every day, telling myself the number as the first thing I did.

 

“What?” He squawked at me. “Surely not!”

 

“Yup.” I pause, feeling something flare weakly, like a blip on a radar in my subconscious. It then occurs to me I do not feel Cullen, even though a portion of my magic still feels gone. “This way. I feel Solas.”

 

“How on Thedas do you feel him?”

 

“Maybe I’m just better at magic than you?” I quip and snicker at his snort, guiding him. We kill off a couple of Venatori and I didn’t say much as he spoke on things we passed as if to fill the silence of me not talking. He was likely nervous about not going back, but frankly, I wasn’t much in connection with this world, like I was walking through a funfair horror house and things were just cardboard cut-outs or well-made props. I half expected a jump scare or a room of mirrors. It’s hard to explain the stark dissociation I was having with all of this. Only myself and magic and Dorian felt real to me, oddly enough.

 

We found our companion quickly, with Dorian being a look out in the hall and I go into the jailing area. Solas looked upon us in wonder, coming up to hold the bars to his jail. “You really are alive!” His voice was double toned, eyes glimmering an intoxicating red. “I had not thought it real, but your magic was so different to the red lyrium that I had to try calling out… How did you know? Could you feel my call? And _how?_ ”

 

“I just could.” I reply, confused as I opened the cell with a key from the Venatori guarding the area. “You were calling, so I came to help you.”

 

The door swung open inwards, and Solas came forward and grasped my cheeks, looking at me, bewildered but clearly relieved. “I don’t understand. Only my kind should be able to hear it.” He tilted my head to look at my ears, cupping one of them. “You are not Elvhen but…” His lips twitched as I reactively shuddered at him touching the shell of my ear. “Perhaps we are not so different, you and I.”

 

Not about to have him just touching me, I easily took a hold of his ears and gently tugged at them, making him suck in a breath in surprise and swallow. “I’ve never had the guts to do this or say this, but you do have the cutest elf ears I’ve seen.” Still holding, I tapped the ends of them with my index fingers and smirk when he grit his teeth, hips flexing. “Maybe not so different indeed, ah?” I tease playfully, letting my magic tap at his happily and then let go and step back to go out to Dorian’s side, who’d been watching out for us.

 

It made him jolt into action, his own magic weakly holding mine to his, needful for touch. “The Elder One Alexius spoke of, he now reigns unchallenged, assassinating Empress Celene, invading Orlais in the chaos and then the south with an army of demons.”

 

I nod and then begin to lead him out with Dorian. “Anything else I can report back to the others in the past so we made strengthen ourselves?”

 

“Barrier Skyhold as fast as possible, Haven is not greatly defensible, as you well know.” The elf continued, breathing hard and I grasp his hand, letting my magic swirl in and heal him.

 

It’s then I stop.

 

“You’ve an infection.”

 

“The red lyrium?” Dorian asked and I nodded, focusing on the hand in my grasp. “So it is some sort of disease.”

 

“Pathogenic. Hmm. Fungal or… Bacterial. You refuse lyrium – did they make you eat the red version?” He shook his head and I nod in accord with that. “Good.” I knew from Cullen and myself that drinking from lyrium and magic, it made it go into the body quicker. I sorely wished I had produced a decent magical scanning technique. All I could do is run my magic through his body and heal what I could because I didn’t know exactly what to look for. A surprising amount of his body had inflammation, suggesting to me more of a bacterial disease. It was definitely some sort of infection, parasitical in nature and I focused deeper on understanding it. There were crystals in him and these crystals were sending out soundwaves that disrupted his magic-

 

His magic, that was like the crazy lady in the fade that tried to kill me.

 

The sort of magic that was now in me and mine.

 

Is this why I could ‘hear’ him?

 

Our magic resonated?

 

He was unable to fully restore his magic, slow as anything, and with the infection… it wasn’t regenerating. At all. Red lyrium loved him for being an immensely huge source of food and was taking everything he did regenerate because, for now, it was enough to sustain and proliferate itself. If he regenerated his magic quickly, he may not even be infected. No wonder he was still of sound mind despite being a mage. “I’m not sure why it isn’t at its top speed,” I said to Solas, wondering if he dealt with it from the timeline I came from, and saw his eyes flicker. He knew something about that. “But that’s stopped you from being a target. The tainted lyrium really likes you; you’re practically its’ favourite banquet. Gentlemen, you wouldn’t happen to know of any spells that would freeze samples, would you? So I could have preserved samples for later for study on this?”

 

“Surely we can mine red lyrium?” Dorian replied, looking around.

 

“What?” I reply, giving the man a disbelieving look at him entirely going over my question. “That’s not what I asked, Mister Pavus.”

 

Solas was one to say, “I do not know one, Lani. Not for what you would likely be asking for.”

 

“No, no, it merely has to stop the skin sample from aging.” I was still travelling my magic through him, healing what I could and grinned to myself in victory as my magic acted like white blood cells and began to munch away at the bacteria. But the process was unbelievably slow and I couldn’t rightly _see_ what was happening and if I was missing any. I would have to up my healing game even more, somehow. And develop myself some sort of wall against this infection. “Keep it in suspended state.”

 

“I’m rather better at speeding up, dear woman.”

 

My eyes widen and I turn to him remark, “You seriously have to teach me to speed things up when we get back. That’d be unbelievably helpful to me in learning how to fight this bacterial disease. I’m a healer and I can fight this, like what I’m doing now, but it’s so slow.”

 

“That I can, but let’s first get out of here?” The Tevinter asked, shifting. “This red lyrium is not the most comfortable to be around.”

 

I had noticed the heat thrumming from the infected lyrium, but as in all else in this forward time, it was easily dismissed as fake. “Right.”

 

We later found Varric – with Bianca in a chest just down the hallway of where he was jailed - and found our way upstairs where lyrium was growing out of the First Enchanter. Fiona told us what we already knew, but for the one fact of Leliana being here.

 

And was far more vicious and vindictive that I ever recalled as Dorian helped her down.

 

“Mages always wonder why people fear them. No one should have this power.”

 

I frown at that.

 

How was this mages fault, exactly?

 

To be honest, I’m way more surprised and suspicious of people who don’t have magic.

 

Templars have proved how easy it is to get magic after all...

 

“If we can get back to our time, we can prevent this happening-”

 

Leliana scowled at that. “This existed. Our suffering existed. It was real.”

 

I spoke up, “What else happened?”

 

“I presume Solas and Varric told you it all.”

 

“Main parts,” I reply. “Such as this Elder One killing the Empress, causing chaos in Orlais and Ferelden.”

 

“Specifics would be good,” Dorian continued on for me.

 

“Yes.” I nod forcefully. “What of N-”

 

“That’s all you need to know. Enough. You’re talking to fill silence after this.” Leliana cut it off.

 

Considering I’d wanted to talk of the countries, like Nevarra and Rivain, I pushed, “No, Leliana, we must know of-”

 

“Nothing happened you want to hear.”

 

Ire sparked in me and my hand clenched around Solas’s one, where I was still fighting and learning about the infection in him. He squeezed back and I looked at him quickly before turning away again. I shake my head, dropping his hand and then go to grab Varric’s and begin pulling him along and out pulsing my magic into him to check on his condition. It was startling to me when I found that his ears and body were somewhat different. There was one singular part in his ears I know humans and elves didn’t have - an extra bone in each ear. “Holy shit. No wonder dwarves can live near lyrium. You’ve got an extra development in your ears. Somehow that interprets and denies soundwaves. Woooow, wow wow wow. No wonder dwarves can’t use magic like other species can!”

 

“Extra?”

 

“Humans and elves have three in each. You’ve got four in each! I wonder if your cochlea is different as well?” I muse. “If I took that extra one out, would you be able to use magic?”

 

Varric put his hand up. “No thanks, I’m happily defended against-”

 

“Does that mean we produce a chemical that allows us to reach the Fade through our dreams?” I question myself, staring at the dwarf. “Or does that mean you guys don’t have it? Maybe an addition to the lymphatic system?”

 

The dwarf stared before breaking out into a chuckle. “Tell the other me to put you as the insane genius we should all be afraid of but is too fluffy happy to think bad on. And to be on your good side. If there’s one side a dwarf should be on, it’s the one that could make ‘em face the Fade should they go against you.”

 

“N’aww, Scribbles, you say the kindest of things to me. Let’s go. Leliana, give me your hand.”

 

“No. We go now.” She brushed by us all.

 

I watch her storm by, clearly knowing the way, eyes narrowed and then follow.

 

No one really listened to me, did they? 

 

My jaw clenched.

 

Are people trying to make me feel like a worthless tool here, or just garbage?

 

Because they were doing a damn good job of it, and I was starting to realise I had limits to my untested patience.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Dorian looked mournful as he knelt beside Alexius, slowly taking the amulet that began all this and standing up with it.

 

Until a sound of something huge and a rumbling screech took all of our attentions.

 

“You must go now! It’s his dragon!”

 

“A dragon?!” Dorian choked, gripping his staff in one hand.

 

I snap at the Tevinter, “Dorian, set the bloody spell up! Varric! He can control a dragon? How?!” I ask instantly as the mage does so. “What does it look like?”

 

“Diseased,” Varric said succinctly. “Red lyrium, we think. Not sure how the Elder One controls it, but it does his bidding.”

 

“Lani!” Dorian says loudly and I turn to see the beginnings of the spell. “Stay near me!”

 

I back step to him, “Is there anything, _anything at all_ you want your past selves to know?”

 

Varric nodded. “When I find out what Bianca did, tell me to forgive her. But maybe draw that forgiveness out, squeeze a couple of favours out first.”

 

“There is always a choice on who you are.” Leliana mentioned shortly, looking visibly annoyed by something.

 

“Tell my past self I am sorry, but perhaps I should re-think my options,” Solas said softly, “That it does not have to be done alone. When you do this, please hold your hand out and offer one of your light motes, the playful ones.”

 

That left me curious.

 

Clearly this Solas trusted me enough to help him with something and I wondered why.

 

The door banged loudly.

 

“Move it!” Leliana called out, drawing her bow and firing an arrow at the first of the demons.

 

Dorian grabbed me by the wrist and with a slurping feeling covering me, we were back. “You’ll have to do better than that, Alexius.”

 

The man fell to his knees, and after seeing everything, I look to the scouts and demand clearly, “Take him away to be imprisoned.”

 

I wasn’t letting him get away.

 

He was far too useful to just be killed off after all.

 

His son followed after him, but on a whim I grasped his arm. “You are ill, yes?”

 

“Blight sickness, yes.” Felix warily gave me a confused look and twitched when my magic went into him.

 

I swallowed, disbelieving.

 

It was exactly what I just felt intensely in Varric and Solas.

 

Red lyrium was lyrium infected by Blight.

 

No samples from them, but I most certainly could use him. “You’re going where your father goes, I presume?” He nodded, unsure. “Good. I have use for you and it’s all to do with the Blight in you. You are a mage, yes?”

 

“A weak one,” Felix admitted. “I fair far greater in mathematics.”

 

I grinned at that. “Oh excellent! How about a job with the Inquisition then? You’ll need some way to stay in Haven with our approval, after all.”

 

“I don’t have much choice, do I?” The Tevinter sighed at my continued grin, accepting it, but both of us turned to the doorway when soldiers came into the castle and one woman came through and promptly banished the mages from Ferelden. Felix spoke gently, “The Queen of Ferelden, hm?”

 

“Apparently so,” I reply not opposed to finding friend where I could get them.

 

Felix smiled back, but the current situation called for attention. “You need the mages? Might be a good time to interrupt,” He quietly advised politely.

 

I winked at the man and went forth when I got the cleared throat and averted eyes I wanted. “We came here to get the Mages to help us seal the Breach, Fiona. I didn’t do all of that just to have you guys say no. Technically we did just save you all from ten years in servitude. Plus people do need to believe Mages won’t just start making deals with demons – helping close what brings them over does well for their reputation.”

 

“I know Mages can be loyal if you let them,” The dwarf spoke up.

 

“They’ve lost all possible supporters, Lani.” Solas told me and I nodded in acknowledgement, clearly amused he felt the need to tell me, and he then turned to Fiona. “The Inquisition is your only chance for freedom.”

 

“If the Inquisition takes responsibility for the mages, then get them out of my Kingdom,” The Queen inputted and then walked away.

 

Charming.

 

I could make a bloody better Queen, that’s for sure.

 

“It seems we must accept whatever you offer,” Fiona slumped her shoulders slightly.

 

I grin lightly. “Then an alliance you have. Don’t make me regret it,” I sigh ruefully, hands going to hips, “I know this will cause infighting with the commanding officers of this Inquisition.” 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was listening to Bird's and The Bee's 'Again and Again' when I wrote this and actually wrote a note months ago to make it the title of the chappie.


	12. Ah, Balls

****

** Chapter Twelve **

 

 

 

Nina wrung her hands. “Just rumours, milady.”

 

I hum at that. “I see.”

 

Man, there were spies all over this place weren’t there?

 

“What… What should I do?”

 

“Do me a favour and start pulling friends together that can pass me rumours? We need to make sure we survive, Nina.”

 

She brightened up. “I-I will!”

 

“And then we can continue to make a healer out of you.” I grin at her.

 

With a squeak, she hugged me and went off.

 

Because if I stayed, I sure as hell wasn’t staying in Haven. I was going to Antiva, damnit! But I wanted my own little connections too.

 

Nina would be perfect.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

  

I stare up at the Breach, humungous and dangerous and pulsing before me, barely taking in Cassandra talking to the people behind me.

 

This was my way home.

 

_I could just go in-_

 

These people would then deal with the fallout, with their world overrun by demons and barely anyway to counteract that. They were strong, hardy, but these things were non-stop, vicious and bloodthirsty. They promised things and twisted words and took over all too easily. It wasn’t just humans, it wasn’t just a few hundred people. It was multiple species of people, thousands of them, _hundreds_ of thousands.

 

And that was just Thedas alone.

 

One single continent.

 

_But this was my way home._

 

I felt myself sway from the overwhelming choice, from the pulses of power the Breach gave off, from my head pounding.

 

I put the damn smile on my face, confident and ready, and looked down at my pup, who’d grown up a little to have his head now at the height of my knees. He was growing quickly. Woofers lowly barked at me, offering me a waggling tail I let my smile drop a little at, letting him see the real emotions on my face.

 

“Oh, Woofers… I couldn’t take you, could I? Not through that.”

 

“Focus your magic past the Herald!” Solas called out strongly. “Let her will draw from you!”

 

I step forward, swallow, and then cough through a dry throat. _What do I do?_ My hand went up, I felt around the mark on my hand, felt humungous amounts of excess magic of two to three hundred Mages pushing their power out and in front of me, offering it up. _What do I do?_ I swept it up like I would the magic around any spell I cast and shove it to the mark roughly, letting it power up. _What do I do?_ It caught and clung onto the Breach that snapped and blasted out power threateningly.

 

Go home.

 

Close it.

 

I grit my teeth.

 

_Go home._

_Close it._

I close my eyes.

_Go home!_

_Close it!_

 

“I don’t know what to do!” I whisper to myself, lost, scared.

 

**_Go home!_ **

 

‘ _They’ll die,_ ’ I thought. ‘ _You get back. Then you’ve got the weight of hundreds of thousands of lives on you. Forever._ ’

 

And how many experiments have I done with the rifts?

 

Too many.

 

What happens if I got home?

 

Still had the mark?

 

_Drew rifts into my world?!_

 

No, I loved my home too much for that.

 

I clench my raised fist, suck the power out and into me and gasp at the sheer volume of it and crumble to my knees, feeling myself choking on so much power. It slashed around in me, trying to find its way home to my core and even then it took time to settle even the slightest bit. Shit. I didn’t stop it, So I had to thrust even more power into the mark and then shove the Breach into being sealed in one go. As if to scream its defiance, the Breach burst out a wave of power and light, blinding me and everyone around me and sending us falling back and slamming to the ground. It kept flooding around me, desperate to find its place in me, slowly doing so before it seemed to click into place, throbbed twice, pleased, and stilled.

 

My eyes open slowly as I stare up at the clear sky, rocks digging into my back and telling me the reality of my situation.

 

Gone.

 

It’s gone.

 

Everything I adored.

 

Billions of people.

 

Gone.

 

_Science, technology, arts, religion, culture, history, people-_

 

Solas is the one to come over.

 

I shake once, a tremor of immense loss as my whole world is flipped at the understanding of what I’d lost.

 

He’s also the one to see a lone tear make its way down my temple, how my whole body shakes, how I dig into the ground from on my back, fingers digging into the debris. I look to him in pain. “I can’t go back,” I croaked out, throat blocked with emotion, eyes glossy and just about able to see him through the thick tears. “E-Everything’s gone. My world, my people, my life. Everything I loved.” I could hear people begin to cheer, begin to draw closer and draw in a shuddery breath. A scowl passes my features and I bitterly mutter, “And now to pretend to be happy.” I roll away from him, doing my best to seem unaffected and nonchalant as I stand up, eyes dripping with tears that slammed against the land. I turn my head to wipe the tears away with my shoulders and then dust myself off. I stare up at it. “I fucking _despise you_ for bringing me here.”

 

 _I hate this world in this moment_.

 

 **Loathe** it.

 

Cassandra came over, relief and awe in her voice. “You did it!”

 

Faking everything, I grinned at her, fists clenching behind me and actively refraining from punching her for forgetting _that_ _was my only way back_. “What? You doubted me?” How did the words come so easily?

 

Shock?

 

“No! I have seen your determination to learn and master yourself. You’d have tried again and again if it did not work this time. Come, let us go celebrate!” The Seeker put an arm around my shoulders and led me away and I couldn’t help but look back around and up to the sky, unable to believe it was gone, lips pursed.

 

‘ _You didn’t have to care so much,_ ’ Some tiny part of my head said waspishly, biting at me. ‘ _Who cares? They brought this shit upon themselves._ ’

 

I grip at my clothing above the core of my magic and turn away.

 

I wanted to throw up.

 

Resentment lingered like a slimy film over my tongue.

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

 

I was loading up a cart without much emotion in me, numbed from it all, feeling my job seemingly done and prepared to be on my way when the alarm went.

 

Sighing, I closed my eyes at the calls for the Herald. I’m exhausted, burnt out, needing an escape. “Why? Why do you want me? Just let me go into hiding, damnit.” I put my forehead to my hand on the side of the carriage, haggard and wanting to _go_.

 

Woofers whined up at me, curious.

 

“I closed the Breach – what more do they want? C’mon…” I groan as the dog the whimpered at me, uncaring of my mental state. “Josie already sent letter ahead stating I’d be on my way to Antiva City. I can’t be here, facing what used to be the Breach, puppers.”

 

Woofers barked strongly as they called my name.

 

“Please, puppy dog, I… I can’t-” My eyes welled up.

 

“Herald Lani!” Nina came up to me, worry on her face, but that was relatively normal in all honesty. “Where are you going?! They need you!”

 

I take a moment to keep myself solid. “I close Breaches, babe. And with the influx of Breach magic making my magic out of my control, I can’t risk hitting one of our own. I’m useless.” I take a moment to think and then say urgently, pleading, “Come with me, Nina. Be safe with me. Don’t you want to stay away from this?”

 

“I-I-I… B-But you can fight! Or-Uhm – help us pack! Please, we need you here!”

 

_Fuck them. Let them feel the fear._

 

Bitterness was broiling in me.

 

I sigh.

 

So I knew I had to do it.

 

“I won’t be of much help but… very well.” I look around, seeing people begin to run around with no course of action.

 

_Morons._

 

That spiteful voice in me was right on that account at least.

 

The only bloody building that could truly withstand any attack would clearly be the Chapel. It was the only stone building in this village. “OI!” I bellowed, gaining attention and waved them over. Twenty odd people surrounded me. “Alright we need to secure our things and get it to safety. You eight are responsible for gathering carts and horses and get the stable hands to help you. Get as many set up as you can. Understood?!” They nodded hurriedly when I noted their resentment of having to do something and scowled at them. “You four, you’ll grab four mages each and will begin levitating bags of food into the carts. You six, we’ll need blankets and clothing, grab two mages each. And you four, grab a mages each and make sure everyone is going to the carts, run around and inform everyone of what I told you. Tell them the Herald commanded you! GO!”

 

They dashed away, purpose in their running steps.

 

“Nina, you’re with me.” I grab my bag filled with all my things, heavy and making me grimace. “Let’s go find the others.”

 

Josephine cried out when she saw me and hugged me tight. “Oh sister, I am so glad you are here! The people-”

 

“I’ve ordered them to stock up carts at the stables. It’s on the lower left side of the village and away from the invading force, so-” I look around as I part from her but it’s Roderick I see next, coming up to me hurriedly. “Chancellor?”

 

Roderick unsurely said, “There’s a way, a secret route out the Chapel here. I knew it from my Summer Pilgrimage. Andraste must have given me the knowledge-”

 

I brighten up at that and go forth to him, taking him into a tight hug, cutting his words off from the strength of it and kiss him on both cheeks firmly. “Wonderful! Stay here and guide people to it, got it? Clear the path so we can get carts through. You are the one, along with Mother Giselle, who are highest in the Chantry order here yes? Then get the Sisters to help you help the people.” I let go of the flushed man and turn to the Antivan. “Josephine, take my bag and Woofers. Those books are the only thing I give a damn over that’s material. I’m going to go direct the villagers to go in here. Woofers, follow and guard Josie.” The dog barks as I jog away.

 

“L-Lani!”

 

I turn, walking backwards as I take my staff out and hope it doesn’t burst into splinters upon use.

 

The Antivan raised her chin, hugging my heavy bag to her chest. “Be careful! I will not lose even _one_ of my family to some madman who thinks himself akin to the Maker!”

 

Warmed by that, I grin and nod and dash away, putting a Haste spell on me and cursing when it didn’t settle for more than a second, magic slipping from my control. It was too much to use correctly, washing through me like a tornado. But I could do it in pulses, right?

 

I tried, and, well… I kind of slammed into a wall.

 

I coughed, falling into the ground, everything having gone _too_ fast. I groan and get up, dizzy. It takes a second for me to actually focus, and another for me to walk a few steps properly, but I’m on my way again, grimacing at noticing my staff in a lot worse condition than it was moments ago. Damnit. Was there a point to bringing this thing?

 

Huffing, I realise I needed to get moving and did so. There was fighting going on in Haven already and I was able to throw an uncontrolled ball of Fade whatever at red Templars that got in my way, blasting them into pieces and making me gulp at the ease of that. The Breach really had given me extreme magic that was pounding through me, yet to properly be controlled. I lamented how long it was going to take to refocus my magic again before rushing off to the people of Haven. The stables were easy to get to and also a hub of activity and I had to duck several swiftly floating barrels of sloshing something or other. “The way through the village is cleared! Carts that are ready and loaded, move it to the Chapel! Mages, guard them!”

 

They hurried to do as I said and I ended up grabbing random children crying or trying to help and shoving them into the filled carts and then giving them baskets full of blankets to squeeze onto their laps. I helped out as much as I could with the rest, but eventually, roars of dragon led me to cry out, “Forget the rest, just go! Go, go, go!”

 

I ran out with them, eyes widening at the sight of the beast, magnificent and dreadful all at once. It breathed in, head rearing and instantly I recalled _fire_ , _dragons bloody well breathe it_ , before I raise my staff up and shoot a ball of sparking Fade at it, one after the other, cursing when they all did different things, some turning into balls of light and petting it, others blasting the beast with half formed ice that did something to push it back and others, unfortunately most, became healing. My magic wanted to do everything because I wanted it to do _anything_ to stop the bastard.

 

Okay, focus–

 

“Shit!” I curse when my staff cracks, useless.

 

In disgust I throw it to the side, angrily glowering up at the thing that was looking right back at me, hungry for violence, waiting for my move.

 

“Lani!”

 

Cullen, but I don’t look away. That dragon would attack again, locked in a staring contest with me as I glower it down, practically sensing its wait to see my weakness. I concentrate on the part of me that created animals, wondering if I could in some way control ones already birthed into the world. Hand raising once more to blast this magic at it, a hand clapped onto my shoulder and magic erupted from me in surprise, a grooved arc of powerful energy flying right at the creature.

 

“Come! We must run!”

 

I stare at him, feeling lost before a grudging understanding comes to me. “No. Get the people and go. I can only hold him off so long.” I flung another three arcs now the bastard startling me had jerked me from my stare down.

 

“What? No, Lani-”

 

“It’s not like-” I cut my grimness off before he could see it and hurl another arc. “Just get them out of here!”

 

“You could… you could find a way through this! You’re a genius! Right?”

 

_No, no I really wasn’t. I’m a dime a dozen back home, darlin’._

 

I grin at him and wink, throwing another power arc of energy at the beast. “Damn right.”

 

“The trebuchets. If you cannot stop him otherwise.” Cullen pointed. “That one’s still loaded. If nothing else works, you could bury the village. Just aim it.” He gave a short bow and went, not looking over his shoulder once.

 

Not that I was expecting any romantic overtures to this situation of impeding death, but a short moment of understanding would have been delightful.

 

_I was clearly about to die for your fucking village!_

 

This was because I was from another world and didn’t matter as much, wasn’t it?

 

Seemed like whatever it was we could have been sure fizzled out quick.

 

For some reason.

 

Still didn’t get that.

 

Nor did I see him turn to me, pause, and the race back to the Chantry.

 

I shake it off and run to the barrage type weaponry as I toss more arcs of energy.

 

And then realise something rather important as I gawk at the big thing, completely bewildered.

 

I don’t know shit all about medieval weaponry - especially the likes of _trebuchets!_

 

I floundered for a second, looking at everything. What did I touch? What did I do? How do I aim? What do I aim at? How far is too far? I take a moment to process it all, taking it in and ignoring the screeching of the dragon and flinging another bolt or five at it to keep it backed away. The front of the trebuchet had some sort of aimer and the massive structure was out of line with it. Maybe I should turn it to that? How? I look around the front. Alright, there’s a gear like wheel. I grab it, grunt as I turn it with all my strength and see it move and feel motivation kick in, flinging another bolt of magic that has the dragon backing off in a pained roar.

 

Did I seriously think about dying for this place?

 

Fuck that!

 

“Lani, girl, you swear far too much when under pressure,” I huff and force the trebuchet into position. Elation hit me as I hissed out, “Finally!”

 

A rumble and then a burst of fire caught my attention and I shoved a ball of energy out, letting its force send me flying away from the scorched ground. I barrier myself and it caught me but I ate dirt a second later as it collapsed, magic breaking apart and turning into healing. I grimace, eyes closed and rolling onto my back quickly.

 

“Exalt the Elder One.”

 

I snapped my eyes open and scrambled up, staring up at the man before me. Way up. He looked like someone had tried to make one of those science bodies out of play dough, the ones you could take the plastic organs out of for a better look inside. His ribs were on the outside, skin stretch over it and barely held together. Some armour was there, as if melted into him, mixing with dead feathers on one pauldron and a hood half melded with his head while the other half was split, red lyrium glowing. At least I think it was red lyrium, he was sort of glowing that colour but it was more flesh-like. And there was an odd ball in his hand, fingerprint like markings glowing on a green-gold metal. It was surprisingly pretty an object for such a gruesome man having it in his possession.

 

Odd ball?

 

My hand flexes as the mark tingles.

 

“The will that is Corypheus. The process of removing that Anchor begins now.”

 

Odd. Ball.

 

I gasped, mind off the object as he flung a hand out and captured the magic of the mark – Anchor. Remove the Anchor. For it to be removed by it must have been placed there by it. I could barely hear him talk about rituals years in the planning and me ruining it, how he wanted to use it to assault the heavens. My magic was rising up against the intruding force, battling at it and keeping it to a standstill swiftly and easily because whatever the power it had, I long since outclassed it.

 

Frowning, I looked up, staring at the ball.

 

What was it about this ball?

 

“I once breached the Fade in the name of another. To serve the Old Gods of the Empire in person! I found only chaos and corruption and for a thousand years I was confused. I will now champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world!” He grasped me by the hand and yanked me up painfully and I gasped, looking down the good eight or nine feet he easily held me aloft by before looking at him once more. “Beg that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the gods, and it was empty!”

 

Snarling, I touched the ball and grabbed some of its power to be held in suspended animation in me and slapped him with a palm of magic, sending screeching music through him and disrupting the soundwaves of him trying to take my Anchor.

 

It worked.

 

In a way that he was angry by the pain and threw me harshly to the trebuchet, with only a moments concentration of getting a barrier to kind of work saving me from both whiplash and a broken neck.

 

I slumped to the ground, angry and pissed off at my own incompetence – how long had I been training with Cullen who was actually incredible at fighting and no one in the ranks could beat him? Months! At least four hours of private tuition per day. Granted I was away a lot of the time, but I had Cassandra sparring with me each time we stopped for camp. How long had I been doing magic? Just as long, but with even more hours per day of exploring my abilities because I loved it so much. I noted an arrow on fire flare up in the distance. The people were out! My magic zeroed in on my focus and I wrangled a section of it into submission, casting out an immense arc of magic and letting it fly everywhere.

 

It broke everything around me, including setting off the trebuchet, flinging a humungous rock from the mines behind me.

 

However, my magic had already completely chopped everything in half and exploded all it touched. The avalanche coming down on the village was just the icing on the cake. I dashed, fear making me go faster, making me curse as I grabbed the cloak on me and lifted it, only for snow to slam me into the mines and fling me through corridors, rolling to a painful stop, scrapes all over me and clothes ripping.

 

I stared at the stalactites above me, body frozen, before I exhaled and slumped to the ground with a breathy laughing relief, putting my hands to my face.

 

Of course!

 

I couldn’t do use the whole damn core because it was too much, but I could focus on a specific amount and use that; it just took some extra concentration to do so.

 

Finally, it made sense to me.

 

Ugh, I’m an idiot.

 

I groan heavily as I stand up and then begin to walk forth, thinking of my magic, of that bit of magic in me that-

 

_That-_

 

I blink slowly, bewildered.

 

That…

 

My mind stopped.

 

_Solas?_

 

Why did the magic feel like him?

 

Was…

 

My mind suddenly went to my time in the Fade.

 

Of the woman there, Elvhen, beautiful, terrifying.

 

Armour on her the exact same shade of the golden green of the ball.

 

His magic that felt like hers.

 

_Perhaps we are not so different, you and I._

 

The ball belonged to Solas. But now this Corypheus guy had it, and it, what? Boosted his power? Was that why Solas couldn’t regenerate his magic quickly? That was one theory. So the ball was definitely Solas’s. I couldn’t shove that aside – it has his magic _all over it_ , from what I can tell from this piece in me that I took, yet there was something else as well. Someone else. Maybe it was given to Solas as a gift? Or custom made for something? Wait, Corypheus just used the ball to try and take the Anchor, saying I stole it from him, like Alexius had. But then how did he get the ball from Solas in the first place?

 

The man – elf, whatever - was super cautious, able to play chess in his mind with Varric easily. I couldn’t imagine him losing it, allowing it to be known if he did need it to regenerate quickly or-

 

I screw my face up.

 

Did he give it to Corypheus?

 

Did he know what would happen? That his, uh, _orb_ would open the Breach? Surely not?

 

I’d stopped, face puzzled, only to look up at a rift opened before me. I grimace. “Really? You do this to me now?!” I partition my magic once more, focusing on Fade and creating a Fade sword like I’d heard Vivienne say she could do. I surged forward, ducking a slash to stab the green floaty demon thing Solas told me the name of but I couldn’t ever remember and then thrust it forward, letting energy travel up the blade in a half second and explode him, dodging a slash from the other one and doing the same to it. My Anchor responded quickly, much happier obeying me rather than being taken by Corypheus and I could now sense it reaching forward, closing the rift.

 

And then snapping opposite of the rift to come back to me, something it’d _never_ done before.

 

It grabbed onto my magic and the magic of Solas’s orb, slurping Solas’s highly eager magic into itself and activating both his magic and the mark. The mark had powered up somewhat as it always did after closing a rift, yet it expanded on my hand, making me freak out and try to contain it. But at me shoving my magic to it, healing and halting anything going past my hand, it was stopped in an instant, even receding in an almost apologetic fashion. I pause, looking at it, seeing it in flux and then I swarm it with my barely controlled magic, focusing, concentrating and then slowly overwhelming it. The mark reacted violently in reply, trying to connect with something of me more and more desperately, and I hissed in pain, watching as it spark and burn and kept at it.

 

Minutes passed, then at least an hour, until my poor hold of magic was able to overcome it and take it into my own core as my own magic.

 

I slump to the ground, exhausted and confused as anything.

 

Still, I lift my hand, stare at the now orange mark, smile a little and then conk out.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

  

 

I awoke some time later, in the same spot. I grunt, eye my still orange mark to check it still was that and then get up, feeling crabby.

 

My magic was still yet to calm down completely, though a nap had helped. It seemed to still be settling into me, and using it disturbed that process.

 

But I had to continue on using it.

 

My clothing just wasn’t good enough for the blast of a snowstorm I saw before me.

 

I even hear wolves in the distance, calling to each other.

 

Fearfully, I stepped forward and shrieked at the blast of cold, instantly using my magic just as a pure energy source to keep me warm, and continue on.

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

  

Hours went by.

 

Nothing but snow.

 

I passed through the immense amount of snow with gritted teeth and blasts of heat Mary taught me what felt like an age ago in this white engulfing storm, finding so many signs of people having stayed for a bit and then moving on.

 

Hunger hit me, and my belt had some deer jerky, but that soon went, only meant to be a snack.

 

Day had broke and I had to simply follow the ever disappearing marks.

 

Where the hell was I going?

 

Just north.

 

Something said that direction.

 

I could barely think just kept going north, north, north.

 

North?

 

Why north?

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

 

Hunger stole at my stomach and I was forced to stop, to simply bunk in a nearby cavern.

 

And immediately come face to face with a bear with a freshly killed deer in its mouth.

 

It snarled warningly.

 

My eyes narrowed. “Survival of the fittest, hun. Sorry, grizzly-boo.”

 

My magic grabbed at it.

 

It roared at me in fury and charged. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

I chucked the electrocuted deer leg bone over my shoulder, pushed my heels in and whooped in joy as the bear beneath me ran full pelt, moving in great bounding strides.

 

Oh this was the life!

 

Okay, so it wasn’t the _same_ bear. This one was like Woofers, but made to be my mount and protection. I couldn’t mind control beasts, but I could easily create them, especially now I had the power to.

 

The things I planned to do with it!

 

And it’s that power which helped me get to Skyhold.

 

Grizzly-boo II gave a bear-sound and I slid off of him.

 

“Go. Eat lots of enemies of the Inquisition. Make lots of babies. Do whatever bears do, but be ready to come to my call, big fella.” I pet him and he butted my hand with his massive head before loping off.

 

Grinning at his disappearing form for a moment, I then turn and stared down at the magnificent fortress

 

Finally, I was here.

 

_Skyhold._

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today was the last day of uni for me this year, so have a chapter? Tell me what you think :) Will probs update Draconology tomorrow or Sunday.


	13. Magic For All!

 

 

 

**Chapter Thirteen**

 

 

I slowly step into Skyhold, looking around curiously.

 

Gods, the place was bustling and there was a strange mix of relieved, hopeful and depression all at once in the air.

 

No one seemed to pay any notice to me what with being too busy getting the place up and running, making me smile, magic flexing in me in a pleased warble.

 

Seemed like I could simply walk forward and find someone I knew without being gawked at.

 

Only to feel Solas stride forth from wherever he had been before jogging on out of a doorway. Wow, I could feel him with my magic from even here? Damn. I look down at the hidden marked hand, impressed. I saw him clearly moments later, rushing forth with staff in hand. He slowed down the nearer he was to me, looking me over, seeing me take my hood down and taking in my messy state. I gave him a little grin, unsure about the guy’s entrance into my view, but he seemed to gain purpose and strode up to me, taking me in with more care in his gaze, mere inches from me. I blinked at him, hearing a barking of my dog that was scarpering out and cocking my head to the side.

 

His eyes darted over me once more, looking a mix of unsure and incredulity. “ _How?_ ”

 

“Why, Solas! Did you give up on me?”

 

“I… had not thought it possible for you to survive that,” Solas admitted. “But, I had felt… _Something._ Something not quite right. Unpleasant.” There was an odd look to his face, brow furrowed and he looked me over. “Are you alright? Do you need any aid?”

 

“Tut tut.” I shook my head. “I’m going to be the hardest damn thing to kill ever, Solas, and drag this world into being saved whether it likes it or not. Woofers!” I cry out and step forward when the dog came bursting over the ground and went full force into me and thus into Solas. The three of us tumbled into a pile, with Solas grasping the pair of us with a curse in elf language as he landed bottom of the pile and I laughed brightly as Woofers licked us both happily, rear end vibrating with how fast his tail was wagging at us. I cry out in annoyance loudly as his tongue gets in my mouth again, deflecting the tongue wash of love I was getting with my hands.

 

I just about heard the, “I can only hope so,” from Solas as he stands us up, leaning on me for a second in relief.

 

It makes me feel warm.

 

As much as he was untrustworthy because he was clearly hiding something that could be serious, I still wanted to be friends with the guy.

 

Even though there was something about him off – which I was now putting to this whole orb thing that did make a lot of sense in my mind - I just liked something about him. It’s why I hadn’t out and out ignored him. I peer up at him, giving a vulnerable little smile and nudge my shoulder into him companionably. “You know, I never told you this, but the future you had something to say.” I heft up my growing dog in one arm with a grunt after that.

 

Solas focused instantly on me.

 

“Let me think… tell my past self that I am sorry, but I should re-think my options and,” I then focus on my magic, putting the too heavy dog down, creating one of those pet lights of mine and offer it to him, “It does not have to be done alone.”

 

There was a blankness to his face as he looked at the orange light hovering above my hand. “Why do you give me that?”

 

“Solas of the future asked me to. He said to do it when I said it. I don’t really know why, or what it means, I didn’t get much of a chance to ask as seconds later we were back in the future. But, uhm, but Solas, if you need help then I… do come and ask me. I don’t know what I could do, but I’m willing to try to help you. My science may aid you somehow.” I was still holding up the light. A moment, realising he was still holding me and I was still in his arms and people were starting to look and I flushed red and looked away, lowering my hand. “It’s okay if you don’t want it but do say something. Makin’ me go red,” I mumble. “Am I offending you somehow? Is this an elf thing? I don’t know.” Another pause of nothing and I chanced a look at him.

 

He was smiling at me, blue eyes dancing.

 

“You’re doing it on- You sod!” I moved out of his arms, about to crush the light in my fist.

 

He caught my hand before I could, taking it. “I would be honoured to have your help for as long as you give it.”

 

I narrow my eyes. “What did we just do?”

 

“An old form of alliance of the Elvhen,” Solas replied easily, taking his hand and the light with him, which bobbed by the side of his head and nuzzled in.

 

“Oh!” I say, not bothered with that then. Cementing friendship, right? Plus them he’d perhaps be more open with me too? Because he likes that old Elvhen stuff and this would matter to him. “Why didn’t he say so then? Would have taken that singular second.”

 

“That is likely because I could explain it.”

 

“True. But it would have helped me decide if I wanted to offer that or not. Hm.” I look to the fortress. “I think I would like to check in with Josie,” I say, brushing past the new alliance with this elf. “I need her to know I’m alive.”

 

His ears twitched down at that, remembering. “She has not been herself.”

 

I frown, looking to the ground. “Then I’ve a hurt to heal.” I give a small smile his way when I peer up at him. “Good thing I’m a healer. Excuse me, dear ally, I’ve a sister to look after. Woofers, show me Josie!”

 

He barked and began jogging off.

 

I wave at Solas with a quick, “Bye-bye!” and rush after the teen dog.

 

“Lani!”

 

I slow down and look over my shoulder.

 

He’s leant on his staff, a smile on his face and his ears out to the sides, eyes sincere and just looking so relieved to see me.

 

He was oddly very attractive in that moment.

 

Huh.

 

I mean, yeah, good looking bloke, damn great body, I knew that, but never had I thought… _oh._

 

You know?

 

The softness was suddenly just so _good-looking._

 

His tone was full of warmth as he remarked, “I am glad you are here, dear ally, and that you are well. See me in the rotunda whenever you wish.”

 

“Will do, jawline!” I wink, blow a kiss and beam at him and go on ahead, laughing happily at his chuckling at my flirtatious silliness, hearing his footsteps slowly follow. I rush into the Great Hall, seeing it filled up with a good amount of people. I look around in confusion, wondering what was going on. Seeing a way through by the wall, I squidge past to get closer, only to see an empty throne of some sort, Josie, Cullen, Cassandra and Leliana, two on each side and what was Alexius on his knees and Felix dejectedly next to him before them.

 

Whoa now.

 

What was happening to them without my input for these two?

 

A second of apprehension about speaking up, but then I do so, walking forward with a sardonic, “You are going to put him to use in researching, right?” I clap the man on the back with my marked hand, making him jump and stare up at me. I waggled my brows down at him and winked at his son, who looked at me in stunned awe before relief melted on it.

 

“ ** _Lani!_** ” Josie sprinted forward, candle sputtering out as she flung the note board to the side and hugged me at full speed. “You survived!”

 

I caught her and only stumbled a little, laughing. “Like an avalanche could kill me, Josie-baby!” I grin, squeezing her tight as Woofers barked and ran around us.

 

The woman sobbed and then parted from me, pushing back. “I… I dropped my note board. Excuse me,” She curtseyed to me, turning away and discretely wiping an eye.

 

_Aww… Sorry, Josie-baby._

 

Leliana came up to me with that enigmatic smile of hers. “I do believe you’ve a chair to accommodate, Inquisitor.” She raised a hand to the throne behind her, moving to give me better vision of it.

 

Perhaps she thought herself clever to try and nail me in front of people into being their Inquisition as… leader, was it?

 

Inquisitor of the Inquisition.

 

Yes, probably that, but hey, I liked having power, and I liked to lead.

 

I would _gladly_ take it.

 

Especially if I got to make the decisions. I didn’t like having no control (rather keenly in fact) and with my magic so fussy and problematic right now, this would suit my needs. I stopped before it and looked at a relieved Cassandra and a wondrous-looking Cullen that was taking me in without blinking and both said nothing, merely nodding in relief. I reached up to take my cloak off, but the pair of them helped in an instant, revealing the ripped and dirty clothing I had on, still smelling of smoke and dirt and bear. A smile to them both and I turned to sit on the Inquisitorial throne, ready to make a magically scientific difference to this world.

 

Woofers made his way in between my knees and panted up at me and I couldn’t help but grin down at him and then look up.

 

I wondered what to do now.

 

It made me jump when, after a moment of staring, the people suddenly began to clap and then roared their approval, the Great Hall echoing powerfully.

 

Delight and honour coursed through me, making my grin widen cheerfully and laugh as the sounds rushed everywhere. I notice a couple of my close partners look on in; Solas with some large hatted companion from the door to the rotunda, Sebastian, Vivienne, some big blue horned guy – uh wow, horns, what? -, Dorian and Varric from up above and even Blackwall and Sera were in the crowd, whooping and hollering with the rest of them. Pride welled in me and determination roared just as loudly as what was now my people did. Inquisition would be a good stepping board.

 

Because I needed an aim in in life now I chose not to go home but the easiest, obvious route.

 

And I think…

 

My grin widened.

 

Everyone should have a little magic in their life, right?

 

“Alright.” I say, shifting forward on the throne with a pleasant smile on my features as my dog sat at my feet, alert and ready. “So, I’ve a couple projects for you to be working on, one small one which will be as necessary as the big one. There’s no reason to put you on the chopping block. Well, not yet. It depends on how well you do really,” I muse, looking up at the ceiling and grinning as a roofer waved at me, tiling away. I nod and then look at Felix and point at him. “You’ll be staying of course. There’s something for you as well. Is there somewhere to put them as they experiment?” I ask my closest companion, Josephine.

 

“The Undercroft, perhaps, Inquisitor?” Her quill pointed at a door and I looked at it and then nodded. Two guards grabbed him and took him away with Felix unsurely trailing.

 

I smile in bemusement as Felix looks back one more time before disappearing and look forward. “Anyone else?”

 

“No, Inquisitor,” Cullen was next, looking at me, curious. “We’ve no more need to be here.”

 

“Alrighty. I’m done people!” I stand up and clap my hands, and I turn to him as the crowd begins to dissipate, talking their amazement loudly. “Are we still training or do you have your hands full and I get a new trainer?”

 

“In all truthfulness, there is so much more to do now, I simply cannot do so…” He trailed off. “However, you’ll get an excellent replacement I will recommend and might I introduce two new people to you?”

 

“Sure thing.”

 

“Cole, Iron Bull!” He called out, leaving me blinking.

 

Who?

 

It was then I felt an incoming of some kind of magic before the hatted guy next to Solas I saw earlier appeared before me. Lanky, blond and looking like he needed a ton of sleep, I believed this was Cole. Should we get him a sleeping potion of some sort?

 

“I am, but I don’t need a potion.”

 

I gawped.

 

He just read my mind.

 

“You… what? Did you really just-?”

 

“I did. I am Cole. You have a deep hurt there. I, I’m sorry, I can’t help you remember them.” He wrung his hands as some of the others came up to me.

 

“Who _is_ this? Where’d you find him? Cole, you will keep any thoughts of mine to yourself.”

 

“I-I will! I don’t mean to scare you.”

 

“No, just…”

 

“I won’t, I promise!” He seemed oddly twitchy around me. Was I that scary? “Yes.”

 

“Uh…”

 

“He found us,” Solas responded, arms behind back as Vivienne and he stepped up to us, her arms crossed.

 

“It is a demon,” The female mage said pointedly.

 

I point at Cole, a bit rudely actually but I didn’t care much. “This is a demon. _This?_ ”

 

Solas’s lip twitched. “The truth is a little more complex than that. Cole is a Spirit. He can cause people to forget him or even fail entirely to notice him.”

 

“Wait, really?” I ask in sudden enthusiasm and turn to Cole. “Say, would you like to work for us as a spy?”

 

“And what will _its_ help cost us? Demons only ever end up in bloodshed,” Vivienne scowled at Cole before lightening her tone for me. “I would be wary of this thing.”

 

Thing? Cole was clearly a person. I think. Unsure, I reach forward and gently touch a cheek after he lets me with a nod at a mental asking. “He feels real. He’s warm.” My fingers went to his neck, feeling the pulse of him. “Certainly not some type of animated body without pulse. So you’re a… spirit? You look, uh-” I flip his flap of hat up noting rounded ears, “Human enough. Or do spirits… demons… spirits… Fade people? Maybe? Yeah. Do Faders actually have bodies in the Fade?” I ask curiously. “Physical ones?”

 

“No. They don’t.” Cole was rather succinct with words, allowing me to grasp his face and turn it this way and that as I took in his health level, wondering if food and bed would be good for him. “I do not eat or sleep.”

 

“Uh. What? That can’t be possible, the body needs fuel to keep going and the mind needs rest to stay alert.” I held a hand to his body, flushing healing magic through him to scan him and…

 

Still.

 

I stared, blank.

 

His body was… still. His digestive tract wasn’t in use, renal, lymphatic, nearly everything but for the cardiovascular system, but that was feeding on magic of some sort. Spirit magic, maybe? There was a limited supply of it in him, being used up slowly. Eventually he would die or become human, if his biological form kicked in. I swallowed and then stared at him again, completely thrown. “If I reversed that?”

 

Cole’s eyes lit up. “On you, you could be Spirit!”

 

I could change my form? That’s one hell of an idea. “Wooooooow. You could be fully human if we advanced this, started some of those systems-” Then I stop.

 

“But I might lose my magic!” Cole said in alarm.

 

I put hand to mouth, thinking. “Potentially, you could keep it.”

 

Something like what I did to Cullen?

 

Could I make magical cores?

 

Well, why not?

 

“Are you suggesting Cole might not be a one off?” Dorian spoke up, fluffed up in both unease and awe.

 

“That is not something we should be exploring.” Vivienne’s voice was a little higher in pitch than usual.

 

Solas was the one to go against the other two, eyes brightening, “Yet it is fascinating. Perhaps we can debate and theorise later?” I nod, excited by the prospect and then turn curious eyes to the newcomer. “Ah, Lani, this is The Iron Bull.”

 

Leliana went on, “He is the head of a group of mercenaries. The Chargers.”

 

I grin at that and look him over, intrigued by blue skin and big horns. “Oh cool, so you’re what Qunari look like! Your horns are badass, like the dragon I was fighting,” I add absently, taking them in and making him smirk and puff out a little. “Can I touch one? Oh, excuse me, I’m Lani Loch-Li, pleasure to meet you. And you, Cole.”

 

The Iron Bull barked a laugh at me. “Sure thing, Boss.” He tilted his head down for me and with a wide beam on my face I happily touched them, humming and rubbing at one. “Hey, not bad. They do itch.”

 

I chuckle and rub a little more for him for a scant moment before parting. “Thank you for appeasing my curiosity. What happened to your eye?” I ask.

 

“Lost in in a fight. Ask Krem sometime.”

 

“Will do! Say, can I try healing it?”

 

“Not much to heal boss, but hey, go ahead.” He sits down for me so I only have to bend over a little instead of him bending all the way. I took the eyepatch away, with Sera looking over my shoulder.

 

She scrunched her nose. “Ew, Bull! It’s a right ol’ hole, ain’t it?”

 

“Sera!”

 

“By Andraste,” Sebastian murmured from my other shoulder. “How horrendous. I can see why you use the patch, and what it’d mean if you took it off in a fight.”

 

“Seb!”

 

“I agree; Choirboy has a point.”

 

“Scribbles!”

 

The Qunari laughed, not caring. “Don’t worry, Boss. It’s true.”

 

I sigh and focus on separating all magic from my healing ability, because this was a tricky, tricky area I didn’t want to ruin. I put my hand over his eye and scanned the area, noting dead nerves and cells galore. Going to be quite the job. I instantly take away an infection and remove swelling which made him grunt, pleased at that, and he was about to say something but I put a gloved finger to his lips and narrow my eyes, focusing. “Quiet. Or I’ll mess up and rip part of your brain out.” He shut up in an instant. The orbit around the missing eyeball itself was scarred over and nerves deadened after so long. I clench my fingers a little at dealing with old scar tissue, but to hide my talent from being too incredible, I swiftly erode them away and he hissed at the pain of rawness in his eye.

 

“What the-?!”

 

“Had to be done.” I then focus on his other eye, keeping the empty hole in a barrier so air didn’t irritate or add bacteria to it from his dirty eyepatch. The eye was bigger than a humans, nearly two inches in diameter instead of the human singular inch. I recreate a small bit of vitreous humour, the jelly found in the eye and was able to manage it well, having already had practice with Woofers and the bear. This was not that much different, so I filled it up, focusing on his one eye to match it while I recreate a new one. The three layers popped into existence and my magic then strengthened the muscles, created blood vessels and made sure the lens was the same shape as the other eyeball. I lastly added the mucous membrane to keep the eyeball lubricated in its socket.

 

A pause, taking in any differences and I step back. My lips quirked at the orange of his eye. “Anyone got a mirror?”

 

Leliana silently handed a pocket mirror to me and I smiled at her knowingly before handing it to Iron Bull. He gently took it from me and looked, astonished. “You…”

 

“Sorry about the heterochromia. Things that take much healing seem to end up with an orange hue of some sort. Looks scary as anything though, so… yay for extra intimidation?”

 

Iron Bull nodded absently, staring at himself and then closing his original eye, looking around with the other.

 

I grin at that.

 

“By the Maker, that’s incredible,” Sebastian spoke in awe. “I don’t think I’ve ever met so talented a magical healer. Never had I heard of limbs being replaced. Repaired yes, but…” A certain intrigue hit his face as he looked at me before shaking it out and saying urgently, “There are people outside that need tending, milady Inquisitor. I’ll be there, helping where I can. Would you help them?”

 

I pat his shoulder, saying, “Of course. I have to go boss Alexius about first though. Hey, Dorian? It may be frustrating for you to have to deal with the blighter, but could you keep a daily eye on Alexius when we’re here? You know him best, and what his plans were. Write up a daily note on him and send them to me and Leliana here weekly?”

 

“Certainly. Shall we go visit Alexius now, dear Inquisitor?”

 

“Sure, if there’s nothing else you guys wish to speak about quickly?”

 

“A drink tonight!” Sera put in and I snickered, nodding. “You owe me one for scarin’ the crap outta me! Thinkin’ you’ve only gone and died in an avalanche!”

 

“Not to mention I want to know everything,” Varric added on indignantly, but a quick look at him and he winks at me.

 

“We should talk on the state of our forces, and of the Mages and Templars,” Cullen stated yet smiled wryly after, “But that can be done tomorrow. After a potential hangover.”

 

I shrug at the amused comment, simply grinning. “Simply another experiment to be had. Hangover curing with magic. Haven’t tried it yet.”

 

“Oh my dear Inquisitor,” Dorian said with a happy sigh, “that’s already been accomplished!”

 

“Why am I not surprised? Teach me tomorrow, after I get a full report of what’s going on in Skyhold from my…” I looked to my Diplomat, Spymaster and Commander.

 

“Your advisors.”

 

“Yes. My advisors. That’ll be necessary. Oh, and I want there to be magical defences on this place. As it’s old and Elvhen, Solas, you’re on this,” He nods at that, smiling a little, so I turn to the other two mages, “And Dorian and Vivienne you shall help him with research. With your three different magical backgrounds, it should be accomplished. I don’t want Skyhold undefended, considering it’s our headquarters. Speaking of, I want to have another place or two as backup. As well as this, I want to be knowing our next options for taking Corypheus down.”

 

“Corypheus?!” Varric startled. “Did you just say _Corypheus?_ ”

 

My eyes bugged out. “Yeah, you know him? How?”

 

“Know him? Hawke, Sebastian and I killed him with Merrill and Fenris! He’s back?! How?!”

 

I said nothing, simply shaking my head and shrugging. “No clue. We can talk more tomorrow though. But if there’s a way you,” I flicker my gaze to the Prince, “Sebastian, this Merrill, Fenris and Hawke person can tell me your views, that’d be great.”

 

The Prince gave a slight bow. “Aye, Inquisitor.”

 

“Sure thing, experimenter.”

 

“Anything else?”

 

There were shakes of the head.

 

“Good. Speak soon, people.”

 

I note not _one_ of them asks if I’m alright but for the obvious two relieved at my presence as I leave for the Undercroft, Inquisition scouts saluting me through.

 

Ouch.

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

  

I handed off a small project and then the microscopic scanning project to Alexius, who seemed astonished to still be alive, blinking at me.

 

“You understand, yes?”

 

“If you’d give me more detail…?”

 

I nod and look around, simply picking up a large rock. “You see this rock? If it was to be zoomed in on, I could see everything it is made up of. Its composition. However, its breaks and smooth edges, are all seen very clearly. But, I could only see it this size. What I want is to have it at bigger sizes. For instance,” I go to the wall and slam it against the stone, hand underneath and catching a small piece of it and come back over. “This piece here? I want to zoom in on it so this tiny piece,” I showcase it and then hold it up to the rock it came from. “Is as big as this piece and again, when I go further in,” I crumbled the small piece between my fingers and show him the tiny particle of rock, “It stays as big. This is not making the rock pieces bigger, it’s making a sort of extremely accurate illustration, perhaps? For all to see.”

 

“I see. An intriguing project to do. How deep do you want this… ‘zoom’ to go?”

 

I open my mouth.

 

“As deep as it can get!”

 

It wasn’t me who said that.

 

I turn to see a female dwarf, looking beyond excited at the prospect of knowing how deep something could go. “Who are you? Because I like you already.”

 

“I’m Dagna! An Arcanist now of Skyhold formally of Tantervale.”

 

My eyes bug out as a wide grin went on my face. “You can use magic?!”

 

“No,” Dagna sighed, looking completely depressed before bouncing back. “But I theorise everything I can! Finding out, experimenting, I love it all! Magic is wonderful!”

 

“Hooooooly shit, we’re two peas in a pod!” I go over and hug her tight and she laughed, clapping me on the back. “One night very soon, I have to tell you about my theory on why dwarves can’t use magic and why I think they’ll be able to.”

 

Dagna’s jaw dropped and a squeak left her throat. “Are you serious?!”

 

“Are we scientists?! I’ve already begun to understand how magic itself works and,” I get up from hugging her, bouncing on my toes in excitement, “I have a super strong theory about sound and the biology of mages bodies compared to non-mages and how dwarves have developed a bit extra that stops them being so affected by the lyrium that has constantly surrounded them for thousands of years underground, and-” I laugh as Dagna suddenly threw herself at me.

 

“You are my soulmate!” Dagna declared, hugging and not letting go.

 

I automatically hug back. “I know! I’m human you!”

 

“And I’m dwarf you!”

 

Seriously, I think I love the woman already.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those of you that wanted a reaction - my reasoning is that Solas is still weak in magic, unable to intuit what he once could. Wait for the next chapter where it will get addressed more between them :)
> 
> DAGNA! I like female friendship, so like Cassandra and Ivy are my jam, so is Dagna and Lani.


	14. Colours

**Chapter Fourteen**

 

 

 Dagna and I _clicked_.

 

Honestly, even one singular week of knowing her and I knew this one person was going to be a friend for life. I was half-tempted to tell her about my animal creating ability, but something stopped me. I kept that to myself, slowly working on the ability by making cats to be mousers, and other crows to be messengers, and insects to help the ecology of the world around me. I’d wondered if they could reproduce and so had let them loose upon the world to procreate and would hopefully get good results later on.

 

Maybe I’d tell her later.

 

Regardless, we were constantly in each other’s presence, exploring theories together, learning, getting our explosions on and listening to each other. There was no boundaries between us, Dagna having taken to washing with me and giggling when I dried her from head to toe with magic, and I enjoyed her playing with my hair and putting it into dwarven braids as we went through possibilities together. Dagna was right now talking about my music I’d shown her earlier, having been entranced for the twenty minutes I went through different loops of Earth melodies.

 

“What if you could do things with glyphs at each song point other than sounds?”

 

“Such as?”

 

“Well, we have glyphs currently used in only one way, just parts of groups to form time based things, like traps of fire or paralysis. An enemy steps on, then that ends. Or in alchemy, so when a certain part needs to be heated at a specific temperature and time, it gets set off. What if there was something incredibly specific?”

 

“Like a megamix of glyphs? Like mini traps in one circle or whatever, but not just traps but for something else? Huh. Dagna?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Your mind. I like it.”

 

She giggled as we went down the stairs to the rotunda, holding books. “Maybe we could even create things!”

 

“Create? Like, one glyphs for wood, surrounded by those that shape it, the dimensions of it, the heaviness? That sort of thing? And then make furniture or what have you?” I inquire curiously and Dagna nodded hurriedly and I suck in a breath at the idea, enamoured with it. “It’d take a hell of a lot of experimenting, each would have to be nuanced to one another.” It was a lot like my biology, come to think of it. It seemed doable.

 

The dwarf beamed up at me. “I could make a bunch of what we think we’d need on stone and you could power them up! It’ll be a side project when the asked red lyrium comes along.”

 

My magic sung in happiness at her enthusiasm.

 

God I’d missed a like-minded companion like this.

 

My eyes flickered up to see a wondering Solas listening in and watching us with a smile. Hm. I needed to talk to him. “Ah, Dagna, I need to talk to Solas.”

 

“Oh, sure thing! I’ll start drawing up the stones, see you soon!”

 

“Right on, love.”

 

She grabbed my books and toddled off with them, making me snicker at her and then go over to the male. “Hey.”

 

He bowed his head. “Inquisitor.”

 

“Really, So’? You gonna be like that to me?”

 

He chuckled, incrementally relaxing. “How may I help you, Lani?”

 

“How are Dorian and Vivienne with you?”

 

“As much as they infuriate me and waste time by insulting each other and then their favourite target,” His ears flicked in an annoyed way and I nod sympathetically, trying not to show my amusement at his misfortune, “It does go well. They are both eager to learn Elvhen ways, however well they hide it, and they are sharp studies, however much the Circle may have encapsulated their minds. I do not see this failing.”

 

“Good.” I rub my nose, hiding my mouth. “Can I speak to you privately please?” I murmur with a grin. “Something may have happened with my mark I’d rather not worry the others over.” I fiddled with my sash, bright orange silk over a beige poet’s shirt and baggy brown leggings and boots, gloves ever on. Vivienne sighed whenever she saw me, but said nothing when she saw how messed up my clothing got through the day from training both physical and magical, ink over hands, magical burns, and rips and dirt from the Undercroft, unable to stand the thought of that happening to well-made clothing. I was a worker and she got that, simply tending to my clothing – when I did wear nice clothing- and skincare regime – Jesus I had one of those now apparently – and making sure I did it all properly, inclusive of joining her for cheese wheels on eyes.

 

Never heard of that one and I’d heard of those vampire face masks. Weird stuff that.

 

“Of course, Lani.”

 

He guided me out to the battlements going to the top of the one Cullen wasn’t in and helping me up onto the roof with a hand. I looked over in awe at how beautiful the sun setting looked as he pulled me up. I sigh out happily, sitting down and staring at the gorgeous reds going up into purple. “It’s magnificent, Solas.” It made me feel a little more peaceful, seeing something familiar that didn’t need a certain year or level of technology to achieve. I tug his hand to show my want to have him by me and let go.

 

Solas joined me, quiet for a moment. “I am glad you think so. I’ve spent much time here. It’s one of my favourite views in the world.”

 

I nudge his shoulder with my own. “Even inclusive of the Fade?” I tease.

 

He laughs lowly and nods, repeating ruefully, “Even inclusive of the Fade.”

 

There was a moment of silence as we just contemplated the sunset going down, Solas didn’t rush me and I didn’t feel expected to hurry it along.

 

It was when the sun fell that I spoke up. “You know, the sun already set over the horizon the moment the bottom of the sun touched the tip of it. What we’re seeing is just a natural illusion. A mirage. As in physically the earth has turned such that we cannot see the sun and that is the after image.” Solas looked at me, fascinated by this explanation. “So light passes through air at a shallow angle, right? You don’t know. No worries. Okay trust me that light passes in straight line.”

 

“Why so?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

Blue eyes watched me. “How _do_ you know it does?”

 

“Hmm…” I rub my thumb over my finger, looking at my gloves, the protective metal on the back of my hands reflecting my face. I blink. “Oh! Mirrors. You know how you can direct a mirror that’s bouncing off light? So-” I pretended to hold up a box. “When I turn left and right, it does so, and when you bounce it from one mirror to another, depending on the angle you can bounce it off each other!”

 

He smiled at me, pleased to understand and for me to be able to teach it.

 

“So as the light passes through a shallow angle it bends. It bends as the air density increases, you know, like when you see your legs in water and it’s kind of bent? It’s that exact phenomenon but in gas instead of liquid.”

 

“I see.”

 

I then cross my arms, frowning at another thought. “Of course, I was always told that light travels from the sun to planet Earth in about eight minutes and twenty seconds. I wonder if it takes the sunset that long to disappear on my planet. Never timed it.” I sigh, knowing that option was not available now.

 

“Incredible. Tell me another fact?”

 

“The sun is a star? Do you guys know that? It’s called a sun if it’s in the centre of the planetary system. You know, the first part of your name, Sol, means sun.” Then I snort. “Then again, Sol, as in S.O.L is also an abbreviation for _shit out of luck.”_

 

Solas laughed loudly at that and my shit-eating grin, having not expected it.

 

“And a name of a popular beer, actually.”

 

A further snort and he looked at me, exasperated but fond, making me grin wider, cheesier and I scrunched my nose at him playfully making him snort again as he looked away and shook his head. He seemed to relax even further, shoulders falling as he watched the dipping sun.

 

“I can also tell you why the colours change in the sky. Light waves, once again, and the eyes are light recep-” I cut myself off and stare at him in bemusement, wondering how many colours he saw.

 

“You’ve a question.”

 

“Just wondering at how different _our_ eyes possibly are. We likely don’t see colour the same way as you have cat eyes.”

 

He raised his brows. “Cat eyes?”

 

“Alright. Nocturnal vision then.”

 

“Hm,” His tone was accepting, enjoying this as he looked upon the darkening sky.

 

It made me smile. “It’s not the only colour changing thing.” I tug off my glove and offer my hand to him when he gave a choked sound of alarm in the base of this throat and he took it firmly. He tilted my hand back and forth, murmuring to himself in bewildered Elvhen I could only somewhat translate due to Nina’s teaching. Not that it made much sense as he was using mostly extensive vocabulary and I’m sure half of what I got was just an extension of something else. He touched his magic to it, sucking in a breath when it didn’t react in the slightest. I lean forward. “Why did you give Corypheus your power ball?” I ask curiously.

 

He very carefully looked up at me, eyes intent and lips pursed and there was suddenly a very tense feeling in the air.

 

I wait patiently, head cocking to the side.

 

He seemed to decide something. “It was not my intention to mark you.”

 

I huff out through my nose, amused. “I know _that._ ” It was that crazy bitch in the Fade I killed.

 

Solas wanted to know more, but at my expectant look, went on, “It should have killed him, as this… as this should have ended up killing you.”

 

I gave a rueful smile at that and sigh, putting my cheek in my fee palm and leaning that arms’ elbow on my knee. “Well, it seems both Corypheus and I, in different ways, are far more powerful than you realised. Of course, you lucked out. He’s too blinded by ridiculous dreams of domination and I’m too undisciplined to properly wield the magic we were graced with. Certainly not getting it anytime soon by conventional means. Not when it just keeps growing so much.”

 

“Your power grows?” He frowned in concern, still rubbing my hand with his thumb and taking in the differences.

 

“With every rift. I suck the magic up. The Breach… really was something.”

 

The rift mage watched me carefully. “Is this out of your control?”

 

I blinked. “Huh. I haven’t thought I _could_ control it out of the Fade.”

 

“How did you know it was mine?”

 

I gave him a bemused smile. “I know your magic, So’. How could I not?” His eyes flickered to my ears for a split-second. It reminded me of him in prison. “When Corypheus came, he stupidly had the ball in his hand. Perfect chance to knock it out, and when I did, I grabbed some of the magic to me to be looked over later. Because hey, scientist here, like to figure things out. Imagine my astonishment when I found your magic all over it. I was incredulous. Solas? In league with this guy? That made no sense. It made less sense to me that you’d lose it on purpose though, especially with your magical regeneration as it was. I thought the reason you may not have a quick magical regen system was because you gave the ball away. Is this true?”

 

“No. I slept for a long time. Many hundreds of years.”

 

My lips parted at that, stunned for a moment as I stared unblinkingly and then got it together again. “So… you really _are_ Elvhen?”

 

“Yes. Why did you think that?”

 

“The… lack of regen because you gave your ball away, you mean?” I ask to make sure and he nodded watching me intently as I look away with a sheepish grin. “Ah it was just a throw together bit of theorising, from the few seconds of looking at your magic I took from the ball and put inside me.” I didn’t see the widening of his eyes at that. “In the future, you get heavily infected with red lyrium. But you have so much magic that you’re still with full faculties, because the red lyrium eats at your magic to sustain itself, parasite-like and has yet to dwindle your mind. Eventually it would have propagated enough to overtake you because it loves mages and magic.”

 

His hand on my hand went up to grasp my forearm and a look of concern slipped over his face. “The magic you took in you of mine, what was it like?”

 

“Like? I don’t understand. It was your magic?”

 

“It would have had a feeling to it. Quite distinctive.” His eyebrows drew down further. “It would have been when you touched it with your own magic.”

 

I detected almost a pleading in his eyes and looked away with a frown myself, thinking back. “Okay, okay, give me a sec to recall it. When I touched it with my own, when I touched it with my own…” I mumble, narrowing my eyes. “The rift magic was odd that time, I thought it would have been to do with the Breach being closed and this being the next time I used it so it was funny having no big direction to influence it somehow.”

 

“My magic, _please_ , Lani.” His hands both took hold of my upper arms, firm but not painful.

 

“Oh, sorry.” I looked at those blue, blue eyes that made me suddenly realise the odd pink around the pupil, blinking a couple times, befuddled for a second at his sheer need to know I saw. “Your magic was very enthusiastic.” I looked between each of his eyes, seeing them flash with some unnamed emotion. “It wanted to go to my magic and quite persistently at that. It was met with mine in the mark after both being grabbed by the mark magic and just activated itself and wanted to climb back up to my magic which sent alarm bells ringing in me. Magic in me had never done that. Ever. Then I thrust my own magic against it in protection, to stop the mark and your magic growing up my arm. Your magic is very polite, Solas, it receded back like it was apologizing to me. A caress, almost. After that though, that was when it was painful.”

 

“Painful?” Solas said sharply and then scowled down at the mark.

 

“I overwhelmed it with my own magic because it was acting so crazy. I thought it was the chance to control it, so I could attempt to go home by myself, because by the stars do I _miss home_.” I sigh. “It kept trying to connect to me somehow. It failed, after… I don’t know how much time, sparking and fighting me the whole way, and I took over both of these magics with my own. Then it turned my colour and it ended.”

 

It was then he sighed out wearily, having been stiff the entire time and slid the palms down and grasped my hands from underneath, palms up, looking at them in his own, widening his hands out and then closing his fingers around mine multiple times.

 

Bewildered, I let him.

 

Whatever I did to the mark had meant something to him if those actions were anything to go by.

 

Something old Elvhen, I guess.

 

I wasn’t too concerned.

 

“Why _did_ you give it to him?”

 

“I wanted to open the Veil between the Fade and this non-magical world.”

 

“Oh,” I replied casually, not concerned. “How comes?”

 

He watched me with a frown. “I put it there in the first place. I wished to tear down such a mistake.”

 

A shiver ran down my back at the thought of such power. “Whoa. Did you have all that power before the lacking regen you now are riddled by?”

 

Because if so, I’d have to make sure to out power that.

 

I don’t think it would take long, what with my current power level.

 

Solas’s eyes were zapping all over my face. “Not entirely. The orb magnified that.” He sounded surprised and then reared back a little but didn’t let go of my hands. “You… don’t mind that I want to rip open this world.”

 

I widened my eyes and shook my head, shrugging. “No. Why would I? I have no attachment to this world. Listen,” I twined my fingers with his and point his hands at himself, “You do whatever you want to the world, and as long as you leave me,” I point his finger at my face, “Alone to do my science-magic you’ll have no trouble what so ever with me.” I waved both of our hands out at this. “Heck, if you even have a project that helps you do whatever to this world that catches my interest, I’ll even help you.” I shake our hands playfully.

 

He laughed low and long at that before putting his forehead to mind, closing his eyes and squeezing my hands tight and bringing them to his heart, one on top of the other. “Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome?”

 

Solas’s eyes opened looking at me in amazement before smirking and closing his eyes again, not willing to move back yet as his magic hummed at mine warmly.

 

Feeling happy and generous with my affection after finding my Dagna, I smile and lean into it almost being able to feel those pretty eyes of his open a slit and stare at me as he felt the content rumble of my magic purring back at his.

 

Only to feel a yawn come on a small while later and I move back, yawning away from him into my raised bicep.

 

He chuckled. “You are still young and need rest.”

 

“Always knackered at the end of the day,” I muse.

 

“You do much here. Come,” He fell back into the damn wall, somehow taking me with him and we reappeared falling through the wall behind my lavish bed up in my humungous rooms.

 

I landed on top of him with an, “Oomph!” and winced as his blasted animal jawbone dug into my sternum, making me hiss. I kneel over him, dragging my shirt from inside my sash and pulling it up and over my head, seeing a few neat holes like a cat dug into me with their claws. I set about healing it up instantly even though it was already healing, hand hovering over it, orange energy thrumming but not yet dispersing. “Damnit Solas, why do you even wear that-” I stopped, stared at the wall behind me, mouth open when it clicked we’d somehow teleported through the stronghold and then looked at him with the exact same look. “Wow! You can teleport? Is it just in the fortress? Or elsewhere, too?”

 

He watched as the holes disappeared, acknowledging I autohealed. “Any place that is mine, protected by my magic.” He peered back up at me, a slow smirk on his face.

 

It made me look around the place in a new light. “So this is one of many? It was yours?”

 

“Indeed so,” He murmured in a lower pitch with eyelids half closing, getting my attention.

 

I realise our position, him under me and darkened eyes watching me with a canny smirk, me knelt above him with only my chest bound that in this day and age was scandalous, on my bed, alone, and I looked away and coughed into a fist, going red at his chuckle. I stood above him, only to jerk when he caught my leg and said my name and then the covers twisted under my balancing foot as I jerked in surprise. The world went by fast as I fell and I was about to use magic to push myself in the opposite direction when in a snap Solas sat up and grabbed the top of my breast wrappings, hooking fingers into the top of it and catching me.

 

I gawked at him in shock, making him snort and raise a brow.

 

“Having fun, Inquisitor?”

 

Huffing, I raise a hand behind me and blast out a harmless bit of healing, the force of it shunting me forward when of course it overloaded without my specific concentration and I slammed forward into Solas.

 

Only to wince and roll over onto my back next to him, once again looking down at my once-more punctured and bleeding body. “ _Why_ do you _wear_ that thing?!” I grouched and smacked the stupid thing to the side of him with two fingers, making him laugh and I grumbled under my breath, turning on my side to have my back facing him and set to work repairing the already healing wounds. I snort as he appeared over me, and in an arrogant move, slumped on me and waved the jawbone mockingly. I emphatically grimaced at him, making his smirk widen at me. “Oh, sod off!” I grab a pillow and drag it to my chest and cuddled it to me, adamantly looking away from him.

 

He simply played with the bone.

 

I broke into a grin and snickered. “That was so stupid! Falling like a complete drunkard!” I crowed, and it startled a laugh out of him, falling to my side and we grinned at each other, enjoying the moment of silliness. I loosen my big grin as amusement goes out of me and I eye the bone, reaching out to touch it delicately, tracing a tip along the jaw of it. “What is the animal? Why do you wear it?”

 

“It is of a wolf, and I shall tell you another time. So much has come out, I need time to go through it.”

 

I hum at that, nodding. “Solas, what does it mean, for me to have taken your magic and magic mark in?”

 

The elf’s eyes closed in pain and I felt like I hit the nail on the head. “It is something that potentially complexes plans for me, but not at all for you. Not when you were able to beat it down. In fact, I must apologize for the pain you have gone through. It is because of me this happened.” He reached up and took my hand touching his bone pendant in his own, gripping lightly. “I apologize.”

 

I turn my hand over and entwine fingers, squeezing. “Accepted,” I reply easily, seeing he didn’t want to say, “It’s not entirely your fault, after all. How could you have predicted the one you marked would not only survive, but could suck magic in, and would then touch your orb, and _then_ take it over? No one would think about that sort of thing. As far as I know, people _don’t_ take in magic, but I’ve been doing it this whole time. It’s been useful more than it’s been annoying. And hey, I get to use _magic!_ We don’t have magic in my world! Oh sure, we have fantasy and incredible scientific breakthroughs centuries beyond anything here but it’s not _magic.”_

 

Solas smiled at my enthusiasm, pleased and curious. “Such as?”

 

“Uh, well, that gaatlok, uhm… black powder right? It explodes if you set it alight? Yeah, I’m pretty sure I know the formula to that. Three main ingredients. It was created about eleven centuries ago in my world? I think?”

 

“Three? Tell me.”

 

I sit up at that. “No. No, no, no. There’s no way I’m bringing more firepower to more sides of people. It’s far too destructive in the wrong hands.” I get up, loosening my hold on his hand.

 

He tightens it in reply. “It already exists here. Eventually we will get the recipe.”

 

“Yeah, and it’s a recipe for disaster!”

 

He snorts at that and even I felt my lips quirk. “I do not ask you to use it yourself, Lani. Is it not in my and the Inquisitions hands who uses it, who bares the guilt? If you give a knife to a person are you the murderer if they kill with it?”

 

“No. They’re not. Of course not. But a knife can also cut food, whittle wood to make ornaments, mark spots on trees for when you’re lost. Blackpowder only harms.” Well, minus blowing up old derelict buildings, I guess.

 

“We are in a war against Corypheus. You are his prime target. Every advantage is needed.”

 

I pursed my lips and but didn’t let go. “I want you to tell Leliana as well. I want her coming up to me _tomorrow_ after you tell her.” I point at the floor.

 

He nodded, focusing on me.

 

Pain goes through me and I look away, mentally cursing myself for saying anything of it. “I only know the ingredients, not how it goes together, so don’t question me more on it. I haven’t a bloody clue.” I hold up a finger. “Charcoal,” Then two fingers, “Sulphur,” and three, “Potassium nitrate.”

 

He took that in. “We do not have the word sulphur. And potassium nitrate?”

 

I could fake I didn’t know other words.

 

I didn’t.

 

“Brimstone is another term for that element? It’s known as this stone of fire?”

 

His eyes lit up and he nodded. “Drakestone.”

 

“That sounds like it could go, yes. And, KNO3… oh what was it…? A guy’s name.” I snap my fingers a couple times. “Saltpeter.”

 

“Sela petrae, perhaps?”

 

“I guess? Sounds close enough. I don’t know your terms for it. Nor could I pick it out if shown to me. Please just… last defence?” I ask, needing to know it would be.

 

Solas lifted my marked hand and bowed over it, kissing my fingers delicately. “Last defence.”

 

I had every feeling it wouldn’t be.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

  

The next day, Leliana came up to me as I plucked up the Orlesian dish, smiling beatifically as she sat by me at dinner.

 

“It is a lovely recipe.”

 

“You think so too?” I grin widely at her.

 

There was a twinkle in her eye. “Most assuredly.”

 

I turn back to my bouillabaisse happily.

 

Iron Bull watched us, slowly eating his food, trying to understand whatever meaning that implied.

 

Cheeky Frenchie.

 

 

* * *

  

 

* * *

 


	15. Blighted Things

 

 

 

** Chapter Fifteen **

 

 

I grin at my dog as he was beginning to bulk out, massive paws not looking so floppity and ridiculously big for his small size.

 

Dagna cooed at him as she washed my hair, uncaring they were sharing the communal women’s bath with a dog. “He’s so cute!”

 

Nina nodded, nervous as ever. “I’d love to have one. Maybe he’d scare off people. It’d be nice to have a companion like that. Mabari only bond to one owner, don’t they?”

 

“Yup,” Dagna nodded, gently dunking my head and washing it out, “They’re a big deal to Ferelden’s, too.”

 

“Aw, see? Everyone loves you Woofers! I wish I had a dog at home.” I sigh.

 

“Where’s home?”

 

“It’s gone, but if only I could go there I would. I’d much prefer to be just sciencing rather than traveling about and shutting rifts.”

 

Dagna hummed in agreement. “I would too in your position.”

 

“ _Wahoo!_ ”

 

A naked Sera slammed into the water, causing the others to splutter at the wave that slammed back to us and Woofers to howl in delight and doggy paddle after the cackling elf.

 

I notice Dagna flush as I come up for air and stare at the shamelessly standing Sera, hands on hips.

 

Dagna was practically drooling.

 

I snicker, wave at Sera discreetly and point at my dwarf, making Sera grin roguishly and come over and begin to tease the intelligent dwarf that completely flushed red, but they actually hit it off.

 

Nina and I coo at each other quietly.

 

Cute. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, experimenter, I, uh, I have someone I want you to meet.”

 

I look up from my work in the library, having made it an open spot for people to come up to me if they needed something. When in the Undercroft I didn’t take any messages, but also grudgingly limited my time down there. I still kept up training with Cullen’s replacement Rylen, who was Sebastian’s second in command but worked as a senior Lieutenant for the Inquisition, and I still practiced magic personally, and I still kept in with Josie every day to practise language and political understanding, but a bunch of letters Josie trusted me with to the bourgeoisie to get their money or loyalty, or studying can be done by myself.

 

“Varric? Hesitant? My my,” I tease, closing a book that was barely helping me.

 

“Yeah, yeah. So, he’s travelled quite the way…?” Varric led on.

 

“Ah, g’won then.” I get up and begin to follow him and minutes later we were on one of the battlements. It was when I heard steps from behind me I turned, and I coughed into my fist to half hide an admiring look.

 

Dude was _hot._

 

“Inquisitor, meet Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall.” He backed off, watching from a corner, leaning on the wall.

 

Oh, please let him be single.

 

I stare and then shamelessly say, “You are attractive. Like, _damn attractive._ Are you single? Available for a night of no strings fun?”

 

Hawke burst into a merry laugh. “I’m not available,” He informed with a carefree grin.

 

“Fuck,” I swear, unhappy. I turn a stink eye on Varric. “What the hell, Varric? Don’t just spring a hot guy on me as you voyeuristically watch us from afar, what the hell did I do to you?” I take it out on him.

 

The dwarf just snickered. “Surely you knew he was taken?”

 

“Uh, no. Never met the guy before, you know, as you just introduced us?” I say, making Hawke smirk.

 

“Looks like not everyone reads your books!” The mage taunted.

 

“Not a damn one!” I remark proudly, hands on hips, causing the guy to laugh and Varric to glower at me before going into his own little rueful grin at us getting along. “So this meeting is for what?”

 

“Corypheus.”

 

It clicks. “Oh, right, you’re _Hawke_. Riiiight. So you killed Corypheus with Varric here.”

 

He nodded. “Yes. The Grey Wardens were holding him, and he somehow used his connection to the darkspawn to influence them.”

 

“He influences the Grey Wardens?” I frown at that.

 

_How?_

 

“Got into their heads, messed with their minds,” Varric grabbed a bottle from a barrel, passing me an open one when I reached a hand out. “Turned them against each other.”

 

_Their minds? A psychic control? Something else?_

I frowned.

_Wait, darkspawn control?_

 

“If the Wardens have disappeared, they could have fallen under his control again,” Hawke finished.

 

Hm. I put the hole of my bottle to my lips, half crossing my arms and begin to drink. Think, think. I put my hand up when Hawke seemed about to speak, going back into the half crossed arms position once more and start pacing as I drink the sweet, tangy mead. Darkspawn connection, which tells me the dragon of his could be darkspawn as well or somehow he wrapped his magic in it and took it over – _could I do that?_ – but weren’t darkspawn also Blight infested? And that dragon did look so diseased and red… like the lyrium. So Blight. It’s the only reason I could see. So how did he control the Grey Wardens?

 

I blink.

 

…

 

Who could also hear this calling, right? If Leliana’s reports were right. That was the problem. If he can use the Blight then-

 

My bottle finished and I drop it down and stare at it. “I’m confused.”

 

“That it’s empty?” Varric derived sardonically.

 

I snort and give him a droll look. “No, you nitwit. Corypheus must use the Blight as his power, as it’s an excellent theory as to how he controls his dragon which must be completely infected due to the red lyrium which, again, is blighted, and therefore must also be how he has swayed Red Templars to him. You know, more forces on top of the Venatori that want to bring back old Tevinter? So that would lead my mind to believe that if he uses Blight to control, and then he controls the Grey Wardens and turned them on one another, then the Grey Wardens must have been infected by Blight. But then, the only Warden I have access to is Blackwall, and he _does not_ have the Blight. Not like Felix. So, either I’m wrong-”

 

“-Or Blackwall isn’t a real Warden,” The author finished.

 

Not what I was going for – I was thinking a different power from Corypheus - but that was definitely viable. “Yes.”

 

“And frankly, I’m putting my money on you.”

 

“Such expectations you put on me.” I sigh dramatically. “But, we have to find a few Grey Wardens, let me scan them and then have Leliana accuse Blackwall of being a fraud or whatever. I don’t care about that though. He’s done no harm and apparently has no spies.” I wasn’t too bothered. Stuff like this didn’t faze me. That weird sense of displacement was still there in me. Just constructs around me. I frown at the thought, wondering how I could stop thinking of it as such.

 

“Kinda lost on the scanning thing, experimenter.”

 

“I can do the average, shove magic through a person and find their ‘hurt’ points. What I have Alexius doing is a deeper one than that. What may be different to you that makes it seem I’m far better is that, between the average mage scanning and the in-production deeper one coming along, I have deeper knowledge on the body from my academic studies. Like I could tell you how a wall is made and laid out, but until I see it, I don’t know that some bricks could be different materials or sizes whereas any mage would be like ‘that’s a wall, bro’. Details, my good man. Details. I want to improve healing to an art form.” I then look at Hawke. “Speaking of, are you okay from the journey here? Any lingering pain? You did come here to advise on Corypheus after all. The least I can have done is you healed.”

 

“She always heals my horse-aches, Hawke. Better than Blondie.”

 

“You sound like a proud father,” Hawke teased with Varric chuckling and then turned to me. “I’m horse-achy.”

 

I grinned at him, putting a hand on his arm and releasing my magic, letting it flush through him and sweeping away all pains. I snort, finding he had a bunch of half-magic healed wounds and give him a look as I correct them. “If you’re not a healing mage, try not to throw magic into pains willy-nilly. You get an imbalance in what is produced and then the body has to take care of the too much and overcompensates elsewhere, tiring you out unnecessarily. It’s the main reason mages exhaust themselves so easily and everyone thinks it’s hard.”

 

He gave a devil-may-care grin at me and shrugged. “Sorry?”

 

“Stick to potions.”

 

“Will do. So!” He slung an arm around my shoulders in a devil may care fashion. “Wouldn’t happen to be a room for me, would there?”

 

“Could’ve shared mine with me, but no.” I sigh dramatically, making him laugh. “Course there is, have you seen this place?”

  

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Varric and Cassandra were arguing when I went upstairs, informed of some argument minutes ago while I was with Dorian and Gereon in the Undercroft.

 

I raise my brows.

 

“You conniving little shit!”

 

“Oi! Don’t be swinging at my author!” I snap. “Who else is going to write my bloody biography when I conk it?!”

 

Despite the situation, Varric snorted, coming around the table to my side.

 

The Seeker was indignant. “You’re taking his side?!”

 

I scoff and cross my arms. “Considering he’s not swung at you, yes. Now what is going on?”

 

“Hawke! When we needed a Leader most, Varric kept him from us.”

 

“I was protecting my friend! And Lani’s a pretty damn good Inquisitor!”

 

“Aw, thanks, scribbles.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

Cassandra spluttered at our laid back words and scowled. “That is beside the point! If anyone could have saved Most Holy-”

 

I blink and interrupt, “But it didn’t happen, Hawke wasn’t there and if he had wanted to have been there, he would have, friendly concern halting him or not. Which as an apostate on the run from the Chantry, I don’t know why he would have been. He’d have seen Seeker and run a mile and more. Don’t blame Varric for another’s action. Only we’re in control of our own.”

 

“Exactly!”

 

I gave him a raised brow. “Don’t you be keeping anything more from us, Varric.”

 

“Tch!” He crossed his arms. “I won’t, I won’t. Fair’s fair.”

 

“And if we had Hawke, maybe the Maker wouldn’t have needed to take you from your home, Lani.”

 

A cold feeling welled in my chest and I could feel my magic churn. “Don’t talk about my home, _Seeker_. No _Maker_ took me from there and I will not hear anything about my home from people here.” There was ice in my tone and I quickly shut my mouth when I saw the astonishment on their faces at my venomous reply. I go to a different topic quickly. “You’re still bereaving over your Most Holy then.”

 

Her eyes closed, pained. “I… yes, Inquisitor.”

 

I nod and remark softly, “Please do not take it out on Varric. And perhaps find someone you trust to speak your bereavement to. Come on,” I murmur to Varric, hand on shoulder and turning with him.

 

“May I… speak with you?”

 

That stopped me dead and by the stars did I want to lash out, hands tightening in fury as I reigned my magic in. “I’m dealing with my own bereavement of every single member of my family, friends and _fucking universe_ , Seeker. Find someone else.”

 

Varric looked up at me as we left.

 

“Thanks, experimenter.”

 

I look at him blankly, nod once, and then leave him to go back to my tower, running a hand over my face.

 

I didn’t see him look on after me, frowning.

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

  

I flop back on the bed in irritation, a pounding headache and ear ache lancing through me, rubbing my temples.

 

Solas chuckled lowly and moved closer, lifting my head to his crossed legs, replacing my hands with his and sending cooling magic into my tense body and relaxing me. “You will get it.”

 

“It’s exhausting, Solas. Healing, better than fine, not where I want it, but it is good. Anything else? Ha!”

 

“You are impatient.”

 

“Yes. And you don’t know what it’s like to be unable to use all the magic in your disposal when all you can feel is how obviously much there is. At least you know yours is simply regenerating slowly and you can’t yet but will eventually.”

 

“True,” He mused, fingers drawing little circles now, soothing me.

 

I sigh out, crossing my arms and turning, burying my face in his lower thigh. “So frustrating.”

 

Unsure for a moment, he then lightly placed a hand on my head. “It will come to you.”

 

“Taking it’s bloody time. Why can I get healing so quickly, but not the others? Literally _every single mage_ I know has told me it’s the hardest to become talented at, but every mage worth their salt can make a flame like that.” I snap my fingers.

 

“Griping, hm?” A feminine voice chirps.

 

I pull my head up from its comfy cushion of Solas’s sleekly muscled thigh as my adorable Dagna comes in with a stack of parchment, writing utensils and books, and remark, “My darling arcanist! It’s been too long since I saw you last!” I grin as she came over with everything, planting stuff down on the bed and kick her boots off before climbing over to us with a wide grin. “What brings you here tonight?”

 

She gave me a look. “What else but magic and science? Look, after reviewing your thesis of dwarven peoples being able to use magic once more, I think we need to do something dangerous.”

 

I groan and bury my face back into Solas’s thigh. Somewhere in the back of my head I’m surprised he allowed this in front of anyone, reticent as he was prone to be. “Not until Alexius completes the scanning project,” I said, voice muffled by body and cloth.

 

“You don’t need it,” Dagna insisted, going through her papers.

 

“There’s no way I’m risking harming you!” I say, getting up from my comfy position and glower at her, nose mere centimetres from her. “Get some other dwarf-”

 

She glowered back adamantly. “No! I’m claiming first.”

 

“But tests must be run! What if your body begins to produce more of the liquid that resonates-”

 

“That could mean more magic-”

 

“Which is, by the way, something I’m actually struggling with-”

 

“-But it might not even happen! Iron Bull never grew his eye back, did he? You did it for him! No advanced scanning magic needed!”

 

I look away, displeased, only for Dagna to pull my face back to facing her. “ _Dag_ na,” I plead softly.

 

“You can fix it.” She grinned trustingly and then guided my head down and I looked at all the parchment she then began to put in front of me, spreading it out. I take in all the knowledge we’d accumulated, pages and pages of debating and theories and diagrams… and I sigh.

 

Solas quietly picked up a very detailed drawing of the inner ear of a dwarf next to a human. “Another bone.”

 

Dagna and I both turned to him, look at each other and then grab some parchment each and then shuffled him up to the headboard, sitting on either side of him and then enthusiastically begin informing him of our work, much to his amusement that quickly settled into a sharp eyed look of intrigue. He swiftly began firing off question after question that we answered easily, having debated this particular idea often and for many hours.

 

“And I heal, not-”

 

“You know the bone composition! If you took away Bull’s scarred tissue, then you could take the extra bone away too!”

 

“They’re different tissues entirely! And still not doing it until Alexius completes his task, while I have to go and close up these stupid bloody holes instead of doing more important work!” I replied, annoyed and crossing my arms in annoyance, getting up and beginning to pace. “Not to mention I need to know our differences so I don’t mess it all up in there and leave you a mindless, drooling doll sustained only by outside help-”

 

“-That won’t happen and you know it! The most would be a migraine and bad balance until you fixed me back up!” She shuffled to the edge of the bed.

 

“Which I won’t do unless I have the scanning to give us both the best chances of success! Then you’ll be the first! Don’t be impatient! I do all I can to keep you safe, my dearest other self.” I put my forehead to hers.

 

Dagna sighed angrily at my sad eyes and nodded, somewhat petulantly.

 

I give her a big kiss on the cheek, relieved as I walk a little ways away to get some air to cool my jets.

 

“It is for the best,” Solas mused, gathering the parchment neatly. “And we leave for Crestwood tomorrow. I know Lani would not wish to leave you behind if something should go wrong.”

 

“Exactly.” I nod and look away in thought, practically feeling the eyes on my back. “Oh don’t give me that look, lovely.” I pause. “Still looking. Stop it.” I spin around in exasperation and remark, “How am I supposed to think-” I shake my head and grin at her. “You’re a pain in my arse. Shoo.”

 

Dagna giggled, came over, kissed both my cheeks and waved at Solas before disappearing with an, “I love you, Laniii!” and the door closed loudly behind her.

 

There was a moment of silence as I smiled warmly, revelling in these feelings in me, hand to heart.

 

She was real.

 

And I was slowly coming to the thought others were too, this world was settling me into it. Yet, I still had an urge to simply push every boundary and just play with it.

 

“You love her,” Solas stated, marvelling at that.

 

“Yes, and if you intend on ripping the world apart, you leave my Dagna alone. We bounce off of each other perfectly.”

 

Solas chuckled, but there was an odd look on his face. “That I can do. You and yours will not be touched.”

 

I grin at that and nod. “Good.” I turn to the balcony, looking at the now darkened sky, stars so high up above and breath-taking as always. “You know, I was thinking about your core. How it could be healed. I can do biological parts of any of us, but the core is still something so very far from what I know. Practise on understanding mine is slow going due to amount so I wouldn’t dare to try anything with yours anytime soon, but… know I am thinking on it.”

 

“I thank you, but it will heal on its own soon enough. It is re-establishing connection to the body.”

 

‘ _Re-establishing connection?_ ’

 

I peer back at that. “How does it do that?” I ask incredulously, wondrous at the thought of potentially hastening my control of the magic in me.

 

“By saturating the body constantly, reinforcing the understanding it has.”

 

“So… Adapting?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Hm.” I cross my arms. But wasn’t I doing that already? I’d literally attached magic to a part of my brain that kept me healing, and shouldn’t that-?

 

Just the ANS.

 

I squinted. I had to link it to more systems. All systems.

 

Well, fuck.

 

“Alright.”

 

“I shall go and make my preparations. Good night, Lani.”

 

I give him a quick smile, knowing he could see I’d be going into thought over it, “G’night, Sol’.”

 

A bow of the head and after a lingering look my way I didn’t pay attention to, he left.

 

Well! I might as well just go right for the biggun! I go to my beloved Earth books and begin to re-read the parts of the Central Nervous System, intending on doing it that night.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

It worked.

 

It was like it just clicked into place, splurging itself on every cell in my body and latching to every bit of surface area it could.

 

I had detailed knowledge. It had detailed direction.

 

Unblinking, I look at myself in the mirror.

 

Same face, cute enough, no weird marks or whatever, my body the exact same.

 

Just a far better magical system, one that overwhelmed and yet had me sharper, in a way.

 

“This feels good.”

 

Smiling, I turn away and begin to pack my bag. I had a lot of learning to do.

 

And from now on, I’d be learning to create cores for Dagna to have her own magic.

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

  

 

I jump off the horse, magic automatically healing me and my mount easily and I smile as I pat his neck.

 

“Shall we, people?” I ask Varric, Solas, Hawke and Iron Bull, getting confirmations back.

 

Time to talk to Hawke’s friend.

 

Who near instantly puts his sword to my throat, if not for my staff blocking it.

 

I grin at him. “Mate, it’d be a shame to lop off a head as attractive as yours, so are you the contact?”

 

He seemed to choke, eyes having widened at my words. “Well, I, uh, yes, I’m yours!”

 

My lips lifted into a grin and then tapped my weapon twice to his playfully. “Is that so?”

 

I mean, I could do with some stress relief if he could?

 

He coughed, sheathing his weapon and relieved when I did as well, though his cheeks were a slight red. “That is to say, yes, I’m your contact. Grey Warden Alistair Theirin at your service.”

 

“Inquisitor Lani Loch-Li, and I may just take that service,” I reply with a grin in my tone, playful. “So there seems to be Grey Warden’s under control of a Darkspawn. Fun times, hm? Tell me more?”

 

Alistair snorted at that. “If you’re a blood thirsty berserker, sure. We’re connected to the darkspawn, tied by an association and this link eventually that kills you.” He saw my frown and cock of the head and went on, “You hear a type of whispering, a type of music, a type of calling. First quiet, then loud enough you can’t bear it and you go to the deep roads to end it.”

 

_So the calling was true. My theory fits well._

 

Hawke went up. “And every Warden in Orlais is hearing it and thinking their time has come?” He looked at me, impressed, and I give a grin back.

 

“Yes. I think Corypheus caused this somehow. Only a Grey Warden can finish a Blight, so they’re desperate in case they’re all dying and can’t save the world.”

 

“What’s it like for you? What does the Blight inside you feel like?” I look down at his chest for a moment, thinking, waiting for the confirmation.

 

His eyes widened. “You know the ritual?”

 

Satisfaction tore through me. “No, but you just confirmed it for me. Good, good. Seems like I’m correct.”

 

Varric piped up, “What on?” He goaded Hawke, who narrowed his eyes back at the ribbing.

 

“Corypheus controls the Blight, pumping up the call to get more people under his command, which the Grey Wardens take in upon some ritual,” I reply, peering at Alistair thoughtfully. “I wonder… May I take a look?” I hold a hand out patiently, palm up.

 

“Uh, sure? Go ahead?” He took it, jerking as my magic flushed into him. “Oh!”

 

I hum and nod at what I find. “Uh huh.” There it was, horrible and fascinating as ever.

 

“What is uh huh?”

 

I check further, nodding to myself. “Yup.”

 

Alistair looked at me bewildered but I didn’t look up. “Yup?”

 

There was inflammation showing the bacterial infection, quite deeply in him. “Let me just…”

 

“Wait, what are you doing to me?”

 

I sweep that pain away. “That.”

 

The sheer relief in his slumping shoulders made me chuckle. “Oh, thank you. Much better.”

 

“So a Grey warden _is_ a Grey Warden because of the infection of Blight?”

 

“I, suppose so, yes,” The Theirin spoke, unsure.

 

“And if I were to take it away?”

 

“Cure the Blight?” He asked instantly, eyes narrowed and tone stern.

 

“I’m working on it, yes. Though, right now,” I concentrate, flushing my magic into it and narrowing in on its’ place in him. It had begun to infect his hormonal systems a bit too detrimentally for my liking so I healed what I could for now, though like my magic was now entwined with my CNS, as was the Blight with his. I wonder if I could simply take the Blight from him, draw it out to somewhere else in him. Potentially out. Right now it was far too hard to deal with in one five minute session. I wasn’t yet that good with this. “There. Not healed, unfortunately, but… lessened. I’ll have to learn more of its nature.” I muse and let go.

 

Alistair gawked at me. “Really?”

 

“Is there anything else you can tell us?”

 

A bit thrown, it took him a couple seconds to reply with, “Wardens are gathering in the Western Approach, in an old Tevinter Ritual Tower. I’m going to investigate. I could use some help.”

 

I lean on my staff. “Why not? Closing holes in the sky is far too boring.”

 

“Yes,” There was sarcasm in his tone that made me grin, “Saving the world is such a droll hobby. Who’d have it?”

 

“You, apparently, dear Grey Warden.”

 

“What can I say? I’m a sucker for the constant demands to go kill that, go save children from a burning barn, hide out in caves to meet cute healing mage ladies that actually head a religious sect with who-knows-what as their aim.”

 

“Such a burden,” I tease with a roguish grin. “Wouldn’t be interested in being a member of my Inquisition, would you? We could do with a Grey Warden at Inquisition Headquarters. Don’t quite have one in my collection of people from around the continent.”

 

Iron Bull spoke up in amusement, “We forgetting Blackwall?”

 

“He’s not a Warden,” I dismiss. “Doesn’t have the Blight in him. Didn’t you pick that up, Ben-Hassrath?” I throw an amused look over my shoulder at him.

 

Iron Bull snorted at me. “Not all of us have insane mage powers.”

 

I snort at that. “Insane, he says. Normal, I say.”

 

“I know of a Warden Blackwall,” Alistair put in. “Yet if there is no Blight in him, then that cannot be the Warden Blackwall I know.”

 

“Wait, so Blackwall isn’t even Blackwall let alone a Warden?” Varric asked in disbelief. “Who the hell is that guy? He was going around recruiting for the Wardens when not even one?”

 

“Yet he was training them to protect themselves and their loved ones,” Solas said calmly. “Regardless, we are here and he is back at Skyhold. It can be dealt with another time.”

 

“I’m sure if he wants to be one so bad then Alistair here could perhaps recruit the fraud recruiter.” I mention, already thinking of ways to deal with the Blight, frowning at the chest-piece Alistair bore. Maybe it could be taken out into red lyrium? Or would that make it stronger? Into fresh blue lyrium? Would that be bad or not? I mean, at least it’s not in people, right?

 

A snap and I blink up at the fingers.

 

Iron Bull?

 

He gave me a smirk and I peer at the hand curiously, noting the tips missing. “Oh, The Iron Bull. Why didn’t you say?” I grasped his large chunky hand in both of my own, frowning up at him and twisting my nose in displeasure. A chuckle that had me staring up in bewilderment before I focused on skin, letting it repair, heal and emerge good as new. That was easy. I look it over. Not even any orange. “There.” Good work if I do say so myself.

 

“Neat trick. Got a need to help, hm?”

 

I cock my head with a half grin at the big guy as he flexed his hand in mine. Help myself, perhaps. “Yes.” I pat his hand and let go. Let him think what he wants. I turn to Alistair. “Well, help us around Crestwood and we’ll go with you to the Western Approach. There’re other Warden’s looking for you out there.”

 

The Warden nodded. “Alright.”

 

“Varric, write a letter to the Advisors to update them of what’s happened and our next goal. Oh, and tell Dagna not to pout or I’ll postpone the surgery longer.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 


	16. Chapter Sixteen

 

** Chapter Sixteen **

 

 

We’d been in Crestwood for only a few days when near on everything was complete. The Rifts, now with the mark under my power, were closed in an instant and leftover demons were taken care of by the other five men in just as quick a time. I didn’t really get to use my magic for anything more than healing minor cuts, aches of horse riding and actually healing the horses from our loads. I was protected so completely, with Solas throwing a barrier over me, the mages then throwing spells out and Varric shooting his bolts with both on either side of me and Alistair and Iron Bull taking on roles of tank, that all I really had to do was wait patiently for about fifteen seconds.

 

It was amusing at first, but now I’m rather wanting to try my magic.

 

I mean, I can’t fight hand to hand yet, not with Templars or bandits or whoever so, yes, sure, protect the Inquisitor, la-di-da-di, but put a blade in my hand and… I think I’d have a chance?

 

Well, maybe.

 

Still in training and all that, but I needed experience. It’s not as though I couldn’t heal myself.

 

I stared up at the ceiling, arms behind head on the bed, contemplating my abilities. So my magic was under my control – but I didn’t really know how to use any of the elements, how to lay glyphs or how to read them, plant bombs in enemies and so many things… I healed, could do some barriers which easily died away if hit and I could haste, though I seriously needed to practise it and I could create music and animals. I shuffle up and lean against the head rest. Okay, so I couldn’t fight efficiently and have barely any experience in anything but demons and there would be occasions that my guardians would be away from me.

 

So, concentrate on what I could do.

 

Animals.

 

I open a hand, thinking of an inland taipan snake, smiling when a trio of them appeared neatly and easily. They rose up, tongues tasting the air and a bold orange as they stared at me, waiting. How no one else seemed to be able to do this was incredible to me. It was so easy. They were seriously missing out on this.

 

“Beautiful.” I smile as they coiled around my wrist, content. The beings were so silky and soft. They would never attack me, as would no creature I create and I sent them away, watching as they went out the window to live and protect the area, to reproduce like crazy and be under my command. “Now.” That was a normal animal I knew existed. Now to go for something that I was sure didn’t exist here. I tapped a finger to my mouth, knowing that dragons existed here, as did werewolves if Alistair was to be believed, giants and even phoenixes. Ah. “Pixiu.” I thought of what I knew of them. Head of a dragon with a humungous mouth, body like that of a horse, paws that of a lion, small wings and a singular horn.

 

But I wanted to add magic.

 

Hm. Got it. I would have their saliva heal the ground.

 

I could do this.

 

A burst of magic, and the great beast was before me, the size of the double bed I was on and panting at me as the tip of its horn hit and scraped the ceiling.

 

“So cool!” I exclaimed, admiring it and laughing as it wuffed at me, breath smelling like metal and bright eyes like liquid gold.

 

“Lani?” The door was knocked at.

 

Inwardly swearing, I tapped its nose and it disappeared, wooshing magic back into me. “Yes, Solas?” I say out loud, magic momentarily buzzing in my head before it went back into me. Another thing I’d have to practice.

 

“We felt magic.”

 

Fuck, and Hawke?

 

Was I…?

 

My eyes narrow.

 

Was I being watched by my own people?

 

“Are you decent?”

 

“I’m fine! Don’t worry! Just practising!” I call out grabbing my silver undershirt and tugging it on over my unbound chest. It was one that buttoned up and strapped around the neck like Cassandra’s, but as I was going to the door where I knew they’d stay until they’d come in, I simply hurried over, still in the leggings. I grabbed the door handle as it went and opened it, jerking it open and making Hawke stumble in. I reared back in surprise, eyes wide as he gawped down at me and then sheepishly grinned. “Uh, can I help you? Did I say you could come in?”

 

“We were worried.”

 

I gave them an exasperated look. “I can use magic you know. I was just practising-”

 

“Then let us help you!” Hawke came in, practically strutting and I threw a hand up, pointing at him with my palm up in disbelief as he went by me before putting both to hips. “So, what were you working on, what do you know and what shall we do? We could get in a round of drinks, even!”

 

A round of drinks and practising magic?

 

I suppose I could work on breaking down alcohol in my body quickly so I wouldn’t get too drunk.

 

Wait, no; that can wait until Skyhold when Dorian teaches me.

 

“We’re going to the Approach tomorrow, so no, bad idea.”

 

“Potions heal hangovers.”

 

Surprise lit my features. “I should probably carry them around, then.”

 

Hawke gave me an odd stare as Solas closed the door behind him and settled in the chair. Then it clicked. “Ah, right, healer. But here.” He took out a few and handed it to me and I took them gently, placing them down but leaving one in hand to have a look. “Just in case. For others.”

 

I wonder if I should be offended at the thought I might need it for myself or others, but it was practical. Oddly, despite being a healer, I’ve never had my hand on a potion before. “Thanks! I’ve never used a potion.” I hold it up and look into it, admiring the colour.

 

That had him surprised. “Never?”

 

“Best healer you will ever meet, my friend, right here.” I pat my chest.

 

His eyes drop down to my hand. “Huh. Will remember that.”

 

Popping the cork, I smell it. “Hawke, if I use it now, fully well, does it have any detrimental effects?” I ask, looking at him dead on, head cocked.

 

“No, it just would work on any little thing and the rest would be wasted, but now you’ve popped the cork-” I raise a brow and he chuckled before he smirked at me. “You’ll have to guzzle it down. It’ll go off in a day.”

 

I looked at it in surprise. “Really? That seems awfully short. What chemical reaction would that be?” I toss the bottle back and drink, swallowing with a concentrated look on my face but honestly, nothing happened but for the odd leftover taste on my mouth of herbs. “Didn’t do anything. Here.” I had it back to him. “Do dud ones happen a lot?”

 

“Not at all. You can tell by the sheen if it took.” He swirled the remaining red liquid, an opalescent colour in the surface of it glinting off the light from the candles and the moon coming through the window of the inn. “You see?”

 

“I do see. So…?”

 

Hawke gulped it back, feeling revitalised and healthier in an instant, magic re-growing faster now he was in tip-top condition. “You really didn’t feel anything?” He asked in disbelief.

 

I shook my head. “I constantly heal my body,” I say, hands rolling around each over, “And against my magic, I’m figuring that a potion would likely be considered useless. Just a naff tasting drink.”

 

“Lani, that is remarkable.” Solas had leant forward, intrigued and eyes intent. “This ability comes from all the magic you hold?”

 

“Yes. I wonder.” I concentrate my magic in me, separate it and take it out, holding it in my fingers, bright and glistening and boldly orange. Hawke was nearer, so I hand it to him, already feeling my magic rebuild. “Here. Have a small chunk of my magic as back-up in case you run out.”

 

The man took it hesitantly but sucked in a breath when he saw it suck into him and it swiftly raced around him, settling into his magical core and stretching it out to fit in. It didn’t hurt so much as make him uncomfortably aware of how little he had in comparison to her, because this was a good four or five times bigger than what he had and he felt alive with her magic in him. “Wow. By the… By the Maker… This is…” He stared at me incredulously. “How did you do that?”

 

“I… just did? Just plucked it out, made temporary barriers that resonate with your magic and then convert it into your core's magic. Well, let’s have fun doing drunk magic! I’ll get the drinks, you two plot what to do.” I clap my hands with a grin and then go to the door.

 

“Wait! You’re not dressed properly!”

 

I look down at myself. “You’re right, no shoes.” I go for them, picking one up and taking the sock out.

 

Hawke scrambled over, looking down at me in fond exasperation. “You’re like Merrill. Mind on the mission. And adorably cute too. I’ll get things.” He pat my cheek and off he went.

 

A moment of quiet passed.

 

I squinted at Solas. “I’m not too sure if that was mother-henning or patronising.”

 

He chuckled, getting up and coming over, holding me by the upper arms. “We merely wish you safe.”

 

I grin up at him, acting oblivious while inwardly I wanted to curse. “Well I do need to keep progressing with my magic. Would be a shame to have to stop,” I muse, wondering where he’d left the little light mote I gave him. I cock my head, tracing it and finding it in his core. “Oh, you keep it in there?” I could even feel some protective barriers around it and put my hand to his chest with a playful smile. “Aww, So’.”

 

A little rueful smirk, hands dragging down my arms to grasp my hands and raising them to his lips. “Now where else would I keep your alliance?” His eyes were warm and gentle.

 

I look up in thought at that, head tilting to the side. “I don’t know actually; your rotunda? Your rooms? They are lights mainly. I thought you would use it practically.” I idly make one to my right, lifting a hand and tapping it with a finger so it spread and multiplied like bacteria, the pair of us watching them go. I was moving away to go to the door when it knocked, unsure of the look on Solas' face. Varric was there with drinks. “Scribbles! Hawke sent you up?” I open the way for him and close the door behind him.

 

“Said you guys will be doing drunk magic so he’s ordering some late night snacks. Figure I shouldn’t miss it. Could be inspiration.” He looked up at the lights now fluttering about the place prettily. “Seems I’m right. Great ambience.”

 

“Sweet. Red or mead, Solas?” I pluck up red, predicting.

 

“Red wine, please.”

 

I look back at him, seeing him his usual polite self once more, cool as a cucumber.

 

He’d been rather touchy-feely with me just then.

 

Did… did Solas truly have affection for me?

 

I’d only really been friendly with him, or suspicious, or rather uncaring of his plans, so surely _not?_

 

Yeah.

 

Yeah, thinking about it I doubted it.

 

It was the ally thing. Elvhen, with all their long life, probably were used to touching and lost their discomfort with personal bubbles, I bet.

 

Naturally, I wouldn’t know it was the opposite.

 

Soon enoug,h Hawke was wanting to show me how to use blood magic just in case of emergencies and Varric was aggravated and trying to get him to stop while I was throwing question after question out about haem groups and their interaction with the magic and how much was needed and if the thickness of the blood played any sort of roll of distorting soundwaves that Hawke gazed at me in bewilderment about and Solas was humming curiously to, nodding in just as much interest with. Varric gave up and instead was gleefully scribbling away. The three of us mages were on the bed against the headrest, myself in the middle with us humans watching the elf now perform a dance of two ice statues doing some courtly style.

 

“Wow!” I clap, astonished and beaming, with Hawke also joining in enthusiastically.

 

“Such control…” The Champion murmured. “I wonder.” He raised a hand and quite like a conductor would move his hands to silence his orchestra, Hawke drew a line and a fiery flooring and grand ballroom appeared in a fiery blaze. It stuck, if flickering a little out of control, but Hawke’s imagination and precise determination kept it up.

 

I lit up. “Me too!” I concentrated on making some music and lilting music box tunes began to play Greensleeves and I dragged forward my little light motes, compressing them to fit the size of the hall as if they were chandeliers. “Beautiful.”

 

Varric dropped his quill and slowly walked over to the side of the bed, fingers inky and aching so good at all the writing, but for this, he had drawn close and was enraptured. He could feel the power flaring against his skin, could feel the distinct qualities of each of them and their magic. They were all feeling like their specific element, but he felt their differences so keenly. There was Hawke, charismatic and forthright and yet somehow hazy, like a fun hot summers day in his juvenile years. There was Lani, playful and curious beyond measure, bright and reminding him of staring up at the sky at night where all the stars glinted, so luminescent and otherworldly and immense in scope. There was Solas, who, as Varric would suspect, was exactly like he thought; an old grove with filled with history, feeling mysterious and tempting but there was a crispness to him that spoke of youth.

 

“That’s incredible,” He murmured.

 

“Could you imagine performance groups going around and showing stories in such ways? Pure magic,” I say wistfully.

 

“It would be a wonder.” There was longing in his tone.

 

“I’m lagging,” Hawke muttered, only for me to hold his hand and flow my own energy into him. “How the…”

 

But I ignored him, humming my favourite childhood tune as it played and my magic swirled in Hawke and letting him take from it as a secondary core temporarily. Ah, so I could do that? Hm, furthering my research on core creation, this was. I put my magic around his core, subtly testing the give and feel of it and beginning to stretch it out, healing flaring in him. Jesus, that actually worked, Hawke gawping at me as I stared up at him as I turn to him fully, unfocused. I pulled it out far for him, healing and solidifying this as his new amount of magic. It was still incomparable to mine, but it would definitely help him out. I smile in victory at it.

 

“Be careful, Lani. You may accidentally form a bond.”

 

I slowly removed my lights, looking at Solas warily. “What type of bonds can be made?”

 

“His magic can latch onto yours, creating a need in him to be by your side and to do as you wish. There could be a slavery one. There could be one of marriage, or allies or temporary servitude in return for power. Yes, like a demon,” He said to Hawke over my head when he saw the frown of concern. “It is not just beings from the Fade that can do such.” The Fade expert caught my frown, my magic dropping from the illusion before me, taking his own with it. “But it can be benevolent. It _is_ only a form of payment for a service.”

 

Hawke took his away, thoughtful, and the room went dark.

 

Greensleeves still played.

 

“It’s a pretty melody,” Varric murmured after a few moments.

 

“I think it’s about seven centuries old. Somehow survived. My favourite childhood melody.” My eyes were half closing and acknowledged to myself that my magic could stop the alcoholic effects lasting automatically, though I actually had to concentrate on holding it back to let myself get drunk. _If_ that was possible now it was running without my input. Wow. There goes ever getting drunk then. “So, show me more? My magic was gifted to you, might as well use it.”

 

“Sure you’re not trying to take me prisoner?” He teased.

 

Taunting, I quip, “Never know; you might be into bondage, Hawke.”

 

A laugh, and he begins using my magic in him to flare out his fire in mesmerising swirls and whirls above us.

 

I hug a pillow to me, watching the show and languorously falling asleep, slumping onto him. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

  

I find myself awakening to the sun…

 

And something brushing my nose.

 

I bat it away and turn from it to bury my face into a body.

 

‘ _Who the-?_ ’

 

The feel of bone answered that.

 

Ah.

 

“Why you gonna do that, Sol?” I grumble and look up at him, sitting up, until I felt heavy something on me and squint down at my stomach.

 

Where Hawke was snoring.

 

“Aw, gross, he drools,” I groan-laughed and then grinned as Hawke mumbled something and looked up sleepily. “I am… quite happy to be like this, waking up with two gorgeous men.”

 

“What will the people think?” Solas said dryly.

 

Hawke snickered, patting my hip and getting up. “ _Scandalous._ ”

 

“Wouldn’t mind a scandal happening over either one of you,” I say with a carefree smile and get up. “Now I have to wash because Solas wasn’t the one leaving a mess all over me after we finish our night activities.”

 

“Someone’s not doing it right,” Garrett snarked at the pair of us.

 

Solas smoothly got up. “Someone has manners… and doesn’t let a drop go to waste. Do recall that if you wish for an experienced hand over a messy pup.” He informed me with a glint in his eyes, one hand on my back and then leaving the room with all dignity.

 

I looked to Hawke, eyes wide and a climbing lecherous grin on my face.

 

The man barked a laugh and got up. “Oh I do like being here with you!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

  

My eyes drifted across the tavern we were in, catching sight of a few nice males.

 

It really did occur to me how long it’d been since I’d had a man.

 

I’d been here for months, dealing with so much crap that a nice night in the sack seemed deliciously freeing. Plus before I’d even got here it’d been ages, ever busy with coursework and work and friends and family. Dating and sex had taken one hell of a backburner, and now I felt it boiling in me, feeling distinctly empty in places.

 

“I wouldn’t go there.”

 

I look sideways at The Iron Bull, my companion as the others went about their business in the market, restocking on whatever they needed with Varric getting me a new book from a bookshop as I’d been hungry like Iron Bull had been. “Oh?”

 

“That one’s gonna last a minute before he pops. Gets his jollies a lot, but never learnt how to get a woman going. You can tell by how he treats the interest, how he talks to his boys about them. No good for you. Or your reputation, Boss.” My surprise was shown apparently because he went on, “I can smell the pheromones wafting from you.”

 

“Can’t help it. Realised it’s been too bloody long.”

 

“I’m always available for your use,” He flirted, but was no less serious.

 

I wave that off. “It’ll be different between us then. Not doing that unless I want to be serious with you. You’re one of mine, wouldn’t do anything less for my circle. I just want to bang and bounce, baby.”

 

The Ben-Hassrath laughed uproariously. “Don’t worry, I can go for that too.” He winked.

 

I throw him an exasperated look. “You’re just horny in more ways than one,” I remark, eyeing his antlers.

 

“Not gonna lie there.”

 

The others came in, noting my half grimace half grin and slumped position and the qunari’s amused one and took everything as fine, sitting down and eating as the ordered meals came over.

 

I note them surrounding me.

 

Seriously, I was losing them and picking _someone_ up soon.

 

 _‘These men were far too protective of me,_ ’ I think as I lean back as I take in the people of the tavern, spoon in mouth, watching them go about.

 

So naturally at the next tavern stop I went to bed early with aims of going down for a late night drink. I did actually sleep for a bit, but it was far too early to get a full amount of sleep, so about midnight I was refreshed. I ran a brush through my hair, letting it loose around me, in a simple change of shirt, the only other one I had. I first go out of my room, where my clothing had been cleaned upon request in a basket and took that in and went downstairs, noting I was the only female there. Immediately I was alert from that alone, but I went to the bar, swiftly deciding on grabbing a bottle and getting drunk in my room instead. “Got any whiskey, dear bartender?”

 

A bottle was clunked on the bar before me.

 

It didn’t take long before some man tried his luck. Blonde, luxurious brown eyes, roguish smile. He was a man that looked like he smelt good. “Looking for luck in a bottom of a cup?”

 

“Something like that. Name’s Ann.” I smile at him. “Want a glass?”

 

“A kind woman,” He purred, accented, and came closer watching with a slight smirk as I poured him a glass and then push it forward, getting closer.

 

He diiiiid smell good.

 

…And he didn’t give me his name.

 

“Antivan, hm? _So what would an Antivan be doing here?_ ” I question, making his smile widen at his language.

 

“Zevran?”

 

Both of us turn to see a Grey Warden we both knew.

 

“Alistair!”

 

“You better not be planning on her being your next job?”

 

I blinked at that, staring at the Warden.

 

Job?

 

“What business is that of yours, old friend?”

 

Alistair’s eyes narrowed. “Because I’m currently on her side. And her side is the one that can help with that big green uncontrolled thing in the sky? So none of your stabby business thank you.”

 

Stabby business? Job?

 

It clicked.

 

Oh great, an assassin.

 

I knock by drink back shivering at the burn and pour another, face screwed up. This shit could peel paint. It was the nastiest drink I’d had.

 

I oddly wanted more.

 

“Also that’s poisoned,” Zevran pointed out.

 

My body swiftly went into max heal mode as I instantly focused my liver on working harder. Nothing happened after a moment and I narrowed my eyes at him. “Liar.”

 

He smirked widely, running a finger along the rim of the glad. “Yes, this is true. But you won’t know until the morning.”

 

“Yeah, no. I healed myself of alcohol already. Here.” I push the bottle forward and stand up, irritated. “Because I’m going to forever associate you with this shit whiskey and I don’t want you or it anywhere near me. He’s paying,” I tell the barkeep, pointing at the blond next to me.

 

“Such harsh words!”

 

I was already gone though, clapping Alistair on the upper arm twice as I went past him with the guy glowering at his _old friend_ the pouting elf as he crossed his arms sternly at Zevran.

 

Entering my room and locking the door, I flopped on my bed.

 

Why was it so hard to get laid?! Wasn’t this the medieval times? Weren’t they _all_ doing it because they were poor? This sucked.

 

I frown at something.

 

Alistair was up? Was he on guard duty?

 

I didn’t realise the men were doing that here as well. It bewildered me as to how sheltered I was being made to be. I mean, we all took turns at night a few hours each when camping out. I did my fair share of gutting animals and cooking and erecting the tents. I enjoyed seeing to the horses and healing the lot of us up. I was pulling my weight.

 

So what gives?

 

I’d love to say I didn’t need the protection, but clearly I just had a run in with an assassin and would have likely ended up dead.

 

…But, would I _really_ have ended up dead?

 

I killed demons easily enough, surely an elf would be easier? Well, trained as an assassin he indeed was, yes, but he was just as susceptible to magic as others were and hell, in an emergency life or death scenario I’d halved a whole damn town with my magic. Though I suppose it was best I have less encounters for my own safety… thus the protection would be needed for guidance, because, yeah, I kind of still had the trusting mentality of my birth country. Perhaps I was being a brat to think this way? After being so used to freedom around home base at Skyhold and around my world, it was hard to let go of when there were others that knew the world better and… it felt like they’d been caging me.

 

Was I being an idiot fool just because I wanted a bit of nookie?

 

Or should I push on forward on my own path?

 

In the end, I don’t care about what was best for this world, Solas was going to do his thing and we were allies and I’d be left with me and mine safe.

 

Right?

 

Or was I just getting played like I just had been by a bloody assassin?

 

But then the magic of Solas’s in me and me taking it over and him acting all considerate…?

 

That meant I wasn’t, _right?_

 

I mean, I’ve been able to feel him this whole time, at the edge of my senses, just like Cullen.

 

Shit. Should I be tagging more people like that? It’s not as though it took anything to sustain. As always, it was just left there, using its own emanated energy mixed with that of their bodies ATP to maintain it. Should I be making my own area to defend?

 

Skyhold was clearly Solas’ domain.

 

“Gah.”

 

I get up and simply began using my magic, practising to use the built-up frustration in me wanting to be free from this situation.

 

Time to throw out more animals to appease my need not to feel useless.

 

Perhaps a fennic fox this time? I mean, it was super fun to mentally track all these animals all over Thedas considering my magic was in them and those cute little blighters got everywhere.

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

 


	17. Apoptosis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments, I really didn't think people would like another MGiT as Inquisitor with science on the brain but I am sure glad you all seem to really like the science!

 

**Chapter Seventeen**

 

                                                       

 

A week and we were in the Western Approach, heat blazing on us and I began to focus on my skin, allowing it to take the damage and repair it swiftly. I tug the coat off, tying it around my waist, and my overtop, shoving that in my bag, leaving behind the undershirt and a chest bound by a bandage to prevent bounce. I didn’t care about the stares of the guys at my actions, and they didn’t comment either, simply following lead. Glad one of us did, I suppose.

 

“Aw, everyone’s trying to be like me!” The Iron Bull teased, eyes feasting in the now available skin.

 

“We’re all such fans,” Hawke replied easily. “Especially of that breast strap.”

 

“It’s a harness. A _harness._ ”

 

“Right.”

 

I grin at Varric who was ever narrating in his head and he winked back, making me scrunch my nose up cutely, shoulders lifting playfully and making him chuckle and then go back to talking to Solas, who had an indulgent smile on his lips.

 

“Stop flirting with Varric, he’s mine, don’t you know?” Garrett rode up to me.

 

“’Scuse me? You’ve _already_ got a biography, he’s my author now. Go away.”

 

“I’ve relatively sure he’s _my_ best friend.”

 

“But I’m the one he’s going to profit from so he needs to stay by _my_ side.”

 

The dwarf scoffed and looked behind us from his horse, next to Solas and having been speaking about some book they’d read. “You’re both pretty, ladies.”

       

“Stay out of it, Varric!” We both retort pointedly, and then look at each other at being in sync and high-five with a cheer.

 

“Alright, alright. You can have him for now.” He slung an arm around my shoulder.

 

I hugged him around the chest with one arm and squeezed. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep him safe until I return him back to you, hale and healthy.”

 

“Who says I’m going back to Hawke,” He told me and then looked at the Champion, “or staying the whole time?”

 

We rode quicker to be on each side of him.

 

“Where’re you going?”

 

“Why wouldn’t you stay?”

 

Varric burst out laughing.

 

I put a hand to my chest, faking incredulity. “This man isn’t taking us seriously, Garrett!”

 

“The temerity!” He sucked in a shocked breath and catches my eye.

 

The two of us snort and then cackle, hugging the author in between us and making him pat us fondly as if we were his kids.

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

  

“But why?”

 

The Grey Warden shrugged. “It’s in the legends. Silverite is best to kill demons and archdemons with.”

 

“But there must be a reason why.” I frown, next to the fire in the camp.

 

“Well it doesn’t rust?”

 

“Doesn’t…” I cock my head, looking up at the twinkling night sky. Okay, metals weren’t my thing, but I knew why rust was red. It was the oxygen reacting with it, quite like red blood cells. So the metal not rusting must mean it had some layer of protective barrier due to some sort of oxygen reaction with some of the elements in it. It must be that which left the protective film over it, perhaps making it good against demons? Uh… Maybe. So… _perhaps_ this film was what stopped it? Weren’t some metals used in wounds to, uh, suck up poisons or infections or, or, um something? Some rattled at the back of my brain, but because I’d never studied that before, I knew I’d never guess the answer.

 

My nose twisted up.

 

I didn’t like that.

 

I went back to the thoughts of demons.

 

“But what would it be?”

 

“The no rust thing?”

 

“No, no, I already know why on that. I’m just wondering why demons would be more affected by that.”

 

Alistair looked at me as I mused, sitting up. “What, really?”

 

“Huh. Oh. Yeah. Oxygen reaction with the elements in the silverite because ore isn’t pure so the multiple different insides that made up the ore have different reaction levels with the air. One or more I’m guessing creates a reaction that makes a sort of protective shell along the surface area of the metal, so then, voila, no rusting. Or at least, suuuuper slow rusting, enough that any one person that picks it up will end up dying before they notice anything change.”

 

He was suitably impressed. “Ohhh. Wow. How’d you know that?”

 

“University education,” I reply absently, thinking on the difference between the Fade and the Waking world being the concentration of magic. “I mean… It kind of goes. But then… ngh.” I shiver, cold. Desert nights were no joke. I was already in a furred blanket.

 

“Want me to get a blanket?”

 

“It’s only my back…” I pause, getting an idea. “Say, hug me from behind.”

 

“W- _What?_ ” He spluttered not expecting it, but I already got up with the forgotten book by my side, blanket coming off and looking at him expectantly. It’s not like anyone would care. The Inquisition scouts were guarding the perimeter, my team had gone to their beds but for myself and Alistair, and everything was peaceful. Seeing my bemused look, he gave a rueful smile. “I suppose I haven’t held a woman in a good while.”

 

“And I haven’t had a man hold me for a while. See? S’all good!” I chirp, putting the book between my legs and flaring the blanket around his shoulders. He caught it and held his arms open and with a grin I take the book into my hands and settled in for a nice hug on a nice chest. Good thing he’d taken off his chest piece and pauldrons; that would have gotten uncomfortable quick. I close my eyes at the feeling of being cuddled by a guy and smile a little bashfully when his chin rests on my shoulder. I hide it by raising the book, satisfied.

 

“ _That means I worked with professors and mercenaries alike in tracking down beasts, taking in their numbers to make sure they weren’t overbreeding or under-breeding and ruining the ecology. The bionetwork should be maintained as much as possible while also profiting beings. Not so much in money but as in ingredients to be harvested for health purposes, or safe travel through some parts of the lands to maintain contacts between countries with dangerous in between lands and trade links. Then there’s also looking after the land so we don’t lose beautiful landscapes to a ton of dragon dung. Nasty business that. Seriously, the stench lingers._ Huh, _”_ Alistair read out loud, intrigued. “It really does. I like this.”

 

“Biography of a beast hunter. Ivy Montgomery. She’s pretty candid, I like it. Hey, read to me.”

 

“Already your chair, I suppose.” He paused as I stretched out and then slumped back on him, smirking when he stuttered out, “ _T-The…_ ” 

 

* * *

 

  

* * *

 

I woke with a little grunt leaving me as I was suddenly lifted from my comfy circle of warmth and flung over a blue shoulder, mindful of a horn. “Eh? Bull? W’as’g’d, bro?”

 

A snort left him. “No offence, but we really can’t have our Inquisitor found like this.”

 

“Huh? Then let me down, my dude. I need to pee and you’re pressing on my bladder.”

 

I was slid down his body, which really woke me up, and I stared up at him bewildered before turning to a flustered and annoyed Alistair. “Hey, hey. Ten out of ten, would sleep on again.” I grin and wink and then go off to clean up.

 

I neglect to see him grin dopily after me only to narrow his eyes at an intimidating Iron Bull.

 

The crew feels a little different when I come back and I smirk a little on the inside, staff over my shoulders and wrists hanging over the pole lazily. The scouts and such are going about their business, but my little group was quiet and tense and goddamn it the little inward grin I had disappeared quickly as I realised there was actual annoyance on some of their faces. Hawke and Varric were amused, but Alistair, Iron Bull and Solas were clearly piqued about something and the scout with them looked a bit edgy at being around them.

 

Until he saw me and exhaled in relief and came over straight away, bowing lowly. “Inquisitor!”

 

I give him a warm smile. “S’up? You’ve got news for me?”

 

A short bow. “Yes, Inquisitor! This way, please!” He went off quickly.

 

I smile after him, bemused and then look at the others. “You lot wanna stop traumatising my staff? Chill out.” I let the staff fall down as I put a hand to my hip with an exasperated look their way and follow. The next hour was spent with the scouts, acknowledging Alistair and then Solas with us a while later as we talked resources, strategic points and lines of defence. And apparently a guy obsessed with dragons. “So he there’s by himself? Weird. No one has attacked him?”

 

“The only one that knows dragons well in a land that has one?”

 

“I suppose that would be a good reason, wouldn’t it? And he just stays there?”

 

“Yes, Inquisitor.”

 

“Huh. What an absolute trooper. I want him. How do we bring him into our fold? Send help his way, maybe?”

 

The scout looked thoughtful. “From the reports, the best way would be to help him with his dragons.”

 

“We are not going to help out this madman.” Alistair was adamant. “Let the man risk his life.”

 

Solas nodded. “I quite agree. We cannot risk the life of the Inquisitor over a dragon.”

 

Irritation nipped at me. _The life of the Inquisitor._ That pissed me off. “You can stay here, if you like. I know Iron Bull would love this venture. Hawke would be up for it and Varric would loyally follow.” Then logic prevailed and yes, it was best I go see these Grey Wardens over an animal, no matter how cool it would be. Damn responsibility and morals and, ugh, all _that stuff_. “Actually, thinking about it-” I turn to them. “Us three can go to the tower the Wardens are gathering, and those three can go down south to the Draconologist and we can meet up with them. Or, unless whatever at the tower is a game changer, but then-” I look to the scout. “Wardens, how many?”

 

“We have not seen many at the tower but there have been sightings all over and a gathering is predicted.”

 

“Shit. Alright, alright, all of us to the tower.” I say over my shoulder to the Grey Warden. I connect eyes with him. “Get them ready to go, Alistair.”

 

“Inquisitor.” He smiled playfully with a little bow of the head and I watched him go, charmed.

 

My cheeks may have been a little red.

 

And I may have been smiling to myself as I looked back down at the map of the Western Approach I was standing before.

 

Blonds with Ferelden accents seemed to be my-

 

My stomach dropped.

 

Ferelden?

 

_English!_

 

I meant _English_.

 

My mouth was dry suddenly and a sense of disbelief and fury welled in me.

 

How could I make such a mistake?!

 

“Excuse me a moment.” I left to go to a tent I was supposed to be in that night, bigger than the others, with its own vanity and bed. I went to the mirror on the vanity, some small round thing, looking at the visage before me. Same eyes, same nose and lips and ears and cheeks – but with the most vicious scowl I’d ever had on me. My face contorted in pain. I’d never had this level of emotion in me before, never such anger or vitriol. What was this world doing to me? Tears welled in frustration and wanted to fall. I kept them back until I couldn’t and cursed.

 

“Lani?”

 

Fear slashed through me as I looked up, seeing him come in and widen his eyes at my crying state. I hated he saw that. “Go away! Did I say you could come in?!” I hissed out.

 

“Please, my friend-”

 

“Oh it’s _friend_ now is it? Not _Inquisitor?_ And don’t give me that ‘it’s deference before your staff’ thing. Since when have I cared?” Then I turn away and sigh haggardly. “Sorry, I’m taking it out on you. But, just go, please, I-” I stop at hands on my upper arms from behind me and slump.

 

“How can I leave my friend like this?” He asked softly, eyes connecting with mine in the mirror. “What is wrong, Lani?”

 

I looked away, lips pursing. “It’s going.”

 

“What is?”

 

“My world! I’m English, okay? I have an English accent. I thought… that Alistair’s accent was Ferelden. Not English. I shouldn’t have thought that. What’s next? Fairy tales from my childhood being replaced by ones from here? How it was to taste the egg tarts my mother loved to make for special occasions? To smell the scent of oud my best friend loved so much?” I shove out of his hold and turn on him, snapping out angrily, “It’s going, Solas, and I can’t get it back! I want home so badly sometimes… At least you can get yours back.” I look at the mirror and heal my face up, puffiness going and redness disappearing in an instant. I fake a grin, making sure it hit my eyes and nodded at myself. Looked natural and real. Good enough. “Okay.” I left to go to the others of my close group, expecting him to follow and he did, silent and brooding, having watched the change.

 

I suddenly missed Dagna.

 

She understood me.

 

I really needed a hug from someone like that.

 

I got up onto the horse given to me and winked at the scout, who grinned back as I got up.

 

But if I got that hug, I’d likely cry pathetically again.

 

There was nothing for it; I’d have to stimmy the need to cry, block that.

 

Only magic mattered to me in this world.

 

Magic, Dagna and Josie.

 

That little trifecta… I’d do anything for.

 

Feeling greater peace at the thought of them, I sent a twinkle of magic into my mount to keep it healed and kicked my horse into going forth. The beast burst into movement, the others taking my lead and going with me. I wasn’t going to give up on my world. This body would damn well last me however long it took. I would have to keep refreshing the cells. But, I wonder if I could do the more with the cells? My mind was filled with atrophy and body processes until the time we got to the tower and come upon the grim sight of dozens of dead Wardens decaying on each other and then some guy commanding unwilling Wardens to take a demon as a bond by using blood magic of killing their fellow Wardens.

 

Wow.

 

Grim.

 

“Inquisitor! What an unexpected pleasure! Lord Livius Erimond of Vyrantium, at your service.”

 

“Oh? Can I had some fried scorpion then? Bit of garlic and chilli sauce or whatever is spicy around these parts? Ah, and these Grey Wardens out of being subservient to you, too. That’d be grand.”

 

He laughed at that. “But they’re so well trained! Hands up, Wardens!”

 

The group did so.

 

“And down!”

 

Mindlessly, it was done.

 

“Now how did you do that? You-”

 

“Release them at once!” Alistair barged in.

 

A fission of irritation took me.

 

I _hated_ being talked over.

 

Livius must have seen my annoyance. “Well, well, is the Inquisitor not even respected in her own group?”

 

That hit my pride so I grinned wider for it. “Who knows? I sure don’t. But apparently being a leader doesn’t count for much if you’re a measly mage healer. Disrespecting magic and my science. Honestly.” I lean on my staff nonchalantly. “So brash, hm? No wonder the Wardens were taken so easily, always leaping to the dramatics.” I ruefully say to Livius, who chuckled at the camaraderie.

 

“Yes, doing this to themselves, always leaping to conclusions. The Warden way. I went to Clarel, a Warden-Commander, you see, and knowing her desperation I was full of sympathy and ideas. Raise a demon army we planned, march us into the Deep Roads and kill the Old Gods before they awaken! This binding would help them, but sadly for them they’re going through a side-effect of being my masters’ slaves. Of course, the army we raise won’t be going down, oh no no! That’s a waste! No, it’ll be going across.”

 

“And then Tevinter gets the gold that is Thedas and Corypheus gets his Black City. Right, right.”

 

“You are quick of mind! The Blight is what controls them, and my master controls that!” Livius was happy to inform.

 

“Yeah, see, that’s great and all, but you’re telling me things I already know. So Corypheus is going to take over Thedas, yes? What happens when you lot in Thedas eventually turn on each other and up in Black City, Corypheus doesn’t give a shit about you lot anymore? I mean, why have _loose ends_ with their own minds when you can have a bucket load of demons under your command? And why care about Thedas when you’ve got the Black City? You’re just going to get thrown away after a few years to be quite honest. All variables must be as controlled in an experiment, and if you don’t need that variable, you take it out.” I cock my head at him, still smiling.

 

Erimond’s lips twitched down in annoyance. “Variable indeed! But you are right, a variable must be taken out, _but it won’t be me_. The Elder one showed me how to deal with you.” He raised his hand red and flaring bright.

 

I blink.

 

“What? Why does it not work!?”

 

“Are you trying to do something to me, _dear variable?_ ”

 

That struck a cord in him.

 

“Su-Such a word is not applicable to me!”

 

“How about another word? Apoptosis.” I _haste_ to his side and touch him, letting some magic enter forth and ignoring my called out name from my group.

 

Apoptosis was programmed cell death. It was controlled in the body to keep cells working as fresh and efficiently as they could so the body worked at its premium. It happened in all multicellular organisms and all in different fashions. For instance, when a tadpole changes into a frog, the structure of the tail is no longer needed, so the ‘tail’ cells kill themselves off. It matches cell division, which is formations or creation of cells, so the body never had too much or too little. Homeostasis, baby. However when it did have too much, atrophy can happen, but where it doesn’t have enough, cancer can happen. Also, when a cell dies from an acute injury, it swells and bursts all over neighbour cells, causing the inflammatory response.

 

I really wanted to try it out, so I did, considering I had a perfect specimen to try it on before me.

 

He jerked out of my hold as I begin the process, but my magic was already in him, so it was too late for him. “What on Thedas are you talking about?”

 

“As I said, I’m a healer, so I must know about the body quite intrinsically.” I view him as he feels something in him and gasps as I focus on speeding it up and watch in disgusted awe as he grotesquely puffs out before me, completely inflamed. I see him about to call out and jolt my magic up, cutting his vocal cords and watch as he then flops to the floor, gurgling and choking up blood. It wasn’t enough as the Grey Warden’s do begin to attack, but Solas had thrown up a powerful barrier around me to stop them coming in. Curious, I go down into a crouch, seeing his body now start to atrophy before me, muscles decaying and skin loosening and yet massive bulges that must be tumours billow out from his skin, slapping to the floor wetly as they maliciously continued to grow.

 

It was _fascinating_ , if horrific.

 

Within about eight seconds he was dead.

 

I look up as a Grey Warden came forth with his sword and point my staff at him, a blast of Fade blowing half his head to smithereens before turning back to the body without care to the ease of destruction of life. It’s not as though I couldn’t recreate it, plus he was the enemy. Lay in the bed you made and all that. I tug at the clothing to see more, absently hearing the quiet as I inspect him, wondering what else I could find. Hawke was the first to get to me and I smiled up at him. “Hello, gorgeous.”

 

He stared at the sight of me over the body. “Hello, scary lady. You are… well? What now?”

 

I chuckle and stood up as the others drew near. “Well, we already knew everything he said. What a waste of my time coming here was.” I mention with a sigh as I go down the stairs.

 

“Hey, Boss, you want to _not_ scare the shit out of us by doing that? Can’t guard a body that isn’t there.” Iron Bull mentions, crossing arms.

 

Another trying to boss me around? I gave him a frank stare, snort and simply state, “Get on my fucking level then.”

 

Varric chokes on a laugh at that.

 

Iron Bull cracks a smirk. “Can’t argue with that.”

 

“Now with him dead, we don’t know their next step.” Hawke comes to join us, and I look at him. “Not that I’m speaking against the terrifying woman with a killer touch.”

 

Alistair looked in a direction, getting an idea. “There is an abandoned Warden Fortress called Adamant. They could have some extra Wardens there.”

 

“Then the Warden and I will scout it out and confirm the other Wardens are there. Shall we meet you back at Skyhold?”

 

I nod at that. “Yes.” I needed a break from all this crap.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lana's major dissociation problem is taking a nosedive.


	18. Blighters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all you readers, the ones that kudos, comment, and bookmark for taking a chance on this fic! It's wonderful to see! x

 

 

 

**Chapter Eighteen**

 

 

 

I was waiting for it to be honest, feeling the stares on me from the other three from time to time around the fire at the desert camp. We’d just gotten jumped by White… whatever’s, some gang, and I’d used the apoptosis ability once more, experimenting with it out of the others sight, wondering how fast I could use it. Very fast, was the answer and it pleased me to note that I could now manipulate another’s body as well as my own or a creation I made with a touch.

 

Before the camp fire, I tried to manipulate the flames, but, frustratingly, elements seemed to stay out of my grasp, bewildering me.

 

What wasn’t I getting?

 

“Isn’t fire something mages usually get first?” Iron Bull commented idly.

 

And making a point, trying to assert dominance.

 

“Yeah, uh, I can take that eye back if you’re going to make such observations.”

 

“Know what I observed?” He asked.

 

I feel my back wanted to rise up in defence at that tone and peered at him from the corner of my eyes, small smile on my face that was simply plastered there. “Something that bothered you and that’s why you’re bringing it up?”

 

“What you did to that vint ain’t natural.”

 

“Actually, compared to manipulating fire, what I did was far more natural as it’s already what the body does.”

 

“What the hell did you do?” Varric asked, probably louder than he meant to and he realised that when I simply looked at him and then away. “What’s apoptosis?” He questioned, calmer.

 

I look to him once more, fire casting odd shadows on our faces. “It’s actually a process of the body. We all do it. Regulatory thing. It’s already constantly happening in the body. _I_ simply sped it up. The results are what you see, what would happen in two separate diseases in one body,” I say succinctly and then decide to reign back on the magic thing. It got too much attention. But it’s not like they knew the animal thing. Just the music and barriers and healing. It’s about time I began to learn something else to have as another ace in the hole, but what? I flopped back, uncaring of the sand in my hair or clothes for now. I was good at biological processes.

 

“And what gives with the mark being orange now?”

 

“My magic is orange, I took it over.”

 

But what to do?

 

“Wait, wait, wait, you took over the thing that caused that?” Varric pointed at the Breach. “The big green thing?”

 

I wasn’t really listening. “Looks like it, huh?”

 

Biological processes.

 

Green thing.

 

“Maker’s breath, woman, what’s next? First the sky, then the body, what, shall I wonder if the ground will swallow me up?”

 

Ground.

 

The qunari snorted. “Longing to get back to your roots, dwarf? Anyway, Inquisitor can't do elements great.”

 

Roots.

 

_Can I make plants?_

 

I grin.

 

I’d understood how to make a core after practising on a willing Hawke.

 

New project!

 

A crow came, landing down next to me. It squawked once in greeting as I turn onto my side. I gently reached out to stroke its breast with a small mote of magic going in it to heal it from aches and pains of long distance travel before gently taking the small note from its leg. I rise up and take a bit of my meat from my bowl of soup and feed it to the avian first and then open the little message.

 

_The zoomer is done!_

_Miss you!_

_-Dagna_

 

My grin widens in delight and I scrunch it up and toss it in the fire, mightily pleased.

 

“I don’t know if I like that smile, experimenter.”

 

“Dagna just told me the zoomer is completed. Means I can further my healing.” I was stared at, I knew, making my beam widen as I simply stroke the bird and hum happily. “Honestly, giving free-range to people like me, terrible idea,” I say out loud, musing and then smile at Varric.

 

Varric stared like he didn’t know what to do with me and turned to the elf, the only one not to say anything. “Solas, you’ve been quiet.”

 

“Thoughts?” Iron Bull asked, still unsettled.

 

“I know of no one who has done such things. The lengths that you have been able to push healing is truly astounding.” The elf nodded deferentially at me, but there was something in his eyes I didn’t understand, intent while his face was carefully neutral. “Potentially terrifying as well, it must be said.”

 

Kind of the point, wasn’t it?

 

Thinking about it, simply blasting his head off would have been fine and cause less suspicion or wariness around me.

 

I knew better for next time then.

 

“Just potentially?” The writer remarked as I went back to the fire, putting the crow on my shoulder before I began to practise once more. “That’s _definitely_ what I consider terrifying. I call her experimenter for a reason.”

 

‘ _He knows I can hear him, right?_ ’ I think to myself then my mind drifts, going to fire once more. Was there such a thing as being more inclined to one magic over another? I frown, staring down at my hand as the crow caws lightly next to my ear. I think so. “Solas, can mages just not be good at one form of magic?”

 

“Yes, but that’s called laziness.”

 

My lips quirk up as I suck at my canine and give him a look that showed him what I thought of _that_ sentence.

 

Arse.

 

“Good to know even our Inquisitor has limits,” Iron Bull sounded amused, ever watching for reactions.

 

So I may as well live up to them, throwing him a scowl before working on the fire once more.

 

How was this possible?

 

I give up on it, knowing I’d been able to mess with ice way back when I woke up in Haven for the first time and try that instead. It came to me far easier, a jagged ball of ice in hand. It was hard on one side, but the other side seemed to crack and break and I hiss at the cold. I drop it as my hands go red, wiping the residue water over my hair that’s still in a tight bun. I’d have to cut it soon, the lengths going down past my ribs now and absolutely terrible in this heat, frizzed to hell and back.

 

“Stupid elements,” I mutter and begin to think on all I know about plants.

 

But that night, I create a group of ants and let them go to the land of Qunari, Seheron and Par Vollen and Llomerryn in whatever way they could, knowing I have a new project in mind to be worked on as well as the plants. Tomorrow I’ll send off some more animals that were native to those lands that I'd get out from Iron Bull on the way back.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

  

 

“Woofers!”

 

The dog was much bigger and chunkier than I saw nearly seven weeks back.

 

Damn, had it really been that long? Wow.

 

It took a couple weeks to get there usually, but with the healing of the mounts and our bodies, it’d taken about six days each way. The longest part was the seafaring from Jader to get there. To think, that’d be a nice half-day trip on a ship back in my world. Here it takes days. Of course, travelling by horse all day wasn’t fun. The first couple hours, fine, the next seven just got tedious. I hated travelling in this world. Surely I could try and invent something or get someone to?

 

Yeah, probably someone else, it didn’t appeal to me.

 

I giggled as the hound tried to sit on my lap while I was riding, trying to get up high enough and causing the horse to fuss. Rightly so. “Alright, stop, stop.” I get down, doing my best to ignore the fanfare of the Inquisitor coming back after so long that happened around me. Eventually I just grin and bear it, waving at the crowd that cheer back. All I wanted to do was sleep as we’d pushed most of the day, all of us wanting to get back to base. Woofers immediately goes on his back paws and I raise my brows at him now able to put massive paws on my shoulders. “Look how big you got, Woofers!” I chuckle as he pants in my face and push him down.

 

Josephine and Dagna come forth, hugging me next and I brighten up immediately. “Sisters of my soul!” We all laugh, happy to be with each other once more. “I missed you three so much!”

 

Sera jumped on us, making us yelp as she cackled. “Let’s get smashed!”

 

Well, I could try.

 

I turn and thank the lads for joining me and with a smile we parted ways.

 

Gladly so, too, I was done with the overprotective act from them all, hooking arms with the Arcanist and Ambassador.

 

Hours later I was guiding a tipsy Josephine to her quarters with an arm around her waist, Dagna and Sera having made off somewhere else to go be loved up and Woofers panting by our side happily.

 

Only for a different Antivan to make himself known.

 

I sigh at the sight of the assassin grinning at me lecherously, but ready my magic, just in case. I was ultra-protective suddenly, needing to make sure Josie stayed safe. Woofers suddenly stared at him without blinking, teeth baring slightly. “Bloody hell, what do you want?”

 

“Merely to see my favourite Inquisitor!”

 

“Come across many, do you?” I ask, annoyed, and the Advisor giggled into her hands, leaning on me heavily. I move away from him, still irritated by him, only for him to join us. I stop, put the drunk Josie on my other side by picking her up and turning around and turning us around so I was next to the blond. “Why are you here? Oh,” I held a hand out for him to take, and he did so, “Inquisitor Lani Loch-Li.”

 

He kissed the back of it, and I smile at some of my magic insert itself into him and settle it in his throat, hidden and waiting for any wrong move. He gives me a charming smile and doesn’t let go as he introduces himself, “Zevran Arainai. Formerly of the Crows and House Arainai. I come to offer my services.”

 

“Then perhaps you should speak to Leliana.”

 

“Oh, my old friend is here as well?”

 

I cocked my head, bewildered. “Why do I know your old friends?”

 

“He helped with that Fifth Blight like my darling Leli!” Josie giggled, nuzzling into my open neck and cuddling into me. I absently turn to kiss her cheek as I watch him thoughtfully. “But why here?”

 

“Surely such an institution has need for one such as me? You can keep me your little secret.”

 

I chuckle at that. “Leliana has trained scouts everywhere, that you have not been seen is ridiculous to think.” I look up, indeed seeing eyes on us. “Let’s go get her opinion of you.”

 

His roguish grin widened at the thought of her. “As you wish, beautiful Lani!”

 

We quietly go into the rotunda, and I was surprised to see Solas still up and looking through some parchment. His head rose at us coming in, face blank, and I felt a slip of relief. He could take Josephine. “Solas, do you mind escorting our Josephine to her quarters while I take our guest up to go see Leliana?”

 

“No need, I am here.” The redhead came down the stairs that led into the round room. “Well, well, it has been a while, Zevran. I have heard all sorts of tales of you. I wonder which are true and which you’d like to be true?”

 

“Ah, you’re liked or thought controllable, right, you can stay,” I say to the elf and then turn to the Spymaster and nod dismissively. “Leliana.”

 

She smiled back enigmatically. “Inquisitor.”

 

“C’mon you. Let’s get you snuggled up in bed,” I murmur to the now sleepy Antivan who mumbled something and smile softly as I turn us away.

 

Solas spoke up, “May I join you? I wish to talk.”

 

“I’ll come back here.” I remark over my shoulder as I leave, still protective over her.

 

It didn’t take long to find Josephine’s quarters, but it did to get her cleaned up of make-up and dressed into some sort of nightgown thing she wore with a ton of buttons when she was being super affectionate, proclaiming how much she missed me and having to disentangle her from me multiple times. I had a grin on my lips though and when she was in bed, I gently stroked her hair until she fell asleep from the motions with one hand on Woofers head, magic stimulating melatonin and near instantly knocking her out. I remain for a couple minutes, taking the chance to use her toilet and freshen myself up. I peer into the mirror – _same face but frowning_ – and leave with Woofers.

 

Solas is waiting for me in the empty Great Hall, a slight smile on his face when Woofers goes over to him, panting and butt waggling. He didn’t jump on him like he would with Dagna and Josie and stayed a little distance from him, but that he was like this was a good visual for my actual feelings for him. It was good to see it plainly.

 

“Lani.”

 

“Aye?” I ask coming over and fondly scratching Woofer’s ear and getting happy rumbles in return.

 

“Aye, hm?”

 

The pair of us look up when Sebastian and Varric appear above us where Vivienne usually watched over everything.

 

I grin at them, but when the Starkhaven Prince gives me a little smirk and making my thoughts get desirous. My magic purrs in me. “Can’t be helped. Though it sounds far better when you say it. Say, I need to catch up with each of my people here, when are you free for a drink?”

 

His eyes darken. “Whenever you’ll have me join you, of course.”

 

“Tomorrow?”

 

“Certainly. Goodnight, Lani.”

 

Varric saluted as he went with him, throwing an amused look Solas’s way.

 

I turn to him, seeing the glacially blank look on his face. “You wanted to speak? Let’s go to the Undercroft.” I go forth and pause when I hear no more steps following me. I find he’s not following me, his hands behind his back but arms clearly straining and fists definitely clenched for it. His eyes lock onto mine, intense. Startled, I frown. “What, you don’t want to go? Well, if you feel like talking that’s where I’ll be, dear ally.” I make my way again.

 

“Lani.”

 

“Yes?” I call over my shoulder but don’t stop, undoing my sash and also taking off my silver Inquisitor coat. I hear quickened steps as I work on my top to leave my under-top on, going through the door and downstairs, chucking my clothing on a spare bench and going over to Gereon’s work area. Woofers was ahead of me, sniffing at the workplace. I looked upon his work, having been craving to see it since we got here to base. Like his time warping necklace, he focused the magic in a crystal. I felt with my magic, feeling his own there as an alarm. It was translucently pink and rough and spiky, still looking like it was just plucked out of an ore and yet when I lifted it and put a strain of magic in, the rugged pink gem glowed and lit up, shooting a beam to the wall and creating a square. The square had nothing in it, so I looked at the gem once more and find the bottom of it could be unscrewed.

 

Did Gereon create a screw?

 

Was there such things here already?

 

“Lani?”

 

“Mhm?” I reply absently, looking inside and seeing all sorts of glyphs decorating the main chunk of gem while the screw part had a slot that I figure the sample could be put in. But what if I wanted to do something like an x-ray? I screw it back in gently and place it down, considering what could be done and wondering what research was done. Where were his papers? I look around the table, idly noting Solas’s lack of response as I go through some papers. “What is it?” I feel him come up behind me but don’t stop perusing the notes, frowning at all the glyphs I didn’t know.

 

“Lani.”

 

His breath is on the back of my neck, annoying me. I hide it and look back, expectant, impatient. He’s right there, mere centimetres from me. There’s a look on his face I can’t decipher, wanting but… something? I don’t understand. “Solas?”

 

“You don’t, do you?” He asked, frowning.

 

Bewildered and really wanting to get back to this gem, I raise an exasperated eyebrow. “Solas, either speak plainly or help me with this. Or do you need help?” I pull gently at the bone and then twirl it slowly around my fingers and pull down slowly, keeping a steady tension.

 

He shudders, eyes darkening as he was tugged to me. His hands were adamantly behind his back. Every line of him was taut as his eyes dropped to my lips.

 

I slowly cock my head to the side and his eyes went to the unmarked line of my neck, his lips parting.

 

Ah.

 

Well.

 

I slowly grin lecherously and go around him, keeping the pressure only slight and he stayed as is with me facing his back, necklace gently pulling him backwards. Enough so that I could put my cheek to his, nose to his neck and taking in his unique masculine scent. My lips trailed down his neck, shivering and exhaling shakily as pure desire flooded me. My hand went up and cupped his sturdy side, easily ducking under clothing to touch the outline of his six pack and then let my nails dig in lightly and trace down around the muscles and smirk at it making his body quiver. An erogenous zone like mine? Nice. His magic rumbled happily, feeling like it was purring so heavily it rumbled through the Undercroft, and it really did echo around the place.

 

I jerked back at that, putting hands to my chest.

 

Did he seriously just do that?!

 

Did _I_ seriously just do that?!

 

“I’m sorry-” I put my hands up.

 

Solas turned to me in an instant. “Did I look or sound like I did not want it, Lani? Did I say anything to want you stop?”

 

He really needed to stop saying my name so wonderfully erotic-like.

 

Did things to a woman, that did.

 

My own magic purrs quietly. “No.”

 

His eyes darken as he gets closer to me. “I can smell your want. It is succulent.”

 

I slowly blink at that, trying to get my mind back on track as want pulses through me. “Like a qunari now, are we?”

 

There was a displeasure in his body and eyes at that. “Iron Bull has smelt your want?”

 

“Pheromones are apparently something those that are qunari-kind can detect. Makes me wonder what elves can detect that humans cannot.” I step around him. “But I don’t know what you want, and we have different aims in life.”

 

“They can combine.”

 

I laugh at that, looking down and shaking my head. “Ohhh, Solas, Solas, Solas.” I look away from him, lips pursing.

 

“You are unsure of me,” He understood.

 

“Always.”

 

When haven't I been?

 

A little frowned littered his brow. “I would not want that.”

 

“Can’t always get what we want,” I say and then sigh, looking up at him under lidded eyes. “I either go for a fun night or the long term. And to my man, I am giving. Very giving, because I demand it in return. You? You are not a safe bet on gambling my affections,” I state wryly. “Be nice if you were but,” I shrug at him.

 

“And if I were?”

 

I stare at him, disbelieving. “Uh, what? If you were? Is that rhetorical?”

 

He chuckled, putting a hand to my cheek. “Ma tel’eolas lath ar himana’the maor, ma sa sha ladarelan.”

 

I boggle at him, thrown by such advanced Elvhen. “Uhm… You don’t… uhm… You, uh, don’t know… know the… Can you repeat that?!” I ask, stressed, making him laugh, golden and wonderful and so damn perfect. I gawped at that before huffily tugging at his bone amulet. “Solas! Sal… uh Sal’lavin, sathen!” _Jawline, please!_ And it only makes him laugh harder, delighted in the face of my annoyance with him, and I’m grimacing but also fighting a big grin when he pulls me close, hugging me around the lower back so our hips were connected and putting forehead to mine, eyes closed in joy. But I understood body language. That specifically, I believe he said something along the lines of attraction for me if his physical actions were anything to go by.

 

After all, his thumbs were tracing back and forth over my sides.

 

I look at him, puzzled but reciprocate as if I didn’t understand anything more than that by holding onto his biceps, grinning as if I were inexperienced and looking from eye to eye.

 

It’s what he expects of me as I cannot give an answer now.

 

“Uh… clueless here, dear ally mine.”

 

“I know.” His eyes twinkle at me. “Just know I am protective of you.” He chuckles and put hands to my cheeks, gentle and caring, kissing the tip of my nose.

 

That does make me go red from the cuteness of it.

 

I look away, flustered.

 

“I-I don’t know… What?!” I blurt out, completely bewildered. “What do I react with?”

 

He laughed at that, charmed and about to answer.

 

I then heard the door begin to open and was pushed back from his hold, magic fluctuating protectively from him and then I sigh when I see Gereon come in swiftly from behind his protective body. “Alexius.” My voice was a little squeaky, so I cleared my throat and began again, “You felt your project be touched, yes?”

 

He looks at us with raised brows. “Indeed so. Perhaps I can show you how?”

 

I perk up, ecstatic at the thought. “Yes! Come, come!” I wave him down, a burst of energy flushing through me as I bounce on my soles. He came down, but not quick enough, so I go over and drag him by the hand back to the gem impatiently. With a chuckle, he shows me what he’d done, answering multiple questions from both Solas and I. We grill him and he seems both exasperated, shattered, but completely gratified by the time we were content with his answers, looking at each other with nods of satisfaction. He demonstrated how to use it, putting it to his chest and from seeing his lungs, then deeper to see a singular lung, then the lobes, then the bronchus and then the alveolus and then deeper to the skin and deeper still to individual cells.

 

Sheer fucking _glee_ coursed through me.

 

I put my fist to my mouth, tears budding at the corners of my eyes, a massive and relieved grin on my face as the tears fell and I stepped back.

 

“This is it,” I breathe out at the piece of my own world becoming real here. “ _Awesome_.”

 

“Inquisitor?”

 

I sniffed and then put my hands to my eyes, base of the palms digging into my light detectors before I run them down and put the tips of my praying positioned hands to my mouth, positively beaming at the man. “Do you understand what you’ve accomplished for me?”

 

“What you asked?” He asked blandly and I laughed jumping up and down and then going to him, grasping him strongly by the elbows and kiss him right on the lips. He spluttered as I parted form him with a loud smack of my lips, “Inquisitor!?” He sounded appalled and befuddled all at once.

 

“You don’t get it!” I laughed again, elated and shaking him by the arms, looking from one of his eyes to the next. “Okay! Okayokayokay! Tell me! Can your gem take red lyrium?”

 

“Yes.” Alexius watched as I instantly went to the protective chest containing the experimental blood coloured gem and pulling on the specified gloves. “It was used as the base of protection the crystal should hold, so yes, it can.” I open the chest and take part of it, just a large splinter the size of a grain of rice. He is already unscrewing it and holding out the end for me and I place it in gently. I take off the gloves as he fiddles with the gem as Solas quietly watches in quiet intrigue and Gereon says to me, “Just a… there.”

 

There it is on screen above the table.

 

The Blight as a bacteria. It’s rod shaped, gram-positive in purple-red, and very aggressive. We watch it eat through the magic of the lyrium on the screen.

 

I nod the whole time, getting attention from the men on either side of me.

 

“This is known to you?” Solas questioned quickly, swiftly followed by the Tevinter.

 

“You understand this?” Gereon asks, astonished and trying to hold it behind a bored mask.

 

“Oh yes!” I say to both and point at a dark rod-shaped bacteria throbbing and travelling around quite quickly, chasing and inhaling other organisms. “You see the Blight trying to eat the magic of the lyrium. Those lighter parts must be the newer versions of it. The most purple is the older and more experienced Blight bacteria. See how the lighter sticks to the darker? Ah! See how that one there just parted, dark enough to begin its own little bubble? Jesus Christ, look how _fast_ it works. The Blight is incredible.” I watch in awe. “Such quick proliferation. It’s unheard of…” I shake my head, amazed. “No wonder the Templars succumbed to it so fast to become their red counterparts, not only addicted but also with a fast acting disease… How the hell did your son survive so long? Incredible.”

 

Gereon choked. “This _is_ the Blight?!”

 

“Surely you knew that Corypheus used the Blight? I’m guessing if you were useful enough, he’d have held your son hostage against you. And as he controls the Blight, he’d likely just kill him off. Good you failed. Now you have me, able to heal him of Blight.”

 

“Y-You can-” He choked, looking at me in hopeful disbelief and I nodded once.

 

“Gereon, the whole reason I wanted you to do this was so I could study miniscule biological processes such as this. Such as the Blight, so I can heal it.” Or use it somehow, like I did with the apoptosis on Livius, but that was very uncontrolled, witnessed by it going in two directions.

 

“I-I-” He choked again, putting hand to the lower part of his face. “How? How can you?”

 

“Watch.” I grasp the gem and put my magic over it, observing as suddenly the screen had block orange energy go into it, dissolving the bacteria slowly. However… I smile and focus the magic as macrophages. Now I knew what to aim for, the dark red cones were enveloped and destroyed in an instant and the whole lot, when I removed my magic after all bacteria were killed off, was now blue once more. I’d simply used my magic as a neutrophil and bam, job done. The body had all it needed, I was simply a major catalyst. But boy oh boy did it feel good to see it happening. I take the gem from him and open it. The once red gem was blue and clearer than I’d ever seen lyrium.

 

Gereon takes it out reverently, holding it up so we could all see, inspecting it closely. After a good minute, he looks up. “Nothing.”

 

I grin widely, enthused and utterly gleeful. “Exactly! Do you understand now why I’m so excited?! The Wardens are used to kill archdemons, but without the Blight as an infection-”

 

He finished off in wonder, breathless, “No more Blights, ever. No need for Grey Wardens! And my son-!” He grasped my shoulders, not daring to say the words.

 

I beamed at him. “I can heal him!”

 

Gereon sobbed and fell to his knees before me, holding onto my waist. “My Lady! Your Worship! I am so sorry! Forgive me! Please!” He beseeched me, grasping onto my breeches desperately. “I am not worthy, but my son, please! He has done nothing but try to sway me from Corypheus and deserves better than me and what I have given him!”

 

I stare, eyes widened. Then I sigh with a warm smile of complete understanding and put my hands on his shoulders. “Why else would I have you alive and working on this when you proved able with time-travel tools? Go get him, Gereon Alexius. Let’s cure your son, hm?”

 

A sob and he was rushing out, crying silently.

 

There was a silence.

 

“Lani?”

 

“Hm?” I ask without words, looking at the door as the elf comes up to my side.

 

“You are a wonder.”

 

I peer at Solas with a smile. “There’s a thing the people of my country are proud of, our healthcare system. The people pay taxes to keep it free, to keep hospitals and specialists and clinics free to all who need it. Free services, free condoms, free A and E. There are problems of course but… If I can, I’d love to set up something like that here. Surely there are people out there that would agree with me?” I ask myself.

 

“Is that your aim?”

 

“One of them. Blight first, dwarves being able to use magic next, then the whole bloody world will be able to use magic, somehow and the healthcare thing comes in somewhere amidst them. That’s what I’ll do when this Inquisition business is done.”

 

“The world?” The mage asked swiftly.

 

“Oh yes. That’s my aim here, most of all I decided. Because I love magic dearly. I’ve never felt such… fulfilment, before.” I sigh lovingly putting hands behind my back and rolling back and forth on my feet. “I love it so much I want everyone to have it. The dwarves can help me with how it happens to them and being able to make others be able to do so. Do you disagree with what I’m doing, Solas?”

 

“Not at all. I am opening the Veil just so everyone can. Perhaps if more can use it, there is a chance…”

 

I cock my head. “Chance for what?”

 

“Life,” He answered honestly, a little hoarse.

 

I have no idea what he means but smile at him regardless. “Good.”

 

When Gereon brings Felix, I work on him slowly for several hours, just to make sure I knew what I was doing. After the first ten minutes it was easy, but I was practising on Felix, trying different speeds and levels of power, how fast slow amounts of extra concentrated healing went against lesser concentrations of Blight that were faster in proliferation and then certain amounts against lesser amounts of Blight. All in all, I was able to heal him easily. I was just taking in how fast I could do it and testing anything that came to mind and writing it all down.

 

By the time it was sunrise, I was done, knackered and wanting to sleep and simply cured him completely within moments.

 

Gereon was beside himself with gratefulness.

 

“If you must tell others what has happened, I will do it for them as well.” I look at the gem, not magically caput in the slightest. “Anyway, if you want to stay, I’d be happy to keep you. Felix’s payment is to stay here as my mathematician. After all, I want the best of the best here, working towards making the Inquisition incredible. Spread that, would you?” I ask, looking up. “I want Thedas to be jealous of the great people here.”

 

Felix takes my hands in his. “Thank you, Your Worship. Anything you ask shall be done. I swear it.”

 

I grasp back, smiling. “I’m glad to be able to help you, and I’ll remember that.” I laugh playfully with a wink. “For now, perhaps begin to help me with some business? I’ve some ideas… But, they can be known after some sleep, and I daresay you’d like to spend some time with your dad?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah ants going across water is a thing. They make rafts of themselves. Can't recall which species of ant though.
> 
> Ma tel’eolas lath ar himana’the maor, ma sa sha ladarelan = You don't know the love I am drowning in for you, my one happy healer. I put it in here because I know someone will complain about no translation, when if I haven't put one in the fic should obviously means I don't want you, the reader, to know yet. Le sigh.


	19. Chapter 19

 

**Chapter Nineteen**

 

 

 

I come over and smile at the Prince when I saw him, a little ruffled from having just cleaned up from training and in simple breeches, tunic and furred cloak and with his second Rylen and running a brush through my fluffed hair. “Hey! Sorry about the delay.”

 

He stood up as I came close, not dressed in his normal armour, but a simple poets shirt, jacket and kilt with sporran. “Not a problem. You are a busy woman.”

 

“A man not afraid of the cold, I see? Brave choice,” I compliment with a nod and sat.

 

“The tavern is not that far, and while not as cold, Starkhaven has more than its fair share of the cold weather,” He smiled at me and sat after I did, leaning crossed arms on the table before a flagon of ale and electric bright eyes on me.

 

Wow.

 

That was one hell of an intent look. My lips twitched nervously, turned on and yet wanting to keep it cool. But; ‘ _He’s hot! Every time I talk to him this happens!_ ’ I internally wailed. “Do you have any winter sports created or, or, or native to Starkhaven?” I cursed my stuttering on the inside but keep my grin up as I brush my hair slowly, cursing inwardly that he can make me forget words.

 

“Aye, I’m a lover of many water sports we have-”

 

“Is this the yearly tournie I hear so much about?” The Iron Bull asked as he sat with us, sitting right up next to me, massive body keeping me warm from body heat. “The River Minanter Tournie?”

 

I blink at him and he smirks at me.

 

_Uh, excuse us? Go away._

 

A flash of annoyance hits Sebastian’s face as he rears back slightly. “Yes. We have boats races and bridge building races-” At seeing my bafflement at that, Sebastian smirks my way, “-It’s a lot more entertaining than it sounds, I assure you, Lani.”

 

I nod, grinning back. “What about an on water obstacle course? Tricky part is others trying to throw harmless things to throw you off the course before you get to the end,” I say in excitement at the thought, moving towards him, not noting Iron Bull look elsewhere and make some sort of signal.

 

“A novel idea!” Sebastian lit up at that, boyish glee on his face at the thought and leaned forward. “Tell me more of that canny mind of yours.”

 

An author suddenly sat down next to the Prince and a blond assassin ended up on my other side.

 

_What was this?!_

 

Seriously, how’s a girl supposed to get some around here?

 

I sigh silently and throw an apologetic look to the Scottish man that gives a rueful nod back and cards were suddenly out and we were playing some card game or other, more people coming over, with Sera and Dagna practically crawling into my lap and Dorian snickering at us from the other side of the table next to Sebastian. The elf and I hugged our favourite dwarf as we just played one hand with the three of us. The groups steadily got drunker and Sera tried picking a fight with me over Dagna.

 

“Why you gotta be hugging her like I do?”

 

“That’s how Dagna and I roll, baby. Have since before you came around.” I put my chin on Dagna’s head, smirking when the dwarf leaned into me at the infuriated elf that hiccupped at me as she scowled. I snorted at that. “Gonna have to get used to it; I’m part of the package. Chill, she’s my best friend.” I give a loud kiss to the dwarf’s cheek, making said Arcanist squeak and huddle into me happily and I beam back. I take the time to check the magic I’d left in her (like I had the others) and find myself absently healing her of the deeper drunkenness she’s gotten into with it, replacing what I took out with healing.

 

Dagna smiled up at me, affectionate and grateful and I tap my nose to hers in reply.

 

Sera grumbled something, tugging her away from me and drinking down more, grinning at me as she was hugged into.

 

I find my arms horribly empty and look down at my hands with a frown.

 

Oh.

 

“So Dagna’s your weakness, huh?” Iron Bull asked, eyes sharp and words baiting.

 

I give him a pleasant smile as I nonchalantly went back to the hand I was dealt. “Touch my Dagna and I’ll rip your horns off and go after the Chargers with them.” My grin goes wider though it doesn’t connect to my eyes. I wonder if I should let him know of the magic I left in him as a warning but recall my own thoughts of keeping on the down low and look away from him. “Dagna, next couple days, surgery.”

 

The woman called out cheerfully and I find myself knocked back with an armful of excited and babbling dwarf lady, and I was now floating long-ways on a barrier I popped into being.

 

“Oi!” Sera barked out and I laughed as she snatched Dagna from me and stomped away, making me snicker and sit up, only for a well-timed Solas to come over and take her place when she pushed his not so unwilling body into it. “You can have baldy!”

 

“Thanks?” I call back, a little baffled but not minding and looked at the elf and then slung an arm around his nearest shoulder. “Pssh, she’s a brat.” I remark to him with a playful scrunch of the nose and a grin and then let go, because his shoulders were way too nice to cling to. I choked down a purr but perhaps it was slightly too late, as the male hummed and I felt his magic thrum in reply. I ignored the raised eyebrow from Dorian, continuing to look at the Elvhen. “But hey, Sera sucked at teaching me this game, so help a woman out?” I ask my fellow mage with a smile, bumping my shoulder into his companionably, noting him wearing the wolf pelt _in_ Skyhold for once.

 

Huh.

 

Unusual.

 

He gave me an almost regal nod. “As you wish. I am ever on your side, dear ally.” A nod and a little smirk as he looked around the table and suddenly there was _tension_ in the air, the others acknowledging him as a threat. “Shall we begin?”

 

I watch as the tables turned swiftly, making me stare at the mage in wonder. How’d he do it? He simply smirked at me, eyes lidding my way, and I had a funny feeling he was using me to bait the others out. I only realise how close I’d ended up to Solas when he chuckled at something and I practically felt it vibrate from his chest, wolf fur brushing my cheek silkily and his scent dancing in my head while his magic gently pulsed my way with rumbles. My own magic had been low-key humming in reply without me knowing it.

 

_What the…?_

 

I blink and then lean on the table, grappling my instinctively reacting magic, drinking my mead and realising I had only small drops left, holding it up and frowning at it.

 

“I can always get you another drink, beautiful healer,” Zevran cooed in my ear.

 

I scoff and side-eye him. “Like I forgot the last time we shared a drink before the Western Approach, yeah?” I say in retort to him and he laughed loudly at that.

 

“Oh come now! It was not so bad! I was merely doing what I do! Can you blame a man?” He wrapped an arm around my shoulder companionably, tugging me to him.

 

I raise my brows as I lean on the firm chest, magic at the ready. “Yes. Shitty whiskey, remember?”

 

“Perhaps we can get a round for the group?” Sebastian asked casually, pushing an empty tankard to the side.

 

One that was not even half empty mere moments ago.

 

Ohhhh… Slick Scottish shit was good. “Alright.”

 

We get up, taking orders from the group, but with the elf assassin joining us with an arm around our shoulders. “Such a wonderful fortress! So very glad to call the Inquisition a base of mine!” The Antivan sighed in pleasure, content.

 

There was a quiet and awkward silence as both of us humans look at the elf.

 

I stare at him. “Yo… get the hint.”

 

“I know not what you mean! Come, let us try the Antivan red they do here. We shall see if it lives up to expectation!”

 

“If not then bitch to Josie about it,” I remark. “I want the best, too.”

 

Zevran laughed and went forth to the bar.

 

I quickly lean to the man, “Seb, what do you say to ditching everyone and finding a room for the night?”

 

His bright eyes widened before he chuckled. “I’ve taken vows to Andraste to have a chaste marriage.”

 

Pulling back, I give him an odd look. “A what?” I asked, bewildered.

 

“No joining of the bodies until after marriage, my lady. Then I shall spend my nights worshiping my wife.” His eyes promised things, darkening with him ending up closer to me, leaning his side on the bar and crowding me.

 

I shivered, feeling entirely turned on and raise my brows up at him, a sly grin lifting up the corners of my lips.

 

“Inquisitor, I wonder if I may have a word?”

 

I peer at an unflappable Orlesian of the court, but notice the clenching of her jaw. “Vivienne? Is everything alright?”

 

“A matter I wish to discuss outside of such a place, my dear. It is… personal.”

 

Having not been asked anything of me by her, I nod with a frown and push away from the table. “Of course.” I look at the blue eyed men and say, “Another time, gentlemen.” A nod at their goodbye’s and I follow Vivienne to wherever it was she wished to bring me.

 

“Lani?” I look over to Solas at that, noting him come up to me when understanding I was leaving. “Here.” He hands me the furred cloak in his hands. “Stay warm, dear ally.”

 

I smile at that and squeeze his hand while I took it. “Cheers, Sol’. Hey, a fact for you, a day on planet Venus is longer than a year on planet Venus. Tell me why next time, hm? I know an intelligent man like you will get it quickly.” I wink at him and leave him with a fascinated look on his face before he went contemplative.

 

I undo the cloak when we get out, only to find Solas’s wolf pelt, heated by his magic. I put it on around my shoulders first and find the magic able to keep the rest of me comfortably warm. I wouldn’t be going without shoes like Solas anytime soon, but I didn’t need my cloak. I put it over myself regardless, not wanting to carry it. She takes me to her rooms, offering me some of her favoured vintage. I chuckle and hold it up. “At least you like one type of vint.”

 

“I do hope you do not tell him, but he is the least eyesore of the inner circle of our Inquisition; apart from yourself of course, my dear.” Vivienne sipped on her wine, smiling at it.

 

True, but that’s because she’d taken over most of my clothing choices.

 

I look down ruefully at my comfy clothes that weren’t hers.

 

Never did I wear anything less than the most fashionable choices in Thedas, though I hadn’t thought about it much as it was barely ever on my mind. I’d demanded being able to move in it for hours of the day if it wasn’t my training clothing, because I was always going here there and everywhere for reports or magical training or talking to nobles or just having my time taken up in the Undercroft or library or War Room or… I was busy. Unfairly busy, I sometimes thought. At any rate, I made sure to find something I like about each outfit that had her eye clearly showing its style and compliment her on it when I saw her or if she asked when around Skyhold. She always wanted me in heels, too, so I co-operated to the point I would have booted heels and they’d have to be chunky. Though right now I had furred boots on, having just finished training.

 

And of course, white, silver and orange were the predominant colours.

 

I’d seemed to have them trademarked now. Hm.

 

Eh, no worries, I can deal.

 

The woman eyed the extra fluff around my neck. “And that fur isn’t half bad on you, darling. The only good thing dress wise about that elf mage is the quality of that fur. I shall have some wolf fur hunted down for you, but the purest of whites.”

 

I perk up at that. “Then I can get Solas to enchant it warm for me.” I pet the fur happily.

 

Knowing she didn’t like it, she did say diplomatically, “Your own magic is incredible enough, letting others do some of the work for you should be acceptable. You can heal even the Blight. Forgetting the issue I have with you doing so for free-”

 

“How can I ask the poor to pay after a Blight barely eleven years ago? Those that have survived until now deserve to be cured for sheer survivability.” I would not compromise on that.

 

Vivienne hummed at that, not seeming like she wanted to agree when she really did. “Then I do propose healing for a price to those that can.”

 

“Alright, you set a price for me you think is correct and go through the Blight infected people for me so I won’t get taken for a ride. Instead make them think we’re doing them a personal service and indebt them to us.”

 

Vivienne liked having that power. “I will do so.”

 

I grin at her and sip my drink, healing magic instantly going through it to check for poison but it was good wine only. I nod in an impressed fashion before looking at her. “Vivienne, how can I help you? Who needs healing? You were speaking of the Blight for a reason, yes?”

 

“You are quite on the ball.”

 

She was complementing for a reason. Though this woman always had a reason for what she did. “It’s magic and science. I don’t fuck around on either.” I state, amused by her somewhat disgruntled features at my profanity.

 

“My love, Bastien, is terribly ill. Anything I do for him doesn’t work. I am excellent at alchemy, and nothing has worked.”

 

“Where is he, back in Val Royeaux?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Hmm. Bring him here as soon as possible then. I know I will soon leave for either the Fallow Mire or to the Western Approach dependent on what the Warden and Hawke bring back. The closer he is on this side of the map, the better. I can always divert from the path we go on, but here is better and perhaps he’d like to see where you work and what we’ve built here. I don’t think next door is filled? I can have Josie keep it free until he arrives?”

 

Relief seemed to drip from her. “Lani… Thank you.”

                                                                                                                                             

I smile at her, more interested in his disease than his wellbeing. “You’re welcome. Now. Tell me all you know of his illness and what you have done alchemy-wise. I will research more around what I’m already doing.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

 

“So you can see. I can’t even hold magic.” Dagna held up her hand where my magic light ball with personality couldn’t stick. Attacking magic was different I’d found out. I make it disappear and focus on the job at hand as I stand by her lying form.

 

Dagna was utterly gleeful when I put the crystal to her head, watching the screen with absorbed eyes. She was on her side and cuddled in a blanket, because I was going to take my time and wasn’t sure how long this would be and it _was_ a wee bit chilly down here. Gereon had fallen over himself for me to update the crystal so it would simply focus on something I wanted, such as the inside of Dagna’s ear. He requested to be there, and so he was, along with his son Felix, Dorian, Solas, Vivienne, Josephine, Varric and Sera, along with some high paying merchants and nobles into this sort of thing. I didn’t let anymore in, not wanting to be distracted and knowing they wouldn’t speak – apart from Sera, who was there because this was her lover and had been told to can it.

 

“Dagna, I want you to speak as I do this. Inform our audience what each bit is as my magic goes there as I wish to concentrate.” I clap her shoulder and then set to work, putting my magic in.

 

“Sure thing!” She replied chirpily and informed the crew around the Undercroft. The projection showed my magic, bright and tangerine coloured slowly make its way to her ear and focus around the bones. “So dwarves have four bones in their ears and humans and elves three, possibly Qunari too, we’ll have to get The Iron Bull on that one. As you can see, one-two-three-four. The bones function is to amplify the sound that came via the ear drum from the ear canal.”

 

I didn’t correct it was sound waves and not just sound so we didn’t get questions mid-way.

 

“What Inquisitor Lani believes is that the extra bone helps shield the dwarf against magic due to the way magic works via soundwaves. There’s lots on hearing magic in books as you’ve all likely read. This connects to it. Some people hear magic and it reacts to your body, thus they can use magic. This extra bone removed should help me connect to magic. Regardless of whether or not I can use magic after this, we’ve a step two for that. For this step one, Inquisitor will compare the bone structure- ah see?” I’d gone deeper into the bone, looking to see the difference in comparison to other parts of her body. No difference. Good. “It’s the same, right?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Take it out!”

 

“You’re so impatient, Dagna darling.”

 

“Do it!”

 

I lowly sigh and swarm my magic there, disintegrating it slowly, watching the screen carefully. I pause to see if anything would change but the body had yet to react. I do the same for the other ear. I intently watch her vitals as I run the crystal down to her sternum, taking my magic out from her head and then flowing it down her body to the exact same place where my own body had a core. I mimic the one in me on a much smaller scale so she can actually _use_ it like any mage could and during this she talked swiftly, excitedly, for the next twenty minutes as I very carefully construct it, taking every damn care in the worlds. It settles easily and I place in some more magic into her ears and stimulate the body to start making the hormones that will keep the core running.

 

She sucked in a slow awed inhale as she suddenly stopped talking.

 

“Dagna?” I ask sharply.

 

“I feel it. Can I try? Please, let me try!”

 

“Go on.”

 

She sat up in an instant, crystal now in her hand and putting it between her legs. “Are you sure?!”

 

I recheck her whole body several times, but it’s working like my own or any other mages body. There’s no reason to stop her trying but my own worry. I take my own magic out carefully and step back. “Alright, there’s nothing of my magic in you now. The core is fully functioning and stable.”

 

There was silence in the Undercroft, everyone’s breath was held.

 

Dagna shakily lifted her hand up and concentrated.

 

I grin when a flicker of flame appeared in her hand, shaky but then strong and obvious and pretty, and pure pride and pleasure flowed through me.

 

Varric’s inkpot dropped and smashed, knowing I couldn’t use it.

 

_Success._

 

 

* * *

  

* * *

 

 

Josie was all a’fluster with me, joyful and exhausted. “You’ve begun a mass movement for the Inquisition! So many have written to us in the last ten days, pledging support in return for some healing or another! There are reports of people flocking to us. Magisters unrelated to Venatori are coming to see if it’s real, as are Seers from Rivain and Mortalitasi from Nevarra. The University of Orlais has sent out a group to confirm if it is possible and will be arriving within the next two weeks!”

 

I grimace at the thought of them. “Tch. Those bastards. Let them wait. I don’t care about the consequences on that one.”

 

“I recall they laughed you out and how infuriated you were.” Josephine’s quill would be sharp on that one. “Let us see how well they will be treated here when they offend a Montilyet.”

 

Softness hits my face as I smile at her and touch her hand, sending healing into her. “You’re the best, Josie.”

 

They were shown in when they arrived during the week, the University representatives, but not with any fan fair. Josephine was polite, but her words were littered with sharp biting words that had them right in their place. I highly enjoyed watching her work from afar on Vivienne’s balcony, looking down into the courtyard and Great Hall, or passing them and not making much acknowledgement to them when I had some nobles to heal Vivienne sent me after.

 

Eventually I would have to deal with them, but for now preparations to Fallow Mire took up my time.

 

Vivienne had seemingly become a helper to me, creating clothing that would impress and still be practical. A silver coat cut like hers now had a brilliant white wolf pelt hood that had lapels going down to my orange sash and instead of her skirt flap thing I had practical tight breeches on and my comfy boots with fur on the inside. She’d also been working on a staff for me that wouldn’t be overpowered so easily, but that always seemed impossible and frankly by this time I was simply putting one of my lightning bug in the orb to fake it being used and simply using my hands. I’d try it, sure, but I wasn’t sold it’d work. Josephine had already spent a small fortune of the Inquisition’s coffers to buying high quality staffs which I gave a small try to but shook my head at each one, too powerful for them.

 

The mages were happy with me for that at least.

 

“Sera, you’re with me for this one.” I call out to her from across the bar and she waves at me, grabbing her tankard and going up to her little area to prepare. “Cole.” The lad suddenly appeared next to me. “As are you. I think you’d like the Avvar. I heard they like spirits.”

 

“I think I would like to meet them. Do they like hats?”

 

“Probably, I imagine it would get cold there. I know they like furs.”

 

Cole touched the fur on my lapel with his fingertips. “I like this fur. Solas likes you in wolf, too.”

 

“He does like his canis lupus,” I muse, thinking of his jawbone. Which then flickered to the time of him below me in my bed.

 

“He thinks of that a lot too. Too much, he tells himself. But he likes it a lot.”

 

I raise my brows, certainly attracted but not exactly crushing on him. “I do hope you don’t tell him of my thoughts.”

 

Cole cocked his head, pale eyes staring me dead on. “No. You said not to. Solas didn’t.”

 

“Huh. Well, I’m sure we’ll have more such conversations along the way. Go get Cassandra to get prepared for our journey, would you? I think she’d like the Avvar more than Blackwall. Speaking off, I’ll go to the stables to get the horses prepped for us.”

 

“I will do it!” He said, and smiled at my mental thanks as he left.

 

I focus on my magic and Woofers as I walk to the stables and the Mabari is soon upon me, happy and chunky and coming up just under my ribcage. “Time for you to be a proper war hound!” He barked happily, loud and bold. I grin at Blackwall and wave as I pass him, still not bothered with this one being not a Warden and talk to Dennet. He agrees to set up hardier horses for us, giving me tips (read: demands) of how to take care of them. I always enjoy learning about animals, so I do actually listen carefully instead of sighing because I’d had such lectures before from him. I dig for more information on their biology for the next ten minutes, nodding. It’s then I ask to go see the Mabari pups I had come in and we do, with my magic now coursing through them that the horse master got imported upon my request, only to get interrupted.

 

“My lady?”

 

I turn to Blackwall, who is looking a little contrite. As ever, really. “What’s up?”

 

“I wonder if I may come along?”

 

“If you don’t mind Sera, Cole, and Cassandra, sure.”

 

“You do not travel with mage Solas?”

 

I clearly needed to travel with him less. “Nor Varric, I might add. Change of pace. I’ve never actually brought out Sera and Cole, and this is more of an ‘establish relations’ type of mission. I’ve been told they’re an honourable but blunt type of people, so Sera with her bow and being surprisingly excellent as a hunter will have them happy. We can get her hunting as a delegation of sorts. Cole is who he is, and they’ll be all over him. Cassandra is also honourable and forthright and will not stand for silliness and I’m hoping they’ll see her as the strong forces leader she is. Perhaps they’ll also know what a Seeker is and respect that as a warrior of faith. Hmm…” I squint at him. “Now how will I have you approach them as…? You teach well, good with animals and craftwork.” I look at one of the many rocking griffons he’d been working on. “And with children.”

 

He goes a little red behind his beard but doesn’t deny it. “Will that do?”

 

I nod, liking the idea more that I think about it. “Yes. Take some of the craftwork with you and work it when we go visit them. Go ask Josie if she’d like to join us. I’d like to have a bit of a stronger diplomatic in the team.”

 

“Oh, u-uh, Lady Josephine? I, uh-”

 

I narrow my eyes at that. “That sounds like a no, Blackwall. Do you have a problem with my sister?”

 

“No!” He said that a bit too loudly and I put a hand to my waist, waiting. “I will!”

 

“We leave tomorrow. If she’s coming I want her prepped as soon as possible.”

 

Cole reappeared by me. “He has affection for your Josie.”

 

A swell of possessiveness caught me. “Is that so?” I eye him, the man looking mortified but it made me feel better.

 

“Yes. Cassandra is coming. She is happy to be out of Skyhold for some weeks. She didn’t scowl at me this time.” Cole smiled at me and I smiled back, pleased by this. “I made you happy! Not many people make you happy, I am glad to be one of them!”

 

I chuckle and nod fondly. “Go get yourself ready, Cole.” He went in blip of magic and I looked at Blackwall, amused. “Uh-huh.”

 

He went a deeper red and I laughed, leaving.

 

“M-My lady-”

 

“Don’t worry, I can keep a secret!”

 

In my room, I waited for a bit and finally Nina came in with reports on the spies here, all taken from Leliana, Iron Bull and Solas. I look through them all, amused as I hug Nina to me. Not a one was truly secretive, damn. “I have a gift for you. Close your eyes a moment.” With a grin I removed myself from her and go to the storage area. A well of concentration and a squirming Mabari pup came to life in my arms. She was very lively and wasn’t prone to barking, but she’d be a very loyal and protective companion for Nina alone. Though, as always, my hand-made creatures would obey me. I come back out, smiling at the sandy coloured creature with a stripe of black down its back and a cute pink nose. “Hold your hands out?”

 

She does so and I plop the wriggling mass there. Her eyes snap open. “By the Creators!”

 

“Do you like her?”

 

“I love her!” The servant’s eyes watered.

 

“You’ve done a lot for me. I wanted to gift you something. I got some pups imported here so… yeah. Grabbed the strongest one for you. Someone gives you hassle over her, go see Josie. I’ve already told her about this anyway.”

 

“I will.”

 

“She’ll want to stay by your side at all times.”

 

“Even better!”

 

Plus, the dog had my magic in her and would tell me where she and Nina were in the fortress.

 

I’d originally given Alexius two tasks. The microscopic task was the major task, but the smaller task was to allow a person to know where another was. He’d already said there was one for children to be placed on their clothing for their safety and slaves with their slavery cuffs to make sure they didn’t run far in the Tevinter Imperium, as well as a form of one in the Templars tracking magic with their blood, so he’d simply modified it, using the microscope projection he’d made so I could simply see them in my mind. Of course, it couldn’t be attached to a person, Alexius waved, ignoring the phylactery one as it was blood magic, but it could be attached to a magical object very easily.

 

Such as a Mabari created from magic.

 

After all, I only trusted Dagna and Josie.

 

Nina was unfortunately disposable, considering she was playing both sides.

 

I already knew she’d given information on me to each of them, supposedly important stuff I’d let loose to see if it came out and it had, mainly one of Solas’s.

 

She would be gone when her use was up.

 

* * *

 

* * *

   

I had a frowning Solas before me. “I’ve got my ground team sorted, Solas.”

 

“You are Inquisitor, however-”

 

I cut him off with an offended, “However, anything after _that_ means you don’t think I can do a simple diplomatic mission without you.”

 

There was frustration in his posture I understood from months of knowing him, around him for hours on end. “I only wish to aid you.”

 

I sigh and lean back on my chair in the library, knowing I should be in bed right now with how late it was and how early I would be up. I know I got crabby without enough sleep. “You can do so here. I know how much research you have going on with the old artefacts and the shards. Surely some time to get that all sorted will be good for you?” I stroke at the little cat by my side, having found that this kitten was one of my magically created cats’ progeny as it instantly did as bid. I look down at the little ginger tom with a white bib. I grin a little. “Here.” I plucked that cat up and stood up, going around and passing him over. “Have a cat for when I’m gone.”

 

He snorted. “A wolf cub would be better to win me over, ma’vanasha.” The mage stroked the cat gently and it purred at him.

 

“Ma’vanasha?” I squint at that and he smirks. “Sometimes I think you just makes words up to fuck with me,” I grumble and go back to my table.

 

“You say such a thing and it springs to mind the times I woke up with you nuzzled into me in the tents.” His words were a tease but there was something serious there.

 

I adamantly ignore it. “Can’t be helped. I’ll likely end up smooshed next to Sera because of my like of warmth when I sleep.” I scrunch my nose up. “Cole might be a better choice, though if he doesn’t sleep…” That was another thing to try to work on. Extending the magic depleting in Cole to keep him spirit until he chose to be human or not. Was it even right to ask him to keep watch all night? Surely it was most practical? But was it fair?

 

I feel the pulse of magic signifying his arrival.

 

“I can stay guard. Do not worry. I do not mind if it is fair or not.” The hatted male appeared next to us.

 

A sigh leaves me at that, “Cole, fairness is completely the way it should-”

 

“I will be happy to help!” The blond states insistently. “I will watch. I like to watch.”

 

“Why does that make me feel like that goes a million different ways?” I run a hand over my tied up hair, rubbing at a point and looking down at my work, not wanting to fight this point.

 

“I can help!”

 

“Sure.” I hold a page up, a little distracted by the words on the page as I rub. Hands went to my head, tugging clumsily at the band and then the locks fell down, untwirling to around my hips. “Uh.” I pluck up a lock that now had ink all over it with a rueful smile. “Of course you meant-” I was cut off by my own light groan as Cole rubbed the area. That felt damn good. It’d been so long since I’d had this kind of attention. My eyelids drifted down, hand lowering the parchment.

 

“Cole. Do not simply do such things without permission.”

 

Hand immediately dropped from my hair and I frowned. “Oh! I am sorry! I like your hair. It is Elvhen.”

 

Alarm bells sprang in my mind.

 

“Uh, what?”

 

“Elvhen?” The sharp word came from Solas.

 

Cole looked at me and I inwardly stilled.

 

His pale eyes burrowed into me.

 

“Yes.”

 

“You mean when I connected my magic to the CNS and ANS to promote- It actually- The-”

 

“Yes.”

 

I stood up shakily, hurriedly scrambling things together. “N-Not possible.”

 

“Your healing did it.”

 

“Lani?” There was an urgency to Solas’s tone and I looked up, frazzled and looking a panicked mess as I scooped things to me. “Am I to believe you are as I am?”

 

“Yes.” I swallow as his eyes lit up. “It wasn’t supposed to be like that. I was just trying to promote no ageing in the body by renewal of cells-” I was cut off by the man grabbing my upper arms firmly, stopping me from blabbering and I was thankful for the return to concentration on the moment. “It wouldn’t be just be me though. Theoretically, I could do the same to everyone. I… I really could.” I stare at his chest, lost in thought, putting the side of my finger to my mouth. A chuckle had me looking up, still lost in my head. “Hm?”

 

“You are often so floating with the wisps.”

 

I muse at that, a little smile on my face. “Head up in the clouds.” I pull myself back together, knowing I’d let loose my emotions in my room. “Anyway, chill, you’ll see me in a couple weeks, max.” I pat him awkwardly on the shoulder and leave the two, mentally telling Cole not to say anything.

 

Solas sighed and looked to Cole.

 

“She didn’t know. Will you tell her soon?”

 

“Eventually, it will come out, whether I like it or not. Stay safe, friend. And look after her.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't think of a decent Title for the chapter.


	20. The Marks We Bare From This World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, ah, yes. Evanuris territory will be coming in soon. Let's play with them! What archetype is Lani?

 

**Chapter Twenty**

 

 

 

Bastien was of good humour, even as he coughed and wheezed most horribly.

 

I put a hand to his throat idly, breaking down the old scar tissue that aggravated most insistently and healed that up. I then flush magic through his windpipe, getting rid of the excess mucus that lined it, de-swelling the inflamed oesophagus and nose for him. He clearly felt better in an instant, relief and wonder on his face.

 

“It usually takes several attempts to get that effect.”

 

“I’m the best healer in the world, currently,” I say without inflection or arrogance, just pure blunt fact, a new microscope crystal in my hand as I focused. This one was an upgrade, able to go deeper, and look at singular or multiple systems in the body at a tap of a finger and seen in the mind instead of a screen. Gereon was trying to make as distinguished an item for me as possible, trying to rebuild a shattered reputation both amongst the southerners and his fellow Tevinter’s, the few of them that were in the fortress and pledging their assistance to this cause. I don’t think they bought the whole Herald thing, making me wish to go there instead, but they saw a mage with the singular talent to close up the Breach that threatened many and followed that.

 

I concentrate on the task at hand, wondering at the Blight in him, but there was something slightly different. “Cough up blood, chest pains, fever, weight loss… hm.” I think upon the picture of the bacterium in my head, feeling like I’d seen it before. Then I go out, noting the ulcers of lymph nodes. “Well, you’re Blight infected, and it’s playing havoc with the other disease in you, each catalysing the effects of the others. Man, you’re lucky I just invented the cure for Blight infection.”

 

Whispers broke out in the group we were in and while I inwardly preened, I held it back and did the process of clearing it up, but played with the other disease with the Blight just to see the reactions. Unbelievable. The Blight seemed to make everything else worse. Aging, infertility, speed of pathogenesis; insane.

 

This disease needed to go.

 

Part of wanting to be a scientist was to cure diseases, to do what I could to help.

 

“What are you thinking?”

 

I look at Vivienne, seeing the tenseness in her visage. “Oh I can heal him, I’m simply experimenting with the other disease now. All the Blight has gone but for the patch I’m holding onto with my magic.” I turn to the Duke, patting his chest. “Don’t worry, Dukey! You’ll be cured, I’m simply experimenting with the other disease, you understand? Consider it part of the payment. By the hours end you’ll be healed, but for now, I’m mentally documenting all I could about this other disease so we can understand it, it's effects, possible causes and symptoms and why Vivienne’s alchemy didn’t work. In fact, Vivienne, if you could write down what I’m saying, I’d be much obliged. Let’s not have your research go to waste, hm?”

 

Clearly a little piqued at not having her love instantly healed, she calmed and sighed through her nose silently as the Duke laughed and nodded. “As you wish, Inquisitor.”

 

“Thanks, lovely.” I wait until she has the required tools. “Now. _The pathogenesis of…_ ”

 

Within two hours I’m done, Duke Bastien goes off with Vivienne to the fortress intending on spreading the word of his cure as he went. He asked about payment, and I told him that hey, the Inquisition wasn’t going to be around forever, so ‘ _if he could set aside some money so I could be a healer with my own little clinic, that’d be great. Oh and send all this world knows about plants to me will you? Cheers, Dukey!_ ’ then that’d be great. In the end he declared he’d set up something in Val Royeaux for me, and on that note, I left, pleased. I’d be sending off a note to Felix, telling him to get in contact with Bastien for me. He was my own personal financial advisor as well as helping out Josie quite often.

 

I’d heal this world and make free healthcare the norm for all, whether it liked it or not.

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

  

Amund really was something to behold.

 

A Watcher of the Skies or something.

 

Well, I’d certainly been watching something.

 

And he knew it too, because I’d woken up in bear furs, a heavy arm around my waist and firm nearly uncomfortable muscle encircling me after an excellent night.

 

Damn did I ache in all the right places!

 

The last few days had been full of diplomacy with several chiefs, having been given a list of things that an absent Josephine had allowed to be bartered and I did my best not to allow anything over that. Mainly it was talks of borders, of allowing people through such borders without harm and also of trade between the two forces. There’d been a lot of questions directed to Cole, who was seen as a surprisingly esteemed member, inducing the Avvar to believe more in the Inquisition, especially him being Compassion. As one of their teacher spirits being in a living body, they listened to him and followed his words about his Compassion.

 

He'd turned to me half way through and said, ‘ _You’re happy for me, because I am me. Th-Thank you!_ ’

 

Cassandra and Blackwall had become teachers in fighting and Sera was liked as an archer that gifted them much meat and used it as a feast for the three separate Avvar Holds that had come there for the talks, closest to the Inquisition borders. There was sly in-fighting between them all to get the best of deals. I probably wasn’t able to get the best on my side from lack of experience, so I hoped Josie would understand. I had a feeling she’d already been generous enough in what she allowed to be bargained over, which had me feeling sheepish. Myself, I went around healing who and what I could, and gawping at a giant war nug that seemed to have taken a liking to me, lipping at my hand when I went to give scratches after healing him. I also practised trying to gain control over him like my own creations and by his affection, I believed it worked?

 

Or war nugs were just supremely affectionate and totally didn’t justify the ‘war’ part to their name.

 

Cole, Sera and I cheered over the two heavy hitters joining in a friendly fighting competition and come up amongst the top with the best the Holds could offer. Even Sera joined in on the archery and won it, making her state her bragging rights over the over two as she’d won and the Seeker and Warden didn’t.

 

Cole had a flair for pottery, which surprised me, but in a good way.

 

‘ _I met a nice mage potter in his dreams one time. He taught me. It was his passion. I miss him._ ’

 

I was happy for him, hugging him and finding myself laughing a lot more when I wasn’t having to be Inquisitor. I really enjoyed life here sometimes.

 

The night was full of drinking, with an attempt at poisoning on one of the Avvar Hold Chieftain’s I caught when he showed me a new scar that wasn’t healing right and I’d flushed magic through him, catching first an infection and with a worried frown, I flushed it through the rest of him just to find poison in his gullet. He’d roared out ‘ _Betrayal!_ ’ and the fool that did it ran guiltily, and was then captured and killed.

 

Amund had thanked me quietly for saving his Chief and asked to share a jug of wine and I’d accepted.

 

Leading to my nights in his tent, ignoring the smirks and amused looks my way when I came out fresh as a daisy but Amund proudly wore bite marks and hickeys.

 

During it all, I worked on my healing and connecting the magic of a different person to their nervous system while pretending to be looking through some illness in the body that could be easily healed. I held in shaky breathes when I realise I could actually do it to others. Mixed with my ability to create magical cores and animals…  I honestly had to wonder at any limits.

 

But why should there be limits?

 

A quick flush through with healing and I was fine once more, stretching, only to feel a shift behind me and lips to my neck.

 

A wicked smirk hits my lips as a hand ventured south.

 

Oh, go on.

 

What was one more for the road?

 

* * *

 

* * *

  

I was on the back of the war nug they’d given me, affectionately dubbed Nuggsie, though first they’d ask to have him a breed a few females, which after a quick flare of my magic had the sperm magically created by me and impregnating them. All under my command. I was reading on the back of Nuggsie as we got close to Skyhold, written by an Augur respected amongst them all I’d gotten along with on their connection to the Spirits. It occurred to me I’d been forever blocking entering my dreams since the very first night and curiosity was plaguing me about it now. I’d have to go bug my specialist mage about further safety precautions.

 

But there was still a remnant of fear from entering that place in me.

 

“It will be okay.”

 

I turn to Cole with a little nervous smile before looking down at my book. “There’re just a lot of what if’s, my friend.”

 

“It’s true it could happen. You could meet more of them. They’d want to meet you.”

 

I actually trembled at that, swallowing but choking when my mouth and throat were dry for it. I was breathing heavily, eyes closing and feeling my magic rush in me. One of my hands didn’t seem to know what to do with itself, latching onto my thigh, then the reins, then the book dangling from my belt. What if there was retribution for what I’d done? What if she was weakest, what if she had allies that would gleefully tear me to ribbons?

 

Paranoia hit me.

 

What if they found me?!

 

I was a damn beacon in Skyhold as the Inquisitor!

 

Compassion suddenly hugged me. “What would you do if they did want to?”

 

Defence, lay traps, power up, gather resources, always have an exit, find safe houses, back up plans-

 

“Do that.”

 

I stare at him and nod.

 

Yes.

 

Yes, I would do so.

 

“Thanks, Cole.”

 

* * *

   

* * *

 

 

I grinned blandly at the fanfare of my return, waving diligently and getting off my mount, Master Dennet giving me a disbelieving look as if to say ‘ _what the hell am I supposed to do with this?!_ ’ as he took the beast away with Nuggsie mouthing at my shoulder in farewell. Woofers was ever by my side, having done well in defending me and killing off the enemy out for my blood and the honour of offing the Inquisitor.

 

I scratch at his ear and smile distractedly as he put his head into me, so much bigger now.

 

I need to speak to Solas very soon.

 

Josephine came up to me, slipping an arm into mine. “Sister dearest! We got all your missives, and might I say what an excellent job you’ve done? A lot based on trust, but much of that was also gained…” She pulled me away, going on about it and I nod or add in and was demanded of for more information on select points. Even things that seemed minutiae and of no real consequence was analysed as thoroughly as I did my bacteria.

 

It was exhausting.

 

Diplomacy and being nice to people’s feelings, ugh.

 

I internally snort at my own thoughts and rub my eyes, sitting alone in the war room before the map with Josie outside tending to mail. I feel one of the animals I made come closer, the kitten. And Solas, of course. Well, at least I wouldn’t have to go find him. I cross my arms and lean on the table, staring at the map as he comes in silently and I wait as he takes me in with a look on his face that is curious to me. There’s an almost sort of forlorn feel to it. I peer at him, leaning my chin on my arms and Woofers head on my knee. “Ally Solas.”

 

“Ally Lani.”

 

“I’m terrified,” I blurt out and the rub at my face with my hands with a haggard groan of annoyance at myself, slamming the table with my hands and getting up. I drag gloved hands through my hair as I began to pace. “The Fade. I’ve not once connected to it at night.” His eyes widened at that. “And, I know that it wasn’t you that got me here. It was someone else.”

 

“It wasn’t the mark?”

 

“No.”

 

He frowns at me and I was about to continue when his head snapped to the door.

 

I wait.

 

It wasn’t long until the door opened, with Leliana coming in, along with Cassandra, Josephine, and Cullen and a man I’d not met before. He was about six foot or just under, with dark brown eyes and light brown hair that had a reddish sheen to it and surprised me by being of Asian descent. Not a damn person around here had that colour of skin or type of eyelids.

 

I was stunned for a second.

 

He… was Chinese?

 

“Wo jiao Lani.” _My name is Lani._

 

He perked up. “Nǐ huì shuō zhōngwén ma?” _Do you speak Chinese?_

 

“Wo bu.” _I don’t,_ I lied in my purposefully bad Chinese, wondering if he’d slip up and admit something around me. But I stared at him, incredulous. The same way he was staring at me. “What’s your name? How did you get here?”

 

The man sighed out. “I’m Chang. I came through the Fade. I just made it through with that bastard coming after me.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Some guy called Falon’Din. He kept shouting it. I’ve got a skill from him though, mimicry.” Then there was something in his magic that waved. “And some sort of scrying. I could mimic your key mark, I bet.”

 

_How forward, honest, and strange of him. He knew it was a key? He could copy it? What if I said no, what would that look like? What if I said yes, what would that look like? What would people think either way?_

 

Questions buzzed about it my head.

 

Then a startling one came to me.

 

_Do I want to stay Inquisitor?_

 

In all seriousness, _do I give a fuck about this business?_

_I could grab my shit and go._

 

I ask, holding back the obvious hope, “You could copy the mark?” I cock my head, curious.

 

“I’ve been able to do that of other glyphs?” He shrugged.

 

That irritated me for a second.

 

This wasn’t a thing to shrug over, damnit. The Fade was  _huge_ , powerful, the sheer  _potential..._

 

Cullen didn’t either. “Your attitude to keeping the world free of rifts is appalling,” He stated, eyes narrowing.

 

Chang’s eyes widened and he waved his hands at that. “It’s not like that! I understand the seriousness of it! It’s more to being able to copy I’m easy over. I believe I could. Wouldn’t having another hand healing up the rifts be the best? Keep a whole platoon on me because I’m not trusted, but another person going round healing the damn world is a bit more important than the Herald stuff in my opinion.”

 

I look up at the ceiling as Leliana, Cullen and Josephine debate this.

 

Then I close my eyes and exhale.

 

I was going to do it.

 

First, however, “Did you kill Falon’Din?” I question when I motion him over and he comes to me side.

 

The Earthling grimaced. “No. He was too powerful. I didn’t get much more from him other than his bruised pride shouting about himself. I got him to some wisp form but he was able to escape. I found out he was some kind of God of the nine Elvhen, if what the University tells me is correct.”

 

“You came with the University delegation then?” I could have spoken to him weeks ago, damn it! Stupid pride! “I should have looked in on them.”

 

“Yeah, I did, but don’t worry. I know you’re busy with everything.” He nods and then looks at me in relief. “It’s so good to know I’m not alone here. And is he _yours?_ ” He looks to the side to my close companion.

 

The Advisors are still arguing but they’re looking our way. “Yes,” I reply distractedly as I see hands beginning to point as the arguing got worse.

 

“And the dog?”

 

I blink and frown, with a, “What?” And realise he’d meant Solas, first and turned to the man who was looking back in absolute amusement. I laughed lightly at that. “Oh, I thought you meant Woofers, here! Solas is my ally. Hopefully still is,” I murmur, staring the male down, “When I give you a copy.”

 

Solas' eyes widened, completely disagreeing.

 

“Inquisitor, please-” Cullen cut himself off, unsure how to even proceed he was so against this.

 

“You were named Herald,” Leliana went on for him. “If you give the mark away, even as a copy, it lessens you as a credible person.”

 

My eyebrows rise at that. “Credible? I found the way to heal the Blight. Credibility is the least of my worries. The only credibility that goes is the Inquisition’s, which, with the world having another one able to close them, should be happy. The sooner I have Corypheus killed off and the Breach closed once and for all, the better, because I am gone to go do what I love. Not a duty that shouldn’t even be placed on a person from another world when this isn’t even my home.”

 

“Can we get home?” Chang asked, wistful.

 

I had an idea or two stewing in my brain for a while, put on the backburner. “There might be a way. Might be. The fact you can copy glyphs could very well help us.”

 

“Lani…” Josephine said, mournful.

 

I turn to her but say nothing. I don’t know what she wants from me.

         

“Please reconsider. The people need a figure to look up to, a group to find safety in.”

 

“Haven’t I done enough for your world, Josie? Who else in living memory has done more than I have?”

 

A moment of nothing passed, the Ambassador not wanting to say anything more.

 

There was a silence.

 

The man from my homeland asked, “So… does that mean you were in the Fade twice? Who did you meet?”

 

“Twice?” Cassandra sharply inserted.

 

I ignored her. “I don’t know their names or abilities. It was a she.”

 

Solas came over, and there was some sort of veiled urgency in his tone. “Did she have spear? No. Wield fire?” I shook my head again. “It would not have been Mythal, so, Ghilan’nain. You escaped Ghilan’nain?”

 

“The weakest, right?” Chang inputted, thinking back to his history studies in Orlais. “Didn’t she create animals and have this thing with halla and hart?”

 

“Yes. She did.”

 

I flickered my eyes to him, feeling a flicker of irritation. “No, I killed her. Her wisp dispersed into me, gone forever,” I murmur and pat my chest as I walked to Chang.

 

Solas’s magic thrummed in him in relief and approval, but then-

 

I grabbed the other-worldly man’s hand, felt the tug of magic copying, but I held the power back, didn’t let Solas’s mark be ripped in two, didn’t let whatever bound him to me go over to Chang.

 

Chang frowned, bewildered at being half-stopped and tried harder.

 

Oh, he could have a mark, and it would do the same job as mine, _but it would not have my ally in it_.

 

Nor would it have me in it.

 

A few seconds later in which I overpowered all attempts and watched curiously as Chang began to sweat heavily, breathing hard and leaning over with hands on knees, the mark was copied. I watched him collapse back onto the ground, not looking any worse for wear with an amused light in my eyes and a small grin tugging my lips up. He got a working mark, but neither myself nor Solas, or full keeping of it should I choose to take my magic back. Like Solas’ magic on my hand was meant only for him to wield with death, as was this.

 

“W-Why was that so hard?! Nothing has ever been so difficult before…” Chang wheezed and cough, straightening up.

 

I stared at him, suddenly realising it hadn’t mattered he was one of mine – he was now in this world. A world that was slowly becoming something for me to play in before I figured a way back. “Your magic was trying to simply take it, but the mark _is_ mine, and you’d have to outclass me in magic to take it from me. Basically what you were doing was trying to get power over me, and darling, that could never happen. I'm so much more stronger in magic than you are.”

 

I wonder… If the wisp in me was fully enveloped and I got the power of Ghila- No. No I bloody well worked my arse off to be able to create animals. It was my science that allowed me to understand to multicellular organisms and how they went together for me to be able to do so. Biology was my thing, damnit. Of course it wasn’t me stealing a skill! I’d worked for it! I’d worked damn hard! I’d practically perfected it!

 

A shiver of frustration went down my spine.

 

It can’t have been, just… just bloody, bloody _stolen!_

 

Not like Chang and Falon’Din!

 

I’d worked on my plant knowhow – maybe it was time to start creating them too.

 

His magic twitched. “Oh, is that what it does? Are you really?”

 

Twitched in a way I knew was annoyance.

 

Ah.

 

_Enemy._

 

My mouth grinned as I locked onto him, walking closer to the table. “Yup. So, we’ll run you through where we’re sending you out to go practice the closing.”

 

I didn’t trust him in the slightest.

 

“Sounds good!”

 

He was likely still of Falon’Din.

 

And if Falon’Din thought Ghilan’nain weakest…

 

I purred inwardly, magic rumbling in gleeful delight and locked eyes with a knowing and somewhat relieved looking Solas.

 

 _This could be fun._  

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

 

 


	21. Brooding

 

 

** Chapter Twenty-One **

 

 

 

The weeks past as we waited for Hawke and Alistair to come back, and not a moment of it was wasted. Alexius and I had made much headway on creation of items together, making the scanning crystal better than ever, even dallying with the idea of making a whole other plane of existence. It was an idea that struck me, because I really wanted to try that.

 

Surely it’d be less catastrophic than time?

 

I had Nina summarising points of multiple plants for me, who’d already been rather good at them at wanting to be like the Dalish as a kid and learning all she could from her grandmother, wanting to see who’d come up to me to ask about them. Though… no one did, which was surprising. More than one person had come up to me about my biology in the early days. I wondered if Nina was just that good or no one wanted to know why, just what. I’d already noted a few persons likelier to follow her, having put magic into everyone around me. Just bits, hidden and undetectable, but everyone regardless.

 

Just in case.

 

I made it like a virus, of course, and knew there was more and more people outside being tagged with my magic, all the same amount and generated by the persons own ATP. Eventually all of Thedas would have it, and _then_ I’d be safe. Because that exact amount was all I need to thrust it to their neck and slice it open. I couldn’t do elements without immense difficulty and waste of magic, but I easily _could_ do Fade.

 

First let me be safe and in control of something, was my thought, then I would work on my weaknesses.

 

A summary of the Elvhen pantheon I had done by one of the elf mages that was more than happy to do so was before me.

 

And yes. Mother of Halla, Lady of Navigation, _Creator of Beasts_.

 

I’d seriously wanted to throw the parchment into the fire.

 

I was now thought of as some copy. They all thought I’d be like her, my closest. That I’d spawn beasts left right and centre like she would, and it’d escaped amongst the elves here, too (purposefully I bet, and mentally narrowed my eyes at Leliana), that I’d killed one and Falon’Din had been partially destroyed by Chang. There was half hatred and part fear, and part veneration by some of them, because they thought us the next generation of Elvhen Gods and the Evanuris would arise and save them, especially when they saw not one inch of hatred from either of us other-worlders. Inclusive of Nina.

 

But not one thought I _wouldn’t_ end up like her.

 

Be _Lady Ghilan’nain’s_ Champion that took over her.

 

Be _Lady Ghilan'nain's_ destroying Successor that took over her.

 

Either one.

 

But it’d be _like her._

 

Even if I was to say I could from before I even knew, _ah but it’s her power, so-_

 

No! Piss off!

 

I shoved my boots on, mind now on plants. She was just some dead once-goddess now. I was here and alive and so much better. She may not have been in her prime anymore, but neither was I then, nor even now. There was still so much to learn, so much to figure out and study. I go through the little my biology book has on plants, mostly because two out of three were for anatomy purposes. But it was enough when crossed with the scanning electron microscope images matched up with my personal scanning crystal. It was awkward to hold and eventually made me have to put it down from the weight but-

 

My held jolted up I thought of those night vision goggles super-spies had. Perfect.

 

I jumped off my bed, grabbing a coat Vivienne would approve of and tug it on, grabbing a sash to tie it because apparently buttons weren’t the in thing. It looked messy and I couldn’t be bothered with my hair, knowing we’d be leaving in a couple hours for the Western Approach, so I grabbed another and tied it around my head like an extravagant bandanna. It tied the ends into a chunky plait over my shoulder, noting the ends really were touching my hips. The length had already been long back in my world but-

 

It suddenly struck me, stilling my whole body.

 

I hadn’t counted the days I’d been here in… at least three weeks.

 

I swallowed.

 

 _But I was always busy_ , I knew and told myself practically, _it wasn’t a big deal._

 

Parchment-loads of science stared back at me with my terrible penmanship from lack of using ink and quill before now fixed to semi-decent by time here.

 

I closed my eyes and breathed out.

 

It didn’t matter.

 

Right now, grabbing these pieces of thick paper with ideas on it was, I had other things to do. So I did, bustling them together, knowing my pack was ready since yesterday. It was less heavier than it had been, one of the servants putting it together, because there had been too many clothes in it and I’d had to take them out. Of course they’d disappeared and I wouldn’t be surprised to find them in a carriage on the way to Adamant Fortress already.

 

Josephine and Vivienne.

 

Honestly.

 

We were about to go through _war_.

 

Our forces had already left there, Cullen gone ahead with his many troops.

 

And I was left to deal with my own problems.

 

Chang.

 

Dark hair, mocha eyes and a sleek smile and knowing look. I didn’t mind what I’d done, though it’d cause less problems if I hadn’t. That was fine. Always good to have some challenge. Of course, what challenge he would bring, I didn’t know. The problem was that he could copy – how far that went I didn’t know. But what I did know was that it was only if I let him copy. And frankly, I had a great imagination. He’d have to catch up, if he ever could. Confidence or arrogance? I didn’t know. I just knew he mimicked, and hopefully that would lead him to sitting upon his own laurels. Well, that was it, right? Just let him think it.

 

But if he had thought of that, then I’d have to let multiple paths viably lead him astray.

 

Alright.

 

I could do that.

 

After all, I could let him find Nina’s path. Let him ‘find out’ she was close to me let him see what she found, let him lead it to Solas. The elf guy was obviously cleverer than I was. Or something like that. He could deal. Even though I knew he was frustrated and bewildered by my allowing of letting power slip. But frankly I couldn’t deal with all this. I wanted my science, but how was that to compare to all that Josie was teaching me, diplomacy, language, culture, etiquette, history, wordsmithing an heraldry and so much more? How was that to compare to my re-studying of biology, of keeping up with my spies, of learning and studying of all that was magical, like elements and control and glyphs and their multiple uses and power? How was that compared to keeping fitness up, keeping myself defended learning of the world and enemies and my own tiredness?

 

I was exhausting quicker and quicker these days.

 

As much as I hated it, I was going to combust soon because I can’t keep up.

 

Too much, and too often I just stared at the wall and wanted to sit.

 

The problem was, humans of my time were simply better than in this time.

 

Humans of my time were used to working outside hours, getting emails and rings and texts. Used to being faster, more enduring in mind, and smarter. Perhaps not stronger or with greater physical stamina, though, seeing the chunky woodcutters and farmer around. But most everything else. It was like it was now expected of me. With how my humans lived always on call, always having to push themselves, we were inherently better due to tech and science. But we burnt out easier than these lot did, that’s for sure. Any civ might outclass them with some training, but these guys had more loyalty and some kind of will based on their love of King and Country, so to speak.

 

They were better lovers and more protective for it.

 

Our people were inherently more selfish. They just were.

 

Yet here, they were more callous of others and small-minded, fear halting their every move, whereas mine were fearless intrepid souls ever-thirsting for the new.

 

I wasn’t sure which were worse.

 

Either way, I made my way to Alexius, who lit up upon seeing me, arm raising up and I slid under it, hugging into him in hello. Yup, me and him and become quite the experimental pair. His magic never feared mine, always brightening upon seeing me, intrigued and excited, and even Felix’s feeble magic liked me. Such as now, as both of them greeted me as we entered the Undercroft and Dagna dropped everything she was holding to rush over to me and hug me tight with Gereon, making the man tut but not let go yet. “Oh, Lani! Please be so careful! It’ll be so dangerous!”

 

I plucked her up and hugged her just tight as Gereon’s arm dropped off me, not wanting her to see my pain of her thinking such a thing. God’s did I love her. The back of her head was cradled in my hand, fingers sliding into her silky hair and burying my face into her neck, breathing her in. “Every magical had a scent, Dag. Do you know you smell like the kiln and hope to me? How can I leave that behind?” My fingers dug in. “I love you so much, soulmate.”

 

She tightened her hold back. “I love you too.”

 

Her words made my magic shiver in joy. “I’ll always come back, okay? Don’t believe what anyone says. When this dies…” I take a chunk of my magic and push it into a bit of lyrium she had in hand and was working with, which turned the colour of mandarins, and give it to her. Part of my life force was in it, loaded with - I winced as I cut my fingertip - blood infusing into it to turn it a darker colour of blood orange. “Then I’ll be dead. Make it a necklace or something.”

 

But an idea hits me.

 

I could…

 

I could grow back from that though, that tiny drop of blood caught in magic to keep it sustained. The thought of it astounds even me. “But if I’m truly dead, you have to put your magic into it so I can come back. Make sure I’m actually dead, even if it’s years. I know you’ll look after me, Nas’falon.” I say, not knowing what the word was, but all this Elvhen stuff must had weirded my mind out, because for some reason I knew it meant other half.

 

And she was.

 

I adored her.

 

More than Josie or Woofers or Solas.

 

I went to my knees, lower than her height, clasping her cheeks. “You keep bringing me back and I will always protect you. Just wait for me.” I take my thumb and slice a bit with a blade of Fade once again, letting more blood drop onto the lyrium in her hold just in case. It throbs a comforting hum and I don’t care this is considered blood magic. “It’s just liquid off of me. You know that, right?”

 

“I-I know. I just… I have a bad feeling.” She sighed, unhappy.

 

I gently lean up and kiss her brow. “You can bring me back, my soulmate.” I touch my forehead to hers. “Always do so. And if you want… I can keep you going as well. I give you magic but… I can give you longevity too.” I look between each eye of hers, seeing the unsure light. “Tell me next time. I would not push you into anything.”

 

Dagna hugged me again. “Thank you.”

 

I sigh happily into her, breathing her in. “Nas’Dag…” I was about to let go.

 

She hugged tighter. “We’ll… stay arcanists though, right?”

 

“Damn right we will! Ever understanding everything, us!”

 

“Then… I want to. Just… I don’t want to be alone?”

 

“Or I,” Felix states strongly, and we both turn to him. “My father and I… we both admire what you’ve done. We don’t want to ever stop this.”

 

Gereon nods. “Indeed so. We’d be honoured to be by your side as your companions.”

 

Frankly, I couldn’t say no.

 

The best experimenter and financial advisor and arcanist I’d ever met?

 

“You’d be mine. I can’t do it any other way. I don’t know how,” I remark. “My magic will literally make you live as long as I. If I die, I don’t know what will happen to you. You’d have to keep this secret.”

 

Gereon puts a hand on my shoulder, warm, magic in him reaching for me. “Do it.”

 

I get up, still shorter than his six foot by at least a half a foot and put my hand to his neck, gripping it. I didn’t have to do it like that, but seeing a bit of fear in his eyes got me going, terribly enough. His magic connected with his ANS and CNS and then to me, in a much more linked version than say Cullen’s, who was simply sucking off my magic to stop his addiction to lyrium still. It was beyond easy and less intense doing it on another than on me. It made me stare at how easy. Then I did the same to Felix and Dagna… and wondered what it meant. Solas, Dagna, Felix, Gereon… did it mean they were mine? Like… I’d taken them for my own?

 

It felt like it was so.

 

Mine.

 

Something dark in me liked that, and I didn’t question that either. All four mine. I’d have to get Josie and potentially Leliana in on that too, but with Solas…

 

That felt like another story entirely.

 

I finish with making Dagna mine, who smiles at me warmly, pleased to be so, and give her a smile. I rush myself off to Alexius as I say, “So I’ve this idea, if you can do it in the next two hours…”

 

I speak of my crystal, wondering about a smaller version that could not only see in the dark, but detect multiple lifeforms and zoom deeply as I wish into the goggles. Alexius declared it easy and shooed me away for an hour, though I stayed down there with Felix, who was grilling me about the clinic I wanted to set up and then being tugged at by my dear nas-falon about scientific background of my plants after that when arrangements were finished up, followed by Felix putting his two cents in about plants he’d known for his powders and the pair watched as I made my own extremely poisonous vine of ivy, not affecting myself or these three because I wished it.

 

It was more difficult than beasts which got my goat, but I was glad to do it well enough, like I had when I first began beasts and grinned.

 

Everyone expected animals…

 

I’d give them Venus fly traps and other such man eating plants.

 

Well, unless in dire straits.

 

“That’s great!” Dagna cheered as multiple plants did a snake dance as they rose up, not threatened in the slightest. I twirled them around before flattening them, made more come up and began to make steps of it. “Oh sweet!”

 

I laughed at the terminology coming from her mouth. “Thanks!”

 

“Here.” Gereon holds out a much smaller crystal to put over my eyes and I saw it tied into my hair. Curious, I test it with my magic, finding nothing bad as I scan it and the put the much smaller crystal over my eyes, knotting it up and…

 

It’s everything I wish. I focus my magic in it, leaving it in there and finding it zoomed right in on things, one eye at a time if I so wished it. I could see them all, life forms of everyone within magical range known to me.

 

I gawp. “Alexius…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“You’re incredible!”

 

He preened. “That I am, yes.”

 

The horn goes and I jump up. “I have to go. Have fun sciencing! I’m jealous already.”

 

They nod, and with a re-straightening of my new crystal goggles that could focus in and out on life forms and to bacteria with a touch of my magic, I leave.

 

* * *

  

* * *

 

Alistair stares at me oddly. “Those are… pretty.”

 

I fondly touch the crystal over my eyes, likely to only come off when I need to wash, and nod. “Thanks, Warden.” I look at a heat signature before it touches my hand as I grin at him, squeezing for a moment. “Want me to cure you of Blight?”

 

“I, uh, not yet? I still wish to be a Warden?”

 

“Up to you.” I say without inflection, on the back of my new hart. It was super responsive to my needs and scared the bejeesus outta me when it screeched. I’d eventually have to make a new one to ride and a couple more and send the old on it’s way with a new female so they’d procreate. The next time we stopped I would, putting the urge to in them. “Your choice. But this time is free.”

 

“You’d… You wouldn’t let me have it free next?”

 

I snort as Solas comes up to my side on his own hart. “Now or never, baby.”

 

“You are a cruel woman.”

 

“Yes, the offer of curing a disease in you no one else had been able to cure must be so _hard_ to _decide_ over,” I scoff. I turn to my ally incredulously. “Can you believe this? Well,” I say to my companion and Solas chuckles at my fake annoyance. “It’s going to cost fifty gold next time.”

 

“Fifty?!” He squeaks out.

 

“Certainly. I need to fund a health clinic, after all, and I can’t be diverting funds from Skyhold when we’re off to a Battle,” I reply easily. “A lot poorer than you will need to be healed of Blight you seem to wish to have that they don’t.”

 

He went red but didn’t say anything else after trying to defend the Grey Wardens, riding off to one of the wagons.

 

Cassandra rode up to me. “They try, the Wardens. I can say no more.”

 

I give a smile and nod. “I understand. Don’t tell him, but I will do it for free. The rich will pay for it.”

 

And yes… I was a bitch enough to have nobleman’s ‘be infected’ with it, with Josie sweetly lining them up for me.

 

On purpose.

 

How else was I to pay for my clinic?

 

Not a damn bronze bit was going elsewhere than the clinic, so I didn’t feel a shred of guilt, not matter the amount I had saved up with Felix and Josie already, telling them to put every bit of bronze into a safe. It would cost a lot, but I would get a government or two to see my way with Josie and Leliana on my side. I’d already pushed Josie to get Leliana to do so and she happily guilted the Nightingale. I was glad to have her on my side.

 

Hawke cheerfully came to my other side. “Ready to fight a battle?”

 

I thought on my flowers and vines, just waiting to be called up.

 

“Oh yes.”

  

* * *

  

* * *

 

I flinch and stumble back, yelping as the dragon slammed onto the fortress and tried to burn us down with a scorching breath.

 

Solas pulled me back up, keeping me next to him with a fierce protectiveness while not letting his barrier drop. I know he simply wanted to stay alive, but wanted to keep me alive too. Likely because I was slowly learning he also was under my power. Who knew what would happen to him should I die? I’m also guessing he’d have a better understanding on what, so I’m also guessing that’s why he wants to keep me alive. I take a chunk of my magic out and put it into the hand holding his, giving it over while feeling little blips of my magic go like a light here and there over the battlefield and he takes it, barrier almost cementing as our joined power flare out.

 

The dragon snarls in fury at being unable to get to its target, only to snap its head and breath in deeply.

 

We watched as it stormed off to go higher.

 

“Clarel!” Alistair called out and charged off.

 

Cursing, I rush off with my team following, and hurried steps and corridors later around this winding fortress, we see Clarel and that Calpernia woman facing off one another, Orlesian versus Tevinter. The dragon roared, dive-bombing the Warden Commander but with a quick focus, vines slash up and rush around the bald woman in a circle, grasping her and pulling her down through the stone bridge, leaving a hole behind. The dragon couldn’t quite stop its’ decent, slamming into the bridge and cracking it whole. Because of the hole from me, it instantly snapped and fractured the walkway and the whole group of us fell down, yelling the whole way. Desperate for a way out, my magic flared through me in a bid to survive and my hand thrummed as it awoke from that, slashing open the world before us, and sending us slap bang into the Fade.

 

I landed with a loud grunt, instantly feeling the magic of the world begin to suck itself into me and I let it because more magic never hurt anybody yet, sitting up and peering around through squinted eyes.

 

Grimacing, I got up, patting myself down.

 

I scowled.

 

Yeah, this place hadn’t changed one bit and was just as terrifying as before.

 

At least there were no insane elf goddesses.

 

Not immediately.

 

_The rock._

 

I instantly began looking around, trying to find that smooth stone but finding only jagged stones jutting out or sharp malignant looking obelisks around me, cruel and taunting and making me want to curl in on myself weakly.

 

It was so different to the almost hazy lullaby of a world I had been in…

 

It wouldn’t be here.

 

Just… something in me said it wouldn’t and then I felt the magic around me. Idly taking in Solas and Dorian to my left as I pulse out bits of my magic, just in case, I look to my right where Alistair and Hawke and Iron Bull are minutely freaking out. I look down with a frown because… this place feels so much smaller than what I recall. Miniscule actually, compared to what I experienced. Was this really the Fade? I mean, it had to be but… I look around, bemused. Its magic was different and I could see the changes already due to my suctioning up of it. This must be some room of the Fade. A weak one. But what happens when I suck all the magic out?

 

When it does go, does that mean we go into the Fade proper or-

 

I blink and turned to face a certain direction.

 

I felt… myself?

 

Without a thought to others I step forth, staff long gone as I walk forward. Instantly, Iron Bull and Dorian are by my side, blathering on in my ear about remaining protected while others fall in line. I say abruptly, “It has a part of me, this place.”

 

“Part of you?” Iron Bull growled out, hands on great axe as he looked around. “It’s got control of you, Boss?”

 

“Certainly not!” Dorian sniffed at his partner. “A part, not her! If I were to think… I’d say it was the time our dear Inquisitor couldn’t remember?”

 

I hadn’t thought of that, but it made _so much sense_.

 

I turn to him, amazed, grasping his forearm. “Exactly. This… plane of the Fade, has a part of my memories. You’ll all see what happened then with Corypheus and that orb.”

 

Then we met this… Spirit. It wasn’t her, Cassandra’s Most Holy.

 

A mimicry, but one done in reverence.

 

A Spirit of Reverence.

 

It spoke to me after we saw the memory of how I got into the Fade, “You cannot escape the lair of The Nightmare until you regain all it took from you. Because you have now taken some of yourself back, it knows you are here.”

 

Dorian scoffed. “If it’s only that and not the fact power has been enveloping our Inquisitor like it’s got no last wishes, then Nightmare is stupid indeed.”

 

I raise my brows. They could feel that?

 

“Do not look so surprised, ma’vanasha. We all cannot feel much else but you, mage or not.” Solas comes up to my side, amused and intent as I looked at him and then the others who nodded. “It was like this last time?”

 

“Yes, but so much more. Here is weak. Very weak,” I add on, looking around. I blink at the look on Dorian and Hawke’s disbelieving faces. “It’s true. Hm.” I suction magic out of me and suck in some Fade as well, touching Dorian’s back with it so his magic equalled Hawke’s. “If you take it in, you will be more powerful.”

 

They seem to try as well, but the attempt is sluggish. It’s odd how I could feel it instantly and how badly they are doing this. “Are you trying to eat through mud?” I put a hand to Dorian’s shoulder and send my magic into him, widening his ability to suck it in. “There. Like so.”

 

The Tevinter gawps at me. “My lady…”

 

I give him a confused look. “Well? The sooner you lot begin to suck it in, the smaller this place gets and the faster we find my stolen memories and get out of here.” I do the same to Hawke and Solas, though he doesn’t need it that much, smiling at me secretively. I collected the memories that were dragged forth to me from the mages sucking in the magic of this plane of the Fade and wince as it was painfully taken back in. It revealed what happened to us all once more.

 

_“Quickly!”_

_I stumbled at the sudden piercing cry and looked up at the old woman climbing the ladder like wall some distance in front of me and ran to her. Ignoring my protesting body as much as I could, I went up, feeling my thigh muscles scream at me. But fear made miracles happen and I was scrambling up and breathing insanely hard, sweat making my hair stick to me and get in my eyes. I got to the top with her, feeling just about done with today. “Who are you?” I wheezed, bending over, hands on knees._

_“The demons!”_

_“What?!”_

_The woman in white and red looked at me in pity but then took off a necklace and threw it over my head, tucking it away and upon grasping my cheeks she kissed my forehead. “May the Maker and Andraste watch over you, child.”_

 

“What clothing was that?” Dorian inquired instantly.

 

“Clothing from twenty-seventeen, London. Just keep sucking up the magic,” I mutter and begin to forcefully take it in me.

 

Solas mentioned without any additional intonation, “Is this wise, Inquisitor? Taking in the very world around us?”

 

“I guess we’ll find out, huh?” I reply just as neutrally.

 

Dorian squawked and stopped taking in magic at that. “I am not about to die here!”

 

I stop when he does, my magic visibly tighter against me and they all relax. “Or we can wait until-” My eyes snap up with the others and I grin as the world gets smaller around us and our exit emerges, remarking, “There’s the rift! Excellent! Nice job, Hawke. I’d likely have sucked it up by accident,” I muse, completely lying.

 

Alistair chokes at that.

 

“I’ll go last and suck up the rest of it so it doesn’t go to waste.” I clench my fist and tug, allowing the rift to reopen.

 

The others nod and jump in.

 

About to follow, Nightmare reveals itself and I snap the way back to Adamant closed, not wanting that let loose on the men and women out there.

 

“ _You shall perish!_ ”

 

I glower at it before chucking confidently and drawling out, “Seriously, I’ve fought worse than you. I mean, you don’t think you’re anything akin to a _Goddess_ , now, do you?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reckless...


	22. The Eidolon of Ocean, Seas and All Waters

 

** Chapter Twenty-Two **

 

 

Nightmare is mine with an ease I could scarcely believe was possible.

 

It succumbed so easily to me.

 

I stare at it, feeling so very disconnected with life, as if watching a film.

 

People feared it, but the Fade did as I willed with an ease that even scared me, and I’d gotten used to sharp, intensive power beyond power.

 

I bound it, made it my own, watched as it shrieked and cried for help as I watched it helplessly twitch against my might.

 

Huh.

 

I watched it with scientific, hands-off eyes as it cried out for help.

 

How curious.

 

* * *

  

* * *

 

 

“Let me go and I am yours,” June beseeched, on his knees before me. “I cannot stay here any longer. Please. I would be your willing slave, just to be free of my gilded prison of thousands of years.”

 

I stare around me at the opulent mansion the Elvhen god was in, gut wrenching at the thought of that happening to me. _How many years could **I** stand?_ But I didn’t know the full transgressions this man could have made. Surely he wasn’t like the some kind of Mao figure, right? But if he was and he wanted freedom, then he’d need a jailor. Either way the thought of thousands of years…

 

_Even if you’d killed a million people, was thousands of years by yourself too much of a punishment?_

 

I did recall that humans couldn’t last months without touching contact when in forced solitary confinement and not end up going insane, and forget about anything more than a year…

 

That was food for thought.

 

I don’t think I could leave him in here.

 

It was too much to bare, and I was still so easily manipulated emotionally as compared to this world and its’ harsher ways.

 

But I couldn’t ignore this anyway.

 

“Your word is your bond, then. Swear yourself to me, fully and utterly and everything you are or will be is mine and everything you do is by my command,” I state in utter demand.

 

Likely, to him, I just sounded like the sweetest freedom there was.

 

I’d been sucking up power through all the multiple planes of the Fade world, searching for my rock and finding nothing, meeting Spirits and Demons of all kinds. A few good Spirits promised to keep an eye out for me, but I heard nothing from them, which was unsurprising. A tiny rock I could barely remember… but I had asked them to link it to the Evanuris if they could, using the resonances of the energy from the memory of my palm when the magic still belonged to Solas.

 

Fen’Harel.

 

An odd thing to know that one of the closest people you knew was a hated deity.

 

Seriously, it was hard to link Solas, intelligent, kind, and sophisticated, to the Fen’Harel of stories, wicked, rough, and abhorrent.

 

Fade Mage to Dread Wolf.

 

The Spirits insisted he was, and I found memories galore, all open to me.

 

I asked to find more of them.

 

But, they’d instead found for me the one called June, taking ‘them’ to mean the Evanuris.

 

“Anything, my lady, is yours. Just please…” His spirit pulsed and willingly came to me and I grabbed it, watching as his mark, his name – _quite like those old tales of magical beings never giving their name away lest it be used against them_ – tattooed itself on my upper forearm, just under the crease of my elbow. It was a beautiful script, short and in a deep forest green, but with multiple circles of glyphs around it in a bold wiggling formation, tiny and in a bright tangerine orange of my magic outlined in black. Pretty, but perfunctory, almost. The deal was sealed and with immense amount of power to overcome the seals and chains upon him, my magic slashed through and I caught him in my arms.

 

My stomach dropped as I realised something important.

 

It felt just like Solas’s mark.

 

June hugged me tightly, falling over himself to thank me.

 

A gorgeous specimen, just like Ghilan’nain, but there was something almost terrifying about the guy that turned a person off from them, a sort of miasmic… negative…ness? It was hard to describe.

 

He was so attractive and yet revolting.

 

Eyes like starlight kept just that little bit too long in the kiln and somewhat burnt. Hair that was sleek and silky but tinted with an off ash blond light to the pale white hair it usually was. Dark skin that had a silken chocolatey appeal to it but slightly _not right_ from the Fade. An almost nasty sneer to the face that seemed to be made for smiling. June was an odd creature to look upon, elvhen with that nose they had and the slightly too big eyes and too defined jaw. The was extra mass to him that you just didn’t see on any other elf out there, broad shoulders leading to an attractively slim waist and down to a well-shaped arse and powerful thighs.

 

Like Solas, but if he had a liking for interrogation, and a disappointment if it didn’t get violent and more off-putting in aura, too.

 

Right now, there was only relief and awe on his face as he looked up at me, knelt from falling to the ground after being released from dragging around utter kilos of metal.

 

I’d take it for as long as it lasted.

 

I gave him a grin and held a hand out to him. “Come on, June. I have a project for you, if you’d be so kind. I heard you created quite a few things in your time…”

 

His eyes looked upon me, intense, fascinated, awed.

 

Like the elves that worshipped me because they thought I was the second coming of that Evanuris.

 

It conflicts me, feeling all sorts of balking, fear, satisfaction, wondering, but I ignore the thoughts and go on.

 

We… We have much more interesting things to do than that!

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

  

I wasn’t sure how long it was for us in the Fade – some days felt like nothing at all, and others felt like a fortnight – but eventually my plans were completed.

 

A plane of existence, fresh and untouched, quite like the Crossroads, but separate from the other three planes already here. The physicality of my magic grew all it needed to be self-preservative earth and plant life everywhere, with June doing the load-work of creating ways of maintaining it in such concentrated areas of magic and also for when the eventual Veil being crashed down happened. He sunk into making that world perfect and adding water as was his preference in element, delighting in it being so like what he’d once known, a mix of Fade and the Waking world and feeling an utter need to have some semblance of what he’d once had. He’d cursed Fen’Harel in one sentence and then blessed him the next for stopping him from his tyranny when he didn’t realise I was near and able to hear him, mumbling to himself in hisses and sobs and lost in his work.

 

He was clearly in need of medical help of some kind for his mind, but that was far from what I knew to do.

 

Twenty eight years and pretty much inexperienced against his how many thousands of pain?

 

Yeah, I couldn’t help him. Solas might be able to… but the thought of them meeting made me shudder. Who knows what each of them would do when meeting the other? Solas had proven himself able to have a man locked up for thousands of years (a horrifying prospect) and June occasionally destroyed something so completely I didn’t think it was worth redoing in case it pissed him off again, somehow, by it coming back. It did make for some interesting looking cliffs when you saw it halved but for a sizeable walkway because he hadn’t been completely near the edge.

 

I should probably come up with names.

 

_Splattering’s of Six Months’ Rage, Part Eighteen._

 

I grin to myself at the thought and walk it, idly wanting a soft waterfall coming down the sheer drop. This could be a nice little Swiss Alps type of place.

 

Sitting down on the cliff edge, I sighed happily.

 

It was all still in development, but, looking around, it would come out damn good.

 

After losing my home with next to no way back…

 

I look up at the sky, feeling the warm breeze with the scent of honeysuckle on it and hearing the clanking of June in the background.

 

It felt like a new home.

 

This? This was good.

 

* * *

 

  

* * *

  

“Lady Lani? Are you quite sure you wish to have him granted access?” June didn’t show the emotion on his face, but captivity seemed to have him made him forget his magic was an acute way of showing what he felt and displeasure was blaring from him.

 

Something was pounding in the back of my head. “Solas has always protected me. Even if only to keep his mark protected. I believe in that. Open a way. Immediately.”

 

“The Wolf has always been tricky,” June warned but did as I wanted. “I will protect you against him.”

 

“He still is, yes. Thank you, June. I hear you.”

 

It was upon letting him have access my mark pulsed, something it hadn’t done for so long, the smallest bit of green clawing back.

 

But not to _take_ back.

 

_A call._

 

And it was _desperate_.

 

“Open a way to Skyhold for me, June. Now. Keep working, but listen out for me, just in case.”

 

With a flash of ruby red power in his eyes, there was an Eluvian, active. “Please come back safe, My Lady.” There was a hoarseness in his voice. “Here.” He put his hand on my shoulder, and my clothing turned to old Elvhen armour, and even leaving me with that orange sash I so loved.

 

“Of course.” A wink, and I step through, looking around the part of Skyhold I was in and recognise it as a gate tower, able to hear things and smell distinct scents that should not be happening. My eyes widen at the fire I see, gawping out the window when I raced to it. There was fighting along the bridge, clanking of swords slamming against each other, war cries of fury and sounds of pained agony. That wasn’t all, as there was a whole goddamn _army_ back there. Thousands of warriors attacking us. I look up, seeing multiple dragons above the front end and then scramble to the other side of this tower gatehouse, seeing even more of them above, the easy dodging of boulders from catapults meant to break down walls rather than hit flying lizards. There were two dragons fighting the other dragons, but doing more dodging than anything, a good distraction.

 

**_My_ ** _people!_

 

Possessiveness and worry capture me, and my magic buzzes to life, angry and magnificent. It felt like ages ago, but I had my three closest mages do up the defences on Skyhold and think of that. I focus my magic on the wall and the magic of Skyhold’s barriers flashed at the influx and then it greedily suctioned power from me, topping itself up and causing a screech of wrath echoing across the fortress, making me smirk at stopping the attack. Still the attacking from outside made me go back to the window, showing the bridge and with a thought, I focused on each of the people that were mine with my magic in them and jerked vines around them in spheres, grasping them and dragging them down and into the main open area of the fort before the stables.

 

Shouts of confusion echoed, but I felt a throb in my mark, relieved and yet still urgently tugging.

 

I give into the tugging, finding myself dragged to his side by magic.

 

“You called?” I asked calmly, grinning, fingers linked on my rear comfortably. The look he gives me lights up every one of my nerves as he cups my face with his hands, eyes flickering from my crystal covered eyes to nose to lips and all over. I pull up the goggles and smile at him. There’s no way I can ignore the sheer visceral want on his face. Nor the forceful kiss to my lips, making me squeak but then sink into the kiss with a little moan of want. He parts from me slowly, breathing heavily, taking in my smile. The relief and incredulousness was slowly overcome by the burgeoning incensed look, but I grin wider in reply. “So, you’ve had a bit of a dragon infestation, I see?”

 

The incensed look faded to fond exasperation as he let go of me and said, “Indeed.”

 

“Inquisitor!”

 

I turn from Solas, to see Cullen rush over to me, bewildered at my return but glad to see me. Then he sighed out, incredulous. “Getting out of the Fade… You always were a genius. Dagna told us you were alive, but none of us could really believe…” He shook his head and came up to me, putting hands to my shoulders and squeezing. “I am so pleased to see you, Inquisitor Lani. The barrier and grabbing of the soldiers, my men safe, it was you?” At my nod, he hugs me tight in gratefulness for a few seconds, parts and runs a hand over my hair then face, shaky and almost wanting to argue against the magic but removes his hand and stares at me hard before nodding grimly. “Good. We thought the walls were to collapse under the power of the dragons but-” He thinks of something, cutting himself off to turn and shout out, “Varric! Bring back Merrill and Morrigan!”

 

The crossbowman gives a signal with a flaming bolt and the two dragons that are on our side back down, enemy dragons following and crashing into the barrier.

 

I hear a barking as the two dragons turn to women, slumped to the ground and breathing heavily, one far away and one closer. The closer one was black haired and in some reddish top that didn’t really hide much skin, unusual compared to the rest of the prudish Thedas. I go over, mentally getting Woofers to bury his head under the other one and carry her over as I duck down to the human shapeshifter and heal her exhaustion, pumping her with magic. She gasps and gets up, looking down at me in amazement with her hawkish golden eyes taking me in completely. I smile at her. “I’m Inquisitor Lani Loch-Li, nice to meet one who protects my territory.” I don’t get up as my dog comes over.

 

Woofers barks at me and I take the elf from him as my inner circle begins to come over while I heal her.

 

“Give me the Wolf!” The extremely loud voice bellows, female and righteous. “And the mistress of the fortress that makes him her whelp!”

 

The wolf and I?

 

Big green eyes stare up at me and she asks shakily, “Are you an angel?” Then she sucks in a breath at my armour. “A warrior of the Evanuris?”

 

“I’m the Inquisitor.”

 

“The one who killed Ghilan’nain,” She gasps again. “The one who the Goddess Andruil above us hunts!”

 

Understanding hits me. “Is that who it is? Forgive me, I see you are a worshipper of these repugnant beings, one of the Dalish, but I cannot let her continue to kill my people.”

 

There’s sudden arguing around me I tune into.

 

“We should find who it is that she refers to as Wolf, and give them over,” Vivienne stated heatedly. “We cannot hand over the Inquisitor, but this may give us time.”

 

“Like she’d stop?” Dorian argues back, “With all those dragons?! We’ve only so much time-”

 

“-And people and supplies-” Cullen cuts in and on his side on this.

 

Leliana shook her head. “There’s hints and rumour of an agent of Fen’Harel, who’s wishing to bring about a new world of magic but no one knows who-”

 

Merrill stares at me as I help her up, unblinking.

 

“Why should we give one of our own over? The barrier holds with our Inquisitor here now.” Blackwall steadfastly stated, “And if there are Elvhen Goddesses about, surely _not_ handing over the one that kept them away is the best idea?”

 

“I can’t do this elfy shite!” Sera yelped out. “But if that means backing that _betrayer-god-deity-thing-one_ to get this one to stop killing us, I would! I’m with Blackwall! Rainier! Whatever! We keep Fen’Harel or his agent thingy! Can’t _believe_ I’m saying this.”

 

“If he even is real!” Vivienne retorts hotly, clearly out of her depth by how high her voice gets.

 

“But his agent is! Or at least the agent that thinks Fen’Harel is and if that’s Andruil, I’m inclined to believe these powerful beings really existed!”

 

I turn to Solas to see what he thinks.

 

The Dread Wolf stares back at me, patient and waiting, controlled after his emotional meeting with me.

 

No answer there.

 

But he is close, and his hand lifts and lingers at my back.

 

Warmth makes me nod at him and lean into it.

 

I had missed him.

 

Gently, I reach back and touch his hand, wondering what I wanted when I stared at him, not bothered.

 

He could only stare back, awed and just as confused at my calm confidence as Merrill, hope lighting up his face when I smile at him peacefully.

 

“ _Why_ would he not be real if the others are, if Andruil is above us?!” Cassandra interrupts that.

 

Looking away again, I peer up at the enraged Huntress above me, wondering how else she’d try to get in, throwing different magics at the defences. I count the dragons to pass the time.

 

One, two…

 

Another argument is going on. “Cullen, what the hell are you standing there for?!” Iron Bull roars out, “Get your people ready to keep firing!”

 

“What use is there?!”

 

Eight, nine…

 

“Some potential lucky hit!”

 

Cullen growls but agrees, getting his men to line up shots from the catapults.

 

Josephine wrings her hand, “Please may we get to the task at hand!”

 

“The crazy woman above us?” Iron Bull replies heatedly. “Yeah, I’ve been trying to!”

 

“What other airforce do we have?!”

 

“The Inquisitor could possibly make dragons?!”

 

It was then the group looked at me hopefully.

 

The Dalish gulps, staring at me and slowly backing away as I stare up at Andruil, eyes flickering orange and a throb of power echoing from me.

 

I couldn’t stop the attack on Haven.

 

But I was beyond a far different woman from then.

 

And there was a goddess I swore on once here - not a real one, a beast, once a summoning I remember from a game a lifetime ago - when two men were protective over me.

 

I looked at Merrill who suddenly has Cole by her side. “Move them back, my dears.” Compassion is already moving people away though Solas staunchly remained by my side and I focus harder than ever, seriously going into the depths of my magic and doing my best to drain it in one fell swoop with, “You want the killer of Ghilan’nain, Andruil?! How about instead you get **_LEVIATHAN!_** ” I screamed out in a growling call, hand thrusting forward to concentrate. A ferocious mouth, half the size of any length of dragon, forces itself out of a shining neon glyph circle on the ground several metres wide, with people stumbling back and fearful cries all around me as a colossal beast makes its way roaring out of the ground, not stopping.

 

Merrill trembles and falls to her knees, “By the stars.” She bows to me and swears immediate fealty with, “ _Your worship._ ”

 

Solas’s eyes widen as several more do the same, following suit, but sees my eyes aren’t on them, focused on those above as the beast only continues to come out greater in length than anything he’d seen.

 

No.

 

He wanted people free, not once more-

 

My magic was fast recovering (something that shook even me up and it belonged to me) and it was easily letting this creature keep lengthening out and rushing around the outside of the fortress multiple times. It was a sleek blue, multiple sets of fins along the mammoth body that could easily wrap around Skyhold a good ten times. It was immense, unthought of in scope here and my magic didn’t stop anytime soon as my anger carried me. It roared, echoing across the lands and causing the whole of the continent to still in fear as the earth shook around them. It didn’t stop growing until my magic went far down and even then it was beyond thought from most of how something could be so big.

 

Andruil grasped her spear, knuckles whitening.

 

She’d feared the exact same from Ghilan’nain.

 

_And this time she had no way of stopping it._

 

“I already killed one of you bastards! What makes you think I wouldn’t do it to another that tries to kill me?!” I yell up to her.

 

I put my hand to my upper arm, gaining the attention of June, who instantly understood what I wanted and I grasped the feeling of _water._

 

Andruil and Fen’Harel stiffened at the intense feeling of another Evanuris, having not been this close to more than one other in thousands of years.

 

“Leviathan. _Tsunami_ ,” I hissed out, and the most immense amount of water rose from around the world, the snow melting and making even more for me to rise behind Skyhold, as if I’d sucked up the Amaranthine Ocean in one go and making all but me turn to it. My hands rose as the water did until the beast cried out and the water was so high up in the air with the beast rising with it that it blotted out the sun for a second and shade reigned over us. I yelled out, shoving my hands down, then the tsunami slammed down over fortress and the approaching army, sweeping them away and keeping them suctioned underneath.

 

Leviathan roared as she guided it all, screeching out her victory.

 

Such gargantuan amounts of energy thrusting through me nearly made me black out, but Woofers kept me up, his huge body able to keep me standing, head by my shoulders and arms around his muscular neck.

 

I saw the dragons above trying to escape out of fear. “Kill them,” I state easily, whispering it under my breath, but it was enough and she knew to do it swiftly. The beast swirled around, opening her maw and snapping down on the closest, snipping its neck in half and going after the next dozen odd dragons left gleefully. She snapped through the next, using the water around her to keep them within her grasp. I think to June and the water is sucked up once more, but this time it goes into the Leviathan, who’d I designated to be a guardian of my world. She’d soon go to live in my plane, but for now she would be here, live off my magic and defend Skyhold.

 

Perhaps I’d have to get more magic so the dent it takes to maintain her isn’t too obvious.

 

My eyes settle on Merrill, who fearfully stares back. “Merge into your dragon form and get Andruil.”

 

The Dalish does as commanded in an instant, dragon form coming to life in an instant and sweeping away without thought to deny.

 

“Solas. Bind her when she comes,” I dictate, grasping his hand with my marked one and give him a blast of my remaining power. He clenches back desperately, fingers lacing for a second before nodding when he sees my curious look and let go. I didn’t understand that but watch him go, staff in hand and when Merrill spits her down, the elf has her caught, using my magic to keep her bound in his web of magic. I shift onto the back of Woofers, who takes my weight easily, and mentally tell him to go over, not trusting my wobbly body to hold me up. Already I was flopping forward as Leviathan circles and eats the remains of the dragons she took down, none having gotten away.

 

“I may need more magic. She struggles,” He said through gritted teeth against the flailing once goddess.

 

I could see. I stop flaring healing through me as I reply, “Hold on a little bit,” and grasp onto his arm. A breath out and I pumped whatever what left into me, even sucking from June for a moment. Andruil capitulates, is captured and subdued, and I feel Solas relax and slump onto me. Woofers growls at the weight on him, but can take it. “Done?”

 

“One of the more powerful ones,” Solas mentions quietly and then asks raggedly, “ _How?_ ”

 

“Biology. It was always my strong suit. The body and healing it, or destroying it, or creating entirely new things. That I’m just thought of as some knock off Ghilan’nain, ugh. She lacked imagination.” I grimace, healing Solas up but waiting to heal myself to build my own magic up for now. I feel him stand up properly and look at the unconscious woman in magical chains, upon an immense ring of glyphs and a bright silver barrier around it all. “Wow.”

 

“I am glad I can still impress you, ma’vanasha.”

 

“Why wouldn’t you? You’re an absolute legend to me,” I murmur lowly with a wink, making him snort. “She takes much of my magic to keep maintained.”

 

“The water? Will it go? It will be a blockage to the fortress.”

 

“She now has all of that in her command.” I look up at Leviathan who was swirling around languidly, suctioning the water into her. “She was just a fictional character in my world. Isn’t she fantastic?”

 

Solas also looks up. “She is magnificent. Colossal and yet graceful. But, she will need to eat.”

 

“No. She is like me.” Cole popped in. “I don’t eat. Six months keens for you. He fears being alone. He needs to touch you.”

 

“I will see him then.”

 

My upper arm was held, as per Solas’s usual ways. “Allow me to accompany you?”

 

“Sure thing Solas, but,” I look to Andruil.

 

“It will only be released by my command.”

 

“Yeah, I got some opinions on that.” I slink his arm in mine and call to June as I drag him away and out of sight. The mark heats up and I touch it, making us instantly leave.

  

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole fic also had this as a main idea... to have Leviathan, as has been in the tags since the first chapter, be helping the OC look powerful... Did I make Lani look mighty and incredible? I hope so...
> 
> Posting this as I listen to Emotive, one of my fav teen albums. What's yours?


	23. For the People, of the People

 

** Chapter Twenty-Three **

 

 

 

June is beyond livid at the sight of Solas.

 

And afraid.

 

“What is _that_ doing here?!”

 

“He’s a guest, sixxy. You can speak to him.”

 

“Six…xy?” It throws the mechanical man off for a moment as he reaches out for me, and I take his hand, with him pulling me to him and sagging in relief as he clutched me to his body. “You’ve called me that a couple of time now, My Lady.”

 

“The name June is a calendar month. The sixth one, if you didn’t guess.” I feel his fingers clasp my hair, roving the strands through them as sigh out haggardly.

 

“You and he are… quite familiar with each other.” Solas’s voice rung out, curious, but there was a hard quality to it. “And where are we? This is the Fade, yes?”

 

I smile at him, but don’t remove myself yet from the desperate June’s hold, looking at the fact Solas looked so much _more_ here. More Fen’Harel. More Solas. The waking world made him look dreary in comparison, just as too much Fade had made June look abysmal. Solas practically glowed here with masculinity and power and sleekness like his preferred token animal. Attractive. Sexy as fuck. My eyes lid for a moment, June stiffening but Solas looking relieved and slightly victorious. Tch. Bloody noses. I ignore it and say, “I am making my own plane of existence. Like the Crossroads. I found June in the Fade, we made a deal, and now he is working for me and we make this. The mechanics of the world is worked by him, and the biology of everything around us is me. It’s kind of fun just world-building. It’s so peaceful here as well.”

 

Solas drags his eyes from the hand in my hair to look around, to fully take in what was going on around him. He sighed out, hopeful. Wishful. Delighted. “It feels like _home_.”

 

“The home you ripped from us.”

 

“What would you have had me do, June? Continue the slavery that was getting so bad you were fighting over _stragglers_ to supplement your own power against the others? You were locked away like the others. You who have always demanded the desirous touch of your subjects was locked away with no one, no spirit, as is the justice meted out to you. And now-” His hand tightened on his staff as he took us in once more, cutting himself off, as anger throbbed from him.

 

“And now I am her willing slave.” June put his chin on my head as I listened. “May I?” I nod and allow him to gently lift my hand up, arm following, and the armour was taken away, leaving my forearm bare. “You see, Fen’Harel? I am nothing more than what I so casually took, and I will repent for however long My Lady lives, and I will make sure it is a very, very long time.”

 

Solas came over, used to freeing the bindings of slaves and took it in, touching it with his magic. He sent a firm look at June, who swallowed and nodded. It must have been an hour since he began pulsing magic through it, checking every bit of it, looking for traps, lies and a way to turn it back on the holder, but it was free from all of it. In fact, most of it was ones he himself had made, better than the others at it when he’d been under Mythal’s command. She’d bound them tight to her, protecting them as best she could against the others, even her once husband. He knew the ins and out of this one as his best work, so how-?

 

His eyes went to the mark.

 

Ah.

 

“You truly have bound yourself tight.”

 

June chuckled, making Solas scowl. “Haven’t _I_ indeed?”

 

“Excuse me?” I interrupt swiftly, jerking from the hold of both men. “That is beyond suspicious. Are you able to free yourself so you can go all slaver again?!”

 

“No, My Lady!”

 

“You better not.” I glower at him, prepared to take him down as well should push come to shove. “Try it and I’ll put you down like I did that insane Ghilan’nain.”

 

“I can only thank you. I do not wish to be that again.”

 

I hum at that, neither agreeing or disagreeing. They had power, and that made them people to watch out for. they may be powerful but I was desperate to survive against Gods. _Desperate beyond everything,_ my anxious, paranoid self said. i controlled it for the moment. “Did you complete the Eluvian?”

 

June brightened up at that, always better as a person when he was tinkering. “I have! Come, let me show you?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Solas silently followed us to his work station mere minutes away and his eyes widened at the larger than average mirror before us. June certainly wanted to show off for his new Mistress. There was so much more to this one. “What are the differences between this and any other Eluvian?”

 

Seeing my expectant face, June sighed and answered, “It is disconnected from the others in the way no other Eluvian from the old network will be able to get into it, but it most certainly can have us get into them. This singular one here bypasses all the others I have made in the past. It can allow us to step through any Eluvian, regardless of password or prior blocking of certain peoples. Now, it is connected to this.” He went into full explanation mode easily, going to an interface pedestal to the right side of it. “Which holds all the locations of all the Eluvian’s I could remember, and I add in more when I can remember them. As it is not high on the list of priorities compared to the rest of this world, I merely write them down elsewhere for now.”

 

I look up at it, remarking, “It’s big.”

 

“Leviathan will need to get in and out of here somehow, My Lady.” June remarked softly, not wishing to be rude.

 

“Oh yeah, I was creating her rather than simply transporting her over, back there,” I mumble to myself and then remark louder, “Good thinking.” I need to understand how to transport stuff by myself, just in case.

 

Surely it was less draining than creating a whole new Leviathan?

 

June’s lips twitched and he gave a little bow, silver eyes amused. “Thank you, My Lady. You are young, yes? Perhaps no more than four hundred? Your power is immense for such a young and strangely eared Elvhen.”

 

“Four hundred? Er, try twenty eight, thanks. And I’m human.”

 

The amusement went from June, followed by a burgeoning alarm as he fully turned to me, putting hands to my upper arms. “Twenty… twenty-eight?! You are so young! You should not be in wars! And you are not human!”

 

Wondering if the whole hands to upper arms thing was something the old Elvhen did, I narrow my eyes at him. “I am human.”

 

“My Lady, you are immortal and exceedingly powerful, thus an Evanuris, like us.” June pushed, eyes darting around my face.

 

“No. There’s no way I’m one of you. I am immortal but I am human,” I repeat, this time through gritted teeth. “Remove yourself from me. Now!” I barked, infuriated and he snaps to do it, beginning to shake while I also trembled, scared in my paranoia. “I’ve already lost everything else, there’s no way I’m denying my own humanity!”

 

June bowed lowly, prostrating himself before me. “Of course, My Lady, f-forgive me!”

 

“Forgiven,” I bite out, “But you’ll make sure this plane of existence, this realm or whatever you want to call it, will hold just as it always will at its' greatest without you to power it without any extra burden on myself and I want to know exactly how you believe is most efficient to accomplish this and any other ways you can think of it a report to be complete by the end of the next calendar month on Thedas.”

 

“Anything you say I will complete!”

 

“Good.” I needed somewhere that was my own, where paranoia couldn’t clutch onto me and twist my arm to acting ridiculously. But what did it say about me that I couldn’t even trust my own contract with June when he accepted doing anything and everything for me and keeping me safe while living forever? I guess the thought of some however thousand years old man with all his experience was keeping me on my toes, terrifying me. I would learn from him, create several other lands to retreat to that no one would know of. That’s a plan. Excellent. Right. Okay. “I’ll be back in Skyhold while you are here.” He looked up, eyes juddering in his emotion at that. “If you wish to be with me there, you will not be known as June and nor will you be seen as anything more than one of my companions, like the rest of my inner group. What is your name?”

 

“Telenal.”

 

Solas scoffed at that, never taking his eyes off the other God. “Lazy?”

 

“Quite the opposite of what you are. Alright. If that’s what you want. This will take us to there, yes?” I say going up to the interface with June and Solas coming to each side.

 

“Merely tap in the name and it will do so with the picture in your mind of where you would like to end up. The Eluvian will show a picture and make sure you will not be stuck in a wall or roof or something other than air.” June waited for me to do so, but I did not know the script. “Is this script not in use where you’re from?”

 

“No.”

 

June tapped a finger to his lips and turned around, putting a few glyphs down that Solas watched and nodded at in understanding. “Form an image in your head of the script you wish to be used.”

 

Nodding, I think of the English keyboard and another appears under the Elvhen script, much more rounded and bubbly compared to the Elvhen script. “Can I do another?”

 

“Definitely. Just the one more?” At my nod, he does a few more glyphs and gives me the go ahead, and suddenly the script of pinyin is there, the phonetic Chinese script. “Oh! Is this a glyph script?” He was sucked into each character.

 

“No. Just another language. Chang knows it,” I mention to Solas who nods in acknowledgement and then puts a hand to my back to guide me over to the Eluvian.

 

June stiffened at the sight of that hand on me but asked curiously, “You let him touch you? Though he is but your slave?”

 

Solas was very still beside me, but I look back in confusion. “Have you also not done so?”

 

The tinkering elf brightened up at that and came over, eyes attached to my face, intent and completely goddamned freaky, but I look forward to the Eluvian and go in first, finding myself before the chained up Andruil who seemed to be uncomfortably sleeping before us. Not for long, as her eyes snap open and the guards that were posted there scarpered to go inform someone in charge what was happening.

 

She glowered at me with scorching, hateful, red eyes with skin the golden hues of a glamorous Indian model on one of those wedding magazines my best friend had once sighed over longingly, wanting her own fairy tale wedding. In the waking world, she didn’t look off like June had and I turned to him surprised when he also appeared so normal. It had occurred to me he looked best in the Fade, as had Solas, but wow.

 

Damn, how gorgeous was Andruil if she already looked incredible here?

 

I cocked my head at her when she cursed me in Elvhen. “It’s pretty damn impressive you can use dragons like that. Do you also know biology?”

 

“I learnt how to from my protégé, the one you took, the lover I kept for many a century as my only!”

 

“She tried to kill me. So as easily as my death would be shrugged off to you, so was hers to me. You wouldn’t have wanted her, anyway. She was _utterly_ insane. Mind gone but for escape. Even as magicless as I was, I could see she had to be stopped. Someone as… grotesque as that, should not exist. Magic didn’t like her. It wanted her gone. I didn’t get that sense from magic about these two when we were there. I don’t believe I’d get it from you, either.”

 

Pained knowing etched across her face as if she understood what I was talking about, but then she began to howl, agonized tears dripping down her face.

 

I watched her for a short moment and then give a slight bow and turn away from her with the two elves silently following suit in bowing and taking up a side of each of mine as I head into the great hall. All activity stops, with elves instantly falling to the floor in a worshipping position, which high ranking soldiers couldn’t help but copy until the whole room was bowing.

 

I had no idea what to do.

 

Should I think nothing of it and accept it? I’d be seen as a dominant power or tyrannical, then.

 

Should I tell them to get up? I’d be seen as benevolent, or potentially weak.

 

Leviathan outside roared and then an eye appeared behind me to look in and rumbled her greeting to which I flared some magic back, bright and she made a low dragon sound of happiness. I smile and nod. She reminded me of what I wanted to accomplish here, and fear wasn’t the way to go. I turn to the others in the room and say. “Up. There’s no need for genuflection,” I command loudly, magic a fifth of the way back. They rose unsurely. I walk past them swiftly, unsure what to do now but then I decide to go to the War Room, the likely place the others are.

 

Indeed, as I draw near, there is loud arguing.

 

It ground to a halt when I entered.

 

“Don’t stop on my account,” I say, amused and looking at them all.

 

Awkward silence then occurred and my lips twitched.

 

“What were you arguing about?”

 

No one said anything, watching me as if I were about to burst into demons.

 

Merrill was the one to crack. “We didn’t know what you wanted! We thought you may want to take over Thedas!”

 

I squint at her as the room seemed to hold its breath. “I’ve never once thought of taking over Thedas.” Then I consider it with a hum. “I mean, it couldn’t be too hard.” I think if I were to, then the first to go would be Ferelden. Not to mention it would steer away from me making whole new planes of existence with June and potentially Solas, and Solas himself could concentrate on making this world merge with its Fade again. It would keep me busy for years as well. Right now, my concern is making sure I have enough to do I won’t go mad with boredom for the many years to come. “What do you guys think?”

 

Silence.

 

I continue on regardless as I go over to the War Table, “I’d abolish slavery for a start. I’d institute healthcare and basic education for all. Elves wouldn’t be second rate citizens any longer.” I looked down at the map, ignoring a bunch of those little holders signifying different happenings and forces stationed. “I can easily create forces to subdue without harm. The kindest takeover in history.”

 

Varric spoke up, “You’re not serious, experimenter?”

 

I smile at him, amused, and say, “Well, it _would_ be an experiment. Take one over, implement these rules, see how it goes. Do you think what I’m saying I would do is bad?”

 

“It’s _taking over_ by force,” He argued.

 

“Yes, and?”

 

Quiet once more as I look at him expectantly.

 

“Experimenter…”

 

“Varric, these people need a slap in the face that’ll wake them the fuck up. Alienages burnt down, Templars raping and blackmailing with I’ll say you have blood magic, Magisterium’s advocating slavery? Since when is any of that deplorable bullshit necessary in your world? Because you saying no to me stopping it just because you get squeamish over me taking over countries really makes me think you should have a good hard look in the mirror, my friend. I’ve only ever used my magic and position to help and heal people. That isn’t changing.”

 

Varric didn’t dispute this. But he did remark, “Even if I wanted to I couldn’t stop you.”

 

I give him a droll look. “Ah. That. Your fear of me is your problem. So, takeover?”

 

“What would you do with the Qunari?”

 

“Do with them? Like naughty children I need to put over my knee?” No laughter from The Iron Bull. “Hm. The Qun is religion, right? Well, no religion is going to have any say in government issues.”

 

That made a lot of them gawk at me, offended, and then that sent them off.

 

Cassandra spoke up loudest, “But the Chantry has been a force for the people-”

 

“Since when?” I reply swiftly. “Because people like you would have had people like me locked up for existing. Anyway, that thought is something you’ve punched me for just for saying it, _Cassandra_. I hope you didn’t think I forgot that.” I watch her pale and step back unblinkingly. “The Chantry can exist, like any religion will, it will simply have no say in governing issues. It doesn’t need to. Have your beliefs, but we need laws for people, not for enforcement in belief of gods that may or may not even exist. But do you know what people need? Good health, safety, education, homing, and of course food. Without trying to control or kill people, the Chantry can return to its actual base of service to the peoples’ spiritual health instead of infighting like they’ve done this whole time I’ve been here.”

 

 

Iron Bull murmured, deep voice still heard, “The Qun does that… Mostly.”

 

I look at him, because I didn’t understand the ins and outs of the Qun and would have to get on that soon. “Perhaps you should teach me the Qun, so I may understand it better? Without trying to control or kill people, the Chantry can return to its actual base of service to the peoples’ spiritual health instead of infighting like they’ve done this whole time I’ve been here. Should the people wish to go that is. Speaking of people, this is my friend. Introduce yourself?” I smile at the gorgeous elf.

 

He steps forward and lightly bows, and I realise he is still dressed in clothing more akin to the old ancient elves, long sleek lines and dragging hoods and pieces of metal of green-gold. “I am Telenal. I am a dreamer that was able to help Lani out of the Fade.” He threw me a cheeky smirk. “Eventually. Someone had far too much fun going from realm to realm.”

 

“ _Accidentally_ , thanks,” I say, faking insult and then smiling back, unable to help it because when he wasn’t jittering or kowtowing or swearing one of the Evanuris to death in the cruellest of ways he could think of, his actual nature came through in moments of clarity. This was a funny guy who liked his drink, liked to make things that pushed him intellectually and found fascination in cultures around the world. _A reason,_ he said one time, _that elves went through Uthenera was because new things occurred in new cultures_. _The same thing, time and again, got dull. At least now there was so much variety I would be happy to be alive._

 

Hopefully it would help him with his problems.

 

“Quite.”

 

And hopefully taking over Thedas would help Solas with his ‘Fen’Harel wants to take back down the Veil’ gig by diverting attention to a bigger crisis at hand.

 

Josephine is the one to step forward. “What would you do with the people?”

 

“The people? Heal them, of course. It’s the government that would be taken over. No circles, there would be schools without Templars, but certainly no Magisterium. No alienages, but definitely better homes and reparations. I’m sure old ancient Elvhen ways can be researched and found in the Fade. I know I found a few new ones. Research centres for improvements in technology and magic and combining the two for the betterment of society. That’s just stuff off the top of my head.”

 

“You’d not harm them?”

 

A flash of surprised hits my features. “No. Why? Suddenly you find I have this power, thus I must wish to use it to kill people? Insert evil laugh here? Come on now, Josie.”

 

She flushes a little at my reprove, but doesn’t look away from me. “You won’t harm them?”

 

“Josie. I gave up home to save it from having rifts gaping open in it to make sure all those lives would be saved at the cost of never seeing them again. That goes to the lives of people here too.” I gave her a look, meaningful. “Do not ever doubt my will to save people. I learnt to heal people from disease before all this stuff here. I learnt to close rifts to save people at the cost of tremendous pain and constant healing of my hand when I had no control over the mark. Now I’m going to help them by changing the future. Harm is the least of what I wish to do to people. I will not do so.”

 

She seemed finally sated by that, though it was obvious I didn’t swear it. “Then House Montilyet is behind you, Ruler.”

 

“Thank you, Josie.”

 

“As will be the elves of Kirkwall,” Merrill offers instantly. “Please look after us.”

 

“I will.”

 

“For the little people, yeah?” Sera asked rhetorically. “Can’t argue with that.” Then she grinned dirtily. “Plus me Jenny’s will be happy to have new people to _play_ with, righ’?”

 

“Certainly.”

 

“Alright, I’m in!”

 

“Cheers, arrows.”

 

Blackwall was uncomfortable as he said, “I will,” but gave no further explanation as to why.

 

“Blackwall, thank you for staying with us.”

 

“What will happen to the Seekers? The Templars?” Cassandra pushed, and I see Vivienne silently agreeing, eyes narrowing on me.

 

“The Seekers will remain part of the Chantry. As for what purpose, I don’t quite know. The Templars will be given rehabilitation to ween off their drug addiction to lyrium and will be the Chantry’s, but not one of them will be in any form of protection of others, unless in an army of some sort, like Cullen.” I eye him and he freezes, but jerkily nods at me.

 

A small pause but then he bows. “You saved the Inquisition today. I am still a willing Commander for you. You have my loyalty, and have since before Haven fell. I would not stray from you now.” He states, looking at me in a way a man still wants a woman.

 

That caused some eyebrows to raise, but a pursed lipped Cullen looked at them back staunchly.

 

“I’m thankful. They like you a lot, Cullen.”

 

“And if I were to pledge loyalty to you, what would you have me do?” Dorian inquired, still very much so attached to his country.

 

“Teacher for sure. I’ve seen you enjoy giving advice to the mages. I’d have you and some other mages outline classes in the first mage school and see how they take off,” I say, thinking. If I’m getting everyone magic, then it would have to be after one school turns out to be a success. Can’t have mages running about without control. They’d not have my issue of too much magic and slamming face first into walls, but one loose flame in a bakery and it’d be 1666 again. “Probably a lot less destructive magic will be taught however. Healing, barriers, understanding of the people of the Fade, magic for creation, magic for everyday life, cleaning, sorting, researching, making food. That sort of thing. I don’t know why the Circles put attacks first. Unless due to presence of Templars, but this will change.”

 

His eyes widen. “Oh that’s…”

 

“Not so bad? Well, no. Why does it have to be? I’m telling you, this will be the kindest takeover in history.” I look to Leliana next, watching her patiently. “And you? Will the Inquisition spymaster be on my side?”

 

“I cannot accept another tyrant to be around with Corypheus.”

 

“So you won’t help me?” I ask, and immediately create a flock of crows exactly alike to her own to take over her precious crows places. The delight of them is apparent as they gleefully gobble down the originals, waiting for the next ones out on business to come back. Let her scouts know. That will send her a message that she wasn’t safe. “Not even if I kill off Corypheus? Not even though my aim is to improve all areas of life here by recalling the bad of my world and how it rectified it and doing so to this one?”

 

“I do not agree with what you would do to the Chantry.”

 

“A shame, but I’ll keep you on for the Inquisition until Corypheus is dealt with. You will only know what I wish you to.” And I would completely use her.

 

She nodded and that was dealt with calmly, though I know she will be plotting out things to kill me off, making me smile.

 

Could be a fun challenge to solve.

 

“I cannot.” Sebastian bowed to me, and left without a backwards glance, jaw tight.

 

I was not surprised, but I was disappointed. I knew I would send a beast of some sort after him.

 

He knew far too much.

 

“I will also not be of this future you envision, and shall take my leave.” Vivienne sniffed, back stiff.

 

Humming, I look at her and nod. “I will remain in contact with Bastien. Good afternoon, Vivienne,” I dismiss, and she leaves with me watching her back and I see some people outside the door, inclusive of my people waiting for my commands.

 

“Is that wise, Lady Lani?” June murmurs. “They know information now.”

 

“Nah, Varric said it well once with Sera. You plan it right then it doesn’t matter, then you publish. Varric’s going to be my author for it all.”

 

Said dwarf choked as Sera snort-giggled. “You better pay me well,” He grumbled.

 

“I’ll take that as agreement. The Iron Bull, which side? Because it seems your Qun may be a problem to my vision of basic beings’ rights and needs being fulfilled if you had to defend it.”

 

The qunari grimaced. “The main problem would be our nature. We get… bloodthirsty. Blocks off emotion.”

 

I frown at that, thinking. “So you need an injection of emotion to maintain a healthy state of mind?” I turn to Cole, the being _of_ a singular emotion.

 

Cole brightens up. “Yes! We could! The Iron Bull, may we have a connection? I can understand beings from this plane and send memories and understanding to my people, and the qunari can have a person to help them! We can be friends! _Allies!_ I can see when you need! We can help!”

 

The qunari stared at him and sent a look to me. “How the hell did we not think of that?”

 

“Because you bind your mages so far down they are mere mindless tools for your trade?” Solas finally spoke up with narrowed eyes, having been taking it all in, leaning on his staff.

 

“They were willing.” He looked away from the elf to me, knowing he was going to get a retort and cut it off with an, “If it works, you have me and the Chargers as yours. And I think a hell of a lot of qunari, should it succeed. We could send out letter to Tal-Vashoth groups and bring them in.”

 

And a possible attempt at qunari invasion, sure. But they were a people with a problem, and I wanted to heal. “Solas, Telanel, I’d like you two on this please.”

 

The Dread Wolf bowed a little while June did so deeper, both remarking, “Of course, Lady Lani.”

 

My thoughts turn to asking our resident Compassion spirit and Cole nodded as well and I smile at him.

 

Chang agreed with it. “After the loss of what we’ve had, I would feel better with advanced technology being pushed.”

 

I grin at him. “Right? Any good with trains? Because a better transport system would be a great boon to us.” His eyes lit up at that, glad to have a focus and nodded, going into his head. Glad someone was up for it. “And we’re… going with this madcap plan? You’re all on board with this? Because this was just me going along with your madness of me taking over at the start of it, but I can. And I would. Because I want us to be a better people as a whole. So?”

 

A small pause as they look at each other and at this closeness, I can feel the amusement of both June and Solas in my marks. A little attempt and I send a question back to them, only to get approval back, which does surprise me. Well, at least from the end of Solas’ it does. June would follow what I say, and after all the blandness of his time locked up, this had him gagging for more. Solas looked at me as I turn to him and he nodded, eyes bright and fond.

 

Ah. That’s why.

 

Or I think it’s why, at least.

 

I peer back at them.

 

Varric spoke up firmly, “You got us, experimenter. We’re on board with it.”

 

 _This was happening_ , I thought, internally amazed. _They’re actually willing to make me the Ruler._

 

These people are insane and I love it.

 

Leviathan roared her sanction of this, and I took them on as fellow take-over’ers.

 

Or something like that.

 

I was just flying by the seat of my pants here.

 

Was it actually working, or not? 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 


End file.
